Good post! I totally agree.

You are wise. Life with a newborn is chaotic enough without all the extra 'stuff' to deal with. Keep it simple. You don't NEED anything that you don't already have. If, after the baby is born, you decide something will be useful, you can buy it then. Babies only stay infants for an incredibly short time. A lot of the stuff that people regard as 'essential' is really only good for a few months, at most.

That said, a place to put the baby that keeps it safe, happy and quiet, and maybe puts it to sleep, while you are doing other stuff, makes life much easier. There are about a million different gadgets that play music, hold the baby securely and swing or rock it. What works with your baby, will depend on the baby, so ask around and try to borrow it or get it second hand. It will be your best friend, but only for a few months.

Our first one would sleep through the night in a car seat the first three months then a swing the 9 months after that. Without those we would not of had a wink. Our Second one would not even sit in the swing, luckily she was a better crib sleeper, or we were better parents at that point. If you are getting offers for free second hand goods and don't want to deal with all the 'stuff' then don't take it in, there will be more offers when you need that stuff. The only must have are extra onesies.

We went through this seven months ago. You have everything you need.

There are, however, some things that might make your life easier. If you live in an urban setting, some sort of baby carrier and/or stroller might be nice, (we have a moby wrap, and recently caved and accepted a small stroller as a gift). We also have a vibrating bouncy chair, not for him to sleep in, but somewhere where he can be at home that's not the crib or in our arms. This allows us to do things like cook.

We let people know that we didn't want a lot of stuff, (it helps that we live in a small apartment and can say "we have too much already"), and if they were going to get us stuff, it should be used, if at all possible. We still ended up with a lot of stuff given to us, (tons of clothes, and rather a lot of small toys), but less than we would have otherwise, and I think we ended up with fewer, but more interesting, new gifts.

This is a good post. I ended up stressed out during my first child's babyhood because I felt like I had a part time job culling through all the stuff we got and taking it to be donated. The main thing we got WAY too much of was clothing, followed by toys (newborns and little babies don't need more than a couple if any).

However, one thing we didn't ask for and I sort of rolled my eyes at was a baby swing. Those things are huge! But it turned out to be a sanity-saver for a couple of months. My conclusion: all kids are different and it is really hard to tell what you are going to need. I wish it were traditional and satisfying to the giver to just give money. We didn't know we would want a swing and if space had been tight I might have given it away before it became useful. Then when it was useful it was GREAT -- but only for 2-3 months, then it was OVER.

For my son, I was fortunate enough to borrow most of the "extra" baby items (carseat, bath tub, swing, clothes, boppy, etc) from a good friend and only bought or received the minimum (crib, pack-n-play, bouncier, bottles and stroller). It was great and allowed us to only really purchase items that we figured out we need. For my daughter, I bought stuff second hand (my friend was having a little girl 3 months after me so I couldn't borrow like with my son) and reused a lot from her brother. We did end up buying a few more items like a second crib, bottle warmer and a second bottle drying rack which worked out well. I found that as long as I was clear with my thoughts and why, most people listened and followed what I asked regarding how much stuff they gave us.

Having a baby is exhausting and carting all that stuff around is even more exhausting.

A dad's tips:
-Pack and Play is too heavy and a pain to set up - it is not a portable crib.
-One stroller is enough. Try to get one that converts as the baby gets older.
-A car seat makes a good bed during the day.
-You don't need to put the baby in pajamas every time he or she needs to sleep. This saves time on changing and saves time on laundry.
-Only have enough bottles for one day. Otherwise you are stuck with a counter full of dirty bottles and an endless wash cycle.

Here is what worked for us: we took in the used stuff and and tried it with the kid. Any thing that didn't work was passed along to another baby.

Pre-baby, I never ever would have imagined my life would include a garish Fisher price swing and later a jumper. We intended all natural fibers and wooden toys. However, she loved the swing (she would not sleep without it) and the jumper is must have. I am so glad I gave them a try-- as it allowed me to pee in peace!

Been there, done that. :) The best thing to do I think is to not completely turn down hand me down offers until you have a better idea of what you need. Many of those items you mentioned are wonderful for a particular stage of babyhood - I love my moses basket for newborns, but then soon a exersaucer is the "she'll let me put her down for a sec here" location. I have all this stuff because I'm not done having kids, but I loan it out almost constantly so its not cluttering up my garage. All of it was stuff that in turn I had borrowed when my first or second child was small and realized really worked with my parenting style. Most stuff I was able to buy second hand or get as a gift. The real gear basics are somewhere to sleep (even if you co sleep you'll want at least a pack n play as a backup, just trust me on this), a car seat, and some kind of sling/carrier/stroller. Feeding depends on what you're doing of course, and clothes seriously can just be footed sleepers and bodysuits. Its great to wait to see what you need, but you probably will want some of those things eventually, so I wouldn't say NO emphatically, but, "can I let you know?" I'll stop now that I've written a book. Congrats on your little one! :)

We just had our baby five months ago and you are exactly right. The baby industry seems as corrupt as the textbook. You only need so few things! We got everything (and more than everything) we needed from second hand and gifts. People will give you things whether you ask or not.

All babies are unique souls that have been gifted to you. Our son loved the swing for three months, but cannot stand it now. We often hear "My son/daughter loved this (insert random toy that they try to give to you). But your baby may not care for it. Your baby is YOUR baby. You will know what your baby likes, but be open to trying things. A favorite toy, or much needed break can come from anywhere.

Have fun!

We were planning to keep it simple too. But now we have an amazing swing (she sleeps for the night in her crib but won't nap longer than 45 minutes in the day unless in her swing), a Jumperoo, a mini travel swing (saved our sanity on a recent trip out of town), a Moby Wrap, an Ergo, and an activity mat where she can bat at her toys for 20 whole minutes by herself! Unless you're planning on holding your baby 24/7, some of these extras can be sanity savers. You don't need to buy them until after the baby's born and you know what you'll need, but be prepared to change your mind on a lot of things. And know that's it's ok to end up doing something different than what you planned. Whatever works is fine!
Btw, we bought most of our stuff on Craigslist and are planning to sell them when the baby's done with them so we don't have to store them for the next one. By then, there will be newer and better stuff available on Craigslist for the same price!

