From my research, I don't believe a tree will grow with human ash but aside from that, I do perfer the options you posted.
I want to be cremated when I'm gone and ashes dispursed. I've always thought cemetaries were wasted space however I do perfer them over high rises--I would love to see more parks.
I do understand that some need a place to visit their love ones so it's all about what comforts the living after one is gone I guess.

I looked into this recently with the death of a loved one this past spring. I had the common misconception that it is illegal to bury an body that is not embalmed. It is legal in every state. There are some new cemeteries that allow you to bury the body in whatever way you want - without a coffin, wrapped in a shroud, in wicker basket-casket. The coolest place I saw was in South Jersey called Steelmantown Cemetery. It has been around since 1700. Check out the pictures on this link. http://www.steelmantowncemetery.com/index.html In the end we did go with cremation. Despite the environmental hazards, it was what our loved on wanted and we decided to respect his wishes.

I love the idea of the urns designed to become part of a reef, but it still seems to require the standard not-so-environmentally-great cremation.

I first heard of green burials from Six Feet Under. Had never thought about it before, but it is the way to go (so to speak, hehe).

I discovered this website recently and absolutely love it - Caitlin Doughty, a mortician/writer with a sense of humor. Her videos are hilarious.

http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com

There is an "green burial" cemetery out near Joshua Tree National Monument where you can be buried where the graves are hand dug and you can be shrouded in as little as paper if you wish. For me, it is a bit comforting to know that after a while my body will decompose to nothing and not be some crypt-keeper-like mummy.

Joshua Tree Memorial Park: Green Burial

I already own a burial plot next to the ones my parents own. Since I have no children it is important to me to be memorialized in some way next to my parents. My body will be prepared at the local funeral home and buried in a casket. The thought of this ritual occurring just as it did for my great-grandparents and my grandparents is comforting to me.

I want to be an organ donor, and whatever is leftover can be disposed of any way they like, probably cremation. (It might use a lot of energy, but it's better than spreading contaminants into the ground water. Hopefully all the green cemeteries out there are in appropriate locations to avoid that.)

When my Dad died we had what we called The Egyptian Burial. We had a church funeral, but not a formal burial. Instead, it was only the family. We put the container with his ashes in his old fishing tackle box, which my brother had decorated with painted fish years before. Into the box we put lots of stuff from all of us: a poem, a couple of letters, his army medals, some agates from the beach by our summer home, seeds for all his favorite plants, a small toy, a picture from one of the grandkids, etc.

At the cemetery the family, including cousins etc, stood around his grave, I read a poem I wrote, my sister read a letter, we talked about each of the objects going into the tackle box. Others read favorite passages from the bible, and then we sang lots of songs we had sung growing up - some hymns and some old favorites, some silly songs.

Then we put the tackle box, containing all this stuff, into the ground ourselves. We borrowed a shovel from the cemetery staff who were waiting nearby to complete the burial in standard practice, and we filled in the hole ourselves, taking turns, throwing in more seeds from wild flowers we loved. Then we all went to The Olive Garden, a place he loved, and had a meal.

It was an intensely personal and mostly unplanned 'ceremony' and it could not have been more perfect. It honored my Dad and consolidated the affection shared by everyone left behind.

He was buried in a family plot, which we found very comforting in quite deep and complex ways. I so understand the issue about cemeteries being a waste of space, but I think it's also important to honor the web of relationships that connect people in the past and the present.

If you think of cemeteries as a specialized form of public park, they seem less wasteful. I prefer actual cemeteries with standing grave stones to the modern parks with the stones set into the soil, so it looks like an expanse of lawn. There's something moving about walking through an old cemetery and being reminded of all the stories of all the people there.

DULCIBELLA: You brought me to tears. Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man and he was blessed by having so many that loved him.
You inspire me.

I know a lot of people don't feel this way, but I personally don't care at all what happens to my body after I'm dead. Throw it in a landfill, for all I care. I realize what loved ones think is very important. I hope that the people around who love me when I die will do with my body whatever has the least impact on the world.

I have the ashes of several of my dogs. My wish is to be cremated, my ashes mixed the ashes of my dogs and sprinkled somewhere at the ocean.

My aunt died in NM in 2007, and the State required that I purchase minimal wood coffin for her cremation -- they would't just put her body into the incinerator and return the ashes. She wasn't embalmed or otherwise treated with chemicals at the city morgue, as far as I know. This whole thing cost me $3500. Burials are a big industry, and changing it will be like getting the car industry to move to electric battery powered vehicles.

