This was a very timely post. I'm sending my 4 year old off to kindergarten next week (in VA). He will turn five at the end of September. Lots of mixed feelings and worries... but he's very tall and smart, so we are hopeful that he'll do great!

After high school I went to community college since I didn't know what I wanted to major in. I entered 4 year 1 year behind and didn't finish my master's degree until I was 26. Once I entered the work for it made 0 difference. When you apply for jobs it is illegal to ask for your age. No one who is hiring her will know that she is 23 instead of 22.

The most important thing is to keep track of how she is doing, and if she is far ahead of the class and completing work at the next grade level, discuss skipping a grade with the school.

I am neither a teacher nor a parent, but as a girl who started Kindergarten at 4 (late November birthday) and graduated from high school at 17 I can say that I never minded being significantly younger than a lot of my classmates. Yes all of my friends were driving 6 months before I was but that was honestly the only time I felt the gap. Perhaps it is different for boys, but I never minded.

Redshirting 8th graders so they can have an extra year before going into high school sports is so common in my parents' north Louisiana town that the public middle schools actually now have an 8+ program that ensures the kids stay on track academically. It started with the boys, but now that girls' athletics are getting more competitive, they see quite a few more girls in the program.

I'm not sure how I feel about redshirting as a kindergartner versus a middle schooler, especially when the primary goal is to build a bigger, strong kid as opposed to a better academically prepared kid.

This issue has been a bone of contention with me for years. I am a longtime educator and parent and what this issue presents is nothing but guilt and pressure on current parents to push their children to be the "brightest and best" of their group. Why parents are thinking that being the "oldest" will give their child a headstart in the process of life is beyond me. Children are all different, they develop differently. Some will progress faster than others, but in the mix at some point in school, usually around 3rd grade, the majority of children fall within the middle of the bell curve, whether they are the oldest or youngest. Keep in mind also that SOMEONE will always be the youngest of the class, job, life. The push to expect young children/ pre-schoolers, to be the brightest, biggest or have the best advantage is putting pressure not only on the child's performance but on the parents performance. Every child is not going to be the "brightest" or gifted student and in my eyes that is wonderful. Stop trying to think pushing/or holding back your children will be the answer to giving them the heads up on life. Enjoy your children for who they are and what they are capable of doing at each point in their early years, stop fretting over their future academic acheivements . Please stop stressing over their academic performance...stress will certainly be transferable to the children.

I red-shirted my daughter. She has a very late August birthday, and our school cut-off is Sept 1. They asked if I would prefer her to be oldest or youngest. After much thinking, we chose for her to be one of the oldest in her class and have not regretted it for one second.

My two friends who didn't redshirt held their boys back and did kindergarten twice. It wasn't an academic issue--it was a sports one. It's hard to compete with kids who are 18 months older than you. Our reasoning came down to: if everything can be 20% easier for our kid for the next 13 years, why not? Of course, this means she will be 10 in fourth grade and 15 as a freshman, which is weird for me. But if Taylor Swift wrote "Fifteen" about a freshman girl, then it has to be pretty common...

FIPPSS - That was my first thought too! "Good thing my daughter's favorite color is blue...no one wants to kill science officers."

With a late November birthday, my parents started me in Kindergarten when I was already five. I was always a bit older, and I felt strange because I was the same age as the kids in the next grade sometimes. I was always afraid someone would think I failed a grade. I won sometimes in roller skate races with the tall boys though.

FIPPSS it's a reference to college sports redshirting freshmen so that they have an extra year to train and develop with the team before playing.

As far as age and learning, I've always been of the mindset that the earlier one starts preschool & kindergarten, the better they are later in years. I was a June birthday in a September cutoff school system, so I was always on the younger side. However, I was always tall, curious, and my family supported my learning process and developing intelligence. I probably would have rebelled if my parents had held me back because of my age.

I didn't go to preschool and I started kindergarten when I was four. I had no idea what was going on and I pretty much sat in a corner by myself for the first couple weeks. But that was 1976 and probably not all that unusual and I eventually grew to love school and suffered no ill side effects. And yes...I defintely remember there were people who thought that if you were older and got held back that meant you weren't as smart as the other kids who could do the same work at a younger age.

My son missed the cutoff last year and will be starting kindergarten next week at five and a half. A lot of moms I know have talked about needing to hold their child back because they're "not ready". They seem like normal, happy, bright kids so I'm not sure what they're worried about, but I'm not their mother, so what do I know. I guess my point is that no one I know or have talked to has full out admitted to redshirting in order to give their child an advantage. I guess it's not something you would brag about anyway, but I do think it's strange that the "stigma" on being the oldest has gone away and I'm guessing now there are parents who will talk about how you're doing your child a disservice by not holding them back.

As someone who essentially did redshirt as a kid (funny enough, in Indiana), it's is interesting the advantages it gives you. I was one of the bigger kids, had exposure to a few subjects via homestudy before K and as a result came in doing very well in my class immediately.

Another thing is that the kid can always skip a grade or two if it turns out their current grade just isn't challenging or if the age differential isn't working out (8th grade is perfect for skipping, being largely review in many systems and since kids tend to change schools then the social upheaval is a bit less). You get the advantage of the high momentum start and things being easier along with being able to graduate "on time". Much better than holding the kid back later.

@FIPPSS The term red shirting comes from college sports where a freshman will delay his first year of eligibility to get better developed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(college_sports)

(though I think your definition is far funnier :D )

I think it really depends on your child. This stupid sports thing aside (as if sports is what really matters for what you need to learn to live well as an adult - ok, I know I'm in the minority here) - children are different people. (Some won't even love group sports.) Some have way more intellectual power and could beat most 1st graders at age 4. Others have it, but develop later. Some have deficits, and will struggle, and may do better being older than others, and some may not - being older could be more problematic than not. Pay attention to your child, their needs, and their readiness, and forget the rest.

The cutoff in my parents' school district is December 31. As March and April babies, redshirting never entered into the equation for me or my youngest brother. My two sisters, born in late September and early November, weren't redshirted, either, although it might have helped each of them, especially the baby of the family... she's always the youngest both at home and in school. My parents did decide to redshirt my other brother, born in early October, because of his learning/maturity difficulties (originally thought to be ADHD, later diagnosed as Asperger's).

Another interesting data point-- some European countries (Germany, for instance) don't start formal schooling until 7!

Thanks to MCGRATHINNOLA for their comments. My daughter is going into preschool in 5 days and I am always skeptical of the ways parents around me are trying to give their kids an advantage. My partner and I decided from the start these methods are not for our family, and we don't think for a minute that it will have negative effects on her life, academically, socially or whatever.

