While friends are away cavorting in Europe, I'm watching over their house. Apart from the jokes I could make about the things I've learned (like that I need a house with a pool!), there are some more profound lessons I'm taking home from my staycation.
1. I can live with a lot less than I have: Though I may be spartan on some levels (I only have two sets of sheets, for example), on other levels, less is the furthest things from my mind (let's not talk about how many pair of shoes I own.). Though I'm on a staycation only about half a mile from my house, I packed as if for a vacation, not wanting to have to run home to get stuff all the time. Despite my small bag, I've got plenty.
If you can't go away, try: paring down your closet (as one example) to what you really love, and see if you can live with just those items for a month. I'm not asking you to get rid of it, just pack it away somewhere. This is a version of the outbox concept. If you really love it, by all means keep it. But maybe you'll find you don't miss it at all.
2. Live lightly: I'm not talking about packing lighty, although as I mentioned, I settled in here with only a small bag, but I'm living with the feeling of abundance. Perhaps it's knowing that if I need something I can run home to get it, but isn't it the same way in life too? You can buy it, borrow it, or rent it if you really need it. Most of us hold on to stuff just in case, afraid we won't be able to afford it when we need it. Knowing that you can buy if you really need it makes buying it that much less compelling and makes you much more creative and carefree with what you have. (I.e., I went to a party last night and, while I considered running home to get a dress, I ended up not having time. So I worked with what I had and you know what? It was fine!) This feeling is hard to hold on to, but I'm going to try.
If you can't go away, try: throwing out that old worn out thing that you've been hanging on to just in case or, if you're the kind of person who buys too much, next time you have an event, try making do with something you have, but mix it up and get creative (i.e., wear the same dress but different shoes, make dinner using just what you have in the pantry or fridge, use hair conditioner instead of shaving cream for your legs or face).
3. A change of perspective: Though I'm all about routines, being in a different space means they're bound to change. That change makes me rethink the routines I have in place.
If you can't go away, try: Mixing things up, whether it's the order of your routines or where they take place, like taking your morning coffee while writing in your journal on the couch instead of at the dining table listening to the morning news.
4. A new appreciation: New space, new neighborhood, new grocery store. Even the things that I do on a regular basis demand a little more attention and effort, and that's a good thing. Out of necessity, I'm living more in the moment.
If you can't go away, try: adding one new place to your repertoire of places you frequent. Try that new place for lunch, look for the new items in your grocery store (and try them!), get off the subway or freeway one stop or exit early. Take a different route or the bus if you always take the subway.
5. Experiences, not things: With a gorgeous house at my disposal, I certainly would rather spend as much time here as possible instead of out at the stores shopping. And I certainly don't want to go home with more than I came with.
If you can't go away ,try: subbing in an event next time you're tempted to go out and buy something (especially since most of us buy stuff out of boredom). Go to the movies or try a new restaurant instead of getting a new pair of shoes or the latest model TV. Plan a trip online instead buying stuff the next time you find yourself surfing the web aimlessly at three in the morning. Even a little bit of time away will give you a whole new perspective, even if you don't go very far!
(Image: Theresa Gonzalez from Eva's Eclectic & Elegant Pad)
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These are good tips. Getting rid of things you don't really use, then doing it again, and again, teaches you to stop wanting or buying stuff you don't really need. Realizing that the item you absolutely had to have, spent too much on, and now are ashamed to donate... the whole dynamic makes you feel like a failure. Then you realize that less stuff = freedom from that feeling.
Great tips & good post :-)
I find that even the act of pricing airline tickets for my dream destinations, looking at hotels, and researching sites makes me happier. Even if I don't follow through, and only browse for 20 minutes, it makes me feel like I'm a step closer to actually going.
Coming from a family where my father NEVER threw anything away, just basically put it in a box somewhere for those "just in case ..." moments, I'm just now learning how to part with things. At first it was REALLY hard. I mean, what if I need it later? Or it could come in handy? Arrrgghhh. But now that I've started to let things go, it's actually quite liberating. And I've let myself believe that my own ingenuity will carry me thru the next situation and I don't need to rely on things i've stockpiled. (This includes my wardrobe - not having to look at those old cardigans makes me happy, actually!)
This post is so out of touch. The kind of thing Domino posted...right before it went under. While I definitely agree learning to live on less is a valuable less, most people learning it aren't doing so in a joyful manner. Many of the people I encounter have learned to live on less because much of what they have is gone. They didn't get to learn this lesson by staying at someone's home with a pool, but by experiencing job loss, foreclosure or serious illness (without insurance).
Spending money on experiences rather than things is such worthwhile advice! I would rather go to a show, visit a museum or arboretum than have more jewelry or clothes.....it took a long time to get to this place but I'm so happy I finally made it.
Such a great post! I find myself having too much junk and this is definitely an eye opener. I can't wait to go home and go through all my non-used belongings. I think I'm on the right route...I just sold my 32GB iPod touch on Amazon that I NEVER used and it was a gift from my boyfriend. I got rid of the past and gained some cash. A great time to declutter your life is when you're moving...just so happens that I'm moving the end of August. :)
***A gift from my EX-BOYFRIEND*** - correction.
@good time teeth This post is as relevant as ever if not more so because of the poor economy. We are a country of people who live beyond our means, buy things we don't need, and waste so much in general. Even poor people buy things they don't need. This post is a reminder that we don't need as much as we think we do. It doesn't take much to live simply and well- we just have to figure out how to make the most out of what we have and what the meaning of living well truly is. Why shouldn't learning how to do so be done in a joyful manner? Just because times are hard it doesn't mean that you have to be morose.
