Some years ago we asked you what you do when your kids declare, "I'm bored!" It's an affliction that is especially rampant during the summer when days are long and activities are fewer. It's taken a while, but we think we've found a clever cure for the boredom blues: the I'm Bored Jar.
Shay from Shaydes of Life recreated a vivid memory from her childhood with the "Bored Jar". She remembered her mother having one, and so she passed the idea on to a close friend. Using any kind of vessel you want, you put scraps of paper with activities written on them inside. Whenever someone claims she is bored, she must choose a paper and do whatever is written on it.
The trick is to include some undesirable activities, like "take out the trash" or "vacuum your room." With only a few of these and a majority of fun ones, kids take their chances when they declare they are bored: you just might pick "clean the toilet," or you might get "go get some ice cream." It's a clever way to provide activity for those moments when inspiration is thin, and yet the zingers discourage kids from finding themselves bored in the first place.
Do you have a fail-proof way to combat kid boredom? Tell us in the comments!
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I'm old, but my mother used the totally negative approach -- if I said "I'm bored" she'd sic me on some housework. Occasionally I didn't mind, if I was really bored and the housework was satisfying. But I was usually pretty careful to find something entertaining for myself before opening my mouth to complain after a few bathroom stints!
Read a book!
We learned very early to NVER complain of boredom. When we did, my mom put us to work cleaning. She sure as heck wouldn't have rewarded us with ice cream! As an adult, I have absolutely no patience for people of any age being bored. There's just no excuse for not being able to entertain yourself.
I agree with SherryB. Any declaration of boredom in my house was met with a list of household chores so my sister and I learned how to keep ourselves occupied. I think learning to keep one's self occupied (in activity and thought) is an important life lesson for children along with learning to sleep, self-soothe, etc.
When we complained of boredom, mother would mix rice and lentil grains together in a bowl and we would have to separate them out :-(
I was told, "only boring people are ever bored"! WELL...I certainly did NOT want to be considered "boring" so...I found something to do instead.
HA! I love the comments on here, especially Cactina's. That's genius.
My parents never tolerated that kind of whining when I was growing up, and at any rate I was pretty good at keeping myself entertained (I was an avid reader). Keeping oneself entertained is a skill that translates well to adulthood, I think -- such as when you're standing in a long line.
Love all these thoughts and ideas! Having a 9 year old who just made that
declaration after being in the car for 5 mins perhaps I will have to put some of these ideas to use!!
The jar is a great idea. I was such a smart aleck as a kid that when I said I was bored, and an adult replied with "That means you're boring", I usually ad a snarky/witty comment to reply to them! I would say it hoping someone could give me an idea for something to do, or even permission to do something. Maybe my mom would say, "if you're bored, help me go through these old photos," etc. I think it's perfectly okay for an adult to complain they are bored if it's legit. I read, write, paint, craft, clean, sew, cook and I can do it all before noon, with plenty of time just staring into space thinking about stuff! Sometimes I just feel restless and shut up in a top floor apartment with no greenery around, but can't find an excuse to "go out" without spending cash or withering in the summer heat at a park . That's when it helps to say "I'm bored" to my husband or a friend; they usually know how to get "un-bored".
Being bored is a necessary part of childhood - it encourages kids' imagination and resourcefulness. Parents shouldn't feel they need to entertain their kids at all times.
the whole "only boring people are bored" thing worked on me. it's true. i haven't been bored since i was 8 or something.
"Only boring people are bored" is a tired, trite aphorism that encourages children to believe that there is something wrong with or lacking in them if they admit to boredom. Not only should parents who use shame as a technique to rid children of behavior that annoys them be ashamed, adults who claim not to have been bored "since 8 or something" are not being truthful to themselves. And why should they since they have been taught that admitting boredom is an admission of being boring.
While this jar idea may seem hokey, I suspect it is also effective. Certainly more so than using intimidation to avoid irritation. And while the cleaning trick is also effective, it links cleaning to punishment - never a good idea. The mixing of a few chores with treats or activities makes the efficacy of the "cure" dependent on surprise and chance.
I agree with lynnindc: I think learning to keep one's self occupied (in activity and thought) is an important life lesson for children along with learning to sleep, self-soothe, etc.
My daughter is 9 and she knows not to ever say she's bored. We put an activity list on the fridge that lists a bunch of things she enjoys doing. When she's restless I tell her to go check her list. No way am I keeping her entertained every hour of the day.
My grandmother told me that boredom is for people with lack of imagination. I think she was right.