Why is this an Apartment Therapy subject?

Forgot to mention, kindergarten is so much more intensive now than it was 20 years ago... kids are expected to sit still at their desks, learn what used to be considered first-grade material, be "on task" for much more of the day, etc. Not surprising that so many kindergartners aren't ready for these expectations-- they used to come a year later!

I had a very smart, very tall son. 20 years ago, as a young mother, I didn't know any better and figured big and smart was all he needed to be. He was emotionally immature, however, and he struggled each year. Finally, after his 6th grade year, we moved, and had him repeat the 6th grade. HE came to US and told us how much better it was, finally his friends acted like him!

I don't have children (I'm still at university), but I went to a private middle school in Texas as a kid, and all of the boys in my year were definitely older. Although there was no clear difference in maturity for me, athletics was incredibly competitive and the boys who weren't a year older weren't really able to compete. For the girls, on the other hand, I had friends who had been held back AND pulled up, but again I didn't really see a difference. Just a student's perspective!

I think both ways are fine, it all depends on the child.
I was one of the youngest in my class, with a November Birthday. The only times I really noticed how much younger I was were at the big milestone birthdays: I was the last to get my driver's license, the last one to get into the bars/ buy alcohol. But other than that there were no differences between me and my classmates.
My husband on the other hand, was in the same class as me- but is nearly 2 years older. He went in to kindergarten as the oldest and then repeated it. He had ADHD, and it was the best thing for him. He fit right in with our class.

I don't necessarily believe that "redshirting" always gives children an advantage. I started kindergarten when I was 4 and didn't turn 5 until the end of January (5, almost 6 months after I started school). I never had issues keeping up and I was an honour student all through school (elem, JRH/HS). In fact I often did better than the older people in my class.

I started college at 17 and graduated with Honours, much better than a majority of my significantly older class. Business wise, I make more money than half my friends who went to University (I took a tech program in Architecture) and all the while we were going to school they all looked down on me for going to a Tech college instead of University. Look who's laughing now.... I have a professional senior position in my firm and a good majority of them are secretaries (not that there's anything wrong with that – sorry if I offended anyone with that comment).

In my own personal experience I had more of an advantage being young than I would have being older. I do see where some children would benefit as not all children develop mentally and physically at the same rate.

When I started kindergarten, the rule was that you had to be 5 by the first day of school. My 5th birthday WAS the first day of school. I spent all of elementary school as the youngest person in my grade, and also the tallest. My parents tell me that everyone was telling them to hold me back, but they've always been glad that they didn't because I was bored to tears most of the time as it was. Being the youngest didn't hurt me at all, as far as I can tell, but being made to read books "on grade level" when my 6th grade self was testing at a college sophomore reading level was torture. Teach kids at the level they're at, in each subject, not solely based on their chronological age.

I was the youngest in my class and graduated high school at 17. Consider that you are looking at this wrong, instead of making a child look good because they are more mature, maybe being around more mature children will encourage your child to mature faster instead of not being pushed by naturally being ahead of the rest.

I was young in my class, but still took AP courses, excelled at the arts, and graduated 9th in my class, and received merit scholarships for college. I graduated college on the Deans List. I was never at a disadvantage, and am almost insulted at the thought that it would be the case.

I would say it depends on the kids, but the majority of kids should be with their peers. After all, that is what the curriculum is designed for. However, there are always exceptions. Before you decide, you also need to understand what part of the kid's behavior is age related and what is personality related. That said, here is my story: My parents put me in school a year ahead. I was ready for it and in addition, I was among the tallest in my class. It worked very well and I was glad to have that "extra" year after high school. Now, I have twins, of which one is a hear ahead. When he was in 2nd and 3rd grade, we got hints from teachers that he was so disorganized and "in his own world" that we should consider moving him back to where he "should be". We persisted and now he is in the gifted program and much happier, and his young age isn't an issue. Also, he isn't the only one having to work hard on his organizational skills... His twin sister is in her grade appropriate class and even if it was tough for her to accept at first, that is the best place for her. Kids are all different and what is good for one, isn't necessarily for another. However holding normal kids back a year, in my opinion, robs them of a year that can be used for so much more on the other side of school...

It depends so much on the child's readiness. I started kindergarden at 5 and was one of the younger kids in my class. I had learned how to read at home and was already bored with all the dumb stuff we were supposed to learn in kindergarden - I can't even imagine how bored I would have been if I had been held back until I was 6. If the kid is intellectually ready for school, their age relative to their peers should not matter.

we waited an extra year to put our son in kindergarten since his birthday is late august (cut off in our district is aug. 31) and he truly wasn't ready to go. he was incredibly shy, had a speech delay and a lot of fine motor skills delay. we chose to put him through another year of a play-based preschool where he could just focus on learning to do simple things like meet a new friend or use scissors without the pressure of performance. plus, all kindergartens in our district are full-day and it would have just been too much. now he's 8, heading into 2nd grade and is doing great in school. is he the best, biggest, smartest kid? nope. but he sure is happy and that's what matters to us.

I put my 4 year old in kindergarten, in spite of INTENSE pressure to hold him back (I wrote a lot about it on my blog, if you want the full story:)

The kindergarten dilemma

There will be studies to back either side. The study I read most recently says that the students that progress the most are those who have older classmates to model better behavior and help the younger kids learn more difficult subjects. So, in many ways, I gave my kindergartner the best classroom setting possible because many of the kids were redshirted and provided a more mature learning environment for him.

There were many reasons I decided to allow him to start Kindergarten at 4. His age didn't have much to do with it. It was his skill level that ultimately made me decide to do it. He could already read most of the site words and met much of the goals for the year. Holding him back would have made him very bored. Instead, he was challenged, had a great year, and is doing fine among his sometimes older peers.

In Quebec, the cut off date is October 1st, but you can ask for a "derogation" and get your kid in kindergaten if they hit five before december 1st. Here competitive sport is not important in our school system so being bigger will not give you anything more. I think it's more a question of maturity and the intellectual skills of the child, I was the youngest of my class and was always the best performer, I always felt as if school was not going fast enough, so for me it would certainly not have been a good idea to hold me back an other year, but it can be beneficial for other kids.

clap clap clap mcgrathinnola!!!

I was always one of the youngest in my school. I was also always in advanced classes AND was one of the most athletic. (I was a pretty big deal. Ha.) A child's success when they enter school depends on the aptitude and maturity of the child, not their age.

