That couple on the porch is the cutest thing ever!

Love this!

This is such a lovely post. Thank you. I am guilty of not having people over because my place is tiny (425sq ft) and isn't in perfect order. I'm going to make a point of having people visit.

I love this post. Thanks!

Thanks for this post! I think it's easy in today's world to forget about the simple things - that time at home doesn't have to be spent watching TV or cleaning up messes.

I love the last one.

I've been living this way forever, doesn't everybody?

Ditto w/@mellowhome... our house is constantly "in transition" (and kinda small too - 1000sf for a family of 4) that it prevents me from inviting people over. I need to just suck it up and enjoy the chaos with friends!

Agreed, I love this post.

great post- it's really about being present to the life that you lead in your home. I love the pic very Grant Wood- 2011

Very nice post. Well said.

These people are fricking adorable. The post gave my goosebumps. No, really! Thank you for saying it how it is. A house is not a home if we aren't there loving it into being. BRAVO!

I'm so guilty of #5...need to work on that one. :)

Entertain without worry is definitely something I need to work on. Nice post. :)

this is great. as i was leaving for work this morning i looked at my living room with stuff strewn all over the place and realized i hadn't made my place a refuge despite spending so much time searching for an apt with the right bones to turn into a refuge.

The most important is to Be Grateful. 5 million Americans (a conservative figure, I bet) are homeless, so any of us who are so fortunate to have safe shelter should be very, very thankful for what we do have.

Thanks for this post, I agree 100% Terribly guilty of #5. I adore the sentiment of #3.

Such a beautiful post. :) My best friend's Mom once told me, "Make sure the bathrooms and kitchen are clean. The rest of your home is for living."

This is so wonderful. I think this really gets to the heart of AT's adage of "saving the world, one room at a time". Making the most of our homes is so much more than just the stuff we put in them, and the way we arrange said stuff.

More posts like this, pleeeease! :-)

a lot of wisdom here...thank you.

Such good points. Along the lines of the "music" point, I also thing smells are so evocative. Bake some bread or peanut butter cookies, make a batch of stew or beans in the crock pot, simmer cinnamon and orange peels on the back of the stove, bring in a big bunch of jasmine. You can make your house yummy and inviting without going all Yankee Candle. Although I like candles too.

And OllieMommy is so right. Bonus: when I'm conscious of how lucky I am to have a home I keep it up better, too.

I'd add: Name it!

Those tips are so true! It is easy to apologize for what you feel self-conscious about in your home. Also I think it’s a great one to try and keep a positive attitude and music in the house, that way your home is associated with good thoughts. Really like the ideas. Good stuff to think about!

This is great! When I was young I used to wonder why my mom went into a panic every time guests came for a visit - they are friends, and this is the way we live, shouldn't they be accepting of us no matter what our home looks like? (And yes, I didn't want to help clean). My 10-year olds wisdom quickly disappeared when i had a home of my own, not wanting to invite people over unless it was spotless. It's a nice reminder to invite friends over more, regardless of the mess! Love #2, and I always engage hint #4!

This post is full of good thoughts to remember. I am terrible about #5. Am a procrastinator, so it is more often dusty. I should appreciate it even more!

I really love this post. Thank you.

I hate my home, hate that it's only 425 sq ft., hate that I have no storage, hate hate hate it and yes I am moving. There is no room for company, no room to do anything.

I think this is one of the best posts I've read here! Much much food for thought.

The above steps are what make a home special like nowhere else. My additions: 1. My home is my fortress and only place to rest, so I'm off duty here. I don't answer the phone or anything else unless I choose to do so. 2. Every hurricane season reminds me of the impermanence of my home and its contents, and to enjoy them while I still have them. These will be the good old days sooner than you can imagine.

Lovely post and comments. Thank you!

Hands down my favorite AT post ever. Thanks.

