An Imagined Life: An Unfortunate DIY

All used items come with a story to tell. We only need to lean in and listen.

Well, this is just great. Whose idea was this anyway? Does a normal person look at a taxidermied mammal and a bottle of beer and think they'd work perfectly together as a...a...?

I don't even know what I'm supposed to be?! A bookend? A paperweight? This is unbelievable.

There are so many things wrong with this. I mean do you see my tail? It's obscene! Just because I'm stuffed doesn't mean I don't have feelings or a reputation to protect. I highly doubt they'd attempt these shenanigans with a pheasant. Armadillos are just sooo hilarious, aren't we?

I am absolutely horrified...

Do you even care to know what I find to be the worst part of this whole atrocity? It's the beer - a Lone Star! I have to spend eternity sniffing the open end of a...a stale brewery. I don't even drink beer!

I mean they couldn't have thought up a decent arrangement involving a nice glass of Chianti? Of course not, that composition wouldn't have been quite so funny. No, that wouldn't have mortified me nearly enough.

Other Imagined Lives:

Toy Cabinet

The King's Throne

Basement Chair

Comments (15)

I love these posts. Where does this dude live?

ok, I'm originally from Tx. (no, I never had something like that) and that little dude WOULD drink beer- just not that swill. He'd be drinkin a Shiner Bock.

I live in Texas. People who drink Lone Star would probably have that in their rec room. Shiner drinkers have a little more taste.

AND YOU seriously believe this is any worse than a lot of entries for this contest? God that "turnable inspired table" is much worse than this. At least this takes some skill. Mind you, this IS horrible and distasteful... and tacky; but take it back to 1853 and they'd think it was a classic. Makes you wonder.

Try looking at it as an allegorical conceptual sculpture. "Outsider art" if you will. I think through this lens it could be interpreted as a pretty keen statement about the Bush political agenda.

From TX...this is tacky and everywhere there. I guess if you are in NYC it is "art".

Shiner Bock is tasty.

Mmmm, Shiner.... but seriously. What is this?

I'm pretty sure this isn't a DIY - you can buy these and things like them at any number of gift shops in the south west. Actually, I think they're kind of awesome (full disclosure: I'm Texan by marriage).

Hey guys. So Texas folk definitely prefer Shiner Bock as the true Texas beer. However, to explain this little ditty combo -- back in the early 80's Lone Star ran a series of commercials about a giant armadillo running amok drinking all the Lone Star beer. The tag line was "I know about the Armadillo!" They actually were pretty funny as it hit the Texas venacular dead on.

So I'm betting this little piece of ... um .... folkart (?) was actually tied to that marketing campaign. And yes, folks hate to tell you , if the armadillo came from Texas it WOULD drink beer. It's a requirement of the state. (Can folks buy a Lone Star outside of Texas?)

Wait, are those spider webs, or does that armadillo have armpit hair?

It must come from the same factory where they make jackalopes and singing bass on a plaque.

c'mon, doesn't this prove we need our own atp. therapy site? There's plenty of room up there after 'chicago' for 'austin'

With no representatives in the south folks are judging us by what they find in northern antique malls and W. Bush, egaads!

and that thing HAS to be from texas...
http://www.awhq.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armadillo_World_Headquarters

and it should be drinking a Shiner ;)

I photographed this guy at Eclectiques Antique Mall in Columbus OH. Judging from all the TX comments, it sounds like he's a long way from home.

Here's more info on the shop:
http://www.insiderpages.com/b/3719614089

When I was a kid in TX I saw a dead armadillo on the side of the road and someone had put a beer can in his grip, just like this.