Today marks the final episode of Parks and Recreation. In celebration of the seven glorious, hilarious, feminist, mustachioed, and Meagled seasons, here are the five best P&R pads— as well as the five worst. Gulfstream G4 jet with the wheels taken off and turned into an apartment building tragically not included.
Jeremy Jamm's Racist Retreat
Truly the worst, from the photoshopped bikini posters of Michelle Wie to all of the rampantly appropriated "Asian" ephemera.
April and Andy's Newlywed Nightmare
Before Ben can move in and teach these two how to live, April briefs him on the house rules: "You can't use the front door; you have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal usted. And no electricity after 6:00 PM. A couple more rules: if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you've been crying. There's no noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast." April and Andy might be rich in love, but they're definitely houseware-poor— unless you count a skillet full of marbles being cooked to test the smoke detector...
And of course, frisbee plates and a single fork to share. Cute!
Leslie's Crazy Hoarder House
This photo doesn't do the madness justice, but trust me when I tell you that it is a birdhouse- and old newspaper-filled madhouse and that I'm twitching just thinking about it.
Donna and Ginuine's Cold Cabin
The cabin itself is lovely, and I can't think of anything better than a weekend with Donna and/or Retta...
But the rules would stress me out: bring your own towels, no dirty shoes, upstairs is Meagle space only, no pets, and "Do you hear that bubbling hot tub upstairs? You do not have access to it." Is there anything worse than a hot tub you can hear but not use?!?
Anne's Cozy But Contaminated House
I'm not into afghans and and "tacky pictures of flowers" but that wouldn't be enough to get Ann's house on the Worst list. It's here because of possum cooties: "We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed. And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK?"
Jerry/Gary/Larry/Etc's Full-of-Love House
Jerry gets abused by his coworkers and spilled upon (by himself) all day, but at 5pm he gets to come home to a clean, airy home full of happy memories, loving daughters, and an adoring supermodel wife.
Tommy Swag's Thunderdome Tent
I enjoy canoe-in camping and all, but I could really go for soft serve ice cream, DJ Roomba, a game of pool, Cupcake Wars, paninis, and a nice comfortable dog bed to sleep on next time I'm roughing it.
Ron's Super-Secret Cabin
It's insanely secluded and beautifully rustic, especially once it's spruced up by Regal Meagle Realty— but watch out for the razor wire.
Tom Haverford's "Girl Heaven" Apartment
We've discussed Tom's "amenities everywhere" bachelor pad in great detail before— and let me just say that a thermostat set to 80ºF sounds pretty fantastic here in the frozen Midwest. Oh, and I'll take all the rest of it, too.
Leslie and Ben's Newlywed Heaven
Wood panelling done right (or as right as possible), two ovens, and that gorgeous stone fireplace? Martha, I want to lease this house!