Look, I can't ignore that monday is Valentine's Day and, while I am unattached, I will take this as an opportunity to help others. Yes, it is with total selflessness that I offer these tips for making the bedroom inviting and, dare I say it, sexy. So in the same spirit as 5 Essentials a Guy Should Have When He's Trying to Impress a Woman I offer the following tips:
I've just seen too many of my friends really kill the mood by overlooking a couple of really simple tricks for making a space feel like you want to be in it. So please, if you're planning on bringing someone home, make it nice. Some of these might seem obvious, but seriously I see a lot of peoples places and I'm beginning to think that some of this stuff is not obvious. And since everyone is different I have left these tips vague to cover the basics, so feel free to chime in with specifics.
1. Nice sheets and a made bed. Nice sheets equals something that feels good when you slide into them, higher than a 250 thread count, has no visible holes or stains, sateen only if you're into that stuff and smells either fresh or like nothing at all. If you need to invest in new sheets on a budget even Target has good options, just saying.
2. Privacy. If you have roommates: a lock on the door, a ticket to the movies, or music playing. Make your date feel as un-self conscious as is possible. This also means curtains on windows.
3. No overhead lighting, please. bedside lamps on dimmers, even christmas lights, anything is better than an overhead light. Set the mood. Don't worry about lighting candles, that can be way overkill, but soft light that can be dimmed - however you make it happen is perfect.
4. Clear the clutter. You don't have to spend all day, but take 10 minutes to clear out some piles, dust and mop or vacuum. Not having stuff stick to the bottom of your feet and not having dust bunnies fly all around when you set down a bag are the basics.
5. Take CNN's Advice. But seriously. There is probably one element about getting some in your bedroom that you can enhance: rug on the floor? Something in the nightstand drawer? On that note, keep what you need close at hand so that you don't go fumbling around at the worst possible moment.
How do you bring sexy into the bedroom?
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the panther, really?
OMG! That first photo with the panther on the bed! Reminded me of my (at one time) step mother - the first time I met her she was wearing a black satin jacket with a tiger face on the back! Classy.
So, the panther sheets would be a ....don't be havin' these if you're lookin' to impress..right?
nice bedding is a "MUST". i remember going to a guy's house and he had a granny quilt on his bed. i was so turned off.
The sheets made me LOL, I can't imagine anything more ridicudous when it comes to "seduction".
Clean and fresh and dimmed light is nice. Don't try too hard is the motto.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH GOODNESS! The panther... NO WAY! Comment on the curtains... SHEETS tacked to the window does not count! Actual curtains... or sheets on a rod if you must lol
I like a man who isn't afraid to rock the granny quilts.
lol @dirce79!
I'm having a major Twilight Zone moment... I was just looking at those exact same panther sheets online the other day! They have other wild animals too... lions, elephants, etc. Tacky as hell, but kind of funny.
I want that panther comforter... Best valentines gift for the boyf ever!!!
The panther cover? Total TURN OFF. Can you say "I bought this from one of those guys selling blankets at the side of the road"? Ugh.
Sex panther. 60% of the time it works every time.
Candles are always an easy one to add to your room...but it can get a little hot....
i know for a fact that i wouldn't get turned on by a panther bedding..
Just give me a hot sexy man and I'll be oblivous and nothing else in the bedroom would matter except clean sheets.
Revenge of the 80s!
All I can think of is that scene from Anchorman with the Sex Panther cologne! hahahaha!
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
the only thing that can complete the panther bedsheets is a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.
Panther sheets? YES!
Panther sheets are a sure sign that no one's used that bed for sex in a loooooooong while (if ever).
Those panther sheets totally rock and I don't know why. Perhaps because they signal another cat lover? KITTY!
My reaction to those panther sheets would be to run. Fast. And then block his number.
And guys, pleeeease - no tissues on the bedside table.
Since when does CNN offer sexy advice...?
...and don't forget the "everything's bigger in Texas" boxer briefs!"
Um ... why no tissues? And why is this advice for guys in particular? I'm not a guy, but I'm all for having tissues on hand, especially in the middle of the night, when you don't want to go clear across the room to find one ... then again, I'm a chronic allergy sufferer.
Panther sheets=overcompensating for lack of sexual prowness.
Ah Cremedela...so innocent. :)
The tissues are there for a "handy" clean up.
(Sorry...someone had to tell her)
Everything in the bedroom has to be something my boyfriend and I have acquired since we've been together. There's nothing less sexy than stuff from your partner's ex. We also have a letter C over the bed that lights up! Cheesy but playful.
With that first pic, the post should be titled,
"5 Ways to Make The Bedroom Sexier...in 1977"
The panther sheets are the best laugh I've had all day.
@ Green Mermaid:
That is EXACTLY what I thought, too.
I see "sexy" and "panther" in close proximity, and all I can hear is "60% of the time it works... every time."
If someone had the Panther spread and it was meant to be ironic, I would love it! But if the guy ACTUALLY had the panther spread - well - I doubt I would be at his house anyway....
Raaawr. The panther sheets are hysterical. Is there a mirror on the ceiling? And a hair-band poster on the wall? Please tell me there is. I'll wear my shiny spandex tights and a half shirt.
"modernguy" must be a tissue expert.