Man, I HATED being the oldest in my class. I was always smart, but that had more to do with the effort my parents put into helping me rather than my age. Since I was the oldest in my class, many of my friends were a year (or more) ahead of me, and so every time there was a transition in life, my friends moved on before me.

I have so many thoughts on this... but here are just a couple:

" With age comes maturity, brain capacity, height, and strength. These children then feel naturally "gifted", do better on tests, are picked first for team sports, and overall gain confidence on each rung of the ladder to success.... When someone like my daughter goes to college, enters the work force, or competes in any other national competition along the way, she is at a disadvantage to children in the same grade in other states."

I know that you said that each child is different, but the statements you made above worry me. Be very careful to not generalize!! Truly, every child IS different and every school system is different, and you have to do what is best for them. I am the child of two educators (maybe that made a difference), and I break every generalization in the above statements. I have an August birthday and skipped kindergarten, which has made me the youngest in my class my whole life (graduated HS at 17). However, I was the tallest in my class for much of my life, HS valedictorian, 4-year varsity letter-winner in track (hurdles, no less), 2-year varsity letter-winner in tennis, and my college choir sang for royalty and the president in the White House, and in Carnegie Hall, Walt Disney Hall, Severance Hall, etc... I graduated college with two degrees in music and chemistry (w/ distinction) and I am now in an MD/PhD program (MSTP) - there are only 933 students in this type of program in the entire US. And don't worry, my husband, friends, and family tell me that I'm the most normal, social nerd they've ever known. :)

I honestly don't like to talk about myself or my accomplishments, but this is anonymous and I wanted to emphasize that you shouldn't feel like you need to hold your daughter back for her to succeed based on trends... do what's best for her, and with such loving, concerned parents, I'm sure she'll do extremely well!!

I was the youngest in my class. All in all, I came out of it ok. I was always the best reader, and the tallest, despite being almost six months younger than the next youngest. That being said, my relationship building skills werent at great as my older peers, and it took me a long time to catch up in that respect, which was miserable. Now, as an elementary educator, I have spent a lot of time in primary grade classrooms. I have seen 4 year olds who are totally ready for school, and 5 1/2 year olds who should really be held back another year. Parents should not only consider their childs readiness in terms of academics and physical aspects, they should also take a good look at the maturity of their child, because bright kids are not always emotionally ready. Its hard because its pretty obvious that a 5yo who is still wearing 3T clothing and needing naps is simply too small for kindergarten, but when your 4 1/2 yo is an inch taller than everyone else, and already reading, its a little bit harder to be truley objective.

My son missed the cut off by a month. He is gifted and was finding kindergarten work woefully dull. The school district have said he is more than capable of work several grades above what he is currently doing. He is also tall, mature, and very outgoing. They have tested him as gifted and he does one supplemental gifted class a week. However, they are hesitant to accelerate him since so many other patents hold their kids back in school to ensure they are the oldest children in class. So if they agreed to accelerate my son, he woud be in a class with many kids as much as 18 months older than him. I think it's all ridiculous. There are children in his current class who were held back and are clearly finding the work far too easy. Current research shows that kids do better in school by learning from older kids. Unless there is legitimate concern that the child isn't ready, why hold them back?

These are good questions, and I don't think it just applies to formal schooling. I have a Late May birthday, so I was on the younger side of my grade level. I was not into sports and was talented and self-motivated academically. Keeping me back a year would have done nothing but put me through a year of being bored out of my mind.

My experience with being the youngest in a group was in a non-school activity. We moved to a new state when I was 6. I had been in dance lessons in our old state. I liked the lessons fine, but didn't love them. When we moved to our new town, the only dance class available that didn't conflict with my mother's work schedule was for 8 year olds. My mother enrolled me anyway. I was the absolute worst at every. single. thing. It was hell and killed any liking I had for the lessons. By the time I got my mom to let me quit the class, I was hiding in the dressing room for about half of the class.

I was born and raised in New York. I moved to VA when I was 15. I was the youngest in my class. I'm not sure why this is a disadvantage though. Especially, as you mention, in the work force? Age does not really play in there. I felt better about being younger...I got to go out into the world when I was only 17. The amount of age difference between people in the class is not a huge difference --- certainly not enough that would cause such a difference in learning or maturity. Either way, they are being taught the same thing.

I'm born at the end of May. So, I was almost always the youngest in my class. By kindergarten, I had already learned how to read, and during reading time I was sent to a first grade class to read with them since I had tested at a higher reading level.

Then, I skipped the 3rd grade, meaning that I was DEFINITELY the youngest.

A big shout out to the principal who tried to talk my parents out of letting me skip the 3rd grade, as he said it would be horrible for me. Hmm, nope, hasnt hurt me at all!

I took AP and honors classes, went to a top 5 high school in the country, played sports, was involved in extracurriculars and had a great GPA and SAT score.

I graduated HS two weeks before my 17th birthday, started college before turning 18 and graduated college in 3 years, just before my 21st birthday (my graduation was end of April).

You as a parent know what's best for your child. Age ain't nothin' but a number.

I abhor this practice. I have a sibling who did it with her son, who is now well into a successful career. It always struck me as a manipulative move, an excessive micromanaging of the child's life. In my nephew's case, it worked well (I believe he would have thrived in any case), but I wonder fair it was to his less mature schoolmates. I wonder, too, about this scheme backfiring. I was generally ahead of my schoolwork as a child, and was bored with school offerings well before I could go off to university. I would have preferred skipping a grade. I had a friend who skipped two grades, entered a top university at age 15, and went on to become a physician. I think for the ambitious child, holding her back because of your own competitive impulses (yes, ai think this is all about the parents) is wrong.

this does not belong on apartment therapy unless maybe it's ohdeedoh (sp?).

What Priscilla said! This post is an off-topic personal musing with editorializing.

Red-shirting for sport advantages seems silly to me. How many of our kids will go pro?

There were 5 children that started kindergarten with my son who were 4 years old at the start of that school year (all turned 5 in October). As of now (6th grade), all 5 are in private schools ('learning differences/better to have small classes' say the parents), and two repeated a grade when they switched schools.

Total anecdotes, but all were simply too young to start kindergarten when they did, and I think it took a toll in terms of academic and social confidence. That said, this is a case-by-case, family-by-family decision.

I can understand holding a child back or repeating a grade for social or academic reasons. But for sports? Just for sports? Honestly, that strikes me as pathetic.

