This is so true. When I was younger I never saw the other side of anything that I didn't like. Now that I am older I love just seeing what other people do even if it isn't my taste and I do feel that I get something out of other folks projects.

So how has the carpet held up? Did the color wear?

The color was great, didn't fade, smudge or smear... but we did rip it out a few months back :) Thanks for asking!

EXACTLY.
It's just like Thumper taught us when we were little children. "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

Excellent article Sarah and a great reminder when a project is not your cup of tea, there's still always a takeaway, well said!
Kate

Excellent post. Just because something isn't YOUR taste, doesn't mean it can't be the springboard to something that IS.

One thing I've gained from seeing so many AT featured DIY projects - they have given me the encouragement to try some of my own! Thank you very much!

Well said Sarah Rae! So important to remember its always a learning process.

One of the things I enjoy about Apartment Therapy is that every day I see a new idea or technique. That said, I do also like some of the negative comments. If the paint you used is truly toxic, I would like to keep that in consideration if I think of doing a similar project, also if the paint does leach into the floor, I'd like to know that also. Sometimes I see a DIY project that I think is ugly, and seeing a comment that says so lets me know that my taste is shared with others. I believe in being kind, but posts that aren't all sunshine and rainbows are learning opportunities. We present ourselves in a very whitewashed way online, and it is helpful for your readers to have potential negatives listed.

Ahh, manors. How much we forget :)

Amen, sista! This is a great post for anyone, let alone those who always seem to have nothing nice to say. It always make me sad when I see negative comments that attack someone's personal style or way of doing things.

PS. My friend's name is Nancy & she is on a life mission to end the "Negative Nancy" term, we challenge you to replace it with a different euphemism like "Grumpy Pants". :-)

http://deelightfulstudios.blogspot.com

I agree with Kandyce78. Sure, some people need to learn to be polite when giving a criticism, but criticism in itself is not impolite and may actually help you think about something you didn't before.

Yes! Such a necessary post. I love AT just as much as the next guy but unfortunately, you have some of the cruelest readers I have happened upon. Constructive criticism is always appreciated but it gets to a point where I avoid comments sections altogether because of useless harsh comments.

Let's hear it for appreciative inquiry!

Great post, Sarah Rae. I feel the same way about home tours. A home may not be designed to my taste, but there's usually some takeaway I can get from it.

I agree with Kandy too, although I think the point is you can be critical without criticizing. And I give more weight to critical comments that have actual experience with a product or technique over one who's just making a snap judgment.

YES! Love the call for thinking positive! Let's face it, there are so many styles in the universe. It's pretty rare to find a design photo that is EXACTLY your style. Why badmouth it? Style is relative.

Plus, how many of us are interior designers by trade? Most of us are total amateurs! Let's reward the effort!

Well said! This is what the AT community is all about. I am totally second what MADIKAY said that constructive criticism has its place but lately I feel like AT posts keep getting attacked unfairly.

Thank you for this important post! I find it very distressing to read downright nasty comments on some projects. It will dissuade others from showing their projects and opening themselves to such criticism. PLEASE monitor the comments and delete the less-than-positive ones!

I'm with Kandyce78 and Ebarrett3, here. Especially since about half the comments you posted were criticisms that might help the next DIYer do a project that is to their taste, and do it better, which is the whole point of your post, isn't it? It IS a shame that you can see the tape lines—how could it have been avoided. If the paint IS toxic, well, you may be comfortable exposing your family and pets to toxic paint, but I am not, and I appreciate that kind of feedback if I'm going to choose a similar paint.

These points have already been made before, but I felt like I needed to weigh in favor of people who see criticism as helpful and not nasty. There are nasty comments all over the internet, but just because a criticism isn't sunshine and puppies doesn't mean it's useless or nasty. In fact, most of the comments you posted on your image could be framed in a more helpful way, but that doesn't make them less valid just because they hurt your feelings.

Well said Sarah. Some AT posters are among the rudest I read. Constructive criticism welcome.

I love when AT bloggers toss gentle amounts of shade at the more crabby commenters.

Thanks for this post! There is a constructive way to share opinions without being nasty. And a person can also give a friendly tip or reminder without being rude as well.

I would change the old adage to say "if you can't say anything nice, do it better yourself". I want to live in a world full of people coming up with ideas, being creative, and taking risks. Let's all spend our energy doing that! And high five-ing people who do it too. In contrast then, let's spend WAY less time and energy tearing down the creations of other people. If you don't like it, your real contribution in this world is to do it better, not to point out its flaws. That's just cheap and easy and not getting us anywhere.

