My roommate has this weird habit of bursting into the bathroom when I'm using it and chatting up a storm. Though I'm used to it by now, it's really kind of rude when you think about it. I mean, hello, privacy, you know? Of course my roommate is a cat, so it's a tad bit more socially acceptable than if my roommate were a human. But it sure makes me think about the other things my furry roommate does that would be totally uncool if he were a human.
Not wiping their
Though my cat is an indoor-all-the-time feline in this apartment, for the first few years I had him he loved frolicking outside rain or shine...and tracking in all manner of dirt and rain into my apartment upon his return. There were plenty of times I found muddy cat paw prints deep into my home. (And don't even get me started on the litter tracking situation). I have door mats, why can't he use them? If he were human, I would totally consider it rude that he doesn't wipe his feet.
Stealing small objects to hide in weird spots like under the couch and bed
It's almost like a form of gaslighting when our pets steal all of our hair ties, bobby pins or other small objects, secreting them away to a hiding spot like under the couch or behind a door. It can make you think you're going a bit crazy, thinking things are disappearing. But it's just our furry roommates. We would probably not take too kindly to any human roommate stealing small objects we leave around the house and putting them in a hiding spot, yet it's almost kind of cute when you come across a pet stash.
Waking us up way too early with way too much enthusiasm
I like being cheery in the morning as much as the next person, but when your roommate puts their face a little too close to yours while you're sleeping at five in the morning and starts chatting, that's a little too much enthusiasm. And way too early. Or you know that thing when you're sleeping and you wake up but you don't want to move because then you know your dog will know you're awake and start wagging his tail and want to go outside and play? Imagine if you had to do that with a human roommate! Probably would not fly.
Insisting on eating first/constantly trying to eat off your plate
Some folks are cool with people sharing food off their plates, but I'm not one of them. Though it can be sometimes kind of funny and cute when a pet tries to grab a snack off your dinner plate, it'd be pretty annoying if a roommate did it regularly. And what if your roommate waltzed into the kitchen every time you were making dinner for yourself, stood a little too close and gave you sad eyes until you fixed them dinner first?
Not respecting your privacy
As mentioned in this post's intro paragraph, it's kind of cute when your pet likes hanging out with you while you use the bathroom. It's pretty much universally considered creepy if your roommate wanted to do that!
What would you add to this tongue-in-cheek list?!