I don't have any children but I used to work with kids aged 3 - 6. The school where I worked had preschool classes, transition, and kindergarten. (Transition was for the students who, for various reasons, were not quite ready for kindergarten but would not have been challenged enough by preschool classes.) My two cents is this; your child's readiness has more to do with his/her individual personality than his/her age. What you teach at home will have more to do with a child's success than what they learn in school. Every student I ever had who excelled academically and socially had active, engaged parents.

Why are there more and more posts about things that have nothing to do with design? I don't mind topics that are tangentially related to design (say nicely design school supplies or a kid friendly desk). Even the one about trying to become friendly with neighbors could have potentially been about design (of neighborhoods, houses etc.). But this topic is just a parenting discussion. It's my fault for reading this but I had no idea what redshirting meant so I had no idea I should even avoid this post.

I'm a schoolteacher, and I don't find the practice abhorrent at all - if it's done from a developmental perspective.

Kids are expected to do different things in different grades. in eighth grade, for example (because it's what I know), we begin to expect independence in work completion as well as time management on long-term assignments. We still use techniques to guide students in these areas, but the push is on the transition to high school, where independence is necessary.

Every year, I have kids who are Just Not Independent. They don't manage their time well, they don't connect their lack of homework effort to their failure on their tests, they make silly decisions like stealing someone's candy without considering the fallout. It's trying. Essentially I'm asking a kid who's developmentally 9 or 10 to complete with another kid who's years ahead, developmentally. (Just as some 13-year-olds are 3 years behind, some are 3 years ahead.)

My former students come back to visit me, and I'm always impressed by the growth they've made - the childish ones grow into mature, responsible people. But it takes them a longer time to get there, and often they lose a year or more of schooling because they just can't meet the demands (or take advantage) of a system based on "average."

In an ideal world, we'd have an inifinite number and variety of public schools to cater to kids' developmental and social needs. Unfortunately, in the real world, we have high-stakes testing that drives a one-size-fits-all model, and we have limited funding which limits variety. So, if your child seems developmentally behind the other kids close to his age, I say: go for it. Redline the heck out of your kid. Just don't do it for some silly reason like your kid needs to be the biggest one on the football team, or needs to be the most "gifted" first grader.

I was the lucky child in the family that had the option of "redshirting" or not (although, we didn't call it redshirting at the time). I became one of the older kids in my class and I feel like I benefitted from it greatly. I was the first to do a lot of things in my class and I actually did have a different maturity level than others.. pointed out by family, friends, and teachers. I saw the benefits of "redshirting" and hope my future child(ren) can have a similar experience. Of course, working hard and being proactive in one's life gets you ahead, the little things help, too.

I was redshirted and I regret the decision my parents made. I felt stupid because I was an average student, but felt I should have done better because I was older than everyone. My senior year in high school was horrible. I was an 18 year old woman, ready to be away at college, mature and responsible for my age, and yet I had to spend half my day being treated as a child. I was miserable that entire year. Please don't do this to your girls!!! We do become women as teenagers.

It's wonderful hearing everyone's perspectives on this issue. Thank you for participating in the conversation!

RE: the topic on AT, education has always been a big part of the "Family" sector at Apartment Therapy, once known as Ohdeedoh. Since the sites merged, sometimes there are posts that seem off-topic from old AT, but fit into the broader umbrella sites and may wind up on the main page. It's a topic that effects all parents, future parents, and former students. While it may not be design-related per se, it effects tomorrow's designers. :-)

RE: entering the work force? I would argue that this is perhaps when the matter of age is most critical, as emotional maturity as an adult varies widely in one's early twenties. Again, it depends on the person, but one's 20-year-old self is impossible to accurately predict at the age of 4.

RE: my own child, we really have no interest at this point in actual redshirting. Yet having been one of those children who was put ahead a year because I was academically prepared, I remember the pain of being physically and somewhat emotionally behind during pubescent years. Not fun. I embrace that my older child will no longer be the youngest in her class, but would not consider actually holding her back, even if we had stayed in New York. My concern is with the overarching trend of redshirting, and the potential repercussions of national age discrepancies.

First off, you guys, it's what Gael Gallery said. This is an Ohdeedoh/Family post, and if you are not interested you don't have to read it.

My 4 year old son has a May birthday, and I admit I have been considering redshirting him for Kindergarten. However, the reason I have thought about doing this is not to give him a competitive advantage academically or for sports, but for social readiness, because like me, he is on the shy/slow to warm up side and has sensitivity issues. And frankly, I'd like him to have another year in a non-academic environment so that he can just, you know, be a kid, and fingerpaint and play in the sandbox and pet the class guinea pig.

Even so, his preschool class will have homework worksheets this year. Homework in preschool! And this is a play-based preschool! Yeesh.

My brother was redshirted, but it was more of a social-development decision for my parents. We moved halfway through his "preschool" year. When they enrolled him in kindergarten, they put him in the half day class and then the next year he "moved" to full day kindergarten.

In the end he was older than all of his other classmates (especially since we moved yet again) and he was considered "above grade level" in almost every subject. Ironically, he played football and he was still always the smallest kid on the team and dropped it in high school. He's dating a girl who was a year above him in school yet actually technically younger. I think making a decision when your child is 5 and thinking that it will play any sort of impact on their entire lives might be a little lofty?

My mom was a kindergarten teacher for many years, and often had to council parents on this topic. Most of them were kids with birthdays near the cut off (up to around a month before or a month after) where the school districtwas pretty lenient about the cut off (if you huffed and complained, they'd let your kid in even if they were a month or two past the Dec 1 cut off). It was a question of the individual child, educationally, socially, and physically. Was the kid brilliant but was small and akward withhis peers? An extra year of kindergarten would benefit him. Was the kid just before the cut off, but seemed to have the maturity and educational skills that they should to enter 1st grade? Then they'll probably do just fine. She did not believe in holding kids back because of sports, but she did once use it as reasoning for a father who would see no other reason; the fact that his son still acted liked a 3 year old did not sway him to hold him back, but the thought that he'd be bigger for sports did.

I was somewhat in the same boat as a child; I was very smart as a kid, but my birthday was 4 weeks after the cut off. My mom had no question that I should wait for the next year, and I never had an issue with it.