I tend to agree with those arguing in favor of occasionally negative feedback. Criticism is extremely important, and when you get the awesome opportunity to post and get recognition on a site like AT, you open yourself up to ALL comments - good, bad, ugly, and spam. YoungHouseLove just did a really good piece on how to handle negative feedback. Without criticism, you get a fake picture of the reaction.

Honestly, I find the AT comments to be so awful a lot of the time. Thanks for addressing this.

I, for one, LOVED this purple chevron rug when I first saw it. It was one of many DIY chevron rug posts at the time, but I thought the colors were fantastic and that made it unique.

That being said, if you post a project on AT, its going to garner at least SOME negative attention. This is one of the hugest design blogs on the freakin' internet. Sites like design*sponge are lame because anytime someone says something slightly negative, the moderators will delete it or give an annoying holier-than-thou reply about "playing nice".

I come to AT to get the cold, hard truth. The negative comments are the most fun to read. They make the site interesting. And that's why after 4 years of constant readership (morning, noon and nite!) I still haven't submitted my apt for a house tour. Scared to death! (Luv u AT)

@Bethanynm, you gotta link to that YHL piece?

Thank you so much for posting this. There is already so much negativity and undue competition in the DIY scene. Glad to see some people are still sweethearts.

I agree -- to a point. I agree that most of the comments in the photo could be construed as constructive criticism, and those aren't the ones that bother me so much. The ones I hate -- and which I see here more than any other design site -- and the "Gross" "Ick" "Thanks but no thanks" types of comments on DIY posts. Also, most of the comments on house tours are, frankly, downright rude. Those essentially amount to an attack on personal style, and they make me sad.

It's gotten to the point where if I see a certain type of decor -- for exammpppllleeee, a house with lots of books? -- I scroll to the comments because I EXPECT to see a large amount of mean-spiritedness. What does that say about me, though? :)

That is purple? It totally looks red on my screen. that being said, I kind of like the tape lines, gives it some definition and texture.

I agree with Kandyce78. The "negative nancy" comments include some important constructive criticism and things to think about when trying to replicate the project.

Takeaway 6: Don't take criticism of your project personally. Other people can learn from your mistakes. Let them.

I tend to find a lot of the reactions of the people that profess "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything" simply ridiculous. This post feels like AT is politely talking down to those who have opinions. We don't all have to agree on loving every single thing on here, it's silly to want this community to be nothing but a lovefest. I believe there is room for those who want to express that something is both not their style and something they feel was a shame to have altered. If that's too much then why not close all comments and replace them with "like" or "love" buttons and never allow someone to express an opinion? The rudest comments typically seem to come from those who love everything they see and directed towards those who think something is less than amazing. Here's a little constructive criticism for AT: How about AT just make an effort to raise the standards of the DIY projects they post? How about listening to the overwhelming comments in favor of NOT promoting the destruction of beautiful furniture? How about making some posts with experts that teach people proper technique or expound on the beauty of patina? Please listen to your fans rather than lecturing us.

Whatever the criticism, I think the fact that it was DONE and you learned from it trumps anyone's negativity. At least you tried and did something, instead of not doing it. Even the negators are learning from your process.

I would like to do away with "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Sometimes (in all kinds of contexts) we need to say difficult things. There's a reason we have freedom of speech.

That said, I agree 100% with this post. Asking questions is never rude. Truly helpful suggestions (regarding materials, techniques, etc.) aren't either. Saying your taste is superior to someone else's always is. I really appreciate Sarah Rae's suggestion that we dig a little below our initial reaction (yuck!) to examine the source of it. That's where the learning/growth is.

Thanks for this. The comments on AT can be surprisingly caustic, which is a shame. I like your 5 suggestions.

At least some of the negative comments have content. I'd much rather read a thoughtful negative comment than yet another instance of "Wow. Just wow."

I agree that it's so rude to criticize the beauty of someone's hard-earned DIY project. However I think there's a difference between being negative versus sharing information. If something is going to make my family or my cats sick, for gods sake, tell me. If it's bad for the soil and water, I'd like to know that. Tone of voice is hard to read online. So say something nice first, then carefully share the information that could save us or our pets from cancer and our water supply from toxicity.

Thank you! I love it. There are a lot of DIY posts on here that I love, and some that I don't like. But each of them has something I can use, whether it's a paint color or a warning that a certain procedure is a pain or an idea that I hadn't considered.

