Alice, Is It Weird to Have a "House Warming" Party Somewhere Other Than the New House?

Alice, Is It Weird to Have a "House Warming" Party Somewhere Other Than the New House?

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Ask Alice
Feb 1, 2016
(Image credit: Shutterstock / Allard Laban)

Dear Alice,

A friend purchased a home for herself. She has never been married and has no children. I offered a house warming party/shower of sorts but she does not want people getting the new home dirty. Her mother said we need to have the "house warming" somewhere other than her daughter's house. I think this is poor taste. Am I wrong?

Signed,
Where to host?

Dear Host,

Your "I'm right" t-shirt is in the mail!

My presumption is that your friend's mother wants to facilitate the giving of gifts, presumably home goods, to her daughter which is why she would suggest having a party somewhere other than the new home. I know having housewarming parties with the expectation of receiving gifts for "setting up home" is a norm in some circles, but I'm not a fan. To me, a housewarming is an opportunity to share your new home with family and friends. If they happen to bring you a gift, great. If they ask if you need anything for your home, feel free to suggest something. But gifts shouldn't be the primary motivation for a housewarming party. So the idea of having this party anywhere other than the new home is strange to say the least.

Your friend has the right not to open up her home to others, but there shall be no party. If close family and friends want to help her fill the gaps of home goods she is missing or just send on a congratulatory gift to mark the occasion, they should feel free. As nice as it is of you to offer to host something for your friend, you've gotta fight for your right to not party.

Love,
Alice

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