For a large portion of young city dwellers, roommates are simply a fact of life. The high cost of living in urban areas often necessitates a shared living situation to (somewhat) slow the rapid drain of cash from your pockets. But for some, that reality has gone beyond finding a decent person who'll pay his/her rent on time; instead, it's become a search to form a modern commune.
The New York Times recently wrote an article about two such people: Mariel Berger, 28, and Harmony Hazard, 24, who put an ad on Craigslist advertising for roommates interested in "permaculture, living sustainably, gardening, dancing, hula hooping, yoga, herbalism, making music, active listening, non-violent communication..." Their ideal was to create a sort of family in the city, a group home or collective that is less about money and more about community building. It's definitely a throwback to the 1970's commune model, except these groups "are tiny, urban-centric and linked to outside interests like fixing bikes or, here in New York City, membership in the Park Slope food co-op."
Apparently, communes and collectives have been noticeably on the rise in recent years as there's been an increase on cleaner, lighter and more sustainable living, which includes the desire to find or build a community of people who share your values. Laird Schaub, executive secretary of the Fellowship for Intentional Community, points to "an ever-increasing level of dissatisfaction with traditional lifestyle choices, because there’s too much alienation and lack of connectedness. Humans are inherently social animals, yet we don’t particularly know how to get along with one another.”
Read the whole article at The New York Times.
What do you think? Have you ever or are you currently living in a commune or collective? What is your experience of it?
(Images: BDonline; Below image: This Magazine)
Originally published 2009-10-01 - CB
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Comments (25)
The idea of living in a community is not an old one, it's been going on for centuries and just makes sense! If you want to live a sustainable lifestyle while helping others, it's perfect as well! A great community in Philadelphia called "The Simple Way" is the perfect example of this!
I have a few friends here in Montreal pursuing the same ideal, and it definitely works for them. But lets get serious - there is a limit on these kinds of living arrangements. Eventually most people pair off and all my punk, anarchic friends living in these hipster communes will inevitably want some space of their own without having to consult the collective for every decision. I think there is something incredibly comforting and supportive about this lifestyle, especially in big cities when you are often cut-off from family and other traditional support structures, but I'm not convinced its sustainable in the long term.
I've always had a fantasy of buying a huge plot of land in the country and parceling out acres to friends. I think this kind of "this land is my land, that land is your land" mentality can ultimately be a much more durable version of this ideal, because it allows you to feel a part of a community while fostering some degree of daily independence.
Agree with Heatherbelle.
As nice as this idea sounds, I went through enough roommate situations in college to know that eventually you get sick and tired of seeing Joe's dishes all over the place and that your decoration style will always have to be dumpster dive potpourri.
I like living with just my boyfriend. I can better control how much water, electricity, food and resources are used and spent. Big groups get tricky. But if you can make it work, more power to you.
I also I agree with Heatherbelle. There are some people in my community who do live/have lived very communally, and eventually even the people you'd think would live that way forever have paired off and gotten their on spaces. There's certainly nothing wrong with that lifestyle, it just seems that eventually (and very naturally) people move on to another lifestyle.
I've toyed with the idea of a more communal style existence as I'm looking at a house in my urban neighborhood that's for sale. I think a lot of it has to do with having the right mix of people that will create the right dynamic for the community.
My family recently moved into the city center, and the coffee shop across our back lane (called Common Grounds, serving organic, fair trade coffee and a lot of things made with spelt) is owned and run by a small, religious commune. They're not HYPER-religious, and they little pamphlet they hand out makes allusions to communal living being like a beehive, and somehow or other having something to do with religion, but on the whole they seem pretty laid back. My general understanding is that they're a loose collection of Hutterites and ex-Hutterites (who are kind of like the amish and kind of like mennonites, except they live in communes), who've sort of drifted back together.
They're interesting to watch, but I really doubt it's the life for me, as I'm not really particularly social. Still, I think there's a lot of merit in people banding together and sharing expenses.
I lived in a 20 person co-op in Chicago for several years, and it was fantastic. OBVIOUSLY it's not for everyone. Most co-ops aren't the cleanest spaces due to the number of people living in them and differences in standards. This is to be expected.
But the cooperative housekeeping is incredible. I only cooked once every 3 weeks and had a healthy, homecooked meal every day. I tended to our garden, while others cleaned my bathroom and the kitchen. And the friends I made there are still very dear to me.
I do think that there can be cooperative living arrangements that are more suitable to older folks... spaces that give more personal space/time and that have higher standards for cleanliness. These spaces do exist and they're worth considering if community is very important to you.
Oh- and believe it or not, it's much easier to live with 20 people than 1 or 2 roommates. If you don't like someone.... you just avoid them. And there are mechanisms in place to deal with people who don't do their share of the work. It's really not at all like a typical "roommate" situation.
Oh man, igurl, where can I find places like this? I like with 8 people, and it was awesome. The key for me, was each person had their own bathroom (where the biggest cleaning fights happened), we had a dishwasher, and a bi-monthly maid. I'd love to try your approach!
Jessipants- 8 people and they each had their own bathrooms? Sounds great!