Also, what @Emmi said.

Thank you for saying all this. I totally agree that there is a lot to be gained even from projects that you don't love. I always love to see creative things that people do, even if it's just to learn more about tools, techniques, and, even, what doesn't work for me.

It bothers me a lot when people criticize before and after projects on AT. It's just rude and kind of ignorant.

Very good points. I think when people make negative comments, they're just being grossly self-absorbed.

By all means, be nice, be constructive. But I agree that "Me. Want." and "Love, love, love" are just as counterproductive as "Blech" and "Ick". I want to read comments that let everybody take away a lesson, not flatter nor insult.

Sarah Rae, just remember one thing: people are snarky because they have rectal pain. They can't help it with all that burning, searing and itching....so does anybody wanna go ahead and get snarky now?...

Here's a novel idea: you can both take inspiration from a project AND be critical of it.

I don't know why people think that giving negative feedback and being constructive are mutually exclusive.

I love the DIY posts that give you their mistakes or wrong turns along the way. As you know to watch out for so you dont make the same mistakes. Cause lets face it all DIY is all about the journey a Great Idea, a bit or Trial and Error, those nasty little unforseen expenses or learning experiences and what you can take out of it and make your own. Not necessarily the finished product....

This is such a great post! As a blogger who posts DIY projects, it's a great reminder to take the feedback - positive AND negative - with a grain of salt. Thanks!

YES! I can't think of anything as innocuous as a house tour or anything as generous as someone taking the time to share his or her DIY experience. So grateful you brought this issue up.

I am posting to support those who so eloquently wrote about the importance of criticism and its place on a blog about design. I think what is maybe missing in the original post is the idea that comments should be constructive, insightful, or interesting rather than dismissive or flat. Writing "blah" is never going to continue the discussion but debating about paint choices will. And yes, while taste is personal, we all must agree that there are choices in design that are better than others in context (or else why would we be reading a design blog) and I find it very helpful when commenters share their opinions about what works and does not work. That said, I do find it polite when a poster qualifies a statement about a DIY, "It's not my taste but..." as that is just good manners!

Regarding #2, I definitely would like to see people comment more on the amount of time it takes to tackle a DIY project.

Telling me that you only spent 40$ on fabric for a new chair is only half the story if you spent 10 hours of your time to redo the upholstery.

@GOOSE 80, I totally agree. The problem is that even when I qualify my opinion ("They did a great job, but..", or "Maybe I just have a knee-jerk reaction against the phrase Keep Calm, but..."), I feel like certain people will always complain that my input is just mean and spiteful when I've taken the time to write some constructive feedback.

One of my professor always had this rule of thumb for critiques: say something positive, then give constructively negative feedback. If you can't think of one good thing and one thing that could be improved for each project, you're not thinking hard enough or you're not observing well enough.

I'd rather read comments like that than those of the everybody-gets-a-trophy variety.

I feel it's less say nothing if it's not nice than if you have a query about the paint dont be so rude - ask whether that is the toxic paint or whether the tape lines were intended or faded after a while - it's how you say these things - and sometimes I feel people are a bit over the top - it's not like AT are forcing us all to do that to our floor coverings...

I post both compliments and criticism on AT posts. One reason I particularly post criticism is to help MYSELF. I am definitely still learning about design and about my own tastes--often I find that articulating my opinions here, in writing, for others, helps me clarify my ideas.

That said, I try not to make criticism personal. It's possible to say "I dislike this idea" without meaning "I dislike YOU."

Wow. If you take a look at the post this author is referring to - from Feb 9, 2011 http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/before-after-spray-painted-che-138740 - the negativity has been overblown by the author's imagination. Instead of the quoted "that paint is toxic," the two actual quotes are, "I hope that 'furniture' spray paint is not toxic," and, "Spray paint can be toxic." Negative Nancys... or Sensitive Sally?

+ the quote, "It's ashame you can see your tape lines," is a warping of this balanced comment:

"This is a nice result, although a shame that the painter's tape lines are so clearly visible in the finished product. Makes the product look like a dodgy DIY. But aside from that, great idea and good to see new ways to update furniture."

As well as proof that Apartment Therapy really, truly needs to fire the copy editor they claim to have, and hire a good one.

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. - Frank Howard Clark

I heartily echo defaultname's and nailbunny's comments.

Having gone through an arts-based design education-- I learned far, far more from critiques that said "I feel X could have been thought through more. While you did Y right, had you done Z instead, your end result would have been more cohesive." than "That's awesome".

