SUCH a great post. Haven't enjoyed myself so much in a while.

Yes! to all of the above. Did anyone say the following yet?
1.Dark rooms
2.Black floral carpets, especially with yellow flowers
3.Stuffed animals and any other animal parts that legitimately belong on some other creatures’ back or head or grave. No offense, but very few of these things are irreplaceable w.r.t. their design contribution.
4.Huge heavy furniture that towers over you and was made yesterday. Dressers so tall they make you feel undersized.
5.Ruffled shower curtain, especially lacy red ones
6.Tasteless modern recreations of old things, i.e. faux vintage.
7.DIY impulses gone wild; extends to 'folksy' and 'ethnic' without humor, irony or reflexive judgment.

Omg, puffy curtain toppers!! I actually helped someone decorate her Mcmansion with them as little as 5 yrs ago. At the time, I thought it useless and eccentric, but went along. Oh, I plead guilty to ignorance that such things existed! Same house had red lacy shower curtains and same owner didn’t want ‘African’ things in her house. Shiver.

Get your barf bags, and have a nice seat, because I think I can top these.
My youngest oh my God moment happened when I was 12. I had a decent blue room, with drapes that blocked out alot of the sun.
One day my step mom decided to paint my walls canary yellow. She hung bright yellow shades, and on the closet she hung dark brown cork board for my rock star posters.
She hung a rainbow over my bed, and had an ugly green macrame frog she hung over my radiator. I had a williamsburg blue chair, and avocado carpet.
She was awlays yelling at me for leaving the light on. It was the sun coming thru the shades.
We moved to a red house.
The house had tons of potential, but my parents are not the decorating type. I'd dream up colors in my head, and what I would have done. Strange for a 14 year old.
Inside in evey room was short loop dark red carpet. In the master bedroom bath had yellow tiles with that carpet. The kitchen had a brown fridge, stove, washer, and dryer. My room was the worst. Red and white quilt style wall paper, even the ceilings, and the closets were mint green.
As an adult I have fixed up alot of places. One was a hippy flop house. They carpeted the walls and over the windows. Another was a farm house where the land lord was a peeping tom. when I trimmed the hedge he evicted me. He demanded I keep a moldy matress in one on the upstairs bedrooms. It was a souvenier of an old girlfriend, and it was moldy. I duct taped the door cracks, that also made him mad. The duct tape helped keep in the moldy smell...
My last Iowa house nailed the front door shut. They had wall to wall carpet in every room in the house. They milked cows and didn't take their boots off, so the house smelled like cow shit, and I had to bleach and bleach after tearing out all the carpet. The upstairs bedrooms had chocolate brown carpet. My roomate's room walls were peach, mine were carnation pink. The teen girl grafittied down the stairs, and on the wood trim, in crayon how much she hated her mother.
All of this prepared me for this house!
I moved in with my much older boyfriend who's wife died.
She NEVER threw anything away. I am still throwing out papers from the 80's. She saved soap slivers in a box, under the sink. That and her sex toys, and old fashioned douche sets freaked me out. The garbage was amazing, and everytime I think I have the upper hand on it, I find piles more. I found expired canned goods from 2002.
But her decorating, My God!
When you come in the front door, you step onto old linoleum. The walls are pale yellow. In the first living room is a nice blue victorian sofa, some nice antique lamps, and nice end tables. The coffee table was nice.
Then the bad. Boogar gold shag carpet.
In a plant room the same carpet, and dead plant leaves, and junk mail as far back as the early 90's stacked on a stained blue velour window seats.
The half drape was sewn on so I couldn't do anything but throw this plant stained thing in the trash.
2 Desks were in there, and a plastic file box filled with trash. She kept prescription forms as far back as 1946.
Also, Im the new lady of the house. Keep this in mind.
There were pictures of his dead wife over the fire place, over the one desk. On the desk, and her christening paper framed by the desk.
Lets go to the kitchen.
Ceiling and walls are Williamsburg blue. Nailed to the cabinets are while ducks with hearts.
On the stove is a ribbon neck duck trivet and 2 ribbon neck duck cookie jars!!!
The wall paper border, ribbon neck ducks!
Towels, pot holders, wash rags, meat platters, cups, saucers, bowls, plates, soap dispensors, and on the shelves, RIBBON NECK DUCKS!
I used to scoot my food over them so I wouldn't have to look at them while I ate.
There were so many of them I wanted to go to a farm, and tie a blue ribbon around a white duck's neck, and shoot it. But I like animals too much.
The tv room. Blue carpet, blue furniture, blue throw rugs, blue drapes. Too much BLUE!
And pictures of the deceased on the end tables, and on top of the tv, as well as her Valentine stuffed animal collection. I dont know about you, but I dont like other women's stuffed animals.Especially poodles with I love you embroidered on them!
The hall. Yellow. With a hand drawn picture of the deceased,and picture when she won some olympic event
The room I slept in when we argued over all her pics, all over the house had a "book case headboard" if that is such a thing. He filled it with Zane Grey books, and they fell on my head all night long. That room had 2 yellow walls and Mrs. Perfect Wife wallpapered the other 2 for a bizarre half and half look. She had an assortment of reproduction mixmatched lamps on the oversize dresser.It had beige half drapes.
The master bedroom. 3 pictures of the deceased. Some needle point. At the foot of the bed was a farm cutsy boy and girl kissing. They made a plaque that said Don and Muffins, and their wedding date. When I slept in there that was what I saw first. If I turned over I had 2 8x10's of her staring at me, and a smaller pic of her on the dresser I couldn't bear to use. It was like she was staring at me!
It had 3 yellow walls, and one mauve and white polka dot wallpapered wall, and forest green carpet. Ona beige drapes.
I couldn't be intimate with him, with her staring at me. I woke up, and saw the wedding plaque, I rolled over, and saw her, when I went to the bathroom, her pic was staring at me in the hall.It made me feel like his mistress, not his girlfriend.
I threatened to break up, my 2nd year of living here, if he couldn't put those away, and to drive my point home, I began hanging my ex's pic wherever I saw hers! Finally they came down!
The basement (or cemetary).
The stairwell is blue with a blue ceiling, and brown carpet. The main thing you see down there is dead animal heads. 3 dead deer legs tied together with a light socket on top, and hideous lamp shades. HE has alot of those "amputated lamps". A bar thats cluttered in junk so you cant use it.
A blue walled and carpeted room with cat crap everywhere, and dead animal heads, horns, and legs.
A blue bathroom. God, these people sure loved blue.
A pool table surrounded with more dead animals.
A tool room that the way these folks put away their tools was to pitch them on top the floor like bowling balls. Trash too, and staples, tacks, broken glass, and nails. I've been trying to clean this mess up.Mostly with bloody feet.
A yellow laundry room with matching venetion blinds, and last but not least. The ugliest room I've EVER seen!!!
A bedroom.
It had long gold shag carpet. A bed with mauve sheets, a gold blanket, a mauve blanket, a ruffly white bed skirt, with matching pillow shams.
One wall was white, the entry door was unpainted, the closet door was white, and so was the trim. 2 walls were wallpapered in a golden hay pattern, and the other was leftover mauve and white pokla dots from the master bedroom with matching half drapes.
If you can top my house, I feel sorry for you.
Im moving, this place is that bad, that I'm going to move, or I will be fixing it until Im 70.
I hate:
All carpet.
All wallpaper including borders.
RIBBON NECK DUCKS
Dead animals. What do they mean by trophies? These are dead animals.
Half drapes.
Metal venecian blinds.
Toilet hoodies.
Toilet rugs.
Toilet tank toppers.
Padded toilet seats.
Any carpet in the bathroom or kitchen for any reason.
Rugs that cant be washed in a washing machine.
Any non swiffer style mop.
Any non flushable toilet brush and toilet plungers that arent kept in a container like a painted nicely coffee can...
Sand in paint used indoors. Southwest adobe excluded.
Country cute.
Over use of any color. Example blue.
Pressed wood furniture.
Clutter, garbage, piles of junk.
Clothing thats not either in the wash, on you, or put away.
Dirty dishes, and full trash cans! Also unflushed toilets!!!
Mail left on tables or the floors.
And porno pics of your boyfriends previous relationship, and any of her "personal" stuff.(ie: douches and ky)
Your boyfriend hanging up pictutes of prevous relationships.
I may think of more later, but this is a good start.
OH YEAH, when I was a kid my parents propped up these broken painted wagon wheels at our driveway posts. I hated those too!