Yes! I found that sheet set on sale! My man Dolemite will be so happy on Valentine's Day..:)
http://www.bigcatsworld.com/product/BP128
panther sheets are a riot. so, if i'm an older woman with a younger guy, do i get to use cougar sheets?
@formosahirl:
I stand corrected. THAT is the best laugh I've had all day.
I think I jumped back form my computer when I saw the Panther bed. Made me laugh. BTW is the unmade bed a photo of the Ace Hotel?
I thought the panther sheets were a tongue-in-cheek choice to illustrate the article and not meant to be taken seriously.
just_kazari beat me to the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt suggestion.
I love it! I also think it's sexy. I wonder if it comes in tan because the panther kinda reminds me of my kitty. :)
I'm curious, what about the "5 Essentials a Woman Should Have When She's Trying to Impress a Man".
Panther sheets are never not funny. Great comments everyone, but just_kazari killed me with the image of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt seductively lying on top of the three panthers. The scientific names for those would be the growling duvet panther and the matching, stalking standard sham panthers.
My inner jr high nerd circa 70 is excited by the panther bed. Now I have "Putting out the fire with gasoline" stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAagFKdsSNs
Cleanliness is next to Godliness. The biggest turn off is finding a dirty bathroom. The sheets and towels must be absolutely fresh as well.
OK! NO PANTHER SHEETS. I would leave the room immediately.
Also, it should be clean!
- I would like to NOT trip over piles of clothes.
- In the morning, I don't want to sit there trying to figure out how to get to the door without touching the floor that hasn't been cleaned since those panther sheets were in style (if they ever were)
- And please, no horrible smells.
Wow, I feel so high maintenance now.
The only thing I can think of that's worse than a guy having those panther sheets, is the guy owning the sheets and affectionately referring to the panther as "Arnold".
what pimp thinks this is sexy?
Oh my. Total turn off. I was laugh my A%%% off when i saw this picture. Roar!
I didnt know those bad sheets are making a come back... i saw some ugly quilts with a dog in a parachute.. i wonder what is worst of the 2?
Um, I'm sure the panther duvet is a joke people. Some of you are real squares on here.
I would definitely put those panther sheets on my bed if there was someone in my house I couldn't get rid of. And I'd call the panther "Simba".
I almost had a heart attack when my mouse scrolled down to an angry panther.
Please don't do that again, AT.
Don't click on the above link it has a trojan virus attached.
Thank you. You gave me a good laugh.
I don't want a lover to get the giggles stepping into my bedroom.
For one hideous moment, I thought that the panther bedding was going to be on the list.... wouldn't you just turn, run and spend the rest of the night wondering how you could get the guy's personality SO wrong, if you walked into his bedroom and that was his bed?!!!?
Oh, that panther bedding! EW!
hmm my boyfriend did none of this. the first time i slept over, there were clothes all over the bed, "dog breeds" sheets (red flannel with pictures of dog heads and the name of the dog), empty bottles of 2 buck chuck on the nightstand and massage oil leftover from a previous relationship IN the nightstand.
now we're engaged!
mmmm, perhaps modernguy is just considerate of his partner?
Ha, count me as another who thinks hiding the tissues is silly.
Guys masturbate. It's okay. No, I don't want to see the lube collection sitting out, but tissues are multi-use items.
Besides, if he *is* using them to clean up, that's better than using the sheets or a sock, no? At least that way you know he's being clean about it.
Also, the top picture bedroom totally needs some velvet paintings to match the bedspread.
I once saw the most amazing headboard at the Philly Aids Thrift; it was jungle-themed. Pretty sure multiple species were represented. Amazing. I tried to get my (guy) friend to get it, since his aunt (who'd edited for porn mags) had given him a leopard-print sheet set (which he does use, because why not. although it is mostly hidden away beneath a boring comforter) but he didn't go for it. :(
I painted the bedroom red.
Plus red high count thread sheets. Soft lighting.
It works. Plus the room is always bright. I was worried the room would be dark with red paint, but it isn't. Never feels like a cave.
Fine chocolates in the bedroom gets me in the mood.
All the panther sheets bed needs is a mirror on the ceiling above it!!
I must also ask, "why no tissues?" If there's any place in the house where a box of tissues goes, it's by the bed. Why would I tear off all the sheets and covers and go stumbling about half asleep and half blind in the dark looking for a tissue?
Is that what women automatically think? that tissues by the bed are semen receptacles? Goodness, you girls have some smutty minds! haha.
And I think i might be scared out of my wits coming upon a giant panther in a dimly lit bedroom!
@sharonpakir
For all we know, it's there. Believe in the mirror!
What a riot. Thanks, AT.
PS: I want it known that my comment was #69. Argh!
@lolafabiola, here's the joke.
A young couple own and run a Chinese restaurant. One night after a busy day at work, the man snuggles up to his wife in bed and whispers in her ear, "Hey hon, how about a little sixty nine?"
The woman sits bolt upright in bed, glares down at her husband, and says, "You want me to fix you chicken and broccoli at THIS time of night?!?"
That panther is a Deal Breaker ladies!
I'm curious, what about the "5 Essentials a Woman Should Have When She's Trying to Impress a Man".
No sooner said than done, mezzogrl!
5 Essentials a Woman Should Have When She's Trying to Impress a Man
1. Breasts
2. Breasts
3. Nice hair
4. Nice smell
5. Breasts
i am not sure panther is really a good valentine idea , red / black satin sheet would work for me