Hooray for moving on! I totally agree with "Do I feel good when I look at this object?" It took a long time to get to the point where I realized that if it didn't make me feel good, it needed to go, no matter who gave it to me or how much I paid for it. I think that's the first step to turning a house into a home- making sure it's filled with what YOU want, not what someone tells you that you want!

Great sentiments - and advice. Thanks - I'm off to declutter.

When moving, I've learnt to be ruthless about not taking things are unessential. There's just no other way.

Boy do you make a good point. We American have TOO MUCH STUFF. It kills me when people have to pay rent to store stuff outside of their homes (which are already bigger than most of the world's). I realized all too late in life that stuff is an energy drainer.

That kitchen looks darling!

I'm afraid I'm still plagued by the "I loved this once so I should keep it" bug. When I moved recently I had a second bedroom that became my office/rarely used guest room. That room sadly became the recipient of all things I once loved but probably should have parted ways with. Yes, it's drab. The alternative, I suppose, is to toss everything I have and spend money to re-decorate the room. But I'm not going to overhaul unless I have a blank slate, and I hate to have an empty, undecorated room in the mean time.

Which, I suppose, affirms the premise of your post. One has to create a vacuum before one can welcome in something totally new.

Good luck in your new apartment. It looks wonderful.

any way to flag that spammer up there? ^^^

Looks like you have a wonderful place for a new beginning - enjoy!

Congratulations on so bravely starting your new life. This is a profound time of year for new beginnings. I've downsized many times over several years. Less stuff does feel much more freeing. Good luck! Hope we get to see a home tour of your sparsely decorated new place.

Thanks for sharing! I just recently experienced the same kind of separation & move. It feels really freeing to have a new space that's all my own and full of possibility. I've found my creative streak again. Good luck to you, and I hope you'll keep us posted with the progress of you decorating!

I think moving is the best way to declutter. We should all pretend that we're moving bi-annually.

And good luck, Laure.

is it just me or does that look like the most ill-placed towel bar

I had a similar experience earlier this year. We moved from 2700 sq ft to 562 sq ft. the purging was so rewarding! I too blogged about it at www.thedesigningprose.com, even those who aren't moving or downsizing can benefit from the decluttering or purging, whatever you call it, it feels good!

Berthamae: It looks like a curtain rod to cover the space under the sink.

When my husband and I moved from an 1800 sq ft house into a 600 sq ft apartment, I had to be ruthless. Best thing I've ever done.

Good luck with the fresh start :)

When we moved from a 3000 sq ft house to a 900 ft co-op (w/2 teenaged sons) we called an auction company to come and collect most of our stuff and sell it. We started over and bought apt-sized things - it felt great.

I too, had a change in life a couple of years ago. Spent a couple of years in transition, and recently moved into a wonderful little apartment, alone for the first time in 15 years. It feels marvelous. And I was so freed up from what I refer to the "obligation to stuff". Simply put, like you, if I don't love it AND use it, it goes. It's so much easier to manage. Much like my life! Best wishes to you!

Life never changes with out a bit of sadness for what we leave behind; and a bit of trepidation for what's coming. I'm sorry for the circumstances for your change, but I hope you find peace and happiness as you move forward with this new chapter of your life.

Your list for determining if something should move forward with you is exactly the one I use. When I lost my husband 1 1/2 years ago, and moved from our 1100 sq ft home to a 450 sq ft home, I ended up taking very little, and only 'replaced' a few things - new bedding, bath towels, etc. There were dozens of boxes that went to a yard sale or the thrift store - things that someone had given me that just weren't me, things I thought I had to have, things that I have no idea why I had.

My new home is uncluttered (for the most part), peaceful, and reflects who I am at this stage in my life, and where I hope to go from here. Best of all, it takes me only a couple of hours to do a fairly in depth cleaning of my entire home, versus most of the day that it used to.

I think these are also great guidelines when doing spring cleaning or any other organizing. I'm in the midst of this with my closets and all the craft/decorating items I own that don't get used. I do have trouble with the last rule though, which is mostly why I have so much still. "I'll use it some day."

Good luck! Such a symbolic moment in life.

Agreed. Used to live with my boyfriend in a one bedroom and moved to a studio. Moving and getting rid of stuff feels really freeing. I still have stuff that I don't need. Just last week I got rid of 4 big bags of stuff - mostly clothes - that I never used, and I still have some culling to do... It's amazing how much stuff we can have without realizing it. And what a small percentage of that stuff we use regularly....

Thank you, genuinely, for the point about relinquishing ideas of the kind of person we wish we were... that is one that I can struggle with, and brioche tins are exactly the example I relate to! Actually, there are times when reading sites like this one can complicate that struggle; there is much that is aspirational, much that looks utterly adorable and/or stylish and so on in a little vignette or on the wall, but that isn't the same as having a genuine place in your life and space.

There. I have my first true New Year's resolution at the ready: Clear away anything you keep because you feel it makes you seem like a certain sort of person, or because it suits an imaginary version of yourself. Keep only things that relate to your actual self and life.

:)

Amen amen amen. This is my list also and I can't stop preaching about it.
Congrats on the new place. Is that pic actually it? Cute.

Great, getting ready to move in to our new space and all packing ahead...beautiful advices. Thank you!

