An Imagined Life: An Unfortunate DIY

An Imagined Life: An Unfortunate DIY

Jessica
Jan 24, 2008

All used items come with a story to tell. We only need to lean in and listen.

Well, this is just great. Whose idea was this anyway? Does a normal person look at a taxidermied mammal and a bottle of beer and think they'd work perfectly together as a...a...?

I don't even know what I'm supposed to be?! A bookend? A paperweight? This is unbelievable.

There are so many things wrong with this. I mean do you see my tail? It's obscene! Just because I'm stuffed doesn't mean I don't have feelings or a reputation to protect. I highly doubt they'd attempt these shenanigans with a pheasant. Armadillos are just sooo hilarious, aren't we?

I am absolutely horrified...

Do you even care to know what I find to be the worst part of this whole atrocity? It's the beer - a Lone Star! I have to spend eternity sniffing the open end of a...a stale brewery. I don't even drink beer!

I mean they couldn't have thought up a decent arrangement involving a nice glass of Chianti? Of course not, that composition wouldn't have been quite so funny. No, that wouldn't have mortified me nearly enough.



Other Imagined Lives:

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