That high-pitched shrieking you've been hearing for the last two weeks? That's the sound of millions of people raising their voices in support of a new environmental hero. You may think the latest installment of the Twilight Saga is just another foray into teenage melodrama, but we beg to differ. There are a few important sustainable lessons we can learn from this movie. We've got our Top 5 below the jump:
1. Sustainability: When we talk about long-lasting, durable construction, there's really no better example we can think of than vampires. Unlike last year's technology, vampires will never die. They will go on and on, like Celine Dion's heart, taking yours with them (metaphorically or literally speaking). And unlike that set of sheets you bought last Christmas, vampires will always be as white as the day you first looked at them in terror, and they'll always look expensive. Just take them out into the sun if you really want to impress people. They can break, however, but as long as you don't piss off another vampire who will then retaliate with an army of newborn killers, you should be fine.
2. Energy Efficiency: We've talked before about ways to stay cool in the summer without using the AC, and how to keep warm in the winter without turning up the heat. A nice solution to both of these problems is to get yourself a vampire and a werewolf! One has skin that feels like ice, and the other like a pile of smoldering coals. Our advice is to make both of them fall in love with you despite your adolescent petulance, so that they'll both be willing to do whatever it is you need in any given moment. You can then donate your unused air conditioner to this group of individuals who are clearly feeling a bit overheated.
3. Save Water and Detergent: When you don't wear a shirt, like, ever, we can only assume that you are being conscious of the environment and your water and detergent usage. Can you imagine all the clothes you'd have to wash or drop off at a textile recycling center if you were wearing a shirt every time you phased into your wolf form? Better to let your abs feel the breeze instead. And when the turn of your head in the school parking lot elicits the ripping of an electric guitar and the pulse of a bass drum, we think, "Yes. Environmentally-aware werewolves really do deserve the attention of the film composer in this moment. Forgoing your shirt is a smart and selfless decision on your part. Bravo."
4. Get Moving, and Depend Less on Oil: While it is true that both vampires and werewolves use cars and motorcycles (the latter of which was salvaged from a junk yard and restored, so extra green points!), we think it's important to note that they're really only doing it to fit into their community (see #5). It's clear to us that their preferred method of movement includes scaling trees, running faster than your convertible, playing baseball, and ripping the living (or dead in this case) daylights out of enemy vampires. If you decide to throw a 100 pound girl over your shoulder on your afternoon run, we think you can probably forgo your weight training for that day. And come to think of it, Edward did disconnect Bella's engine to prevent her from going down to visit Jacob on the reservation, which seems to be a clear indication that he thinks she should be driving less. (We hear they cut the scene where he lends her his bike instead.)
5. Support Your Local Community: The Cullen family is really doing its part to support their local community in Forks, Washington, and we're taking note. They're not only helping to cut down on the deer population invading people's backyard gardens, but they're also working to bring the disparate parts of the community together. Werewolves and vampires have a long history of animosity, but all it takes is one common purpose, and a lot of CGI, to bring them together.
Thank you, Eclipse, for leading us into a brighter and greener future!