Way to keep it simple! I laugh when I see everyone's responses to what's a "must-have"--they're all so different! So, good idea to keep it minimalist, then add whatever YOU feel you need when the time comes. Our babies have been just fine without a wipes warmer :)

The things I REALLY used with my kids are a Boppy nursing pillow, bath seat (then cheap bathmat to stop slipping) Medella Pump (wouldn't need if I didn't go back to work), carset, highchair, First Years umbrellaish stroller and Ergo baby sling. Snuggle nest/ co-sleeper/ crib were all expensive things my kids refused to sleep in. Never used the changing table much and swing/ pack & play were gifts that others thought we "needed" but just turned into clothes racks and toy holders. If your kids are early movers they will probably hate swings, exersaucers, jumpers etc so I would wait to see on that.

I just asked my best friends for input on what was crucial for their little ones. Then, we could weed out from there. I figure, if there is a gap in something that I decide later on I really need an item to fill the space, then there's always the internet if I'm too tired to go out and pick something up. Also, it helps that our family and friends live pretty far away and we're not doing the shower thing, that will help greatly to reduce accumulation of unnecessary stuff.

I wish we had kept it much more simple. Starting with basics is such a good plan. There were so many things that catered to our new parent ignorance and desire for the best technology that took advantage of us. In hindsight it's laughable how stupid some baby "must haves" are.

Ok but seriously, if you are having a boy and you don't relish the thought of accidentally getting pee in your mouth, go out and buy Peepee Teepees PRONTO.

The only 'must have' for us was a light weight car seat that clipped onto the push chair frame so I didn't have to wake the baby up when getting out of and into the car if she was sleeping. A good travel bag for parents with easily accessible compartments for wipes, nappies, bottles, etc. Can't think of anything else that's essential.

I am a stay-at-home mother of 3 kids (under the age of 5) and things can get pretty intense here! hehe... Having less stuff is good. very good. The more stuff you have = more picking up and less space to live in.
Do you have friends that had babies before you ? Hand me downs are perfect and free ! :-) If you don't need it anymore just give it back :)

All you need at first is the basics. Clothes, diapers, crib or something to sleep in and family. If you formula feed you need bottles and all that stuff. If you breast feed you just need a good cover.

I would recommend an inexpensive swing. Its a good place to pacify a baby while you go to the bathroom or take a bath or attempt doing the dishes.I had a compact travel swing that folded up. Made it nice to tuck away at night when I didnt use it and I could take it with me to my moms house. I didnt use a stroller until my son was about 1year. I used a wrap. I liked having my baby close to me in stores and I never had to struggle getting one of those bulky strollers in and out of the car. Oh but one extra I would have would be a boppy. Its a horse shoe shaped pillow. Its great for breast feeding and I have even seen women use them when they give a baby a bottle. They are great for tummy time too. Then they are great when the baby starts to sit up because they tend to fall back. The baby just sits in the U part and has a pillow behind them for cushion. Other than that I didnt even have a changing table or anything. I just had a fold up travel pad, I used on the bed or the floor. I know what you are thinking OMG the floor. Your baby will be on the floor alot. Its the safest place for tummy time and crawling ect. Your kid is going to spend alot of time on the floor until about age 5 and then they still roll on the floor. So its not that big of a deal. You dont need all that baby furniture. I had a used crib from my sister and I bought some expidit shelves from Ikea and some baskets for cloths. As he got older I put a closet organizer into my son's closet for all the clothes and we use the shelf for toys now. He doesnt even have a dresser.

Also a side note on those crib sets. They are stupid. Alot of the accessories that come with them like pillows and stuffed animals should not be in a babies crib. They are suffocating hazards. Also any bows or diaper organizers dangling from the crib is a no-no. The pastel colors your baby can not see. Babies cant see much for a while. They are like Mr. Magoo! So the light pale colors are just for you. If you want something stimulating to the baby pic something around the bold and bright of a primary color. I have a friend who is doing her soon to be babies room in rainbow rain drops. I am sewing the mobile now. So her baby will see the red and blue and yellow and orange because they are very bright.

@FIZZFIZZ

The peepee teepees dont work! Given to us, all they have become are peepee rockets when he does pee!

A diaper works much better.

The absolute most important thing you need is a good pair of breasts for the first 6 months. You also need a car sit (it's the law), diapers and clothes. Family and friends should give you money instead of other stuff and you can buy whatever you really need later. Congratulations!

I think it's useful to have, from the outset, a place to put the kid down safely. It could be a seat, a moses basket, a swing-type device, but kids shouldn't actually be in car seats a lot, so having something else is nice. Sure, you can put the baby on the floor even in the first few weeks, if you don't live somewhere cold where the floor is drafty. I haven't figured out how to avoid getting stuff you don't need, though, since it's not like you get a chance to test out equipment at the store. I've had two terrible sleepers, and I've tried bouncy seats and swings and all sorts of things to try to help them nap, but I had to buy those things to try them. They work for some people, never for me. I've always bought second-hand or borrowed.

I also like having a wrap, and again, different styles work for different kids and at different ages, and it's hard to know what will work before you buy.

The one thing I'm glad I bought for #2 was the $40 stroller frame so I could move the sleeping baby out of the car without having to take him out of the car seat. Had a regular stroller only for the first one, and regretted it mightily.

Everyone's experience is different. While I was overwhelmed with gifts and with hand me downs, I really appreciated all of them and they came in handy at one moment or another. I really wasn't up for researching the millions of available swings and bouncers AFTER the baby was born and I was getting no sleep. I was happy to have them on the ready and try them out. Yes, some of them worked better than others, but all of them came in handy, allowing me to take a shower, or make dinner, run to get the laundry in the basement, etc.