As couple you reflect all, lovely cat and lovely porch! :)

After our baby was born, my husband and I found ourselves turning on music more than turning on the TV for background noise. Our now-toddler *loves* music now so we always have something playing (his tunes or ours) and the TV stays off until he goes to bed. Not judging those who let their littles watch TV--it just works for us.

Still working on #11 but getting easier since we now have playdates that end in happy messes.

#5. Have no idea where 11 came from. I'll blame the toddler because I'm sure it's his fault in some way. :)

I've never had a home that I didn't appreciate having. But there were times when my life chaos was clearly reflected in my home chaos. In my world, an unbalanced home is little more than a reflection of an unbalanced life. Now that my life has balance, I find that, some days, I just want to hug my home. Even though it's not perfect and never will be, I love it love it love it and love everything in it. There's no place like it.

Another thing to make the other tips easie is to pare down and minimize.if you only have things you like in your home than you are less worried about others seeing them.

Lovely thoughts. Thanks for sharing. :)

Small space idea:
I share a tiny apt (425 sq/ft) with hubby, baby and kitty but we love having friends over for dinner...we used to fret about where to seat everyone until we came up with the idea of "picnic night". Now we spread blankets on the living room floor and eat dinner and enjoy wine like we would in the park. Some of the best nights have been spent like this.

I read this post soon after the e-mail about it came, and then I waited to a while to read comments. All are great. Thanks for sharing. And by the way, I do all five but have decided to step up efforts on all five. I also hope to move in a year or two to a smaller space and am getting rid of excess now, because having too much room can be a problem as well as too little: more clutter, more to clean and maintain, less time for the real things of life, including the five listed here.

I HATE silence; there is always music playing in my house when the tv is off. This summer I purchased a wireless outdoor speaker to take into the backyard too.

And I do talk to my house. The day I closed the sale, after I got my keys I took a bottle of champagne over there and toasted my home and talked to it about how much it meant to me to be a home owner. In the past 3 years, I've painted and planted, sewed curtains and cushions and refinished thrift store finds and I think we're very happy together.

I sympathize for those who struggle with #5! For me, I was forced to accommodate guests in a mess when husband invited 10 people over for brunch a week after moving into our new apartment! Since then though, I find it easier and easier to have guests in home decor chaos. Plus I try to keep in mind how impressed they'll be when they see it after it's done!

Who was it who said "Did you come over to see my house, or see me?"

Also, often guests will have insights that might help with decor challenges. I've been struggling with a spot behind a staircase for months, and a friend visiting suggested a brilliant bookcase solution for the space.

There is a Garfield cartoon where he says that a house is not a home until it is well established with cat hair. I agree. :) #6 should be, get a pet.

At first glance I took #3, Speak Kindly, to mean don't badmouth your home. Which isn't a bad idea either.

I've loved our home from the day we moved in over 24 years ago, and often say it loves having company. However, after 30 years in the unforgiving elements of the Santa Cruz Mountains, it came time for new siding. The original cedar shakes were waaaay past their prime.

Just before the renovation began I brought my 4 year-old niece to the house, and when she got out of the car she exclaimed, "Aunt Lynda, your house looks so happy!"

She obviously saw beyond the weather-beaten, sagging shingles to the spirit of our home, which further reinforces my belief in tending to the emotional and spiritual well-being of my home.

I used to love our home, but I've been feeling really down about it (and other stuff) lately, and in general neglecting it - just barely keeping up with the dishes, and not really doing any other cleaning, so the whole place is feeling really cluttered and dirty, which of course means I dislike it even more - it's a circle. This post made me remember all the things that I used to love about my home, and I'm inspired to start taking care of it again. Tonight when I get home, I'm going to sweep and mop the floors, clear clutter, make the bed, etc. I know my lovely little home is still there under everything. Thanks, AT!

Great post! It's so easy to forget that one's home really is a nice place to spend time. It's nice to have people over, too, for a meal or to spend an occasional night.