extreme sea creatures/dolphin art, southwest heritage themes, and anything farm animals. that about covers it.

Black leather or pleather overstuffed sofas, with chrome and glass living room tables, fake indoor "silk" trees and floral arrangements, lots of burgundy and gold pseudo Tuscany look decor; area rugs ontop of wall to wall carpet, "popcorn"ceilings, aluminum framed windows, family photos in small frames (no mats), arraigned on wall behind sofa, or one portrait photo in the middle of a large wall behind sofa, shelves with knick knacks and "collectables".

I read this at work, and was trying so hard to stifle laughter, I was tearing up.

My own mom (bless her) is perpetually remodeling the 1980's middle-income suburbia home where I grew up. I think she and my dad have single-handedly kept the local oak supplier in business with their floor-to-ceiling oak kitchen. (I now hate entire rooms done in one type of wood, regardless of species.) She and my dad recently installed carpet that, despite being sold in the 21st Century, is very, very shag. They decided to do half of the upstairs now, and the bedrooms, which still have the 90's beige, later.

Other highlights from my mom's decor? A red Oriental rug and seafoam lace valance in the living room, fake flower arrangements, teddy bears, roosters and birdhouses, wallpaper, puffy curtain valances, stained glass, wicker, puffy cream leather couch, a t.v. in every room, “collections.” Every year, her lawn ornaments reproduce, and average out at about 4-5 dozen. At one point in my life, I contributed to the nautical stenciling in our hallway bathroom. Half of the living room “décor” consists of dog beds (and old bedding) for their multiple labs.

I think "chez shoes" said it best, and shared my sentiments exactly, with: "No wonder I'm a minimalist now!"

I hope my mom never sees this! :)