Alice, I Don't Want Wedding Gifts, Can I Just Ask for Cash?

Alice, I Don't Want Wedding Gifts, Can I Just Ask for Cash?

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Ask Alice
Jul 28, 2015
(Image credit: Shutterstock / Allard Laban)

Dear Alice,
My significant other and I are getting married, and will be moving 3,000 miles across the country a few months later. We are desperately trying to downsize our belongings in order to minimize moving costs. How do we handle a wedding registry? The last thing we want is more items to move, and honestly we already have all of the possessions we need. Non-material gifts would be better for us. I don’t feel comfortable directly asking for any gift (I’m Southern and so are many of my guests), but to be blunt: any money donations would be greatly appreciated to help offset moving costs. This is a potentially awkward topic— how do I approach this without offending my guests?
Signed, Nomad Newlywed


Dear Nomad,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and move. Phew, lots of life changes for you!

Now, let’s talk registry. I hear you that you don’t want to haul a bunch of goods you don’t need across the country nor can you just ask outright for cash.

But what is a registry anyway if not a way to guide your guests towards the gifts that would be most useful to you and your spouse as your start your new life? For you two, that’s cash money, baby!

I suggest you use a site like Honeyfund – it let’s you register for things you need instead of material gifts. Many people use it to register for hotels, dinners and experiences on their honeymoon, but you can customize it for your situation too. I’m sure your guests are all privy to your moving plans and won’t blink an eye when they find that instead of silverware you’ve asked for help with your movers and flights. Even traditional Southerners will surely understand your very non-traditional circumstances.

I’m sure you know that it’s considered bad form to include where you’re registered on your invitations (lest it look like you’re asking for gifts) but feel free to include it on your wedding website if you have one or tell people when they ask.

Good luck with everything and congrats again!

Love,
Alice

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