As an additional tidbit when bringing spirits/wine. Do not insist or even expect the host/hostess to use it for that day as choices may have already been made to serve with the dinner. Of course if the person you are going to see asks you to stop and bring a bottle of something specific because they have found themselves lacking in supply...be gracious and win unending gratitude.

I always take my hosts (friends) out to a meal if I am staying with them for a few days. I love it when guests do this when they stay at our house, so I just try to treat my hosts how I like to be treated!

I always send flowers to my friend's house that let me stay with them to be delivered the day after I leave.

I love these suggestions and, as a hostess, love receiving all of them. I second the notion of bringing flowers in a vase; when you're busy greeting guests and putting the finishing touches on dinner, it's rough to have to stop to dig for a vase. Though I often bring wine as a guest, I think it's nice to think out of the box a little bit and bring something creative like coasters or candles or a box of sea salt caramels or the makings for a special cocktail.

Having hosted a number of guests over the long 4th of July weekend, I've been reflecting recently on what makes a great house guest. Our guests each offered to participate in meal preparation in some way (bringing groceries, cooking, cleaning up) and all stripped the sheets off of their beds when they left. Any of these little things is so appreciated when you have a full house!

A cook book or the latest novel is always a great gift.

A housemate had two girls from Chicago (we're in the UK) staying with us for a week a little while ago, and one evening they cooked up an amazing meal for the whole household. They even took people's various dietary requirements into account. It was delicious and they even washed up and tidied away afterwards - such a treat! My sister and I wanted to kick the boys out and let those girls move straight in.

My parents recently had some friends staying from Vancouver, and they did the same thing - went out shopping, cooked a gorgeous meal for my parents and me (entirely gluten-free for my benefit! Not even my mother does that for me) and then cleared it all up afterwards.

Not sure if it's a North American thing, but it's really unusual on this side of the Atlantic. I'm going to try and spread the practice over here! It's so luxurious to have someone cook for you at home - a brilliant way to thank someone who puts you up for more than a couple of nights.

How about bringing a board game as a present? (And cooking your hosts a meal - love that one).

As someone who has a very small house and is trying very hard to live a simpler, less wasteful lifestyle, I would not appreciate receiving souvenirs, board games, or a new French press.

But I'd love to receive flowers, consumables, or a thank you note!

When I stay with my parents I always strip the sheets, and try to do laundry, chores and cooking for my mom. But I feel comfortable in my parents' house, and I know their preferences and tendencies.

Though I would assume everyone would wash sheets before and after each houseguest, I would feel weird stripping the bed without asking first. Thoughts?

@ stylefyles, Yes, I think making up your own bed AND sending a hand written thank you note is a given if you're a houseguest. A gift, however, is compulsory. If it's a small home, where space is tight, a delicious cake, a box of candles or even an organic chicken, something a bit extravagant for the host's regular grocery list, would be a good alternative to a
"solid item" like a board game or a silver frame.

I always bring a bag or two of Stumptown coffee with me, since most of the time I am visiting ex-Portland residents who miss "their" coffee. That coffee's been everywhere--I hauled four bags to Amsterdam for a friend and I even shipped a couple bags and a grinder to thank another friend who put me and my husband up on Maui for a few days, since we realized he didn't own a grinder and loves coffee.

I like to give a big bottle of beautiful olive oil or tervis tumblers.

my husband and i have given gift cards to restaurants to out of state relatives that have put us up.

I love gifts of flowers and food. Happy as larry if guests bring one of those, especially beautiful chocs to have after dinner!

I think buying a host an item, to replace one that appears to be past its time, is really only appropriate for very close friends or very close family. You don't want your guests to be insulted, or feel that their house/things weren't good enough.
My sister had an old uni friend come over from Canada to stay a few months back, and he bought his wife who she hadn't met. My sister has always lovingly held onto an old teapot that was my grandmothers. It's chipped, it's stained and the colour has faded. But she loves it (we all do!). Her friend's wife, while trying to be helpful and gracious, bought her a new teapot and my sister was a bit taken aback, especially since she had explained the story of the teapot. She now uses the new one for guests occasionally, but I think she was a little insulted.

Please don't ever bring anyone a Golden Gate souvenir.
Even if they live in Des Moines.

All the ideas for gifts and pitching in around the house are great. Of course a sensitive guest will judge what is appropriate for the host and occasion.

I'd like to delve a little deeper into the whole "guest thing". I was raised that the guest/host obligation goes both ways, and what I see today are some guests who don't get their obligation part -- being outgoing and charming to your hosts and other guests. When you're invited you need to carry your end of the social interactions -- to talk to people you don't know, for instance, instead of sticking with the ones you do.