Great post, great comments too, especially from Olliemommy about being grateful.

Any time I move, it never feels like home until I have friends over for dinner. I use the oven, get the place smelling good, have music playing, friends around talking---then I feel like I really live there.

Does anyone do housewarming parties? I would love to see a post about that.

What a lovely spin on creating the feeling of home! This is a real must-share article.

Cute couple, and I love the cat! The only thing I can add is to love your home. Keep it clean and tidy. Pick up the clutter and keep things neat. No matter how humble your home is, it is always more welcoming to me, the lady of the house, if it is clean and orderly. Mine isn't always spotless, but the main areas are usually presentable. I enjoy it, even when I'm alone.

Great post! Love the positivity.

Recently I was working on a huge family album project and I came across pictures of our last place. Oh God. Suddenly I remembered how things used to be for us. The mice! The heat! The arson next door! The brawls on our doorstep! The impossible to open oven! I wanted to go and immediately hug my apartment. Thank you apartment! Then, I thought about the apartment BEFORE the one in the picture. Sleeping with my down coat on. The gas leaks. The horrible drafts. The constant insects. Then I wanted to go to our most recent former apartment and thank that one to! Thank you old apartment! Thank you for your good landlord and for having enough heat so I can safely sleep in the winter, and for having a good lock. But even THAT horrible apartment was better than the literally condemned building before it that we lived in for 3 months. So, thank you apartment before last, for not being condemned and full of venomous spiders!

Youknow, not having art above my sofa or 4 chairs at my dining room table really seems like a pretty minor problem right now. All this was within 5 years. How quickly we can forget.

Here's another: Always greet your household members warmly when they come home. Make a little fuss if you can. We do this for each other and for house guests, too. Guests are always amazed and tell me how much it means to them.

Here was our inspiration, and believe me, it works: http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000482.php

This is one of my favorite posts in a long time! Very core AT, just the kind of reminder I need. Thanks!

@ Small space idea: picnic night-

I have a large home but picnic night has always been a tradition, with guests or just us. It gives everyone permission to take off their shoes, put their elbows on the coffee table, and eat with their fingers - it just feels so familiar & friendly!! It's great on Christmas Eve in front of the tree, or any other day by the fireplace.

@S.J.P., i lived in a 40 sq meter apartment (which is about 400 sq feet), with my boyfriend and our dog, and we often had people over, it was crowded but fun. but it's even better now in 75 sq meters with three sofas instead of one :P

@ AmmoniteInk: great idea, I'm copying it.

Dear Current Apartment:

While I may complain about your loud plumbing, lack of insulation, and erratic electric oven, I sincerely thank you for not being infested with bedbugs.

Also, thank you for letting me sleep on weekends, uninterrupted by the sounds of pimps and hookers plying their trade below my windows.

And of course, a very special thank you for not being managed by a married landlord who is sleeping with the crazy Polish drug addict chick down the hall.

DAMN I feel better.

Love this! Such good, common sense ideas. Enjoy your home!

Number 3 really struck me - I remember seeing an interview with Maya Angelou and she said that she will ask people who say negative things or gossip about others to leave her home...that her home is a place of peace and acceptance. That's always stayed with me. I can become much better at doing it, though. Thanks for this post as a reminder. :)

these are all so true. a happy house is a homey home.

This couldn't have been posted at a better time, I really needed this little reminder today! Thanks!

Reading this in my little apartment with the breezes and windchimes flowing through the open door...the neighbor dog at me feet, taking refuge and sleeping peacefully...one day soon I hope I will have a permanent home with these same wonderful, soothing sounds and feelings...all my own...