Congrats on the baby! Your basics list sounds good. A couple other things I'd include:

Lots of wash cloths. Say about 12-20. I found traditional "spit up cloths" to be wasteful; wash clothes were the right size for every imaginable mess.

At least two sets of fitted sheets for the crib mattress. We had more than a couple nights where we had to change the sheets more than once in the night.

If you're interested in infant carriers--particularly the kind for newborns-- wait until the baby arrives. There are so many different styles and it's better to road test it with your baby.

It really depends on the baby, your preferences, and what stage the baby is in. In my daughters year of life thus far we have done a variety of sleeping arrangements (bassinet, co-sleeping, crib in the same room, crib in her own room) depending on what her (and our) needs have been at the time. So I wouldn't be so quick to refuse the moses basket, a co-sleeper and so forth. But you won't know if you need them until the time comes that what you're doing isn't working and you need to try something different.

You are totally correct that babies don't need a lot of stuff. Particularly before they are born, when you don't know what their personal preferences and needs will be. The one recommendation I have is to get quality items - I went through about 5 baby carriers because I kept getting cheap ones that wouldn't last for a very long time (the Moby was nice when she was a newborn, but once she started to get heavier it was terrible. A ring sling was nice for a while, but again we have reached the point where she is too heavy). I resisted buying an Ergo because of their hefty price tag, but I finally bit the bullet and got one - I should have done it to begin with, and skipped the cheaper but shorter lived alternatives.

My brother has found a Pack 'n' Play to be very handy for all three kids. It's great to corral and amuse a wee one when you're attempting to cook or clean, it keeps the smallest safely out of foot traffic when you have company, and is GREAT when traveling. In fact, if your baby digs it, it will become invaluable when you visit relatives or go on vacation.

We are due any minute now, and also battle with stuff. People are very kind and have offered many items to us, but we opted to go for a less is more approach. With my son we had the swings, seats, pack n plays etc and never used them. So this time we opted to go without. The only big splurge purchase was a high end stroller that goes from infant to 50 lbs.

I had a c section, so a stroller was a must. I like the one that is a frame that holds the carseat.

I used one of the curved changing pads attached to a dresser, http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Contoured-Changing-Pad/dp/B001U9OUYC. I highly recommend one unless you are used to changing newborns.

We used the pack and play in our room for the first 2 or 3 months. It had a changing area and bassinet. It was close to our bed and I didn't have to bend to move him.

If you plan to breastfeed, then a boppy or other pad is nice. It wasn't easy for either my son or I in the beginning, so it was nice to have.

We got him a swing when he was a few months old. Otherwise he would not sleep in the afternoon.

Oh, I forgot. The largest swaddling cloths that you can find. My son was a large baby and would not sleep without being swaddled until he was 3 or 4 months old.

Great post! I totally agree.

I totally advocate playing it by ear.

I bought myself a really nice Quinny Buzz (secondhand but still expensive) before my daughter was born. In 18 months, she has ridden in it less than 5 times. Who would have known we were really baby-wearing parents? Carriers and slings are just so more convenient.

Good basic list. Another thing we couldn't do without was a Kelty backpack (when she got older). It was so much better than carrying her all the time, or using a stroller which isn't city friendly. I would also add caffiene. We needed lots of that because we got the hyperactive type model kiddo.

Best cloth diapers: Imse Vimse Organic AIOs.

Apart from that, the most useful item we had was a Bugaboo stroller. Travelled the world with, used it every single day for 5 years, and still sold it for more than half the original purchase price!

A cautionary note: it is disturbing to note that many parents still advocate putting babies to sleep in car seats. Research has shown that this is actually a dangerous practice and should be avoided, especially with young babies. In 2009, 2 babies dies as a result of being put to sleep in a car seat. As well, research has shown that young babies sleeping in sitting positions suffer from restricted oxygen flow as a result.

http://babyproducts.about.com/b/2009/02/06/babys-death-leads-to-warning-about-sleeping-in-car-seats.htm

http://news.health.com/2009/08/24/infant-car-seats/

It's true that kids need so little beyond love! That said, different kids really do respond to different things for comfort or stimulation, and it's really unpredictable.

My musts were: glider, crib, sling, diaper bag, high chair, travel system, a blanket that zips onto the carrier, Medela's microwave sterilizing bags, swaddling blankets (most receiving blankets are actually too small!), sleeveless sleeping bags for when they are too mobile to sleep swaddled, mesh feeders (great for teething, too), Dollarama's socks (the only ones that stayed on), and a billion terrycloth hand towels (as burp cloths). I also loved the boutique bibs and matching burp cloth sets (eBay) for going out - I wanted stylish bibs since they totally covered any cute outfits anyway!

I would avoid things like wipes warmers, bottle warmers, undershirts, crib bumpers (dangerous) and the whole matchy-matchy room set, any scented products (including scented butt creams), snack dispensers (spilled all over anyway). If you really 'need' scratch mitts, just put socks on their hands instead.

The teepees are more of a gag gift...If a boy has an erection when you want to change him, just switch out the diaper as fast as you can - don't bother wiping or using vaseline, because you don't have time! Also make sure the penis is pointing down when you fasten the diaper.

Good luck, and remember that the sleepless stage only lasts a few months (whew). Have fun!

I am absolutely cringing at the recommendation to let the baby sleep in the car seat when not in the car. This is very unsafe! When locked in the car seat base or stroller base, the car seat is kept at the proper angle for baby's windpipe. When not locked in, the baby can slump down, constricting the windpipe and leading to suffocation. I'll admit to letting my little one have the occasional car seat nap rather than waking her up upon arrival but this really should only be done under close supervision. A car seat is not safe substitute for a daytime sleeping location.