"First off, you guys, it's what Gael Gallery said. This is an Ohdeedoh/Family post, and if you are not interested you don't have to read it." I did finish reading it because I hate reading something half way. But like I wrote in my comment, I have no idea what redshirt meant so I did not know this is a Family post. In truth, I had no idea there was even a Family section at Apartment Therapy (and I'm not new, I've been faithfully following this site since 2006). I thought Ohdeedoh was a design blog focused on kids stuff (like room decor and parties), not a parenting blog. If this is one of the directions of this site, that's fine. I don't mind skipping it. I was just totally confused and maybe posts should be clearer in the title (hint hint site admin).

This sounds like a cop-out for parents who dont want to push their kids at the appropriate age level. I get that if your child isn't ready then he/she isnt ready, but it doesnt make any sense to me why anyone would think keeping your kid back a year would benefit them developmentally. Think about it this way, would you want to be the oldest in your class? Having to be around people even a year younger than me would have driven me nuts. And wouldnt that also mean your child's maturity level would he a year behind the level it should be?

I think there is a fine line between wanting the best for your child, and acting like an entitled sleaze. I get the motivation, I know everyone wants their kids to do well, but scheming to install your kid in situations where they have an unfair advantage over the people around them doesn't seem right, both as far as what you're doing to your kid and it's effect on their peers who you have effectively moved down a rung. It also smacks of the kind of "I'll just set my child up for the easiest possible road" behavior that just ends up crippling kids in the end. It reminds me of this NYT article about essentially screwing your kids over by taking away challenges and over-assuring them of how special and great and smart they are. To me, those kinds of parents seem so afraid that their child might fail, that they feel the need to put them on a path of least resistance, and that just seems sad. Have a little faith in your kids.

MissAmerica,

It's not that holding them back benefits them developmentally; it's that sometimes it's a more appropriate developmental MATCH. If a kid is a year behind his peers, developmentally, it would seem to be a constant game of catch-up and feeling behind and getting scolded for not doing X or Y that all the other kids can already do.

It only makes sense for a kid who's developmentally behind - not for the purpose of holding a kid back with kids who are behind him.

I just read Outliers, and found that section a bit unnerving, since my daughter was born just a few weeks before the school cutoff dates, and will therefore always be one of the youngest in her class. She started preschool last year right after she turned 3, when many of her classmates were almost 4--and at that age, 9-12 months IS a big gap. Still, she is bright and very tall for her age, so I believe she did well, and we don't intend to hold her back, although I wonder if it is the right thing.

I am comforted by my own experience. I started Kindergarten at age 4 (my mom pushed to get me in because she thought I was ready, even though I was born a month AFTER the cutoff). I was always an honor student and tall for my age, and I never once regretted being the youngest--to the contrary, it felt like a cool party trick, hanging with (and out-competing) classmates who were 1-2 years older. And in those days, it was a bit embarassing to be the oldest in the class, because it usually meant you had repeated a grade, which could imply you were not very smart. I started at an Ivy League college at 17, and finished with honors in 3 years at age 20 (largely because of the large number of AP/IB credits that carried over from high school). I had my pick of top professional schools after that, and have generally felt successful, so I have no regrets.

That said, I was grateful that my son was a fall baby, born 2 months after the cut-off, and will therefore always be one of the oldest in his class. I don't know if it will be true in his case, but since boys generally seem to mature more slowly, I am happy that he will have that extra time if he needs it.

What on earth does this have to do with design, shelter, or anything even resembling the reason for this blog??

As a mom to three summer birthday boys I have "redshirted" all of them and have not regretted it one moment. When making this decision for my second child, a preschool teacher said to me, "I've never known any parent to regret holding their child back, but I've known many that have regretted not doing so." It's something to consider, but a personal decision to make.

With a May birthday, I was one of the youngest in my class, but I was taller than most everyone (at least until fifth grade, when I stopped growing) and at the top of my class. I've read often that "redshirting" isn't as much of an issue for girls, because they tend to respond better to schooling, especially in the early years.

Urbancricket, calm down. This is an article belonging to the Family/Parenting site, previously called Ohdeedoh. I wish there weren't a general feed, but there is, so you'll have to deal. Your comment isn't really all that helpful.

I, too, thought Ohdeedoh/Family was about design.

Will we have nutrition-related public policy posts on The Kitchn?

Political candidate scorecards on Family, as well?

I'm a PreK teacher, and I have definitely recommended redshirting to a few parents. However, it always depends on the child. Many boys with late birthdays aren't as ready for kindergarten as their older peers (or girls of the same age). If a child seems to lack the maturity necessary for Kindergarten, then they should have an extra year of PreK to mature a bit more. Of course, no child should EVER be redshirted without first being screened for any learning disabilities. On second thought, no child should go without screening!

It seems to be an applicable AT topic to remind people to check school district policies prior to selecting a new neighborhood, city or home for their family to move to? I'm glad there is a variety of topics to read about and talk about on this site. I think it's humorous that the term "redshirting" applies to anything but college athletics - never heard of it used in any other way before.

My parents planned on having my brother and myself with birthdays in the late part of the year (his is in December, mine's in January) because thinking at that time did say it'd provide an advantage. However, due to various personal factors, he's never finished college and barely finished high school. I graduated high school with honors, finished college in 4 years and am working a job where I make $1/hr than he does. So... you never know.

Talk about middle class problems. Most families can't afford to pay for an extra year of child care. I know a few kids who were red-shirted because they weren't 'ready'. In each of those cases it was the mom who wasn't ready to let their kids go.

I do agree some kids probably aren't ready with a very close birthday. But your child isn't going to be 'gifted' because they're a year older.

Like many of the other posters I was the youngest in my class, but I was the top of my class, was admitted to a full time gifted school and I'm now a professor. I'm glad my parents didn't hold me back, I was like a racehorse in a cage before kindergarten started and burst out of the gates :)

I was red shirted. It was useful in some ways, and I can absolutely see the argument for it. The big negative that I experienced was being 18 in my last year of high school, with 18 being the age you can legally purchase alcohol in my province. Suddenly I was very popular with all the wrong kinds of people and I had a lot of attention that frankly I didn't have a clue how to handle. If I wasn't already firmly established as a hopeless nerd who dressed like she hated her body, (hint: she did), I'm quite certain I would have gotten into a lot more trouble than I did.

Something to consider?

By the end of my daughter's kindergarden year, there were kids that were 5 and kids that were 7!! This redshirting thing is getting ridiculous. Stop the madness!

Indiana's cut-off means children must be five on or before by August 1, not July (that hasn't been the dead-line for many years- not sure why Gladwell used it). Red-shirting is still pretty common here- especially for boys.