Love this post! It gives off a little Buddhist flair and lots of inspiration :]

The way we think of it is, "Fully appreciate what you have." We are lucky enough to live in what is for us our "dream home"--a 1929 Milwaukee bungalow that is mostly unmessed with. Almost every day both my husband and I (both separately and together) spend time somewhere in the house, just looking at and enjoying the original finish woodwork and floors, the beautiful light from the leaded and wavy glass windows, the view from one room into another, the view into the gardens and down the street lined with trees, and so on. We feel so lucky to be the current caretakers of this house and appreciate that we have this chance to live in a place so beautiful (to us at least).

I think it's great to read something like this. Especially how the outside world can be so stressful, it is vital to have a home to escape to.

I live in a sketchy neighborhood, but once you walk into my place; it would slip your mind. (Except for the screaming crackheads outside! hehe)

I have also learned to be grateful for everything I have, in turn, makes you realize it's the little things that count the most.

Oh, and fresh flowers. ;-)

Agree completely with the music. When I come home at the end of the day, watch the sun go down over a historic cemetery out my window, pour myself a glass of wine and play my fave jazz music, I feel like all is right with the world. And, there's no place I'd rather be.

Wonderful! Thanks so much for this thoughtful post!

It's great to be reminded what really makes a house a home...it's the 'stuff' of everyday life. Thanks for needed reminder

Love. This. Post. I'm printing out this list so that next time I'm coveting a new sofa/paint color/granite that I can't afford, I can be reminded that its my privilege to call this imperfect house where I live with my hubby, 5 kids and our dog, "home".

LOVE the post and the cute couple..I would add aromotherapy. I try and make my home smell soo good..I'm addicted to Pier One scents

Kudos, AT.

Too often we think of our homes in terms of "things" rather than a reflection of WHO we ARE. Our home is our refuge; our sanctuary. The door that is always waiting for us to pass through. The "soft place to fall", as Dr Phil says.

These are all lovely thoughts and so true! I spend my life helping people make their homes 'their own' and the five things you outline are essential ingredients. I like your thinking!

Always keep food and drinks for guests.

This sounds really silly, but I learned it from my mother in law. I always try to keep some cold drinks in the fridge and a few non-perishable snacks that are FOR GUESTS ONLY. (Rotated out to keep them fresh if no guests come, of course.)

I've even been able to impress the hell out of school friends by always having refreshments ready to whip out at a moment's notice, any time they come to the house. My best secret is keeping frozen cookie dough - with 5 minutes warning I can have a house that smells amazing, and you wouldn't believe how amazed people are that you're offering them cookies fresh from the oven as soon as they come in the door.

It does kind of sound all 50's housewife, but people do notice, and never stop talking about how wonderful your home is to visit. And it gives you a lovely glowing sense of being welcoming to boot.

Thanks for the post. How true!

I needed this post. Thank you so much.

Brilliant. This is the best thing I've read in ages.

I am very lucky to be the epitome of a "home body". I don't have a packed itinerary and I spend most of my time in my house. I love so many things about it. The way the sun comes through the windows in the morning, all the art and photos I have hanging. I love my home, so when I am organizing, reorganizing, or cleaning or decorating or planting it's not so much a chore as it is a labor of love for someplace that I love spending time. There's not a lot of places that I feel completely relaxed and well...at home in so it is most definitely my sanctuary from the rest of the world.

My studio is in our home, but our home goes beyond the walls of the house. Our home is the garden, the pond, the forest with all the critters.

Nice post.

Love this so much. So much, I added five more ideas on my blog.
http://justabouthome.wordpress.com/2011/09/13/cheap-ways-to-make-your-house-a-home/

I love fresh flowers (hate the waste though). Love the idea of having refreshments ready for pop-in guest. This was an inspired post! Bravo, Sarah! I remember the couple pictured from another post. I have never seen so many positive comments (only 1 or 2 Negative Nancies), and NO snark -a first for AT! ;) I was actually looking for design tips, but was nonetheless pleasantly surprised with this sweet list. I HAVE to to love the space I'm in, even if we have outgrown it and are looking for a house. I am SO guilty of #5. (Hopefully the cleaning woman who is coming for teh 1st time tomorrow will make me love my home even more!) I plan to send this link to my BFF -she's worst at #5 than us. Thanks, AT.