You have to be able to take critique in all forms. While "It's pretty!" gives you the warm fuzzies, that's really all you garner from that. Comments like "That's hideous!" are best left to themselves-- they serve no other purpose than to be mean spirited and should be taken with a grain of salt. But certainly the ones that make you strive for better are the constructive negatives. If your feelings are too fragile to deal with a constructive negative-- don't put it in a public forum for people to critique. End of story.

"It will kill your pets." Seriously?? What is wrong with people??

Great article. Couldn't agree more!

@Old Town Home -- that's not a real quote (unless it's from a deleted comment). At best, it's a paraphrase; a disingenuous one.

Thanks to the people that went back and read the comments she used as examples. I was already feeling insulted at the nature of this article and now I resent the lesson in manners from someone that is holding a weird grudge over the few non complimentary comments she received, especially when she wasn't honest about the quotes or their context. Sensitive Sally is right!

Constructive criticism that truly offers a suggestion Is one thing..."Mayonnaise! How DARE anyone eat mayonnaise?" or "The fact you have a 'Keep Calm' poster RUINS the WHOLE space!" enters a whole new realm of pointing out "flaws" in an effort to make oneself feel better. (Yes, the hyperbole is for effect.). After all, the really creative people spend their days voyeuristically surfing design sites and making snarky comments, right?

THE COMPLETE SET OF COMMENTS FROM THE ORIGINAL POST:

Comments (34)
Love it! Amanda at Our Humble A{Bowe}d did a similar rug for her boys' room, and it turned out great as well: http://ourhumbleabowed.wordpress.com/2010/08/16/weekend-painting-chevron-rug

POSTED BY HERNANDOHOUSE ON 02.09.11 AT 04:05PM
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What a great idea! It looks like it turned out wonderfully. Good thing to keep in mind when buying remnants or used rugs - thank you!! You just saved my budget!

POSTED BY DOWNTOWNCOOK ON 02.09.11 AT 04:20PM
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Wow, it looks great. I'd be curious to know if it holds up, but it does look like a brand new carpet.

At least you didn't start the project after a few drinks or a bout with insomnia, like some people do.....

POSTED BY PROFKD ON 02.09.11 AT 04:21PM
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I think it looks great and honestly kind of like the concept of having an aisle run down the middle of your house :) I mean not that I would install one for no reason, just as a nod to the church aspect. Even if you ever tear it out I kind of hope you keep it different from the rest of the floor, it's so unique...though I'm sure trying to design around it is annoying.

Would love to see pictures of the rest of your space - do you have a blog for your chouse reno??

POSTED BY RNM ON 02.09.11 AT 04:27PM
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Looks amazing. How does it feel underfoot? I imagine spray paint would make fabric/carpet "crunchy."

POSTED BY EJM01 ON 02.09.11 AT 04:36PM
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emj01 - Good question! It's not crunchy in the slightest, though I'm sure if I would have used spray paint not intended for fabric it would have been. It's just as soft as everything else and didn't change the texture in the slightest!

POSTED BY SARAHRAE ON 02.09.11 AT 04:40PM
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Awesome!!!! I've been wanting to try fabric spray paint, and you've just convinced me that the time has come!

POSTED BY LEAHDC ON 02.09.11 AT 04:49PM
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AMAZING IDEA! Love it!

POSTED BY MISSCHEVRON ON 02.09.11 AT 04:54PM
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Amazing!

POSTED BY MODHOMEKEEPER ON 02.09.11 AT 04:55PM
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Wild child indeed. I love tagging. Can't wait to get started on the carpet.

POSTED BY GOING LIKE SIXTY ON 02.09.11 AT 04:55PM
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RNM - We have one and will be sure to let everyone know when we go public with it!

POSTED BY SARAHRAE ON 02.09.11 AT 05:17PM
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Great (about going public with your chouse blog). I LOVE the idea of living in a church alas there weren't any churches anywhere near where we wanted to live. We came close once upon a time but we would've had to move state and....... well, that's my story... looking forward to reading yours. :)

POSTED BY ELECAT ON 02.09.11 AT 05:52PM
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I was just looking at the website for the paint. I would love to paint my sofa! And my living room rug! Is it wearing off at all? I dunno if its a high traffic area, I'd be worried that it would wear off on your socks.

POSTED BY AIREXURB ON 02.09.11 AT 05:58PM
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it looks excellent! i love the idea of living in an old church. it must be such a unique and charming space. where did you get the fabric spraypaint?

