Our little guy just turned 7 and his birthday party is coming up in a few days. In an effort to keep the proverbial mountain of gifts down to the size of a molehill this year, we are trying out what we call in our neck of the woods a “toonie party”.
Each guest has been given the option of bringing three 2-dollar coins (toonies) instead of a gift. From each participant, he will put one coin in his savings account, give one coin to the charity of his choice, and spend one coin on a birthday gift for himself. (Of course this could be modified to use any currency or denomination.)
It’s been tempting to try the “no gift” route especiallly because it feels a little tacky to ask for money. But I know that I feel uncomfortable showing up to a party without anything in hand and hope that this is a good option for most guests. As a bonus, we think this is a chance to highlight to our boy, those two other important things to do with money besides simply spending it: saving and giving.
For other gift alternatives check out previous posts An Alternative to the No Gift Birthday Party and Gifts for Kids that Don't Involve "Stuff".
(Image: Jackie Boucher)
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Um, that's the BEST IDEA EVER! I've never heard of that even though I'm Canadian (probably because I don't have kids yet!), but that seems like a really super great idea and instills good morals! I'm totally stealing that idea for when I have kids and they're old enough to appreciate the lessons!
I grew up doing this with my allowance each week (at the time, my college fund served as the charity...haha) and have been trying to instigate it as a Christmas tradition in my family for the longest time! It hasn't caught on, yet.
What a great idea for a party!
I wish there were toonies here in the States -- it's really the perfect amount to give a kid. There is very little they want that can't be purchased for $2!
I don't know. I think it's tacky to make people pay to come to a party.
Even if it's "optional" they'll feel awkward.
Just...couldn't do it...
I have a hard enough time saying no, gifts please.
We have "no gifts" parties, and it works well.
If you usually have no-gift parties, then the springing of this toonie idea may seem really weird to your usual coterie.
No-gift parties are rare for my kid's school, so you know what? Parents would have spent $XX but can instead just bring coins -- what's the harm in it?! The parents are not paying to go to a party, or do you seriously think buying gifts are paying to go to a party? When we get invited, we buy a gift whether or not we're attending, so no, I don't pay to go to a party.
I think the awkwardness in mentioning gifts in a party invitation comes from the host inviting everyone and their mother to the parties. Recently I ran into a girl that I hadn't seen since high school at the store and she mentioned her son's first birthday invitation was on it's way. (I didn't even know she had a son!) A few days later she requested me as a friend on facebook and also sent me a message inviting me and my mom to the party. The invitation also said, "No gifts please, only giftcards" as they were moving to Alaska. At this point I thought that she only invited me to get a present out of me. If I hadn't run into her at the store would I have to get her a gift??
However, when a party consists of close, personal friends, why not make gift specifications? I always appreciate the opportunity to give to my friends and it would be nice to give them something they want rather then have to guess.
Another simpler version that I have heard of is that all the guest contribute just $2, which the birthday boy or girl uses to buy one big(ger) gift for themselves. Solves the problem of too many presents and is nice and cheap for the guests.
I guess it skips the lessons on saving/charity but there are other times for that (donating unwanted toys or saving money from relatives etc.).
Personally I don't think guests should have to contribute money just so your child gets to save a bit or give it to charity.
or you could just choose a charity and have people donate in your son's name. When I did this for my daughter, she got cards indicating that people donated, so we were able to send thank yous. And she got a handful of gifts from close friends/family, so she still had something to open when she got home. Opening gifts at parties is soooo boring, anyway.
I LOVE this idea! In our neighborhood, we've also done book exchange parties... kids come with a wrapped book and every child leaves with a wrapped book as well. Solves the gift/no gift dilemma and also means no one has to deal with the "party favor" bags o' plastic bits...
I understand No Gifts Please for a big party.
But No Gifts Please, Just Gift Cards is such plain rude.
Its also important to teach a kid how to accept a gift with some gratitude!
I think stating "no gifts please" or suggesting specific gifts is distasteful. I invite people to my kids' parties because they are significant to my children or our family. I don't feel it is appropriate to obligate them in any way with a suggested gift or insisting they don't give at all. Let them decide.
When I've given monetary gifts, I usually spring for $2 bills. The kids probably haven't seen them much (or at all) and since they have that quality of being "special" they are apt to save them.
I plan on doing something similar with my (future) children's allowance... splitting it into equal 3rds for themselves, savings, and charity. I think its a great lesson for kids, although I don't know how I feel about translating it into a birthday party. It seems strange to ask for money.
If I was to ever do request something 'in lieu of gifts..." it will be books.