Alice, My Friend Called My House Dirty

Alice, My Friend Called My House Dirty

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Ask Alice
Apr 24, 2017
(Image credit: Shutterstock / Allard Laban)

My boyfriend (we've been together three years) and I moved into a new house six months ago. My best friend of twelve years has a one-year-old baby and is leaving the father to come live with us. She has no money of her own, so my boyfriend and I were quick to lend a helping hand by letting her and her baby stay in our second bedroom. It's only for a few months until she saves up enough money from her new job to get her own place.

Of course our house is clean, but it's apparently not up to "new mommy clean" — she just moved in today and is already saying she needs to do a deep clean. As a woman in my own home, this hurt me to think that my house was "too dirty" for her (when I had just cleaned!). Of course we do have a new puppy that is still potty training, but you can't help that. Did I do the right thing by letting her live with us or am I going to regret it? Or how do I cope with her telling us we are "dirty"?

I wish someone was offering to deep clean my home...

But, you're a good and generous friend, and this sounds like a difficult and charged situation for everyone. I imagine your friend is overwhelmed with a lot of emotions, including gratitude, and those feelings might be coming out in strange and unexpected ways — ways that may be coming across to you as offensive and hurtful. But offering to do a deep clean of your house might be her way of trying to be useful to you, or to assert to herself that she's a responsible mom. Or both. Or something else altogether. I'd say just take her up on the offer, and then let it go (and hope that this really is just for a couple months, for everyone's sake). Good luck to all of you!

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