For me, a Pack and Play was an absolute necessity. I live in a two story home and have a large labrador. I had a c-section and could not carry my ten pound baby up and down stairs for the first month. And I couldn't leave her on the floor due to the dog. So I needed a safe space for her to nap or hang out for a few moments.

+1000 on waiting until baby is here to pick a carrier. LO HATED the moby and the sling. Loved the Chicco carrier as a bitty baby and now lovse the Ergo as 1 year old.

I would also add to not buy all your cloth diapers at once or at least make sure there is a good return policy. Different brands or styles fit different babies differently. You may also find that some are easier to wash or dry than others. Or that some are just more convenient than others.

We are due our first baby in a couple of months and it is staggering what some baby sites consider essential when you Google for advice.
I agree - each baby is different, so we haven't turned down any hand-me-downs yet but I will be quick to pass things on if they don't work after a few tries.
We also wanted to stay disciplined with stuff since we drive a small car that we love and plan to do road trips in, small child in tow, making us more stubborn about clutter control since most people's advice seems to be "get a bigger car".

I totally agree! We have found that in most situations you can use something you already have i.e kitchen sink as bathtub... dresser with pad as change table etc... The baby stage last for about a second...

Great point about the 2 sets of fitted sheets! Actually, a blackout shade for the baby's room was life changing as well, now that I think about it.

I agree you don't "need" alot of stuff... the caveat is for very long at a time . With only a 5 month old I am so glad we borrowed, bought used, were gifted a few things that are only a couple months of use. However they were USEFUL. Going to the bathroom with a crying baby is 100x more important than many things- also feeling peaceful and safe. Clutter can be annoying but letting things annoy you is just as bad. A baby carrier, a yes another place to put the baby besides a crib is key. Get it used or pass it on. Diapers also can be used- so doesn't have to be a big expense.

You have the right mindset - it's absolutely doable to keep things simple while being new parents. We are renovating our 100 year old house, and our nursery was completed about two months after our little girl was born (she wasn't early, the renos just took more time than expected!), and we didn't feel like we were missing out at all.

The only things we had when we came home from the hospital were a car seat, a co-sleeper in our bedroom, and some canvas bins that held her clothes, cloth diapers and wipes, receiving blankets, a Moby wrap, and a handful of toys that were gifts. You don't need a special bath mat, a towel or two in the sink works (towels on the bed also work just fine as a "changing table" as well); you don't need fancy burp cloths, we used our own washcloths and extra prefold cloth diapers for spit-up. That's all you really need in the beginning, especially if (like us) you plan on following an attachment parenting philosophy. For the first few months, we mainly held her for naps (although a soft blanket on the rug was fine for setting her down when I needed to run to the rest room), or used the Moby wrap when she was fussy and needed to be held while we did things around the house.

Of course since we have a completed nursery we've accrued a lot more stuff (our girl's seven months old now), like a crib, stroller, a jumper, an activity mat, a breast pump when I returned to work, etc. but all of them except the crib are all hand-me-downs that will be passed along when we're done with them, and we've accumulated them thoughtfully, based on what our girl has needed at the time.
Good luck!

i just want to chime in on the car seat (i can't help myself). we have two year old twins. we received, as gifts, both of our car seats - the combi cocorro. this seat goes from 5 to 45 lbs. we *never* had the bucket style car seat that snapped out. people said we were crazy and we caught all kinds of flack for it, but we did it for two reasons. first, we didn't want to buy four car seats within a couple of years - it's wasteful both in terms of materials and money. two, we figured the babes would learn to stay asleep during the transition from car seat to arms to carrier or indoors - and they did. i think we held our babes a lot more than a parent with an infant car seat does. we had to. i highly recommend going with a single car seat and skipping the bucket car seat, it's an unnecessary piece of equipment and your babe will do fine going from seat to moby wrap or carrier, trust me.

For my baby shower at work, I knew I didn't want more clothes or toys. I had the local women's shelter give a list of needed items, and had everyone bring things on the list. We made a big donation, and folks really thought it was a neat idea.

Well, one thing you *don't* need is a baby monitor. Babies have their own built in alarm system.
Someone will buy one for you anyway and you will be pressured to use it or be treated as bad parents. But you absolutely don't need it.
I once went to a party where the parents stuck a monitor on the coffee table with the adults and for a couple of hours, we had to listen to a 10 month old with a cold whole she snoozed away. The thing was cranked up to loud.
Helicopter parenting: it starts with monitors.

Also, if the baby's sleeping, it's perfectly ok to use the bathroom, take a shower or dash into the post office for stamps. As long as the tyke isn't old enough (or clever enough) to escape, it's unlikely to result in a catastrophe.
Yes, yes, I know everyone will tell you that you are a bad mother for expelling your umbilical cord but babies can be stressful without making you lug them with you when you have to take a pee or need to leave them alone for a second. You have to be Really negligent for something to go wrong.

Number One Rule of Parenting: Don't let others tell you how to parent.

What works for someone else, what someone else may swear by, may not work for you... and conversely, what someone else may say is a waste of money may end up being essential for you. Everyone is different and their needs/wants for their babies are different.

That being said, we never had a swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer, pack and play, etc. My son slept in his crib from the early weeks, learned to soothe himself without being rocked, we placed him on a blanket during the day when we couldn't hold him, etc. Of course, he was a pretty laid back baby,was great at entertaining himself, and slept very well, so we never bought or tried out any of the extra items that most of my friends have/had for their babies. You can certainly live without all of the "extras" -- we ended up donating or selling any the second hand ones we were given. And as our son grows up, we also don't buy or keep any of those toys that light up/make music when buttons are pushed. I can't stand the things and I'm sure my son will survive without them.

It all comes down to your parenting style, your personal believes/values, and your baby's personality. Do what works for you.

