All used items come with a story to tell. We only need to lean in and listen.
I was hella' excited when they brought me home from that thrift dump. I didn't match nothin' but they picked me up solo-style so I was psyched.
And then they bust out the spray paint. I got it pretty quick that these wizards didn't love my country stylz; they just needed a cheap chump for their master plan. I mean, I'm down with the Cubs just as much as the next chair but do you gotta paint a kitchen set to show the love? So at first I was like, "Hell no," but then I was all, "Okay, I'm a team player en shiz..." You shoulda' seen the table though; he was wicked pissed.
So, yeah, there I was at season opener, blue but popular with the ladies, if you know what I'm sayin'...
So it was cool for a minute. I was startin' to feel like the life of the party (Go Cubbies!). But that was before these brain surgeons decided I'd make a good place for a keg stand. I mean, I work out and all that but even my guns can't handle a pile of unbalanced A-holes using me as a bench. So duh, yeah I broke! I almost spilled the keg but I'm a trooper, buddy. I hung in.
Instead of fixin' me up though, here I am - out in the alley. They're upstairs, prolly' watchin' the game...
Ah, screw it, bro. At least they put me in the sun.
To find this #1 fan, go here:
the alley, northwest from Thorndale and Magnolia
Photo: Sports Logos Screensavers