Well the more student-y co-ops are easy to find via www.nasco.coop (anyone can live there, not just students but the population is usually mid-20s) but if you're looking for something more 'adult' then it's harder to find. Lots of them are buy-in co-ops meaning you're basically purchasing a condo but in a space that's usually rent controlled and where you're expected to socialize with the neighbors. For example: http://hubcoop.org/
Living in RV parks has taught me to appreciate communal living at the expense of privacy. I get to live in places with amenities I couldn't afford on my own (eg. pool) and the RVing community is such that I have no qualms asking a neighbour if I can borrow something I don't have (eg. a tall ladder). I love the potlucks, the social activities, the little old ladies available to catsit, and the advantage that comes from being the young one on site--being expected to be available to help with physical chores in exchange for baking. This beats my acre in the woods with no neighbours any day.
I love this thought. I am only 24 and have always wanted to live this way. Having kids so young (I was 17!) and knowing what I had to do to keep my kids safe and warm, and away from state custody, I just never did it. I remember hearing about it as a kid. My father once lived in one in the 70's. It sounds more able to do it today. With the great things that are out there.
I also live in Montana. There are many 20 acre spots for no more then $24k. It would be a great way to get going. Just money is always tight when you have kids! GRRR, maybe someday I will get that dream.
TravelingRae, I love it. I would love the RV thing too. I am the kids of person to help for the cause of baking too. I have done that all my life. Growing up there wasn't alot, so we did what we could by other odd little jobs. Food, money, or things were givin in payment. What a great idea there with the Rving. Good luck on future travels!
I love privacy
I love clean spaces
I love not having to share all of my things I worked hard for
And for people with kids - how in the world could this be safe? the world is full of sick freaks out there - beware.
wow, HauntedStudio, I'm so sorry you live alone in fear.
It's not fun being selfish and isolated.
There is a movement in the western world that started 30 years ago in Denmark, called Cohousing.
Not just hippies and unmarried students, cohouser's argue that cohousing is for all types of people regardless of income or stage of life. (and it's great for kids!)
There are wealthy and low-income communities, rural and urban, detached homes and apartment buildings.
It's gaining in popularity in North America as well, since people are tired of not knowing their neighbors.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cohousing
jac - we can be friends :-D and no I am social and happy
I often joke that I grew up in a commune, being from a family of seven children and growing up on a farm. As a grown-up, as long as I had a private bedroom, I'd be cool with commune living.
My husband and I would love to buy a larger home and open it up to another couple and/or a few single people - not to rent out rooms, but to intentionally live in community for at least 2-year terms.
Sure, some people will move on, but pooling your time, energy, childcare, cooking, energy consumption, etc. makes a ton of sense.
And we're certainly heritage/restoration aficionados, as well as appreciating contemporary design. "dumpster diving" (unless it's scouring curbs for antiques to be refinished!) is hardly our style.
I lived in a casual co-housing situation for a number of years, and the advantages were phenomenal. We all had our private space, but we shared communal areas and various household resources. It makes no sense to me to have my own set of tools, kitchen gadgets and other objects when these things are so easy to share. We've now moved to Oaxaca, but I think I will try co-housing again someday.
I lived in a housing co-op through university. It was an exercise in diplomacy. We had little to no control over who was placed in what houses and I ended up living with some real doozies.
Nothing's worse than having to constantly deal with the one or two people who just refuse to do their part. And why is it their part is inevitably something really important like taking out the garbage or cleaning the sinks?
I used to live in a formal co-op for 3.5 years - an amazing experience! Our house "Sunset House" (NOT a retirement community) was part of a non-profit network the Evergreen Land Trust. Now I'm applying the consensus building decision making lessons to a stacked flat duplex my husband & I purchased last year with my best friend & her partner. It's going great so far! We share the back yard http://craftscafe.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/back-yard-project/
& basement, split all structure & yard related expenses in half & prioritize house maintenance and finances during monthly meetings. Honestly, we could not afford to live within the city limits had we not decided to live under one roof. & none of us wanted to spend hours in a car each day commuting to our jobs.
I don't think I can do the rooomate/commune thing, but check out the film Together (it's Swedish or something). It is hilarious, yet serious at the same time.
I live in a very communal urban house share with five others, including my girlfriend, plus a bunch of chickens. It's fun, but sometimes can feel a little claustrophobic and when my gf and I move out I'm looking forward to having more privacy - we end up eating out quite a lot so that we can be alone without being in bed, and it would be nice to be able to be just the two of us more often.
One day, we plan to all live on a ranch together, but with separate front doors, not quite communal, but a real community.
I think igurl's situation sounds like the best way to do this, for me at least. With that many people, you can institutionalize the community guidelines and have more of a mini-democracy.
Love love my communal living situation. I am renting the "master bedroom" of huge house in neighboorhood lined with Victorian and pre-war houses. Across the street I have a small park with a fountain. I have my own bathroom and a closet was converted into a great shower. I pay $550/month with utilities included. My only extra expense is my cable modem. The kitchen has top of the line appliances and I have full access to all common areas including a great deck with grill.
I would never have been able to afford this on my own and still live in Massachusetts if it wasn't for communal living. We never had a lot of problems with cleaning chores. If I think something's dirty, I clean it and the other housemates do the same. It helps that we're all pretty laid back and put the money savings above our own personal quirks.
I made a commune out of my urban house that has been great for me, and most of the others. The group has varied from five to 22 due mainly to Land Use busts (more than five is illegal). The present crowd of ten or so has been here eight years without turnover. There has never been a meeting, there is no work requirement, rent is $80 a month for people with a room, no cost otherwise. It requires a certain kind of emotional openness to live this way, but given that, it's wonderful; and I could not cope with conventional isolation myself.