Pack 'n' Plays and baby carriers are life savers! I purchased a Baby Bjorn for my little guy when he was a month old and it was one of the best purchases I've ever made. It allowed me to do simple chores (i.e. cooking, laundry, washing the dishes) around the house while monitoring my baby, and it's great for all sorts of outings, such as camping trips, walks to the store, etc. It is also one of my little guy's favorite places to hang out because he can watch what I'm doing. Some mothers also like to use slings because they can nurse their baby while performing the aforementioned chores.

On that note, may I also recommend a breast pump and nursing cover if you plan on breastfeeding. The breast pump is great for promoting milk production and working out clogged milk ducts (if you ever have the misfortune of having one). A nursing cover will also allow you to feed anytime, anywhere. Granted, a blanket will work, too, but blankets have a tendency to fall down, while nursing covers have a neck strap that keep them securely in place. I also loved my Boppy for breastfeeding, but you can use a regular pillow, too.

I'm now 19 weeks pregnant for our 1st baby and I don't plan on buying everything like some couples do when they have their baby. One thing is that we don't have much space at our house and we don't have all that extra money, and I agree with some of the above that the baby only uses certain stuff for a short period of time. But as we're 1st time parents, I think we'll buy more stuff when we feel we really need along the way. To start with, however, I think we'll only buy the most necessary stuff first.

Love this article! You are right on that less can still be more, even as you add to your family. We borrow a lot of our stuff from friends... and then give it right back when baby grows out or stops enjoying it. Great job, and Congrats on your upcoming blessing.

Unfortunately I don't haved time to read through what everyone else has said so please forgive me if I am repeating someone else. If you are breastfeeding, the first few weeks to months, you are probably going to want to be sleeping in the same room as the baby. Maybe you wont, but I found it to be much more convienient. So that would mean either the crib in your room if you have room for it, your in the baby's room, or a secondary sleeper in your room such as a pack n play if the crib doesn't fit.

A lot of the other stuff people call "must haves" are really just a matter of personal preference I think and unfortunately it is hard to tell whether or not you will want/need these things until you want/need them. Fortunately in this day and age pretty much the day you decide you want something you can basically go out and have it within an hour or so, unless you are mail ordering some specialty or designer items you can wait on getting a lot of stuff until YOU have decided it is a must have. Of course this does not help if you are looking to put together a baby shower registry.

way to go!

how do you turn down unwanted gifts from insisting family members? i have yet to discover the magic phrase that will make them understand.

"why would you need bottles for a newborn? use your breasts woman!"

Um, because not everyone can breastfeed? Some people have serious supply issues, some people are on certain prescription drugs that prevent them from breastfeeding, some people have to go back to work two weeks after their baby is born at a job that doesn't allow a time and place to pump. I myself have breastfed both of my children, for a year the first time, and I'm at the 5 month mark with number two. But I'm well aware that I'm privileged in lots of ways. Women who can't breastfeed (or don't want to) shouldn't be made to feel guilty, particularly not on a freaking design site.

good plan! Babies barely need anything. And the few things they (or you) need they grow out of or beyond so quickly. Hand-me-downs, craigslist, and ebay should be more or less the only sources anyone needs. Worked for us at least. The only new purchase was a stroller (and lucky us, that was a gift!) Good luck! You'll do wonderfully!

My youngest (also have a 17yo) is 19 months and is still wearing the 2 dozen AIO diapers I purchased on ebay prior to his birth. They cost me $132, incl shipping. I did purchase some cloth tri-folds to use with them because his legs are skinny - which allows the pee to dribble out before the fleece can absorb- and his skin dries out quickly when next to microfleece. The trifold liners cost about $7/half-dozen. I sewed a couple dozen flannel wipes when I was pregnant and nesting, but we honestly prefer the cheap washclothes I later purchased for "poopy" diaper use. So, I guess I have two pointers: 1. you don't need to spend a fortune on good cloth diapers and 2. cheap washclothes make GREAT wipes :-)

Best of luck!

"why would you need bottles for a newborn? use your breasts woman!"

Really?! I don't think it's anyone's business if she chooses to nurse or bottle feed. And some women aren't able or find it extremely difficult. So yeah, bottles are needed for a newborn. She's no less of a mother or woman if she chooses to bottle feed/formula feed. Oy.

I love you @Pyewacket. :)

all babies need is warmth, love and boobies. they'll sleep happily in your bed (and, have access to the 3 needs), move from place to place happily in your arms (and, have access to the 3 needs)... yes, they require clothing and nappies, if that's what you're in to, but holy heck! little babies don't need 100,000 cuddly toys. or shoes. or much else. the poor new parents have a big enough task on their hands without having to chuck consumer choices at them too, labelling them 'must haves'.
good article- challenging for some, i'm sure.

Good mentality going into parenthood, but I'll just tell you to come back and read this post 6 months or a year after the baby is here and I'm betting you'll be shaking your head at how pre-baby you sounded so optimistic (and I don't mean that in a bad way at all!)

Me and most of my friends who have now had babies were similar minded. And looking back we all agree that while this is a great mentality, I felt very naive looking back. Sure, you need diapers and love and a car seat. But it was put best to me by a friend in that a baby is a human, not a goldfish. There's no set list of minimums you'll need like a checklist to get by until you get to know the baby. That small list of simple things may work for you and may well go out the window. Just depends on the baby.

aaaaah, the passive aggressively judgy pre-baby post about being smart and good enough to not need all the ugly stuff which in turn invites all the judgy comments about what you really do need or don't need. this shizz always cracks me up :)

We tried to minimize "stuff" in a big way. Like others we were given some big noisy ugly toys that I turned my nose up at, turns it they were sanity savers!
Also I would suggest a few extra pairs of PJs for the mum. between leaky breasts and baby spew in the night I often found myself needed a change in the middle of the night!
And yeah, big thumbs down to the "use your breasts woman comment" for all the reasons others have said!

