Whether you're the babysitter, the grandparent, the aunt or uncle or the parent, getting kids to clean up can be a challenge. Whether you need help with your chores or want them to take responsibility for a few on their own, here are some tricks we've used to motivate them to whistle while they work!
Make It A Game: For little kids who are eager to show off what they're learning, consider games that showcase their new skills like counting and colors (can you bring me 5 cups from the kitchen table?). For older kids, try races and contests like Swiffer floor cleaning races or dirty dust rag contests. High school kids do best when completed chores earn them adult priveleges.
Make It A Challenge: School age kids can be very competitive. Use this to your advantage. One friend told her kids that if their siblings did their chores, they'd have to pay them out of their own pocket!
Put It To Music: Little kids can be motivated with simple clean up songs. Insert their name in the song for added effect. For older kids, let them dj a dance cleaning party. They'll be especially motivated if they feel that you're interested in learning about their favorite bands. Kids love showing off their music knowledge!
Give Them an Invitation: Older kids are saavy to your tricks. Instead of giving them an order, ask them and then give them the right to say no. Of course, that gives you the right to say no when they ask you for a favor!
Break It Down: Blanket orders like "clean your room" can feel overwhelming and confusing. Instead, break down the request into specific tasks: make the bed, put the dirty clothes in the hamper, fold and hang up the clean clothes, clear the floor. It also helps if you give them an estimate of how much time it should take. If all of these tasks take them more than 15 minutes, it's probably time to sit down with them and come up with ways to rethink how their room is organized.
Reframe it: A friend of mine was having trouble getting her daughter to set the dinner table. When she realized that the point of the task was to get the dinner table set but that it could be done anytime, even as early as the end of the previous night's dinner, she sat down with her child and presented this to her. Be open to unusual ideas. So what if they're odd if they get the job done!
Most importantly, give up the idea of perfection. No, the kids in your care will probably not make a bed with the same hospital corner tautness as you do. Be happy that they helped, thank them for doing the best that they can and chances are they'll help you again!
(Image: clogozm, from their Flickr, with a Creative Commons License, some rights reserved)
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You sound like fun, Medusa!
An invitaiton?! No.
I'm a big spoonful of sugar person - the latest hit at my house is the backwards cleanup game - you pick up all the toys but you can only move backwards to do it.
Thanks for these tips. As a former nanny and about to become a new mom I often yearn for a drama/bribe free of letting kids clean up.
that said....
Actually growing up being the daughter of a strict southern preacher...My Mom had steel running through her veins. (she sounded a bit like commentator Medusa above).....problem with that was, when I was old enough to resent her I did...for a looong time!!!!! Till I got to my (ahem, late) twenties and realized, that I am kind of like her in my need to have things orderly all the time.
But hopefully I will a gentler way to teach clean up time to my little one on the way.
@medusa12120
HA! that sounds like something I would say
love it
At my daughter's school they play the mission impossible theme tune at tidy up time! They all now know exactly how long they have to get everything tidy, and it makes it more fun. Genius!!
Medusa, happy to read your comment. The kids can run their own regime (democracy, dictatorship, whatever pleases) when they're adults.
medusa12120 - right on!
before our kids move onto their next task (playing, eating, bathing, etc) we have them tidy up what they've left around. this helps them to not leave clutter around for mummy's sore back + daddy's big feet. our 7 year old likes an orderly room because 'i can find my stuff', some days he's tidied up the living room on his own. our 20 month old is wonderful, he even puts his dish in the kitchen sink, rubbish in the bin and takes his blanket to the room. i've never hollered at them, they just learn from example... if they see their parent/s tidying up they WANT to tidy up.
Right on, Medusa!
This is six ways. XD
I have to say, I'm with Medusa!
That said, making it more fun is a great idea. When my husband does housework it is like he has a thundercloud on his head, so I'd much prefer my kids learn to 'whistle while they work'! I think that attitude will be more helpful for them later in life for any of those tasks you just have to do and don't exactly relish.
Teach/involve them in cleaning when they are young. Even one year-old can help with putting things away. It is also a great way to practice comprehension and vocabulary with shapes, objects, colors, directions, etc!!
"When my husband does housework it is like he has a thundercloud on his head"
Ha ha, wow, that is the most perfect description I've ever heard of that sort of thing. Exactly what my husband does too!
I think a really big thing is to change your own attitude. If you feel like housework is a "chore" it'll show and the kids will pick up on it. If you approach the work more positively that rubs off too, and sets the kids up so much better for adult life than just forcing them to do as you say.
I am with Medusa. A tidy house stays a tidy house. We help pick up our toys or they don't go on to the next task. But yes, I try and make it something other than a battle of wills. I focus more on the attitude than the actual help because I still expect the adult to do more than the kids.
Also, small sized clean supplies are really wonderful + learning tower. Small Hands, the montessori store, has wonderful goodies at a very reasonable price.
When given the "right" to say no, kids usually do say no! I am, however, not above simple bribery in the form of an allowance that gets cut by lack of help with cleanup.
Does this work with husbands? I think we need a list for that. Starts with, gets a beer after cleaning the bathtub. Any others?
I agree with JudiAU - giving the kids appropriately-sized tools and access to everything they need (running water that they can turn on and off themselves, etc) makes them quite eager to do it themselves. I've made a lot of adjustments in our home so that our four-year-old daughter can be as independent as possible, and I've blogged about many of our DIY solutions.
And Medusa, I'm right there with you. Our home is not a democracy - it's a benevolent dictatorship.
I agree we should make it fun. When my kids hear me tell them what I get to clean up they jump on board and choose what they want to do.
wormy - seperate bedrooms!
it helps to give the little ones a child-size bucket so they don't run around silly after every item, get tired and whine.
The invitation idea sounds like a bad idea to me too.
With my 2 years-old son, I practice the "exemplary" approach. He tries to imitate everything I do, so I try to be mindful of my attitude when I do chores. Since he came along, I don't leave dirty dishes on the counter anymore (for anyone who knows me, that's incredible). As a result, he tends to tidy things up more than other kids I know. Later on, I may insist much harder, because I totally agree with the commenters above saying home isn't a democracy. You may negotiate to choose you chores, but there's no getting out of them. It's not a dictatorship either... but it's much closer !