Last weekend I headed out for dinner and drinks with friends. I was on my bike and had made it about a quarter of the way to my destination (at a good pace) when I realized I had for forgetten my phone. I could turn back, and be late for dinner, or I could spend the night without my phone… it was a tough call.
I thought about it, and after a busy week of work I opted to leave the phone behind. Sure, I wouldn't be able to call or text anyone to make or adjust plans. I'd have no way of sharing pictures of my foodie adventures, and no way of knowing what important emails were pilling up in my inbox (on my first night off in a week). But I decided to forget about all of those things and spend the night completely offline.
I know what you're thinking: why is this significant? A few years ago, people got by without smartphones just fine. I remember my first pager, my first Nokia cell, and my first smartphone, and at each step thinking, how did I ever live without this? SInce then it's become this constant connection, really something I'm dependent on. When my smartphone is not with me I feel anxious, like either I've lost the phone (because it's never not in my pocket) or that somehow I'm missing out on something.
It's unusual and somewhat disturbing to me how habits I've formed using my smartphone have become so ingrained. As the night progressed, I kept catching myself grabbing for my phone to tweet an interesting conversation point. A strange impulse, and with no means to satisfy it I was left questioning what need it actually served to be always broadcasting my thoughts. Is it not enough to just think or say something clever or poignant and move on?
We were out at a fun restaurant I enjoy quite frequently called the Imperial (in Ottawa, Canada's capital city). The food is great, and the walls are adorned in genuine vintage B-movie posters. I'm a big fan, and in fact I'm there so often that I'm well on my way to Foursquare mayorship. I thought about how I missed out on the check in; the oportunity to let my friends know I was out should they care to stop in, the opportunity to earn a badge, to gamify my life. Do I really need to check in somewhere to prove I was there?
Out on my bike, in the city, I love the mobility of being able to ride from one location to another quickly. I'll take any opportunity when something comes up in a different neighborhood, just for the opportunity to ride. I had no texts, no Foursquare to see if my friends had checked in somewhere cool, and no Facebook events to see what venues were offering something interesting (and different from what I was doing) to check out. I felt stuck or even trapped somehow. What about the people I was with, the event I was sharing with them? Does it really matter what else is going on?

Even in casual conversation, my phone was missed, as I'm always first to try and trump an argument with a quick Google search. What was the name of that actor? What was that movie? Who wrote that book? There was a time where I would win arguments by the merits of my knowledge and experience alone. Sure, I might have been wrong more often then not, but it says something about how human conversation is evolving. When a quick Google search can end an argument or provide more insight on a conversation than just talking it out, what does it say about our ability to discourse? Thankfully, Google hasn't (yet) built algorithms to synthesize all this data into poignant analysis, in which case there may come a day where we just set up two cell phones to argue with each other; Android vs. Apple.
Now don't read this the wrong way, I love technology. I owe so much of what I do and enjoy to the access to information that growing up on the web has afforded me. And despite all my waxing philosophical on the topic, I don't really lament the effect carrying a smartphone has on my life. It's just one of those thing where in noticing the absence of something, you notice your dependance on it. Though I felt alienated in some ways, I also felt unencumbered. Free from my inbox, my notifications and my checking in, enjoying the company of those around me felt more natural. I remember seeing others entrenched in texting while walking down the street and felt oddly satisfied that I wasn't.
It's something to consider: next time you have a night out, consider leaving that phone behind. Make plans with someone, stick to it, and pay attention to them and the people and places around you. If you think to share your amazing diner as a photo Instagram, discuss your meal with the person across from you instead. Perhaps you might strike up a conversation with the waiter, the chef or even another patron about how you enjoyed your order. Love the atmosphere in a restaurant or bar you're at? Why not save that little tidbit for the next time someone asks you for a good recommendation of where to go out in your city? And if you get into an argument with someone, stick to what you know, or just ask more questions. Bring the people around you into it and see if you can avoid a Google search to prove yourself right (or wrong).
In my case I did this unintentionally, leaving my phone at home as a matter of circumstance, but it did get me thinking. If a notification chimes in an apartment and no one is there to check it, does it even make a sound? As busy as my digital life has become, I may consider going without more often, if anything just to really engage the world in front me. As much as I love being an uber connected denizen of the 21st century, it's also important I not let my social networking supplant that deep need for real human interaction and experience.
(Images: Sean Rioux, Gregory Han)

Stanley Console by ...
perhaps a middle ground is to turn your phone completely off while you're out. that way if you do need something crucial ("I'm really late!") you have it, but you'll think twice about waiting 30-60s to turn it on just to check-in
@MORGANTILEY: I often consider the same advice you recommend (turn off the phone). But then one has to consider the reality that many of us have become accustomed to checking the device if it's there, even when we say we will not. It's sort of like having unhealthy snacks in the house vs. clearing out the kitchen of temptation.
I think most of the time, we'd all be fine leaving our phones at home occasionally, just like our parents and those before them got by.
Its always amusing to see a table of people, each with their head down over their phone tweeting, facebooking, checking messages etc and not interacting with each other.
Sometimes I wish it were possible to have two phones linked to the same number - my usual smartphone that I need for work and sometimes play, and a simple handset that just has a phone function,. Something that I could use to send or recieve a phone call about being late, or to call for an emergency but had none of the email, facebook, foursquare, instagram funtions that siren call us to ignore our dining companions.
Just my 2 cents worth.
I often leave my cell at home. Especially if I am out to spend time with specific people. I want to enjoy their company, not be interrupted with texts asking me "Wazup?" What is so funny is how bent out of shape people get when I don't answer the phone! Later, I am interrogated! "Hey! I called your cell but you didn't answer. Where were you?"
Huh?! WTF! It's none of your business!!!
There WAS life before cell phones! (Hey, a "cell" phone is like a jail "cell"- you are basically imprisoned by that little black box! LOL!)
I quite enjoyed this read. I am guilty of some traits but that will surely change in practice. I don't do foursquare, and don't instagram often, but I do take pictures of my food (not that it's a bad thing). You pointed out some interesting points, especially the notion of instant gratification and shorter attention spans due to smartphones - it's contagious. Thanks for the reminder, we don't have to be wired all the time.
This brings up the question of why have a smartphone at all? If we need to leave at home every time we go out then what use is it? Should we go back to dumb phones?
I think we just need to learn to adapt and discipline better. Learn how to change your habits (even though that is very difficult for humans in general).
-go in to silent mode
-uninstall apps that are useless
-try to build up streaks of not using your phone while you're out (seinfeld calendar?)
Maybe I am one of the people who have a "dumb phone"? Not sure. My phone makes & takes calls. It also has text which was a big splurge in that it's free with my new plan. I've rarely text-ed anyone in the 6 months that I've had it. My phone doesn't take fotos. It doesn't tell me where I am or where I'm going. It doesn't tell me which restaurant has the best rating. I can't watch videos on it. It doesn't tell me how many calories are in my meal. It doesn't have games, rides, or a petting zoo. It's a phone. It does what phones were meant to do. If I need to ask how many calories are in the piece of cake then I shouldn't be eating it in the first place. If I have to ask my phone where the heck I am then I shouldn't have left the house. None of that stuff was needed before the invention of "smart phones". The phones are designed to make one THINK that they need all that info & technology. It's a sad commentary on our species when our phones are "smart" but our populace are too dumb to read a map or a review in the paper. OR just go to the movie & find out for yourself if it's good or not! Trust your OWN brains & judgement. Why have a little commuter dictate your every movement?!