I upended my aunt's ashes at the cemetery in Ft. Sumner, on Billy the Kid's grave, next to his headstone (which is surrounded by an iron fence because people kept stealing the headstone) I stuck a beer bottle in her ash pile and topped it with a lime. Wished her happy trails.

http://images1.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp343%3Enu%3D3233%3E872%3E672%3E23248727638%3A2ot1lsi

http://images1.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp345%3Enu%3D3233%3E872%3E672%3E2324872763898ot1lsi

a shovel & a bag of lime works for me

I'm already planning on it. I want a wake with plenty of liquor, a brief service the next day, and then plunk me in the ground. No embalming or anything.

Provided that I don't become a famous author and can afford to have my own burial ground, I've asked to be buried in a local nature preserve. They don't allow tombstones (just plant markers) and ask that you be buried either in a pine or biodegradable box. They also have a groovy historic church that they moved to the property for small services.

My husband is horrified that I don't want the pomp and circumstnace, but I hate the culture of open coffins and other nonsense.

I have a (possible irrational) fear of being buried alive. Also an extreme claustrophobic, the idea of being put in a box, or any small closed space, alive OR dead, gives me nightmares. I definitely want cremation, but I'm wondering if there is any way to prevent being put in a box, even temporarily. Anyone know?

Compost? Oh please god, no. I don't want tomatoes fertilized by grandma, that would just be wrong.

All my grandparents are buried in cemeteries. We all loved my grandparents, but nobody ever goes to the cemetery. We tried to go once to visit my grandfather's grave, it was when my grandmother was still alive and she is the one who wanted to go. We wandered around for half an hour before we could find it, then grandma took one look at it and said ok, let's go.

Being buried seems so passe. People move away, people remember in different ways.

@Dulcibella, that funeral sounds lovely. I'd vastly prefer that to the whole church service with the sad songs and ugly flowers and the passing by the casket. Yours seems more personal and appropriate to the loved ones.

I run RememberWell.net (http://www.rememberwell.net) and the focus is green burial and home funeral resources. You can sign up and save the stuff you like.

Dulcibella, what a beautiful post. Your Dad raised a great family.

I also appreciate this thoughtful article. I don't have any children so I've been looking into donating my body to science. I think that might be helpful to others. If my friends want to do something for me, I've already suggested them donating an ocean-side park bench in my beloved Asbury Park. If it washes away in the next hurricane, then I'll be part of nature in every way.

CanadianMango: I also want to be cremated and have my ashes and the ashes from my dog (she's still alive and well and the thought of her dying brings me to tears) scattered in the ocean.

For whatever reason, my family talks a lot about this (we're not particularly obsessive, but it seems to come up?). For myself, organ donation (if possible) then shroud + tree. Full-on wake, complete with a viewing of Star Trek II and the understanding that anyone who doesn't cry during Kirk's goodbye to Spock Will. Be. Haunted.

Personally, I am an organ donor and want whatever's left to be disposed of as easily as possible. Cardboard box or cremation, doesn't matter to me, as long as it's economical.

I do have a large amount of family (great grandparents, grandparents, cousins, etc.) buried in one cemetery. Other relatives are buried in small cemeteries in nearby towns. Every fall and spring, my grandmother and her sister make wreaths and silk flower arrangements for our dead. They take one day in December and one day in March to drive to all the cemeteries and freshen up the tombstones with the new arrangements. They personalize each arrangement too - a fishing pole for Grandaddy, red flowers for Granny, toys or pinwheels for the babies. I've been with them several times to put out their arrangements, and it's really interesting checking out the tombstones at some of the older cemeteries and listening to their memories of the dead. My dad's parents are buried in a different state, he's an only child, and there's nobody to tend their graves. It's kind of sad. I'd rather avoid that scenario for my son.

Everyone should plan their own sendoff with their personal choices and instructions of how they would like their disposition handled. There is no sense leaving these important decisions to family and friends in their time of grief. Easy way to document your final wishes at mysendoff.com

One way to green up the cremation process is to use an urn that creates new habitat for birds. They are scattering urns that convert into a memorial birdhouse and you can find them here. http://www.cremationsolutions.com/Scattering-Urns-Biodegradable-Urns-c2.html

My husband and I talk about this often, as neither of us wants to create an environmental impact (or we at least want to be as minimal and natural as possible). Good to think ahead (we are in our 30s) of the options. Mary Roach's book "Stiff" outlines a number of possible ways for disposing of bodies after death. My favorite might be biodegrading research where you are laid out in a field and monitored while you degrade.

One of my twin sons died in August... I would have like a green (composting material wrapped and deposited in the ground) burial if we had a home and could have dealt with the permits, etc.
Instead we cremated him. He was only 5 months old and died of SIDs—in order to have him always with us my husband and I chose locket urns that the funeral home filled with some ashes. Before all this I didn't know such a thing existed but I am glad that it does. I don't need a headstone because I can take him everywhere. I think that is a green solution over a traditional burial.