I was the youngest in my class and incidentally also in my extended family. I've been told that the teachers and administrators fought hard to convince my parents not put me in first grade when they did, but I've never felt like it made any difference to be 6 months younger than my friends. For whatever reason I tended to make older friends anyway.

Timely topic, indeed. There was an episode of 60 Minutes a few weeks ago that covered this very topic of "red shirting" kindergarteners.

I was so frustrated with that 60 Minutes article - age and size do not necessarily lead to success. Not to mention, the parents' focus on sports versus academics was appauling. There will always be someone who is the youngest or smallest in the class. Does giving your child an advantage negatively impact the other kids? And what does that teach our kids (about themselves)?

Kids tend to rise to the expectations you set for them. My birthday was close to the cutoff date in the state I was raised. My parents opted to have me pushed ahead, skipping kindergarten, sending me straight into the first grade. This was the best decision for me and I don't regret it in the least. It was tough sometimes being so much younger than my classmates - the last to drive, drink, etc. - but as with so many "challenges" we encounter, this made me who I am.

I'm with the people who are saying that this doesn't belong on AT.

PLEASE give us a feed that is JUST design. No food, no family, no birthday parties. I just want design.

I have two August born daughters, and our district's cutoff is Sept.1. I've sent them both to kindergarten when they were 5 - the first, because she was reading at 3 and needed more academic opportunities than I had patience to provide; and the second, because she was a preemie who may have needed intervention from the schools, which is only available in "special ed" preschool (that we couldn't have afforded) , or regular kindergarten classes. My older daughter is flourishing socially and academically, my younger daughter is absolutely average for an incoming 1st grader, which all things considered, is beyond our wildest dreams. I, too, was the youngest in my class and it always seemed an advantage. In high school, I was no more awkward than a braces clad and glasses wearing, Austen-quoting AP English nerd ought to be. In college, I was 17 and "on my own" - everyone thought I was such a rebel! I do get frustrated with red shirting; there is no reason why my 5 year old, perfectly legally in kindergarten, should get pushed around by anyone's 7 year old who "needs" to be that much stronger, bigger, or (dubiously) smarter than the rest of the group. The argument that I, too, could have beaten the system and held my child back and had the same advantage is ridiculous; there has to be some balance between helping our children succeed and teaching them that they can always find a way to weasel an advantage over others.

Please keep AT pure. This is an interesting topic, but it does not belong here.

I had the opposite issue - I was always the youngest in my class, but also the most advanced academically. But I wasn't allowed to skip forward because my parents and teachers worried about me being so much younger than my "peers." I see what they were getting at, but it was also weird to be in a class with people close to my age, working on material that was so dramatically different from what I was doing. It was less of a big deal once I hit high school, with A.P. classes where grade level wasn't as emphasized, although I still did a lot of tutoring. I'm relieved to be past all that, at an age where I can define my peers without tying it to age.

Meanwhile, one of my best friends, who was redshirted, and who was valedictorian of her school, lied to her friends about her birthday until she was 30, first because she was afraid people would think she'd failed a grade, and later because she was afraid people would think she was top of the class because she "cheated" instead of because she was really smart. (And she is really smart.)

Meanwhile, my sister, who was borderline on the cutoff, repeated kindergarden because she had a reading disorder, and it seemed like she'd do better as the oldest kid than as the youngest kid. She wound up smack in the middle with both sports and academics - average. She worried that "average" was "stupid," but went on to be a successful artist and a pretty funny writer.

Which I guess goes to show it's really about the kid, that it's all about tradeoffs, and that given support most people will wind up okay - and will wind up like themselves.

My nursery school (ages 2-4/5 in the UK) had an interesting compromise for this problem - the older half of the year started school in September, while the younger half stayed in nursery until January. Both sets of kids did exactly the same activities in that time period, but they found that keeping the younger ones in a familiar environment with more one-to-one support (without the older ones there) made them more confident and eased the subsequent transition to school.

My parents are both teachers, and they sent me there specifically because I was one of the youngest in my year and they believed it would help me to be kept in nursery for an extra term. It must have worked, because I did very well at school. Unfortunately, it wasn't a universal policy among nurseries so the local authority made them stop doing it a few years ago.

In Australia, until recently, the trend was to hold children back, especially if they were male. However, since recent studies here have shown that in fact it looks like those who start young have an advantage that goes right up to matriculation, the tide is turning here, and more and more people are sending them as soon as they can - back to what it was like when I was a kid.

Don't undervalue the importance for your children to be turning the same age as their peers while in school. That should be the general factor. If they are markedly behind, hold them back. If they are markedly ahead, put them ahead. Thats all.

Where I started school the sports and the school systems weren't even on the same page so this advantage didn't really work out. Being a November Birthday I turned the same age as everyone else in my class since you all had to be the same age by the first day of school. Sports however were completely disconnected and I was always playing with kids who were a grade ahead, but born in the same year.

Has anyone considered the effect on your child once he is an adult? I've read a lot of comments focusing on the reputed childhood advantages of red shirting. They may be true, but not for all kids. If you child is having problems or is too immature, maybe. just maybe this is a good idea to take this chance and to hold him back to help him cope with school. If he is doing fine and you red shirt him to give him some kind of perceived edge over his peers, it may seem like a good idea, but your child will not be a child forever. What you are doing is depriving him of one year of adulthood to give him a grade school advantage. Will he think that it was worth it when he is spending an additional year of his life in college and is not out there earning his living with his peers? When his career launch or launch into independence is dragging on for another additional year? Life is short. Do you really want to deprive him of a year of adulthood for what may be only a perceived social advantage in childhood? Ask yourself this, Is it good for a child to fail a grade in school? Is it good for them and does it give them an advantage? Most parents would say no, it does not, that the child is being held back while his peers advance. Well, red shirting is doing the exact same thing without the academic stigma attached. Don't bargain a year of your child's adult life away for the possibility of a little more glory in elementary school.

More on the effects of red shirting later in life. Your child will find out. Families talk, friends talk, teachers talk to each other and children hear more than we think they do. What will you say when they ask you why you held them back a year? No matter how tactful, loving and gentle you try to be, is there any good way for a parent to tell a child that they didn't think that they could cope? Almost every child on the planet will hear that as they were not good enough, that they didn't make the cut, no matter what words you use to explain your decision. That's especially difficult to hear from a parent. And if you think that there is a ten year old alive who would welcome the thought of going to school a year longer than his peers, well....you've forgotten your own childhood.