POSTED BY ODIESMOM ON 02.09.11 AT 06:08PM
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awesome!

POSTED BY LIZZYKEWL ON 02.09.11 AT 06:32PM
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Interesting! Let us know how it wears... I'm especially curious about how it holds up to shampooing, etc.

I can envision taking an old faux "Persian" type area rug and modifying it in a graffiti-like way into something totally different... Hmmm.

POSTED BY SHERRYBINNH ON 02.09.11 AT 06:50PM
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Several years ago, I painted my sofa and two other chairs in my house. After painting many floorcloths (painted canvas rugs), I thought, why not on furniture? I used the same process and it worked beautifully! Warning-if you are painting a bumpy or slubbed texture fabric you MUST use dye, not paint. The paint turns it into rough concrete. It will tear your skin! However, smooth fabrics turn out like old leather. You have to sand the surface of the final coat of paint to produce a super smooth finish. Very important step! Follow with clear poly. Water based paints are the best due to quick drying times and breathability.

POSTED BY CATEYEGLASSES55 ON 02.09.11 AT 07:27PM
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Love it! So curious about the fumes. Do tell!

POSTED BY LITTLE BUNNY ON 02.09.11 AT 07:50PM
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I did a similar project except I spray painted black stripes onto a basic white flat woven Ikea rug. It turned out beautifully at first but BEWARE!.. The paint wears off very quickly so it's best not to place these rugs in high traffic areas. Also there is definitely a little bit of a crunch factor from the spray paint.

But for a quick inexpensive fix I'd definitely recommend it!

www.themoderndayatelier.wordpress.com

POSTED BY ARIEL LAUREN ON 02.09.11 AT 09:57PM
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Ariel Lauren - I used a spray paint specifically intended for fabric, there isn't any crunch. It's worn perfectly for the last 3 months and it is the most highly walked on part of our home. It's seem water, mud, dirt, salt, dogs (and whatever they track in) and renovation work in and out of the house.

It hasn't budged in the slightest and I've been really blown away by it's resilience. The fumes weren't bad. Not as strong as a traditional hardware store spray paint and a little more than a can of Montana.

POSTED BY SARAHRAE ON 02.09.11 AT 10:09PM
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That looks awesome!

POSTED BY DELIGHTFULLYHOSTILE ON 02.09.11 AT 11:02PM
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Sounds like a recipe for disaster - spray paint on anything other than something that sits outside or metal is always nuts.

POSTED BY CHRISGAL ON 02.10.11 AT 08:22AM
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Fantastic! Looks great!

POSTED BY SUZY8TRACK ON 02.10.11 AT 12:19PM
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Why would it be a recipe for disaster? Sarahrae says it's soft and has held up for 3 months now.

POSTED BY MJR ON 02.10.11 AT 01:29PM
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Well for one thing, according to photo 1, their cute dog likes to use that rug. I hope that 'furniture' spray paint is not toxic.

POSTED BY DIRCE79 ON 02.10.11 AT 04:01PM
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Want to love it. Would need to see it up close though.

POSTED BY ST@CY ON 02.12.11 AT 08:15PM
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mjr -- Spray paint can be toxic so it actually scares me that the pet is laying there - guess they don't care too much about the dog. The paint is probably going to leach into the floor.

POSTED BY CHRISGAL ON 02.14.11 AT 01:16PM
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Okay I hope this comment isn't too late to get answered. I have grown increasingly curious about this product. How far does one can go? I see you used two colors, so did you only need 2 cans? Is that a 5'X7' rug? I think it's a great idea, and it looks cute!

POSTED BY MON CHOU ON 02.14.11 AT 04:44PM
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One more time -- it's not regular spray paint, it's fabric spray paint. It's designed to paint fabric -- apholstery, clothing, etc. It's ASTM non-toxic and they use it in children's art classes.

Here's a link to an example paint:

http://www.fabricspraypaint.com/page/Paint_Products.html

POSTED BY HEATHERKAY ON 02.15.11 AT 03:48PM
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I love,love,love chevron designs! You did such a fantastic job that you have inspired me to try this project. I'll start combing Craigslist tonight for rugs. Thanks for the tip!