My father told me to "mildew"
For many years, i thought that the word mildew was a verb meaning to run amok about the house waving arms like a windmill.
I like the jar idea!
I feel to sad to read so many reports and/or endorsements of critical judgment for people feeling what they feel. Not all of us are born knowing everything about the care and handling of normal human nature.
So harsh. Seeing this lack of compassion and understanding sure helps explain why there are so many stunted people in the world...
Kudos to those that can teach this important skill with gentleness!
My childhood home was on a lake. Never bored for a minute.
I hear you, Secret Agent Girl. I also was astounded at the amount of judgmental responses to hearing of a kid's expressing what would seem to be quite innocent feelings. On studying the comments, I got to thinking the parents "listening" seem to hear their children's statements as commands for the parents to do something, rather than simple descriptions of the kids' own feelings at a certain moment. The humorous and well-meaning suggestions are great! The proud "shut up or suffer the consequences" responses are still sadly too typical of our human condition.
Secret Agent Girl, I bet you don't have kids!
My mother used to propose a few things from which she knew that I usually liked them. If I didn't want to do one of these, she proposed to help her with this and that. If I refused to, she let me be bored, saying "Okay, then I can't help you!" She didn't feel the need to entertain me but tried to help me find out of boredom. For me it was perfect and for her it was no bother. I learned to find out of it myself and otherwise accept that sometimes everything is boring and it doesn't kill me.
I was one of those kids that got bored easily - still do. The interesting part is learning something - once it's learned, it's boring. Still, when I would tell my mom I was bored, she wouldn't do much. She'd list off a couple things like reading a book, baking something, cleaning my room (ha!), but then would just leave me to my own devices.
I think the important thing is to realize that kids are going to get bored, and that's fine. But it is a good idea to try to give your kids opportunities to do things they enjoy. Telling someone to read a book isn't very helpful if the books they own aren't particularly interesting to them. If all of these opportunities are not interesting at the time to your kid, then let your kid wallow in boredom for half a day, it certainly won't kill them.
I'm sure when I was a kid I had sighed the dreaded "I'm bored" at one time or another. However, I used to spend a lot of time in my room, by myself, working on art/craft projects and listening to music. I'd be in my own little world for hours, until my mom called me out (to wherever she was) to ask what I was up to. I think she'd get more bored all by herself.
Anyway, I think having a list or a jar, or whatever method you choose, for helping your child solve their boredom issue is a great idea! I'm pregnant with my first child, and while I know it'll be a few years before I come across this particular problem, I need all the "proactive" advice I can get. I agree with "Secret Agent Girl", and hope to be a "gentle" mother.
Is there any parents out there that have used the "im bored jar" yet? If so, I'd love to hear how your kids reacted to it. Does it work? If the kid pulls a "chore" instead of a fun activity, do they actually follow through and do the chore? Or do you kids avoid the "im bored jar" alltogether for fear of pulling a bad card? Also, how many cards do they get to pull? Do they only get one pick, or do they get to pull two and choose which one?
My six year old son's daycare has an effective system that I recently began using at home. They lay out an activity on the tables while the kids are outside and when they return from their outdoor time, they are naturally very curious about what is on the table.
At home, I often ask my kid if he would like to do arts and crafts, a puzzle, or whatever and he typically says no because that is not something he would gravitate to on his own. However, when I bring it out without asking him, he is seems to be very interested and will spend a good deal of time on the activity.
Just a thought!
I was an only child and raised by a single mother who worked and attained a PhD all while raising me on her own. I had to learn early how to entertain myself and that if I was bored, that meant I wasn't involved in enough activities. My mom did a great job to make sure my life was full of activities and experiences that also allowed her to get her own work done --- Girl Scouts, summer camps, workshops, library trips. So at the end of the day, if I ever complained of boredom at "home," suggesting I help with a household chore was completely validated.
I credit my mom for my independent spirit, self-motivation and productive drive. I truly believe I am a much more successful person today because I was never allowed to consider "boredom" an option --- time was always precious because there were many more things to do, create, see than there was time.
I definitely think parents have to work hard at providing opportunities for their kids (HappyGoLucky's suggestion is great, set up an activity for them), but these should be activities that encourage kids to explore the world and create on their own. I think it's the job of the parent to initially create opportunities, but not the job of the parent to be the constant source of the entertainment.
All that said... I truly, truly hope my kids will be bookworms like me!!! I think that was a lifesaver for my mom.