I hate to do it, but, I have to completely agree with the out of touch call. This is what my peers have been doing for years now (and without the pool). No one is still liberated by it. Yes everyone has learned to recycle that old cardie and 'people are more important than stuff'. But we would all have to have a giggle at the instead of 'buying' something go to the movies or a new restaurant; comment... same paycheck though huh.
Absolutely not out of touch, and beautifully written. This is the best post I've seen in 6 months and the reason I started frequenting AT 3 years ago. Keep it up.
ditto crypton
I love the lamps in the photo. Does anyone know who makes them?
"We are a country of people who live beyond our means, buy things we don't need, and waste so much in general. Even poor people buy things they don't need. "
how many 'poor people' do you actually know. Or is this just some stereotype about poor people gathered from sources equally as ill informed as yourself. Because the poor people I know AREN'T BUYING ANYTHING...hence the moniker POOR PEOPLE. They are the people who come to agency to receive services such as food, clothing and most of the time they will go without everything as long they can scrape a little together for their families.
@good time teeth - you must not know that the poor spend more of their income on lottery tickets than other people. They have very little income, so as they say, "every dollar counts" and more so than for those with more money. That's an example of the poor buying things they don't need.
The people you know aren't buying anything. But jessicabrooke didn't say anything wrong. Your evidence is anecdotal.
A $1 lottery ticket vs. a $300 pair of shoes or $15 cocktail. Glass houses, people.
Why do so many posts end up being about shopping, just shopping, or at best, about not shopping? Like that post a few weeks ago about the pros and cons of living in a tiny town. All that really surfaced were remarks about shopping opportunities or lack of such opportunities. I DO like the idea of seeing one's surroundings through new eyes (different routines, changing rituels, coming home by a different route...this subject can be explored plenty without the shopping theme popping up again.
So far we have a 3:1 "great post" to "irrelevant" commenter ratio, which IMHO means at least a certain percentage of AT readers might find benefit in this post.
Maybe the other readers could write a post on how to be more joyful and less bitter about downsizing that wasn't of their choosing... Or just appreciate that there are plenty of ways to be in this world, and happily-throwing-off-the-bonds-of-conspicuous-consumerism-and-waking-up-to-the-world-around-you isn't exactly the worst way to be.
Soapbox: My 30 y/o bff made $10k last year - before taxes - and tells me she felt like a queen, going out for dinner several times a week and volunteering in the Philippines for 3 weeks (disaster relief - there's a heavy dose of perspective in that work). Another very happy friend is the sole breadwinner supporting his wife and two kids, on food stamps, and his wife finds the time and money to buy skates and stuff so she can skate on the local roller derby team. Don't make poor people sound so dour. It's all about making money choices that are right for you.
Great post.
I couldn't afford to go anywhere last year so I spent a week at home cleaning out my closets, cabinets, and pantry. I mean REALLY cleaning. Taking everything out, washing the empty closet and washing everything in it before I decided whether or not to put it back or to donate it. It made me feel virtuous, made me acknowledge everything I have, and I hope helped out some of the people who got the stuff I gave away.
I normally have my elderly mother living with me. She talks every moment the TV isn't on. My vacation took place while she was visiting my brother, so I conducted this purge and cleanse in complete silence when I wasn't blasting music I normally never hear except through earbuds.
My vacation was heavenly and didn't cost me a cent except for some new spiffy new hangers I bought to replace wire ones.
Am I the only one thinking that the lamps in the photo above are gorgeous?
I don't know if this is on topic or not but this post reminds me of a conscious change I've been trying to make. I consider myself in the middle class with a modest but adequate income. Because I'm fortunate to have my basic needs of food, shelter, and health met (for now) I've been trying really hard not to say "I can't afford...." and instead say "I don't value...."
I find by changing my vocabulary, I'm more mindful about what I'm spending my money on. For example I don't have an IPhone (or smartphone), or cable, or dvr not because "I can't afford it" but because "I don't value it." The language puts me in control. On the other hand, I live in a city which is very expensive but that experience is valuable to me. I'm not saying one lifestyle choice is better than another but I like to recognize that it is a choice... when you have enough for your basic needs.
@HEYPIELADY - nice reframing, and I couldn't agree more. The consumerism is so beaten into us that having less is typically presented as some kind of deprivation rather than an acceptance and effort to live joyfully and mindfully with whatever we do have. And whether we have what we have by choice or by a reduced budget.
(I'm not talking about people who cannot afford the basic needs of food and shelter, but I also think that people in that situation are unlikely to be online reading AT posts).
Anybody else notice the irony of -- in what has basically turned into a discussion on the evils of mindless consumerism -- two commenters wanting to know where to get the lamps in the photo?
@heypielady - right on! thanks for the change in perspective!
How about we just celebrate
a. people trying to make positive changes in their life
b. people who find the positive in the changes that have happened in their life
c. the ironies in life! :)
I see everybody's point. I'm living on a greatly reduced income and going without because of a decision I made nearly five years ago: my bf was diagnosed with a terminal illness and needed my care. I have moments of bitterness about not having found a FT job three years after his death, but the strength that got me through through the nightmare of a slow death is also helping me reinvent myself professionally and hold hope for the future. My conscience required the choices I made, and while I certainly wish I were more secure financially, living without guilt has made my sacrifices bearable. There is value in living simply, but it's not easy or convenient. I appreciate this post, as well as all my fellow ATers who are struggling.
madampince I'm sorry for your loss.