POSTED BY MADAMHUMMINGBIRD ON 02.17.11 AT 06:55PM
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If you use a FABRIC SPRAY PAINT it work on FABRICS. I have used it for pillows, chairs, rugs,lampshades-you name it. No bad smell, No toxic fumes, No bleed onto clothes or shoes, no wear marks. When I get tired of the color of something, I just squeeze my index finger and out it comes. Hint: Always go darker than the starting color-that way you know it will cover well. http://www.simplyspray.com/Upholstery.html

POSTED BY ANGELAA ON 02.23.11 AT 04:52PM
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i really like the airbrushy slight variations in color on the lighter chevrons, it is a really nice contrast with the sharpness of the linear pattern.

POSTED BY PIZZAPI ON 03.30.11 AT 07:09PM
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I love the idea. What are the colors? Grey and purple?

POSTED BY HOUSE VOYEUR ON 05.23.11 AT 08:27PM
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This is a nice result, although a shame that the painter's tape lines are so clearly visible in the finished product. Makes the product look like a dodgy DIY. But aside from that, great idea and good to see new ways to update furniture.

POSTED BY HINMELB ON 05.29.11 AT 11:00PM
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Perhaps, instead of a lesson in standards of politeness, what's due is a lesson in journalistic standards.

I second everything that modestalmond said.

And would like to thank the poster for taking the time to construct the comment. My head is ready to explode from sinus congestion and I wouldn't have been so eloquent and concise. Kudos =)

There's a massive untapped market for pet killing rugs.

Personally I'd like my rugs to fight back a bit, but in a "teaching the cats a lesson" way, rather than a deadly way. I guess it's a complex problem that only millions in R&D dollars will solve.

Its my opinion that if AT is going to post something AND ask our opinions on the end result that we should have the right to voice that opinion. It is very disrespectful of AT to "delete" comments just because it is not what the poster wants to hear.

It is like taking away our voice! While, I agree that everyone should have manners when leaving comments, not everyone does. But, that is the risk that the poster takes when they put something out there. If you cant handle to heat; get out of the kitchen.

p.s. Its February and we are suffering from cabin friggin fever!

RLMESQ - Here's a link to the YHL post if you still need it :

http://www.younghouselove.com/2012/01/dealing-with-criticism/

Well written! So true...

I usually try to remember the spoonful-of-sugar method. Say something nice, stuff any criticism in the middle, and try to top it off with another nice point.

As for the rug in the picture, I really like the paint lines! I'm guessing that's just overspray, but it gives it a lovely shaded effect. Might look different in person, of course, but from an itty bitty photo online it looks great.

If I'm thinking about doing something and someone out there knows it could potentially harm or kill my cat, I'd appreciate them telling me.That's not rude-I would thank them for it. Aside from that,there is a difference between rudeness and constructive critisism/discussion.It sounds like AT only wants all compliments,all the time.Sounds like a great way to learn nothing.

Tbh, I actually stopped reading AT for several months because I was just tired of the comments. I'm a community manager for a popular social gaming site so I'd prefer my leisure reading to not be such a downer on top of my regular work. I really appreciate the sentiments in this post, regardless of the author's example of her own DIY project.

I think some of you are completely missing the point and now personally attacking the author. Frankly, none of us know what was moderated and removed from her DIY post, so you are merely speculating. This is AT's attempt at engaging a more positive community, which *has* been kind of a bummer recently. Thank you, AT, for addressing it.

Grow a thicker skin or get out of the writing biz, especially if you're writing about something as subjective or as personal as interior design.

Amen. Very well said. This is the first time I have commented on any post, ever, anywhere. I, like others, come to these sights for information and knowledge. I strive to be wise enough to take away what works for ME. And truly, I'm a pretty savvy DIYer, but I I ALWAYS learn something new. That's what I thought this was all about. Sharing information and knowledge and inspiring! You have done so for me and I thank you very much.

Oh YES thanks for posting this. Please people, don't think you're fooling anyone when you use 'directness' or 'no-nonsense' as a poor excuse for rude and pathetic little remarks that you wouldn't say to someone's face.
Of course sometimes AT posts projects that are downright ridiculous, and a little bit of communal jeering (when not directed at one poor individual) doesn't seem to have the same nasty tone.
A (constructive!) criticism for this post is, as others have mentioned, almost all of the nitpicks/observations are really quite valid, and they don't much reflect the kind of snide/ obnoxious/discouraging/cruel comments that I think this article is really directed at.

While I have been at times surprised and even shocked by some of the hostile comments left by AT posters, I really resent any attempts at censorship by deleting *any* comments.

I have also noticed that when a particularly abusive and/or cruel comment is posted, typically other AT commenters step in to condemn the abuser for their cruelty- so in my mind it balances out.