In the "old days" at a dinner party the host didn't seat a guest next to the person he or she came with. These days if I try to mix up people, I get negative reactions. But the fun of going out is meeting new people and having new experiences -- and it's the guest's obligation to go along with the host's plans.

I have a house guest staying for a few days *right now* and he's been helping do the dishes every day and it is flippin' awesome. (Doing the dishes is my most least favorite thing).

He's also bought beer, which is nice.

I don't expect house guests to do much of anything except enjoy their time at my house. If I'm inviting you over in the first place, it's highly unlikely you'll do something that will make me not want you to come back.

No souvenirs. Most certainly no French presses, unless specifically requested. And think twice before cooking in somebody else's kitchen without explicit permission: it is intrusive and rude.

As a host I love food gifts (I'd love flowers as well IF I didn't have cats who eat them and then throw them up!). As a guest, for local dinner party kind of thing, I tend to bring wine and a food item--often homemade bread and jam they can have the next day (I bake bread a few times each week). When we are out of town, we will take our hosts to dinner at least once, will cook if they are amenable (and won't push it if they aren't, since I prefer not to have other people cook in my kitchen) and we take some kind of food thingie from our area--we live in the home of Penzey's so may take a mixed spice box, or WI maple syrup, or great local honey, etc. Oh, and if they have pets, I always take some sort of pet toy.

I am not big on bringing flowers since well most people I know see it the way I do - it's something that' going to die in less than a week. I am the type to bring the person's favorite candy and/or ask if they would like me to fix a dessert to bring or something - and if I was planning to stay the weekend, I'd treat them to at least one meal and pay for anything extra I want around for the weekend (like diet dr pepper which I love).

I think being a good guest is being open and sensitive to the situation, and responding appropriately, which can be different every time.

If I'm playing hostess to an out of town friend who just needs a bed while job hunting locally, for instance, I appreciate it if they make as few demands on my resources and time as possible. We can discuss the boundaries (they can use the kitchen, but they should supplement the groceries if they do unless I offer, and they shouldn't expect me to cook for them since I don't even for myself!), they should handle their own cleanup and laundry, they should respect it if I need some alone time (which I am used to) rather than expecting me to be entertaining all the time...

If I'm having a party or dinner, I probably have everything under control, but it's nice to be asked if they can help, and then to HELP if I say "yes"! Bringing a gift of something THEY especially would like to add to the menu is great -- I don't drink wine, but if they like it, I'm happy if they provide their own. Or a second dessert is always lovely, if fattening. Not "stuff", though, especially plants I have to take care of or decor items I wouldn't choose myself.

The best gift is to be a great, thoughtful, considerate guest. (Or chocolate!!!) ;^)

I once went to a dinner party where one couple brought that organic pancake batter in a can and orange juice - so the hosts would have an easy breakfast the next day. I thought that was ingenious.

I once had house guests, and one of them woke up early, went out and brought back bagels and coffee for everyone - and I was incredibly grateful.

Apparently I am fixated on breakfast.

i'm with hnhkt-- i'd be weirded out if a houseguest sent me replacements for items they'd spotted around my home. if my guests are examining my homewares and determining that my french press isn't up to snuff, well, i'd rather not know about it.

also, as a guest, i'm not sure about showing up with a vase-- i think unused vases can become difficult-to-store clutter very quickly and i wouldn't want to foist that on a host. but... i can't think of a better solution to the hunting-for-a-vase conundrum.

I am allergic to various foodstuff and my husband is vegetarian, so i cook appropriate dishes as "gifts" for the family we are visiting. that way, even if they have cooked just seafood (i'm allergic) or if they haven't made any vegetarian dishes, they don't feel bad that we as guests don't have a choice of food during dinner. plus, they enjoy our dishes as well :-)

When my friends are coming from specific places to visit, they often ask if there's anything I can bring them from Chicago, or Minnesota, etc...and unless there really is something (real wild rice, for instance), I tell them that their presence is the best present. Many are poor students right now anyway, so it allows them to be courteous and for me to be understanding all at the same time.

Can I just say I had NO idea what a French Press was! I thought it was something to do with ironing. Here in Aus we call them Coffee Plungers... but I much prefer French Press!

Best gift ever: my friend left little hand-written notes hidden around my home for me to find after she'd left, thanking me, complimenting my home, and basically leaving a wonderful reminder of her visit.

Worst hostess "gift"--my (now ex) sister-in-law would "help" me by scrubbing my kitchen and otherwise cleaning around my home. I was really insulted.