For years I've always turned into a little Christmas elf around the holidays. Full of joy, giving, wrapping, making, it's one of my favorite times of year, but the last several years, the holidays can feel more like a burden than a joy. Here are a few ways I'm trying to psych myself into enjoying them.
There are many folks out there who aren't as infatuated with the holidays as others. They might not be a grinch, but holiday times can equal a great deal of stress, travel and work. They can mean long hours at the office or bills piling up and there's always taxes due this time of year, the whole thing can just be a big fat mess.
To keep myself lively I've decided on 3 things. Are you ready? Here goes:
• Focus on the Moment: There will always be stresses in life, taxes to pay and often gifts to buy. Don't let all that invade the moment you're currently sharing with family or friends, possibly even on your own. Enjoy that warm cup of hot chocolate for what it is. Enjoy the sparkly lights and the smiles on children's faces, just don't let the rest of the world weigh you down.
• Have a "Me" List: Many have small nostalgic things about the holidays. It could be food related and you love the little holiday cookies in the tin that comes out, or possibly a homemade treat like Grandma used to make. For others it might be snowman building or sleigh riding, but whatever the case, make your list and get to it. That way when times have you down you can pick something from the list to take care of instead.
• Count Your Blessings: There's no mystery here, the time you take to stop and count your blessings (one by one), will come back on you 10 fold. You might be down in the dumps and irritated, but the moment you realize how thankful you are for things that you have, your world will suddenly be brighter. It's a great way to remember the reason for the season, no matter what that is in your home.
Hopefully with these tips you can learn to overcome your own inner scrooge and be less of a grinch. You don't have to love the holidays and they'll always come with a certain amount of baggage. The trick is to make time and focus on what's most important.
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I say just embrace your inner scrooge. We all have our roles to play...
Being unemployed and broke in a difficult economy *will* do that -- Christmas becomes one more burden you could do without.
Great ideas, since scroogyness gets us nowhere, and the season gives us opportunities to connect with old friends and new friends.
I'm with sberry. We do have a role to play and I play it to the hilt during Xmas.
It takes refinement to "Scrooge" properly... I have given up obligatory holiday actions like visiting family I don't get along with (I phone, it's enough) or buying presents for people whose taste I don't know or that I don't care a lot about. There are a lot of holiday burdens that are foist upon us by other people's expectations. Once you are an established Scrooge, that goes away! Then you can celebrate to the degree and intensity you really want to, you can give only the gifts you want to give with a happy heart, you can live up to your OWN expectations -- and let the rest go away!
If you are broke and you think you have to spend five hundred dollars per family member and fifty dollars per friend, or something, naturally you are going to be miserable. If, on the other hand, you accept the reality of your financial situation (which probably those who know you already have done) and focus instead on only those you really want to do something for, you can probably figure out a gift that will be special and doable. Maybe you make a batch of fudge or cookies (or, if my father lived close at hand, butterscotch pie) that they love but never get. Maybe you pet sit or create a memory scrapbook or track down a used copy of that beloved book they just can't find... I associate Scrooge with not spending money as much as the "bah, humbug" and personally, on my salary, that's totally reasonable. And "Bah, Humbug" to obligations! That's reasonable too!
My tradition: sitting by myself after dealing with the trimming of the family tree and watching Mickey's Christmas Carol, followed immediately by White Christmas. Thanks for the picture!
I think you have to limit the outside influences - especially if you're on a budget - TV bombardment and stores decorating in October can be such a downer when by the time December rolls round its been Christmas for 3 months!
I find that I focus a lot more on those things that annoy me than on things that make me happy, especially on my commute. In my area there's one station that plays Christmas music, and I listen to it on my ride home. I feel like the universe is daring me to be in a bad mood when I can sing along with my favorite holiday tunes.
@minuet42 I love White Christmas! In fact, when Sarah listed "count your blessings" the "Blessings" number popped into my head.
I'm swamped this year and it's kind of freaking me out. I'll be totalling over 1500 miles of driving by the end of December and I'm booked every single weekend. When it starts to feel like too much, I remind myself that I'm super excited about the things I'm doing. Volunteering, baking with my mom and sister (a holiday tradition of epic cookiemaking!) and entertaining friends and family are all things I love to do. Sure, it would be easier if it was all spread out but that doesn't mean that it isn't still wonderful.
I find that avoiding the commercial scene (not going shopping) and having a DVR to fast forward through holiday TV helps.. Then when it comes to the baking, spending time with loved ones, and crafting gifts, it feels a little more sentimental and nostalgic, hushing the inner scrooge.
I think the holidays should be enjoyed once every three or five years instead of annually.
I couldn't agree with @curlsz more, limiting the outside influences really helps me keep my spirits high and stay focused on what's important about the season, I'm a bit of a holiday movie junkie but now I have my all favorites on DVD so I do Not have to listen to the up/down of TV commercials and the news during the season.