I love Kaete's idea, above, of keeping frozen cookie dough on hand so you can make fresh cookies in a pinch for guests! Brilliant!

Beyond that, for me, having a pet is one of the main things that has made my various apts and now my condo feel like home. Even more than the plants, the books, the artwork and the collectibles from throughout the years.

In truth, my suburban condo doesn't feel as much like home as I would like, probably because I had to move from a long-term rental in the city that I loved after new owners bought my building. So, I can use all the "feels like home" posts and Comments I can read! (even with my 2 cats)

I love this post. And the picture, it spreads happiness. And the comments, too. And I think that the positivity we leave around us will return to us, amplified.

This is such a beautiful and important post. It makes you thankful and appreciative at the same time. For some people who salivate through all the interior home shows and magazines and stress to attain what is not the everyday norm. This article lets you know you can have what is your idea of a quaint and beautiful lfull of love home.

I have to say, while I love music, I think I may love silence even more.

I live with my partner (a musician), our two sons, and our dog.

I love the rare moments when the house is silent and I can watch the shadows the leaves from the trees outside make on the walls.

Words of wisdom.

Perfect! Making memories is what makes anything special - whether it's shared memories with a friend or in a location. Just having a slow cuppa in the morning is enough to make a place feel relaxing and /yours/.

Catalina, I'm with you. Silence is golden.

Great advice! We do all of these things, except the last one. I know I need to do better. We have plenty of space, our house is reasonably neat and I love to entertain, so I am not sure exactly what my hang up is. I always seem to have an excuse to not have people over though.

Since our son was born (4 years ago) I have often remarked to my husband how much I love our house. Because we don't have as much free time or money, we spend much more time at home, listening to music, cooking, and entertaining friends who also have kids. Plus, we have much more silliness and fun (think light sabers and kid art).

I love that we can have friends pop in who don't care about the dust bunnies under the bed. They'd rather try out my new batch of plum jam from our tree in the backyard and watch the kids enjoy the sprinkler.

My favorite thing is to be at home. I love to work at home, create at home, entertain at home. It's definitely a retreat and refuge, so I've mastered #1 and #2. I also love having people over, so I've got #5 under control as well. I can definitely improve on #3!

This one might sound obvious but make it your home, not someone elses. I spent ages choosing paint colours for my walls. People came round and said - just choose one quick or you'll drive yourself crazy. That doesn't work for me - looking at a bad colour on a wall drives me a bit crazy. My bathroom still isn't choosen and it's a patchwork of tester shades. When people come out of the bathroom they always have an opinion about which one is best. I'm enjoying the unfinishedness of it!

Thank you for #2!!! It seems these days that my condo is more of a hotel room than a home. I've made a committment to leave everyday at 5pm. If I have to take work home then I'll at least be home. My office mate has raised the stakes and will "charge me" $5 for each day I don't leave at 5pm. Talk about your motivation. :-)

Love this post and comments. Thank you. Just moved to my new apartment one month ago. Will do so in the future.

That picture makes me want to make a macrame plant hanger.

Also maybe add "smile and invite people in when they drop by unannounded."

Read this post on my lunch hour and pondered on it for the rest of the day.

After running post-work errands, came home and cooked dinner (first time in weeks), listened to music as I cooked, and reflected on how cozy my rental basement is and how grateful I am to live here!

Thanks for the reminder!

I love this post. I am veerry thankful for my apartment, it's a big accomplishment for me and it's my baby. I love being there and I also try to make it a positive experience for my friends too. I heard it said that contentment is not only having what you want , but also wanting what you have. And that I most certainly do. To my house: "Thank you for being what you are, flaws and all, because you are a big comfort to me."