Let the community speak, we will regulate ourselves and be stronger for it.

As far as this author is concerned: unfortunately when you display your work on a public forum you open yourself up to criticism. It's just the nature of the beast.

Rather than lecture posters, it makes more sense to grow a thicker skin.

@clur -- "Personally I'd like my rugs to fight back a bit" -- LOL!!! :-D

Overall, I find AT's censorship practices more offensive than any comments.

The censorship is not applied fairly, even by AT's own standards. If it were, then many of those nasty comments people are talking about would never have been seen and would not be the subject of this discussion.

I'm talking not about the comments that appear and then almost immediately disappear (and many of these are innocuous). I'm speaking of those comments that are gratuitously mean and/or offensive and yet are allowed to remain. Guess it must be good for business. After all, that's what AT is -- a business. The advertisers must love a good comment-fest, no matter the tone/subject matter.

Let's see how long this comment stays published.

This is so true!!!! We recently began an overhaul of our 24 year old ranch style home. Because so many systems had to be updated first, we held off on the inside updating to accomplish things like a septic system and heat (my priorities are being able to go to the bathroom without getting cold!). However, by the time we got around to the fun stuff, both myself and my husband had lost our jobs in the recession! Cut to last year when we could finally start removing the 80's feel inside. We put down laminate flooring because of the HEAVY use our floors get on a daily basis and the fact that I just don't want to spend my time off redoing hardwoods. While we love the look, most of the comments from others have been about how we wasted the opportunity to increase the value for resale. Since we don't plan to sell, we pretty much see ourselves here permanently, it was disappointing to hear the negative comments. I truly believe that civility in this country needs to make a comeback; if you can't say anything nice, keep your mouth shut please!!

When you're putting a project or idea out there for public consumption, you should expect a variety of responses. Constructive criticism is good for learning and discourse. Simply saying that something "is ugly," or "horrible," or many of the other nasty statements I've seen on AT posts isn't constructive or useful to anyone. It makes the commenter look like a jerk, and that is all. It doesn't add to the conversation in any way whatsoever.

I'm not saying, "If you can't say anything nice, keep your mouth shut." I'm saying, don't be a mean bully just because you can hide behind your computer screen. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face, don't say it here. It takes a truly mean person to say to someone, "What a horrible, ugly project! You wasted your time."

I appreciate this post. I always like to read the comments - they're often just as valuable, if not more so, than the actual post. However, I've been truly turned off by pointlessly rude comments here many times. I know AT can't do anything about it (don't start censoring!), but I have found myself getting angry on occasion. That is not how I want to feel when I'm relaxing with some tea, reading AT at the end of the day.

Also, don't post in all italics. Oops!

I thought I would share guidelines for critiques adapted for DIY. Maybe this will be an inspiration.

Rules of Response:

Comments need to be positive. Uses of negative words (don't, not, no, shouldn't) are not allowed. Share what was liked. Indicate what can be done to improve.

Objective: Not to be the best DIY ever created, just be better than the last project attempted.

Hey, what's with the ad hominem attack on *Nancy* ?

I'm surprised when people say AT has the most snarky commenters around. In my experience, the comments here tend to be from genuine interest (or disinterest) and are crucial to giving an overall reaction to the post. It's design - some people are gonna love it, others are gonna hate it. The implication to all posts is that they are requesting people's feedback (otherwise, why post?), so to say that criticism is not allowed is counterintuitive. And to proclaim that a statement that doesn't back itself up is useless to the conversation is also misguided, imo. Is "meh" a worse comment than "wow"? I don't think so. (But like others, I too went to art school where constructive criticism is par for the course.) I will say that sometimes I feel obliged to point out when a DIY project is actually dangerous, which happens with astounding regularity on AT. But then I am even more surprised when people claim that pointing out a danger is akin to dissing the design.

Dee-Huest: We use "Cranky Pants" in my family.
MonPetitChevre: I love that the poet in you used "manors" to refer to "manners" since One doesn't get invited back to most manors (grand, elegant mansions) if one doesn't bring along one's manners (polite and appropriate behaviors)! What a great metaphor!

Constructive Criticism as it is called. This is a public forum, but most of the general public lacks courtesy these days. (The downfall of human kind.) There is a difference between constructive and negative. However to be constructive requires thought, not just typing what first comes to your fingers. Maybe try to imagine the person infront of you before you comment, what would you say face to face? Online, with out someone to look you in the eye, it becomes very easy to say whatever you want...So think it through, if it isn't constructive and merely feedback to relieve your own mind, dont say anything. It isn't about YOU it is about the posts, technique and sharing forum that the online community needs to support. You should still be friendly and polite even if you have never met that person in a REAL room :)

CLUR has the best idea, love it :) I think the whole point to this post and discussion shows that both sides have a point when done in moderation.