"Also, if the baby's sleeping, it's perfectly ok to use the bathroom, take a shower or dash into the post office for stamps."

Uhhh....not sure how you're dashing into the post office (either leaving baby in the car (yikes!) or home alone (more yikes?!) but this is terrible advice to try and give a new mother!

These "use your breast!" comment comes right after I got done reading this:
http://jezebel.com/5932471/the-pressure-to-breastfeed-is-getting-out-of-hand?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_twitter&utm_source=jezebel_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

Its funny, I'm breastfeeding and was/am pressured by my formula using parents what a waste of time it is to be doing it at the same time as I have tons of new mom friends belittled and harassed by other moms if they don't.

We lived in a small place when my first was born and the crib ended up being a huge waste of space. At least we got it for free from a friend, but the baby slept best (and it was easier to breastfeed), while cosleeping. The crib, which was in our room, ended up becoming a really big fresh laundry depository. We didn't bother with making a nursery. We needed the extra room more for guests, so left it as a guest room. Saved a lot of money that way! We just moved into our first house and could start out with buying kid furniture.

I agree that not everyone can or wants to breastfeed, but if you do want to breastfeed, I wouldn't buy a days supply of bottles, just in case. Starting out breastfeeding can be difficult and in a moment when your confidence is low, those bottles look like a good way to make sure your baby is getting enough to eat. So having a full stock of bottles can kind of set you up for failure. I'd buy one or two, if you are really nervous. If you really end up needing more, someone can run out to the store or you can order more online.

Even if you aren't planning on breastfeeding, or are planning on pumping and bottle-feeding, I've known a lot of parents who wasted money buying a bunch of bottles that they or their child ended up not liking. I'd buy one of a few types, until you know which you like best.

We adopted and brought home a newborn baby with less than 24-hours notice. We didn't have much. I kept nervously telling the hospital staff that we had bottles, formula, diapers, car seat and a few onesies. They kept reassuring me that I had everything I needed (and they sent us home with a thermometer). And it turns out we did. We had a baby shower a few weeks later and were a little better able to determine what we needed.

Very wise. The problem with the mass acquisition of stuff before having a baby is that you just can't know what you'll really need before the baby arrives. Of course, there are the obvious basics like a car seat, place to sleep, diapers...but beyond that, there's so much variation in what different kids will like or need. I can honestly say that with our first baby, our hand-me-down bouncy seat saved our sanity. The kid LOVED that thing and got totally chilled out in it. The second baby? Meh...he could take it or leave it.

Other than not having to store tons of stuff, a big benefit of starting with the minimum is that it will allow you to be creative (i.e., if baths in your kitchen sink work for you, then no need to buy a tub!).

My advice to every new parent: DON'T let anyone else pressure you into doing something you don't want to do (and learn to shrug it off, because people will try)! This is your baby, and you have to do what works for YOUR family, not anyone else's!

Good luck!

So true! They also don't care if they have their own room or if it's got a cute theme (that's for the grown-ups)!
The only thing I would add is some kind of carrier (sling or baby bjorn type) is so handy and was like a 2nd pair of arms.
Used the pack and play all of about 2x for 2 kids. Didn't have a crib for the first child, but had a moses basket.
All they really want is love, food, clean diaper and lots of time with you!

Babies don't have to be expensive at all, I roll my eyes whenever I see some of these 'must have' things on the market. The main thing with a baby is to find things that multitask. Put your changing table on top of a low dresser. Instead of pee-pee tee-pees, just throw a wipe over it while you change him, it's one less thing to have to haul around with you. Get hand me downs from friends who just had babies, then pass them on to someone else when they outgrow them. There are also really great resale fairs in practically every city.

Sometimes you find a specific tool is really helpful. Parenting is definitely learn-as-you-go for most of us. If you start with only the basics, you'll surely have to add a few things, but you will at least see the need before you buy/accept/borrow. We all respond to our family's unique needs so the argument for a universal must-have list is crazy.

Much of the big gear (swings, exersaucers, play yards, etc.) came in handy when we had more than one child (think protective custody).

What's even better is that what works for the 1st baby may not work for the 2nd. It's a lot of trial and error and the personality of your child.

I think you are on the right track, babies don't need all that much, and you should be able to get stuff as you need it instead of buying all these must have in advance.
I also opted to skip the baby shower explaining that I already had what we needed at that we prefered having hand me downs and having actual help instead of new stuff we won't use, my mother in-law felt the need to throw me a mini shower so don't be suprised if someone throws you a suprise baby shower!

I had everyone throwing things at me when I had my first. He was the first third gen on my side and fifth gen on my husband's. Needless to say we were flooded. In the end, we needed diapers (sadly not cloth due to pay laundry), formula (sadly, again), bottles, clothing, a click-in car seat, and a bouncy seat. He co-slept for the first three years due to sleep issues. The bouncy seat was great for daytime naps as I could fold laundry and keep him napping with the tap of a foot. I think his first five years I spent a total of $50 on clothing thanks to tons of hand-me-downs. It was fantastic.

My biggest piece of advice? DO NOT be afraid to take something back and get what you need. Know you're not going to need six diaper wipe warmers? Or even one? Take them to the store and get a gift card. It's highly unlikely whoever bought the warmers will ever know and you'll be able to get the baby something they really need.

To the person who said a monitor is a waste of money - we live in a house with very thick wood doors. When our daughter was put down to nap/sleep at night there is no way we could hear her. She slept in our bedroom in a pack 'n play for 6 months, but DH and I would have a "date" each night by hanging out in the living room and having a glass of wine while she slept. We definitely needed a monitor to be able to hear her.

actual NEEDS:

car seat
stroller {if you don't want to carry your baby ALL the time}
diapers
wipes
burp cloths
teething toys
crib {or a SAFE place to sleep}
mylicon {to relieve gas}
diaper ointment {for rashes}
swaddling blankets
a safe place to put the baby when you need to leave the room {in a pack-n-play, bouncer, swing or jumperoo.}

i recommend asking trusted friends what they loved/hated about the baby products they got AND going on amazon.com and researching the pros and cons yourself. that kept me from many an imprudent purchase.

people will give you so much stuff, return what you can and use the store credit for stuff that you'll really need/want. good luck and congrats!

