Over the years I've arrived at pretty much the exact same conclusions. To #1 I would suggest also putting away any toys that you either can't bear the thought of: (1) cleaning up after (all of the seemingly hundreds of little plastic cherries in Hi Ho Cherry-o), or (2) play sets with special parts (if Grover were to go missing from the Sesame Street set we would have problems). Alternatively, have parties outside whenever possible (not so possible for the December birthday crowd), which largely negates point #1 entirely. The only other thing I would add is just to know that no matter what you do your house will look like it's been struck by a 3' tall tornado when it's all over; learn to be ok with this, and take it as the sign of a successful toddler party.

My party tip is not to have a 15 kid toddler party. ;)

We just do extended family in our house - birthday kid, 5 cousins (ages 3 - 18) and parents. Pizza, presents, running around and cake More than enough party to make any toddler thrilled.

Chuck E Cheese

As with so many other toddler-related elements of life, less is more. Rule number one: keep the size of the party SMALL. You do not need to invite the entire day care class--kids this age are too small to feel excluded, and they are unlikely to find out about the party unless some adult explicitly tells them about it. Some parents follow the "one guest per year of age" rule--that seems a little extreme in the case of a toddler, but it gives a general guideline.
Two-year-olds don't really need a big theme (those are really for the adults, so do as much or as little as YOU will enjoy) or lots of structured activities; give them a few, carefully-selected items to play with (and put the rest of the toys away), put out a small selection of snacks (you are not preparing for a five-day lockdown!), and remember that what they really want to do is wiggle and make noise, so a few low-key rounds of Freeze Dance or Simon Says may be all you need as far as games are concerned.
For the sake of the parents, try to wind them down at the end of the party--finish with a story or a slow stretch (I will always appreciate Dan Zanes because he ends his concerts with a song in 3/4 time to calm the kids before they go--it's impossible to get hyper to "Sidewalks of New York.")
While goodie bags are a source of much debate, they can be very helpful to parents needing an exit strategy--a small snack and a small toy to enjoy on the ride home can be much appreciated by the adults as well as the kids!
Remember that whatever you start doing now will set a precedent for your kid, so if you are considering hiring three clowns and setting up a deluxe face-painting station, be ready to match that every year from now on. If you start with cone hats and cake this year, you have plenty of room to expand in the future, when your child will actually care about such things.

Agreed. And if you don't have family in the area, just invite closest friends who feel like family. It can feel like Sunday dinner but with some extra touches that will make the birthday boy or girl feel extra special.

The time, money, and effort put into parties for toddlers these days is kinda sickening. My friends' 9 year old wanted a limo to take her and her friends for manicures for her 10th birthday. What do you expect a kid to want by the time they are 10 when at only 3 years old you are redecorating the house, dropping $200+, hiring entertainers, and spending weeks planning for the event with handmade and color coordinated this and that? Pizza, cake, presents, party hats. Those are the parties I was raised on and I felt special and loved on my birthday. Isn't that the point?

Can't have an outside party in December? Nonsense! My daughter turned 2 on December 19, and we celebrated with a family-only party with sledding in our yard and playing in the snow. Huge hit! We did start and end the party inside but honestly there was not too much damage (probably also because there were only 5 kids). This is more for the future, but a kid I know with a January birthday celebrated his 11th by building an entire igloo in his yard with his dad, and they had the party in there. It looked awesome!

When my daughter Jade turned 2, I made the mistake of inviting her little friends from the 'hood plus my friends with small kids, plus family to the point that we had 17+ kids (in ages from 0-11) and parents - in a small narrow Victorian semi. A few days before I started to panic and ended up hiring a local kids performer who came with guitar in hand and a great repertoire of danceable and sing-a-long tunes for kids. He saved the day! (The pin the tail on the donkey, on the other hand, was a bust).

Now I know better, here's what I do:
- keep the parties small (10 kids max)
- pick a theme - makes it fun and helps to focus decorations etc.
- have some fun crafts (decorate hat, make your own fairy wand, etc.)
- have games with prizes (free dance, etc.)
- pinada (awesome fun, outside is best - a kid nearly took out my TV one year)
- home-made cake (my daughter every year picks her flavour)
- eco-friendly loot bags (re-usable bags, stickers, recycled paper note-pads, crayons)
- make it a costume party (we did garden fairy last year), kids all came with wings, etc.

I was thinking this year to "out source" her 5th bday coming up as these home parties tend to be a bit crazy to plan. But oh no, she loves the "home" parties so much now that she's adamant that we have it at home with her friends. Sigh.