"...some magical future time..."

YES! Since I liberated myself from that one, it has been smooth sailing.

I really need to get rid of some more stuff. I'm pretty sure I have the hoarding gene, but always am trying to work against it!

ps. that kitchen is absolutely adorable.

I like the location of the towel bar! I never remember to wear an apron and always get wet doing dishes. This is also a good place to dry hands after washing them!

Laure I am going through the exact same thing right now. I too am leaving a relationship and my beautiful home behind. The thing I've realized while packing is that I'm not losing my home rather my home is always with me. I've surround myself with items I love and cherish and am excited to go to a new place. I feel the new year and new home are going to be fantastic and I wish you all the luck. Stay strong!

Laure...your article and every one of the comments felt like one big hug!..don't know why..but I bet some of the other readers may have also gotten that feeling....maybe, a hug to show..others go through this and find peace and simple living are out there and it is the opportunity to 'shout and dance'....permission to throw what you do not love/need or use, due to not being a gourmet cook or ever attend a huuuuuuge event where you do NEED to keep that massive 'potato salad bowl' that is a beautiful yellow....etc..;)and that apartment reminds me of my new one!..you'll be happy there..nice and sunny!!!!

I too moved from a 2200 sq ft house to a 750 sq ft house, just in the last 6 mos. Culling and shedding feels really good, and I absolutely agree with the poster who said "if all else fails, take a picture and get rid of it."

In other matters.... My eyes spy what looks like a nice old vintage gas stove in that kitchen... what make is it? :)

One piece of unused "clutter" I refuse to get rid of is my 1955 O'Keefe & Merritt gas stove. That baby is slowly being refurbished and will grace a kitchen of mine in the future.

..and DrMcfacekick....(hahah love the name)..thank YOU for your great advice..and reality check, 'no matter how much you paid for it....'!

Good luck with your new future:)

Lovely looking apartment Laure - I always enjoy your posts and wish you all the best in your new life. I am a few years into mine, with a great tiny little place, very little stuff, and it is indeed magical to come home too.

Great advice, and strangely reminiscent of the advice you see on the tv show, "Hoarders." Now THERE is a program to inspire decluttering!! (GAK!)

A tricky category is that of "things I will USE (to craft) some day." Having been an art teacher in a previous life, the strangest things found at flea markets and thrift shops hit that category, and are usualy coupled with the "OMG, what a great BARGAIN! That would cost X times more at a regular store!" (Sometimes ignorance of the value of things is useful!!) I'm better than I used to be, but I still have trouble with interesting fabrics, embroideries, ikats, kimonos, etc... Periodically I go through things and donate or pass on to other crafters.

If you are ever having a tough time paring down your stuff, just watch an episode or two of Hoarders. Suddenly it becomes very, very easy to get rid of things.

I am working on a room of "what in the world was I thinking" when I brought this here. Now, I have to wonder what was going on my head when I brought half of the things in that room and the part that I hate most is that I have to carry that stuff out to the dumpster or to the Goodwill now instead getting rid of it in the first place. Oh well I will not do this again!!!!

I watch the show Neat. The host seems more understanding and demonstrates patience and understanding towards her clients. I think a cluttered home is often a reflection of internal struggles. If you've dealt with a lot of loss in your life, sometimes it's hard to let go. Thanks for the article.

I purged a boat-load of stuff after a failed relationship. Not very smart. I should have kept it in storage until I was thinking clearly.

3 months ago I tried to merge my two appartments into two; I was overwhelmed by the thousands of boxes piling up everywhere - the "do I love it - do I use it - do I feel good when I look at it" was my perfect inspiration for the Saturday afternoon! I made real progesss - and the "do I love it..." will be my mantra for the next days and weeks! Thank you!!!!

... actually, it should have been "into one"....

I know I am late coming to this post, but this is so very timely and important for me to read. I am planning to sell my home after over a year of fighting for assistance with my lender following income loss. The blow is likely to be one that I am not able to recover from for a few years- meaning I am going to have to go back to an apartment for a while. I am trying to embrace everything that comes with that- a new adventure in a new location, more features than i was able to afford to put into my own home, and a whole lot more money in my pocket to allow me to do something other than just own a home. But it's bittersweet. I love my neighbors, I appreciate the space i have to entertain, the safety of letting the dog out in the yard for him to romp around , and am proud to have been one of the first homeowners in my generation in my family. This article is great because it emphasizes the importance of remembering that all things are just things, and their purpose is either a practical one or good for you mentally, or neither. I'll keep that in mind as I make my transition from one "thing" to another, and in choosing the "things" I'll take with me.

"If you are ever having a tough time paring down your stuff, just watch an episode or two of Hoarders. Suddenly it becomes very, very easy to get rid of things." -dearmisha (above)

Yes, yes, yes! That show is a kick in the decluttering pants for me every time I watch it.

Remembering your post, I recently sold via Ebay two pieces of artwork that although I still liked, reminded me of a previous relationship that I wanted to leave in the past. I looked at the pieces carefully and said 'I don't love them' so out they went. I'm very happy and intend to continue on this path and plan to move in a couple of months.

Good luck with your new apartment/start in life. Embrace the changes going on for you at the moment. It might not be easy but its exciting when you think of it that way.