I resisted a pack & play for a long time (most of my friends said they weren't all that useful), then at the last minute accepted a used one from my mother-in-law and I have to say it's been pretty handy. At home my son (almost 1 year old) won't really play in it by himself for very long (it's turned out to be more of a giant toy box than anything else), but we've gone on several car trips in the last six months and I think having a consistent place to sleep when he's away from home has helped him (and us) get more sleep.

Perhaps I'm a bit late weighing in here, but:

How fortunate are we to have such an excess of "stuff" offered to us that we have to turn it down/ figure out how to manage it all? It happened to me too (our baby is now 8 months) and I was so grateful to have that problem. A friend threw me a traditional shower, but because of all the hand-me-down clothes I received, I returned all of my clothing gifts for things that we still needed. Things I think were/are a giant waste: baby towels, changing table, Pack n' Play (unless you are somewhere your baby can't be put on the floor, ew), peepee teepees, wipes warmer, swing, rocker, even the crib. We opted for a montessori-style floor bed at 6 months, so even the crib we bought ended up being obsolete.

A thought about avoiding gifts: Even if you don't need "stuff," you might still need "stuff done." Those gift givers want to feel like they've contributed to the new baby's life in some way... why not have a "do-something" shower where guests help paint the nursery, or put together nursery furniture, or assemble a swingset, or stock the freezer, etc?

A safe place to place to sleep (crib, pack n play, co-sleeper, or parents bed that is prepared for safe co-sleeping, many bouncers) does not include an infant swing or car seat, but of which are very risky because they restrict airflow.

Diapers- we like fuzzi bunz with cheapo washclothes for wipes

sling

boobs

A safe place to keep baby when your arms are tired like a bouncer
Everything else is gravy.

Breastfeeding simplifies our lives.
No bottles. I got a pump and gave myself an "oversupply" problem because everyone told me I needed extra milk on hand or maybe dad wanted to feed him. For us, that was terrible advice. My son is almost seven months and has only had a bottle three times. Now I only pump so I can add milk, instead of water, to the food I make for him. Completely portable. Packing is a breeze. I have one nursing top and only two nursing bras. No "special" cover required. A gauze blanket has been totally sufficient 100% of the time.

One other item. We cloth diaper. I wish I had skipped the pocket diapers. Prefolds and thirsties wraps are awesome and can take take a lot of abuse. Not one leak. Ever. Our fuzzibunz have to be handled very carefully and just makes laundry complicated.

I love this post! I'm sure you'll get a bunch more suggestions about what you must-have in the comments here. (I haven't even looked at them yet.) One thing I tried to keep in mind is that some things can be really helpful but are only needed for a few months so if I could borrow them and then return them, I got to make use of them and then get the space back in my house. (Examples for us: bouncy seat to move from room to room, boppy pillow, johnny jump up.) We never had a swing but I know it was a life-savor for our friends with their colicky first babe. Definitely one to borrow, not own, because they're HUGE!

The PEE PEE TEE PEEs! LOL! Someone gave a set of them to my daughter when my grandson was born! We all laughed so hard we almost peed ourselves!!! (By the way, they don't really work. Unless watching a PeePee Tee Pee rise up in the air on the crest of Ol' Yeller Faithful means they're working!)

Personally, I don't get the "strain your back while pinching your forearm muscle lug it around until it's so heavy that you have to plunk it down on a counter or floor"- style car seat/baby carrier. Who invented those things?! Couldn't have been a mother. And then when did parents become so afraid of direct physical contact with their babies in public? They're carted around in this unwieldy plastic thing like a sack of bricks. It's ironic, but I've watched mothers with their backs arched backward lugging their babies around in those car seat carriers, like they're petrified to have their skin touch the baby's, turn around & become Helicopter Mothers a year later & won't stop fussing over the kid! My daughter I carried around in a side sling, then a back carrier. And as soon as she was old enough (heavy enough) I pushed her out of the nest. Good for me, good for her. And it worked for my grandson. But then again, car seats didn't exist where I come from, still are very rare to this day. The day after she was born I left the clinic with my daughter in my arms & hopped on an open air bus. My bag contained one cloth diaper & my change purse. I openly nursed my daughter while sitting next to a woman with a baby goat on her lap. A man sitting behind me played Andean folk songs & lullabies to us on his pan flutes the entire hour long ride. Some school-age children took up a collection in a hat which they presented to me with the urging "Por favor, Señora. Compra una cosa bonita para su hija." Only 30 years ago, but I wonder how many adults today, in the Land of Plenty, would gather up a collection on a bus offering a stranger to "buy something pretty for your daughter"! And those kids were shoeless!

My point? I guess it's that, when it comes to raising & caring for your child, all you really need is love & to teach them good values so that they take those values out with them & make a better world. Raise them to be selfish, believing that the universe centers around them, that they deserve & should expect everything without putting out or giving back and that's the type of adults who will be calling the shots in the future.

I have two kids and am still on the fence about whether or not we'll have one more. I completely agree with the poster who said the baby gear industry is a racket. I still remember when I went to register for my first and almost had a breakdown in the bottle aisle at Babies R Us. It was overwhelming. We registered for a few things and, between two kids, we used everything at some point. However, our house is small so after my youngest outgrew the infant gear, I passed it on to others. My theory is that if we have another, I'll borrow the gear I decide I need and avoid buying the things I don't. Good luck in your efforts to take the minimalist approach! And further agree with other posters that the "must have" lists vary from parent to parent and even from baby to baby (for example, my son used the swing maybe twice while my daughter, who's two, would probably still want to sit in it if we still had it).