Now a need a theme ... any ideas?

P.S. for 2 year olds, I agree with others above, keep it super small and simple, just family or close friends. Nothing structured for this age. The "theme" parties work best for 3 years and up.

I think balloon animal makers are mad. Sometimes your friends just have weird skills that kids love and you invite them and the kids think it's mad. Doesn't cost anything more than just some beer or something either.

Ditto Sagaka on all parts. I'll add: Space out and separate activities/toys. I also max the list at 4-6 kids.

For that age, I don't do organized activities outside of cake. It's all free play, although I find the kids tend to move from theme to theme as a group all on their own. I find it's needlessly stressful for everyone.

For that age, I also don't do gift openings. It's hard for children that age to understand why one person is opening all the gifts or why a friend is playing with their new toy. 3-4 is a more appropriate age to start that, in my opinion.

I want that girl's dress! :)

I read somewhere that you should have as many kid-guests as your child's age in years. Seems like a good rule of thumb

We like the rule for same number of kids as your age because it's easy for children to understand too and It scales pretty well. Three 3 year olds is pretty manageable and so are eight 8 year olds.

Ditto on the not opening gifts at the party--aside from the tears factor, you also have to deal with the birthday kid wanting to play with the gifts RIGHT NOW, regardless of whether it's a good toy to share, one that needs assembly, etc. Plus, I wouldn't trust a kid that small to know not to say "I hate [insert type of gift here]," "I like this gift better than the one she gave me!" or, worse, "Mommy! Look! It's the rip-off from the toy store!" in front of the giver.

Hmm.....pretty sure that I didn't have or go to birthday parties until I and my pals were more or less toilet-trained. That seems like a good rule of thumb, right?

My brother is a single dad with a two year old and has to learn everything the hard way. He only invited a few kids to my niece's 2nd birthday party at the park, but chose for some reason to set the time from 12-4. Way too long for a kid's party, and covered the span of her naptime. She screamed/cried the entire four hours, didn't even open presents, and then threw a tantrum on the concrete and banged her head on the sidewalk in the process. The other kids were so perfect, but now we all know the rule about scheduling around nap time.

We did a party for our 3 yo last fall. We planned activities. They just wanted to play with the helium balloons.

I just had a rainbow/art themed party for my newly two year old daughter. There 5 toddlers, 1 older child, and some close family members. I only went through about half of the activities I had planned out of fear of toddler meltdowns. The biggest hits were balloons and coloring books with crayons.

If you have to invite 15+ kids (like, say, an entire 4-year-old preschool class), just do it at a party place. Seriously. We were remodeling, so a home party was not an option this time, but I would absolutely do the play place again.

The kids played on the bouncy houses for an hour and a half, ate for 45 minutes, and went home. The venue provided pizza, drinks, plates, cups, and favors. They even checked in all the gifts and made sure each was labeled with the name of the person who brought it. All we had to do was bring fruit, cake and candles.

The party planners asked my four year old if she wanted to play games with her friends, and she said no every time. They were all having too much fun just running around! We have been to other parties that attempted more organized activities and they usually don't work out that well for kids this age.

your stories so fascinating, :P

Our rules are:

- Only family bday parties until age 5 (would be harder without family nearby!). We have found that until then, attention from aunties and grandparents does the trick.

- Four guests, not including siblings. This means that it is big enough to feel "party-ish", but small enough that the birthday child plays with every guest. And it is small enough that other feelings are not hurt by being left out of an "everyone" social event. AND there is no massive heap of gifts to overwhelm.

- Have a plan! Our latest "cooking party" for our five year old was a huge hit. Decorate pizzas, fruit kebabs, cookies. Done. The kids aren't looking for fancy, just fun.

We just held our first toddler party on Sunday. I am really proud of myself. It was low-fi and everyone had a great time. My son loved it.

3 - 3.30 arrive
3.30 - 4 treasure hunt (treasure were lollies, play dough, bubbles, water baloons, balloon helicopters, masks.
4.00 cake (then grandparents and adult family could leave)
4.15-4.45 Water balloon fight. (time for sugar to wear off)
5. hot dogs and pizza scrolls for kids.
5.15 pass the parcel and then chicken skewers for the parents
5.30-6 home time. gave families a large takeaway containers of pasta salad to take home. Kids took their prizes home in noodle boxes.

This year I made the cake, the $40 i saved I spent on dinner for guests. Yes,$40 or more for an iced and personalised cake in Australia!