Love that so many people love their homes and want to stay there. I get dizzy listening to people who cannot sit still and must be "entertained" (movies, vacations, concerts). Do they not have the ability to sit and converse any more? Lovely extra advice from you posters, along with the article itself. Keep posting and I will come back for some more fresh air from you :) xo

tbgboodler - this is so true. Making a small fuss when your loved one comes home sets such a nice tone for the evening.

just had to cast my vote: i too love this post! thx!

My feeling is that you make what you want of it...for yourself first. Forget guests...it's all about you. 5 years and counting and my place is still evolving. But if you find your apartment to be your sanctuary, the rest will follow. And don't worry about money. Just get creative - find inexpensive ways to to get what you want accomplished...that is what I do all of the time!

This is a fantastic post. Thank you! I havr to second what another poster said about making a fuss over your housemates. One day my husband and I were talking about how nice it is to be greeted by a happy dog and how we wish people were more like their dogs. Now we greet each other and make a small fuss whenever the other comes home. It's nice to feel loved and welcomed. And I also make a huge fuss to the kids - "Daddy's home!!!" etc. It's great for all of us when they run to greet him!

This post could not have come at a better time for me. I have been neglecting my house for a long time, and lately I've realized that the person I was when I got my first apartment is still ME - I was so excited then to make my place pretty and "my home". I know I have the ability to do it, I just needed to be reminded why. Thank you for the post and for all the great and positive comments!

What a fantastic post? Music makes ALL the difference in the world. It can turn your new place into a world of new memories.

Woops.

What a fantastic post. Music makes ALL the difference in the world. It can turn your new place into a world of new memories.

Not a question. A statement.

Love the blog.

I Would add... to cook for your family members (always amazed with music in my kitchen), or better ¡with them!..
I'm a teenagers mum and love to cook with my daughters special and fun meals..... Involving food one can suggest also to receive friends and relatives instead of going out with them... Greeting them with candles, nice music and love-prepared cooking is the best!!!!

This is the absolute best post about "Home" I have ever read. It has put all of my thoughts and feeling about my home in print. I have printed and shared this list with a number of friends. These are the rules I live by. My home nurtures me and all who enter. It is an empty nest now but still provides love, warmth and safety for me and my family when they are here. Thank you so much for this post.

I guess it has been said here in one way or other but....a house is not a home unless love lives there. It could be a relationship between spouses, partners, with your pet, etc. I can always tell when I walk into a "home" versus a house or apt. I can just tell when love dwells there and makes it a home.

Our house has been named by the two year old. She calls it "Happy House" and we love it. Last night the two year old had a living room picnic.

This post makes me like apartment therapy again...even a bit more. I find it difficult to check in on a regular basis because of the obsession with owning things and decorating the perfect house, but i love that this article has considered the qualities of a home.

Awesome post.
I lived in my house for 5 years while working toward tenure. I got tenure - and then felt that I hated my house. Why? I had never lived in it or made it into my home. So I found YOU, AT, and together we have been making my house into my home. Its not perfect, but on some days, I can honestly say that I love my home! Thanks - this has been a huge gift.

Fantastic post! All of these points are so true. I definitely need to get out of the work-dinner-TV-bed loop. The days I break the evening cycle feel the most rewarding.

It's interesting to read these responses, to see how much this touched a nerve for people. Personal interactions within your home aside, it's true that a house doesn't nurture you if you don't love it up a bit. I don't love my house these days and it shows. I've been practicing avoidance...not venturing into certain areas unless I have to. I don't invite people in because the place is a shambles. I think my house and I need relationship counseling.

When we moved into our little suburban home it was shocking to see how many people didn't spend time in their backyards or their homes period. Especially with Canadian summers which are so short as is. Your house should be enjoyed just as much as you enjoy the people in it. If it's not, then maybe it's not the right house fit for you. Everyone has a different version of what makes a house a home and the comments showcase that. It's been really great reading everyone's views.