I think people try to take on way too many things during the holidays.
You don't have to attend every party that you are invited to.
You don't have to send out 300 Xmas cards or buy gifts for everyone that you know.
You don't have to spend 2 weeks making high fat, high sugar cookies with red and green frosting and then listen to people complain that they gain weight during the holiday.
You don't have to spend an entire Saturday at the mall and buy gifts that are beyond your budget.
Do what you feel you can handle and let the rest go.
That doesn't make you a Scrooge, it makes you smart.
Buying people useless crap that they neither want nor need makes me feel Scroogey, so instead, I keep a year-round list of ideas for presents in my Google Documents.
My mom mentioned months ago that her blender is old and crapping out. She will be happy and surprised to see one under the tree because I wrote that info down in September. My sister admired a wine bottle rack in June that she'll be shocked to see again. Being a good elf is very stress-relieving!
A few years ago, my brothers and I got together with my husband at the time and my mom. All of us were BROKE. We decided on a one-present Christmas: Each person buys a present for each other person, with an emphasis on quality and thought rather than dollars spent. That was the best Christmas ever, and the brothers and I have kept up the tradition ever since then. It's SO easy to get through the month only having to buy one present for each person!
Also, sitting down on your butt and thoroughly enjoying a cup of coffee (or tea, or eggnog, or a beer) during an otherwise busy and stressful day is an awesome way to decompress.
Sarah Rae, you are by far my favourite writer on AT. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I love all your posts - creative, fun, witty, thoughtful, unique... you always hit the nail on the head!
With a serious illness in the family, this could very well be the "last" Christmas. That's a lot to live up to....
@paintitbright - So sorry to hear that. That must be incredibly wearing, I wish you the best!
I'd be a lot less Scrooge-like if I could just eliminate shopping from the Holidays. But my family just will. not. go along with that, so when I go home for the holidays we spend our time a frazzled mess at the mall. My least favorite place on earth!
PS-- That frame of Scrooge McDuck is so unexpectedly gorgeous! The hand-drawn and -painted cartooning that went into that is amazing.
As another one with the potential of not many christmases to go, but the one ill, may I suggest giving that person the christmas they really want, not making it one for everyone else to have a bit of them?
I am fed up with having to be nice about family who have refused to contact me since my diagnosis. I also am fed up with people spending too much money on things I dont need or want - would rather a quiet time sitting with beautiful music and people & food/drink I want, not what "has" to be done.
I also get tired of so many obligations.
My favorite memories of Christmas when I was a kid involved going and cutting down the tree, then putting the lights on it and lying down on the floor and looking up through the tree to see the patterns it made on the ceiling. This is something my Dad would do with us every year.
Then Ms. Heliotrope, YOU get to be the Queen of your Christmas and you decide who you want about you and have a friend make sure you have your music and lights and a delightful menu. This is what all of us should be doing..investing in ourselves and the best of the people we enjoy around us..the rest of it all means little..take care and don't waste another minute thinking about what others think will make themselves happy....(MissHeliotrope)
What I try to do is to keep the parts of the holidays that I like and ditch the rest. I don't spend money I don't have. I don't go to parties with people I don't like (I was invited to spend Thanksgiving with the incredibly dysfunctional family I work for--no thanks!) And a big one for me is that I don't buy "obligation" presents--I don't like feeling like a hypocrite, so if I don't like you, I'm not getting you a present. I was trying to make a quilt for my boyfriend, but it was massively stressing me out, so I've decided to finish it later. What matters to me is spending time with my little family here, so that's what I'm doing.
I wish I could give you a hug, MissHeliotrope! I hope some of those people who've let you down come through for you--the ones that matter will. All the best to you.
This bleakest season both reminds me of lost loved ones and repulses me with phony cheery commercialism. Every year gets better for me but, if tradition burdens you, then cheerfully tell the usual suspects early that instead you'll be taking a vacation trip. Your breaking tradition probably would relieve all involved even if they're too nice and polite to say so, because nobody likes being taken for granted by an unappreciative, resentful person. Instead, go somewhere interesting where you're unknown, do something fun without inflated expectations, and be incommunicado until January. Start 2012 with an attitude improved by solitude, a change of pace, and fresh memories.
I love the above suggestion.
Citrus fruits, baking holiday cookies, hunting for a fresh Christmas tree, and making all of my Christmas presents either homemade or vintage (except the boyfriend's craftsman tools) is going to make this the best Christmas ever. I am actually unemployed as well, but am really looking forward to having the extra time to spend on the little things that fell by the wayside in the past.
I don't know, some people just don't like Christmas. No big deal.
I say, if you want to play at scrooge, just don't ruin other people's cheer. Try decorating a tree with a scrooge standing there, makig cruel comments. Telling them to stop doesn't work--because that's how they want to be. Scrooging alone is fine, but in a group, no one wants them around!
I agree with Miamis and Keeks! Do your own thing, don't impose it, just do it.