My youngest son has an early November birthday, and we live in a Dec.1 cutoff state. We red-shirted him before Kindergarten and never regretted it, even though my in-laws gave us a really hard time about it. When he finally started school, he found several other boys who also had October/November birthdays whose parents did the same thing, so it felt normal to him. We live next door to a boy who was born in Feb. of the same year as my son. The difference between the two was dramatic. Even my son said it would have been hard for him to keep up with kids who were almost a year older than him. I have another friend with a son who was born about a week before mine and she started her son at age 5. He ended up repeating Kindergarten, and went through school always feeling like he wasn't smart because he was "left back". Anyway, my son is 26 years old now and has never felt less smart or that we felt he couldn't cope with school. Back then, he was actually happy to have an extra year with Mommy. You are the parent. You know your child better than anyone. If you feel that your child needs an extra year, then give it to him and don't be concerned with what others think.

I was NOT red shirted, something I've always appreciated. I was academically advanced and still often bored in my classes, I probably could have skipped a grade or two and still been fine. I was out of college and working full-time (and ready for it) by age 20, which gave me quite a few extra years to figure things out with what I wanted to do, go back to grad school and end up in my desired field by age 25. I also did not red shirt my daughter with a summer birthday for similar academic reasons. I want her to stay challenged. Kids who always find school work easy and are not challenged as hard generally don't take risks as often and are more afraid to fail (in my opinion.) Always being most successful at everything is not necessarily the best way to serve our kids. It is also important to teach them how to recover from failure and how to work hard at things. Red shirting is often an attempt at setting kids up with guaranteed success, this may be good for self-esteem, but not building character or other qualities that are also important. I think it is kid-specific, of course, but in general making things "easier" on our kids doesn't seem to me the end-goal of parenting.

I agree with Kathy C that parents should do what is best for their children and not pay attention to what other people say. I am also sure that her son was happy, and many parents would also be happy, to have more time with their children before sending them off to school. I would have loved to stay home another year with my mother instead of trooping off to school with the other kids. But how would a child feel as a 19 year old senior in high school with 17 and 18 year old classmates? Her son was lucky. Apparently, there were a group of children held back by their parents, so he found plenty of company and was not alone. Things may have turned out differently if he were the only older kid passing as younger in a lower grade. She gives two examples of children who were enrolled at the regular times and did not fare so well. She does not talk about the thousands enrolled at the proper time that did very well indeed or why she thought that her son ran the risk of being left behind. Again, it is up to the parents. I only ask that they 1) take it on a case by case basis. If you kid really needs it, if he or she is having trouble sitting down and following directions to the point that she will not do well in class or can not concentrate at age lever, by all means hold them back. and 2) count the cost in later life before easing their way in school by slipping them in with the younger kids. A six year old or a seven year old will outshine a group of five year olds. No question. But the five year olds will catch up. As a teacher, I can assure you that that is true. And catch up time comes sooner than you think. By the third or forth grade, those regular admission five year olds have caught up academically if not physically. So the year off buys an academic advantage that dissipates rather quickly while the year lost to adulthood is permanent. It's your decision. You are the parent. But think it through.

Unfortunately, I don't remember the magazine I read this article in. However, it featured a woman who tried to redshirt her son in Chicago Public Schools. She kept her son home for an extra year. The following year, she went to register him in kindergarten and they told her he was of the age to be entering first grade and that is where he would be placed. The woman tried to fight this decision but ultimately could do nothing about it and her son ended up missing his K year and being placed in 1st grade. If you are considering doing this, I would strongly suggest verifying the rules/practices in your school district.

For what it's worth, I was always the youngest in my class but didn't mind at all. In fact, I ended up graduating college right before my 21st birthday and really appreciated having what felt like a head start (compared to folks my same age).

We held our son back a year due to a May birthday. We (and he!) never regretted it. He made straight A's from kindergarten through high school. He went to an "early college high school" where he graduated with 72 college hours (a associate arts degree) which meant that when he started at the University of Texas as a junior. Oh yea, what else? He taught himself Biology so that he could take the Biology AP test which he aced. Students at his high school who were enrolled in the traditional Biology class did not do as well. He took two additional AP tests, both of which he aced which made him a member of an elite group in Texas -- "Texas Scholars". What else? He was accepted to three Ivy League schools and the University of Texas @ Austin on full scholarship to the Honors Program in the Cockrell School of Engineering. What else? Valedictorian of his high school class which, in the state of Texas qualifies you to free tuition. We were criticized for holding him back a year yet none of his friends who started school at a very young age 5 ever came close to competing. What can about all this? Trust your own judgement. Bottom line? Most children are too immature to handle school; waiting almost always pays off, particularly with boys.

My family moved provinces when I was about to ready to start school. I'm a December baby and the cut off here is October. But my parents pushed me ahead a year. I was always the youngest in my grade. In fact, and we joke about this all the time, my best friend in the same grade as me is 1 year and 1 week older than me, and her younger brother who is 2 grades lower than me, is only a few days younger than me. Beside the point though.

I know it was not meant this way, but I am somewhat offended that some parents might think being the youngest in your grade is in some way a disadvantage. I never had any problems being the youngest. To be perfectly honest, it didn't matter. No one cared. No one noticed. Obviously, if there is a maturity issue or whatnot, that's another situation entirely. But just holding your kid back for the sake of it because you think them being the youngest among their peers is a disadvantage? Way to show your child that you have confidence in their success. Maybe it doesn't mean much now, but think about how they will feel later on in life when you have to reveal why you held them back... I'm sure that's going to make them feel all warm and fluffy in side.

In any case, I took my being one year younger than my peers as an advantage, especially later in life. I graduated high school and started university when I was 17. I finished university when I was 21. I take that extra year as a "gift" to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Honestly, the only time I noticed I was younger than everyone else was when people were starting to drive. I took the written classes with them even though I was only 15, but couldn't physically drive or get my beginner's license until a year later. Didn't matter - I got to be chauffeured around by them! Score! ;)

Anyway, I am very grateful to have been the youngest person in my class. I always felt like I fit in with my peers, and hey, being the youngest, when you can hold your ground and even excel above the older kids, it does give you that little extra boost of confidence.

I do not see how being the oldest is any more of an advantage, and it seems silly to hold your child back just so they will be the oldest. That's ridiculous, and an abuse of the school system. The rules are there for a reason.

Being born in early November, I was always one of the youngest, if not the youngest, one in the class. Sure there were more intelligent children in my classes, but there were also many less intelligent children in my classes.