I would love to invite people over. If I had a living room, or anywhere for people to sit. Just the very small table in the kitchen. Or anything for them to do since there's no TV in the non-existent living room. I can't wait to move out of this place.

Wow- those two in the photo above? They dress exactly like my grandparents did. Truly, what goes around, comes around.

My 450sq foot studio apartment is not perfect, but it's MINE. I've only been living here for a month but the best memory I have so far is lying in my bed slowly dozing off to Portishead playing in the background. No interruptions, just pure bliss.

this was a nice post

I'm so happy to read such positive comments and this uplifting post. It's definitely a nice reminder. I just moved a couple of months ago and have been really hard on myself (and poor husband) because there's still so much to do around the house. But I've been forgetting that even though we still don't have all the rugs or curtains and shelves we need, my husband, toddler and I have made this a home already. Kudos to AT and the AT community!

I love this post too. Such thought-provoking ideas about what makes a house a real home that nurtures & refreshes us. It made me think of two more contributions:

1. Meet a few friendly neighbors nearby. For me that was an unexpected benefit of participating in our neighborhood watch - I met about 25 of the families on my street. And there are some really awesome people on our street! Nothing feels more homey that driving or walking down the street and waving to neighbors & friends along the way.

2. Learn a little about the history of your neighborhood or part of town. It will enhance your connection to the place where you are living so much of your life & making memories. Whether it's through talking to older neighbors, just walking around looking at the architecture, or reading historical information about the land development, it's fun to learn. I found out that our neighborhood was part of a project to first implement residential indoor air conditioning in our city, so the homes have different, sometimes kind of experimental AC systems dating back to the early days of central AC. I think that is pretty interesting!

We moved into a home with a bit more of an open plan and so now I can have the radio on all day and hear it whereever I am. I love to sing and the kids look at me like I've lost my mind. Then we dance ... and giggle. Home is where the kids are. And music.

Re: #5. Years ago, my parents promised my brother a big graduation party to reward him for some special accomplishments he had there. They knocked themselves out getting the house ready ... including ordering new flooring for the kitchen (which was between the formal living room and the family room). The old floor was pulled up to expose a plywood base. And the new flooring failed to arrive.

I thought my poor mother was going to die. All she could see in that house was her hideous kitchen floor. Then the people started arriving ... and arriving. Jamming the house. All the fun teachers came. All the adults got a bit loaded. All the kids stuffed themselves with food and danced. Not. One. Person. noticed the floor. My mother is still amazed about it decades later.

What a truly wonderful post! Thank you for reminding us of what matters most.

I love @JUKESGRRL's anecdote above about party guests not even noticing the missing flooring.

I'm one of those people who spend hours cleaning my place before company arrives - and by "company," I mean not only people for dinner or a party or the book club but even an out-of-town-relative or a contractor! LOL!! Of course, that's partly because I get reeeeaaaaallllly behind on housework so that when I finally DO tackle it, it takes me longer than otherwise, but still.... the flooring anecdote is great! Thanks for posting that :) Cracked me up!

This was great - exactly the post I needed to read. I'm guilty of not inviting people over because our house doesn't look like it belongs in Vogue, and I'm an inconsistent cleaner / tidier so often feel ashamed of our house. This article makes me feel OK that our house isn't perfect. Thank you.

Yes! Appreciate what you have!
Good article.

I often don't have many people over to visit, as most of my friends live in the suburbs and parking is often a problem on my street. When I can have friends over it's really meaningful to me. My best memories involve having people over and serving hot tea and freshly baked cake/muffins/whatever.

You will never go wrong, no matter where you live or what you have or have not, as long as you do not confuse shelter with something else. Live it like you want to...messy, tidy, sparse, cluttered, fashionable, hopelessly unfashionable and on and on and on.

Remember that "Home is Where you Hang Your Cat....err, Hat."