I completely agree about not having too much stuff. Our daughter is 9 months now and I tried to be minimal.

The best advice I can give is that you don't know what will happen except that you will have a baby, who comes with lots of needs. The night we brought our daughter home, my husband got a horrible stomach flu and ended up having to go back to the hospital himself! I was so grateful we had a prepared nursery with some clothes, some diapers, some blankets and a crib. I fully expected having a hand that first night and when it was unexpectedly taken it was nice to be prepared!

Being minimalist, this was very much in my mind. Even for non-minimalists, it's a great idea to thing first and act second -- and then also often wait until the baby is born so that you know exactly that you need to make your life easier. Because that's what's helpful with a newborn -- making your life easier. :)

If you're nursing, invest in at least one good quality nursing bra that is functional and also makes you feel good in your clothes. Nursing tanks are even better for discrete nursing in public. I bought one great nursing bra for going out with the baby, and rotated a few not-so-supportive Target cheapies at home. Don't buy a more expensive bra right away. I would recommend waiting until your supply regulates because your breasts will probably be a little smaller than they were in the very beginning.

And no, you don't "need" a cover. It's really easy to nurse in public discretely without a cover once you become good at getting the baby latched on quickly. It's likely that you won't be leaving the house much before you get good at latching the baby on anyway. Many babies hate nursing covers. They're hot. Plus they draw a lot more attention to the fact that you're nursing than just getting the baby latched on by lifting your shirt. Nursing covers can be helpful for that window of time when your baby is easily distracted and needs some calm to concentrate, but that window is often quickly followed by the baby pulling at the cover and being annoying by it. Don't let anyone pressure you into using a cover because it makes THEM more comfortable. They can look the other way if they have a problem.

We're expecting our 3rd and I can tell you what we didn't need with the first two:

Bottles
Breast Pump
Crib
Bassinet
Pack & Play
Swing
Baby Toys (until they got older)
Changing table & pad
Stroller
Pacifiers

Both of my first two co-slept and never took bottles. This wasn't for lack of trying to get them to sleep in the crib & eat from someone other than mommy...it just ended up that way. I would never advocate for *not* having a crib, bottles, pump or pacifiers - you should. The moral is for some things you just won't know until the baby comes.

So thrilled to see AppleCheeks Cloth Diapers featured front and centre on this fantastic blog post!

I don't have any children (yet) but this post is EXACTLY how I feel about expecting a baby.

My sister has one child (nearly six years old now) and is expecting triplets. My nephew already has an overwhelming barrage of stuff that fills every nook and cranny and open space in every room, covers many rooms at my parents' house, and fills my sister's attic. I shudder to think what everyone will think she needs when she has THREE more babies! I love the idea of a "meet the baby (or babies" party instead of a shower, where the focus is less on things and more on the bundles of joy!

My gift to my sister will be homemade baby food using vegetables and fruits from my CSA share next year. I will freeze it in ice cube trays and bring bags of them to her each time I visit. I've also suggested to her a diaper service using cloth diapers, as the financial and environmental expense of disposable diapers (especially for three babies at once) seems unreasonable to me. Plus, she will be on bedrest after giving birth and will not be able to do much for a while.

In my opinion, babies need stimulation form touch and interaction and imagination, not from a bunch of knick-knacks they will quickly outgrow. After all, how have generations of families in other parts of the world or during the Great Depression get by with less? It's worth considering, even though I know everyone wants their children to have the best. Maybe the best is less?

Whoops, sorry for all the grammatical errors. Yeesh.

Islek, I'm sure your sister will appreciate the fresh food, but maybe she could use your help before six months has passed? Maybe if you're so insistent on what kind of diapers she should use, you could go over a few times a week and do her laundry? Just a suggestion.

It's just rather amusing that someone without the baby in the house yet knows what they'll need. I'm into the less is more group of folks too, but after having gone through a baby already and now expecting our second next week... well.. babies have a way of changing what you think.

I do hope you have the perfect baby life that you imagine. My first was not perfect. Acid reflux to beat the band, tongue tied, nursing issues... we nick named her "Dragon" because I swear the kid breathed fire and cried all of the time. I would have paid money for her to take a pacifier but she never would... which was nice in its own way but ...

And if you are "blessed" with the spit up champ from reflux, I should mention that the prefold burp rags at Cotton Babies website are a great choice and better than any other option out there. (other prefolds, other than Gerber, but REAL prefolds are all on the same line, that website just happens to have some the size of good dragon breathing burp rags).

Baby stuff will also vary depending on how much your partner is around to help. My hubs is gone a lot, so I single parent most of the time... the bouncy seat IN the bathroom is fab - can put baby in and keep her safe and still grab a shower or potty myself or... The big giant space eating swing is also amazing, especially the one that goes both directions (got this swing at a yard sale) because again, the dragon needs to be tamed in order to prevent tears from mom.

As we had to start over with second baby (totally over, thanks to a fire) we did learn a few things. Consginment stores are great. I don't need a high chair at birth - that can wait until 9 months or so. Same with the excersaucer .... BUT, we are prepared with a great Ergo carrier and got a used but great infant seat for the car. You might think that those carry out seats are silly, but if your baby is reflux, you'll fight tooth an nail to keep them asleep on the rare occasion that they actually are.

The best thing to have though is a lack of judgement of other parents - this is not a competition on who can go with the least stuff... it's about surviving the first year mentally in tact. If that space eating environment destroying contraption is going to do that, find it used and enjoy the extra sanity...

@pyewacket: thank you for your comment about breastfeeding.

Agreed, every baby is different. We didn't use a crib for 6 months or a stroller for 3. But that was us.

Of course, no one wants to go to Target with a newborn, either! So make sure you have a lot of diapers and wipes and onesies and tiny nail clippers! The rest is all extras, especially if you are nursing.