I think the idea of keeping kids out of school until they are a little older is great, but for different reasons. Schools are increasingly focused on academics and testing in even kindergarten and first grade. Letting them wait to start kindergarten or do two years allows them to stay "young" a little longer and do what 4 and 5 year olds should be doing developmentally--playing and moving! We are in Waldorf school, and most children do two years of kindergarten and must be six by May 1 before starting first grade. It's amazing how ready the kids are to take on academics when they have been given the time grow a bit!

Am I the only one who finds nearly everything in this conversation disturbing? Parents, get a grip.

As a girl with an October birthday, I started school as a 5, almost 6-year-old, as the cutoff was Sept. 1. Eventually we moved states to one with a Dec. cutoff, and I ended up skipping a grade. By that point (3rd grade), I already saw myself as one of the smart kids and, did fine in school and loved being one of the younger kids in my class. But I think it depends on the child's readiness/maturity level and maybe on gender too. My younger brother had a November birthday, and my parents to this day (he's 25) have regretted starting him in school when he was 4. He just wasn't ready and was always getting into trouble because he wasn't as mature as his classmates. He usually had pretty understanding teachers, but he still struggled. That can be tough on a little kid's ego and sense of self worth. I have my own girl and boy - both October birthdays - and I'm not planning on starting either of them in school until they are 5.

My sister is a kindergarten teacher and she said, like many other comments, it is better to hold your children back a year if they are right on the line. She said that even though the younger children had the intelligence, that many times the younger child did not have the maturity. She spent many days comforting a crying child that was just not ready for school yet.

When my mother sat down for my her first parent teacher conference with my Kindergarten teacher many years ago, the teacher said to her: "So I see here your daughter's birthday is in October -- so that makes her five." My mother smiled and corrected her, "No, she's actually four." My teacher, gentle to my mother's apparent miscalculation responded "No, she's five, dear." This went back and forth until my mother, now a little taken aback, explained that she had indeed given birth to me, and I was four, not five. That being said, I was always one of the youngest in my class and excelled, always earning top grades and placing in the top percentiles for testing. In all honesty, the only disadvantages I ever found for being young for my grade came later in school -- getting my license later, turning 21 last in college, but never do I recall ever feeling my young age put me at disadvantage in terms of my intelligence or ability to adapt to a new setting or socialize with others. Obviously this varies from child to child -- my parents knew I was emotionally and intellectually ready for school, and I think it's a choice that every parent has to base on their child's development.

I was born on December 21st and teased mercilessly for being a baby. I could read as well or better than most of my classroom, but could not tie my shoes. I remember my parents were happy I could attend school that young, though, because I really wanted to go. Would the teasing have been different if I started later? Probably not, just a new group of kids. I always ended up hanging out with older or younger kids though.

I was in a way red shirted as a child. We lived overseas and when I moved back to Fairfax, VA in 5th grade I repeated the 5th grade. I had a cut off September birthday so it worked. My international schoolling was great but my parents felt I would feel more at home learning the American ways doing the 5th grade over. Since my old school was soo different I really didn't actually re-do anything. It was all new and I got to then be the oldest. I loved it!

I turned 6 in October of my Kindergarten year, making me one of the oldest kids in my class. (Our cutoff was age 5 by September 30.) Already proficient at basic reading and writing, I was SO INCREDIBLY BORED and started making up excuses and illnesses so I didn't have to go. My parents and the school agreed to bump me up to first grade midway through the year, making me the youngest in my class. Thank God my parents paid attention to my needs; I still graduated at the top of my class and went to a great college. The age difference was meaningless. Hopefully this "redshirting" trend means that parents are paying attention to their kids' needs and abilities, and making their decisions based on the kids' cognitive and emotional development -- not based on some hypothetical opportunity for the kid to have an "advantage."

For a bit of a different perspective than this post, last fall there was an opinion piece in the New York Times coauthored by two scientists that suggests redshirting is a disadvantage to children. Worth reading if you are thinking about this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html

Wow. This is a hot topic. Interesting to hear all the responses. I'm with Aninhas (3rd from top). I'm neither a parent, nor an educator, but I started 1st grade when I was 5 and graduated high school when I was 17. It never really seemed to make a difference and I liked being a little younger than everyone else. Maybe, if I had been athletic and been in sports it would have, but I was the brainy type, thirsting to learn. That's why my parents let me start school so early.

i don't agree with this at all. being Canadian i had never heard of this phenom. til this article.

ppl should have more faith in their kids. throw them out there, let them learn, flourish, blossom and achieve in their own time.

the child who is aware that his/her parents were trying to 'fudge' the system will think that this is acceptable in all aspects of life. they are not being taught to take the bull by the horns.

i have a daughter who is extremely timid, but very smart. afraid to take chances, yet has teachers clamoring over who will have her as a pupil. if i had held her a year back she might have been ever so slightly confident, but possibly bored academicly.

let the kids be kids, and maybe we should keep our own aspirations to ourselves.

i was a June kid, right on time for school, Mensa level IQ, dad who was hell bent determined on making me the next super scientist... and it all backfired. he was left resenting the fact that i didn't turn out to be what he wanted and pushed so hard for, and i was left trying to pick up the pieces and find myself at 22-23 yrs old.

the kids are alright.

AT people, chill, this is probably supposed to be on the family/odeedoh part of the site.

As a high school teacher and parent, I honestly think that the people that have Kindergarten-ready kids and do this for the sports reason, do it because they can't fathom being able to afford college for their kids 13 years from now, so they want their kids to get scholarships. Why else would a parent care so much that their kid was the best or biggest on the sports team?

Middle and lower-income working families don't think twice about sending their kid to FREE kindergarten instead of paying another year of preschool/daycare.

If your kid is emotionally and academically ready, send them! Really, if you're even reading this post, hopefully you're already the kind of parent/person that wouldn't assume the teacher is the only one who teaches your child.... and that you need to reinforce and practice at home too. If you do that, your child should do well no matter how old they enter school.

@ MCGRATHINNOLA - YES!!! Great perspective and I think you are 100% right. Great post, Elisabeth! Obviously a lot of feeling about this on both sides. And I wish the crabbies would keep their comments to themselves. Remember what we learned in Kindergarten: If you can't say anything nice... Well, you know the rest.

Childhood doesn't have to be a competition! If you're considering waiting because your child is a little immature, it could likely be helpful. But if you're thinking in terms of what you as a parent can do to artificially control your child's success in the world, you may be a helicopter parent and might want to let your kid breathe a little. Your kid will be much better off if you instill skills and values such as not gaming the system and not growing up thinking that he or she deserves better than other kids and that parents will find a way to make it happen.