CONSTRUCTIVE Feedback, good or bad = Good.

Fake Politeness or Rudeness = Bad - and lets leave it out of this site.

If you don't want to hear what people really think of your project, don't post about it on a forum that allows comments.

Constructive criticism is OK. Attacking people on the basis of how they spend their money (or having the money to spend) is not, and I'm tired of seeing those sorts of comments on AT.

Those of us who have been in art school understand the concept of a "critique" -- which is always live and in person and can be searing and soul-shriveling. (Or not.) The negative comments here are laughable by comparison.

I, for one, am sick to death of the trend for "political correctness" and "faux civility" over openness and directness. In WHAT WAY is being lied to better than hearing a little negative truth? OPINIONS are posted here, not gospel. You can take or leave anyone's opinion as something you care about or don't. And I really doubt anyone posts untrue opinions!

I prefer to post constructive criticisms, with suggestions or observations that (I hope) might offer additional insights -- but I'm sure someone has been offended at some time by something I said here. I know it's disheartening to be bursting with pride over a project and then have people not love it as much as you do. It's the risk you take in any creative and PUBLIC endeavor.

THANKS for this post. I've stopped reading the comments on project and DIY post because some of them are so... unconstructive. And overly critical. So you don't love brass hardware, jeez, keep it to yourself. The career criticizers should be invited to post their OWN projects to understand subjective and objective opinions.

I would never hurt someone's feelings..about something they are proud of and posted for all to see and comment...I can observe and it may not be for me.but I hope I would never directly or personally 'attack' the poster..as a person. The quote wayyy above was how we all should treat the forums..'nourish their roots..etc..' thanks for this thoughtful post AT...I feel this is a wonderful vehicle for all of us who so enjoy reading, seeing and talking about our 'changing the world..one room at a time' and to appreciate the difference and learn from each other as well....p.s.and enjoy the hysterical comments that pop up on these sites...so many great people than the mean spirited sort! (I still miss the 'old' style ..sob sob..but I'm making do..;) )

I think saying "that spray paint is toxic" is so vastly different than saying "Geez, your construction is all lopsided" or "What an ugly color". To point out toxins is a critique of the manufacturer, and a warning that helps to keep us safe. I can understand being protective of a project but at least allow people to point out when a product from the store is dangerous.

This post offends me. Comments about toxicity, potential harm to pets and ruining an underlying floor are not trivial, and in fact should be considerations for anyone who might have loved the look of this project and be considering trying something similar.

Worse still is the snide tone about being a "Negative Nancy". I've read lots of critical, even insulting remarks here, but they are almost always directed at things or choices people have made, never at people themselves. Muzzling criticism, here as in the rest of life, leads to complacency and statis. Isn't AT supposed to be about improving our homes and thus our lives?

Does the author think that comments that merely applaud a project with a "Great job!. It looks beautiful"? actually contribute to the post? Giving the DIYer a pat on the back don't really further the conversation or add any helpful tips or insights, yet we welcome those, don't we?

It's the quality of the posts that will make or break this site, not whether a few snarky or overly harshly worded criticisms are in the comments area.

I love everything about this post! Some people are just plain rude. I'm a brand-new blog, so I haven't gotten any negative comments yet, but I know I will at some point, especially given that I am openly gay! So kudos to you.

Oh and where's the link to your blog? I want to see the original tutorial!

All of this proves that every body has an opinion about everything..including me. Exhausting. Seems like most people agree that constructive input and civil critiques are a positive.They're often helpful, thought provoking. A few "wows" and "love, love, love"s are fine but get boring. What I don't understand is the criticism of the author of this. I thought she was just raising an issue, open to discussion. To me, it seemed that some went out of their way to prove her wrong, or illustrate that she is overly sensitive. I don't get that, but so be it. I'm here to learn whatever I can and if I don't like some project, have no interest, I click off and return for a later post. What can it possibly benefit anyone to say "I hate that" or "ugh" but.. it's not against the law.....it's just rude. It must fill a need for those who think their taste is the only taste.

No. I've done too many renovations not to want to hear the negative before I tackle anything. There is always something you don't see or anticipate. Grow a thicker skin.