For Sameb, who is said: "I would love to invite people over. If I had a living room, or anywhere for people to sit. Just the very small table in the kitchen. Or anything for them to do since there's no TV in the non-existent living room." --
I can't resist saying, get hold of a couple of episodes of the black-and-white 1950s TV show "The Honeymooners" to sample the uproarious escapades that occur around one small table in their (TV-free) main room/kitchen. (Ralph and Alice's apartment has 2 rooms, and as I recall we never do see the 2nd room, their bedroom.)

I heartily agree with #5. A new friend (who has just arrived in this country) was saying that she feels people have been very unwelcoming - the only invitation to anyone's home has been from me. I tried to explain to her that people feel like if they're entertaining they have to make it all thematic and beautiful and the house has to be magazine-spread-worthy. She looked at me as if I had three heads.

Just invite people over. Put some blankets on the floor and have a picnic. Invite one friend over and have a cup of tea before you both go out to a movie. Anything. People love to be invited, and it creates a wonderful sense of community - something that is sorely lacking these days, IMO.

Books and bookcases. It isn't a home (for me at least) without at least two crammed full bookshelves and books by the bed.
Plus unmatched stuff. The things you have around cos Auntie So-n-So gave it to you or the odd thing you picked up while somewhere, it doesn't exactly match but it brings up happy memories.

When I first read this post, I was feeling a bit of deja vu. As I was reading the comments I read one and thought, that sounds like something I did. Turns out I was reading my own comment from almost a year ago. I no longer have to pay my co-worker $5 if I don't leave by 5pm. That's because I've done a better job of self-policing and getting out when it's time to go so I can enjoy my home.
Thank you for this post. It's an excellent annual reminder to reconnect and truly have a home.

When I was younger, college and post college, we all had people over, sat on floors, expected nothing in the way of decor (we were all poor then), and had a great time.

One thing I've missed about growing beyond this stage is that I don't feel like inviting people over until I've furnished and solved storage problems, as least in the main rooms, and that often takes years in each place. It isn't just that I have changed - other people's expectations have changed, too. They do expect magazine ready places. I've recently decided I'm tired of people who constantly remark on the areas of my home (which is quite lovely and clean and comfortable) where I still have some boxes or books stashed (out of the way of our gathering area in my living room.) I'm never inviting those rude folk over again (they come with groups I belong to - I don't invite them personally.) People are afraid to invite people over not only because of mom-induced inhibition we got growing up, but because so many people are really rude and nasty! So, they, and the groups that include them, are now banned from my home.

6. Hire that cute couple & their dog to stand on the front porch!

This is something I think about a lot. I am hardly at home during the work week, so I have a "game" I play on Friday afternoon where I say to myself, "I'm going to my country house," and I think about how nice it will be to get there, what I'm going to make for Friday dinner. I have clothes I only wear on the weekends to add to that feeling (including nice clothes that I wear out), as if I were at a different house where I keep different stuff. I make sure I really enjoy being there fully for two days and not make the entire weekend all about chores.

So sweet!

The best thing happened to me 20 years ago when I cancelled the cable services - SIGHS. Now we read, listen to music, talk, play games, play with the dog, listen to baseball on the radio and watch movies when its a planned event to do together.

And invite people over for coffee - no stress, no muss, no work, no expectations - just coffee and conversations.

Love the post.

When my little sister got married, she said, "When I get the house perfected. We will start inviting people over". They were broke at the time and living in a pretty cheap apartment with hardly any furniture.

My mom told her, "You will never have people over then. There is always going to be some kind of problem. The dishes won't be done. You didn't cook a perfect meal. Your hair isn't fixed. The floor needs mopped. It will never happen. Your life won't be perfect till your life is over.".

I always remember that. Have the party now and enjoy it.

Agree 100%. We have friends that always want to go out here, eat there, blah blah blah. Most of these places don't cook as well as I do, or have as much coziness as we do in our house. Plus it's cheaper! We spend a lot of time at the house because we have spent a lot of time making it our home.