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A drawing depicts a young, naked girl on the toilet. "Keep whistling, there's no lock on the door."

"We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool!" --a sign at my childhood friend's grandparents' pool

The one I remember is "Cleaning the house while kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it's still snowing." Not so coincidentally, this one was always in our bathroom...

... or "welcome to our 'ool'. please note there's no 'p'. please keep it that way"...

my grandfather's 2nd wife (step-grandmother) used to label everything with directions. there were signs all over their bathroom: "guest towels", "please (do this with that)"...

we just have one huge sign over our toilet.

It was a cute illustration of a child on the toilet pulling toilet paper off the wall with the following: "No job is finished until the paperwork is done"...I have it at my lake house (which unfortunately has carpet in the bathroom).

(We bet you'd LOVE that. Carpet AND kitschy slogans in the bathroom.)

Ha ha ha. Too funny.

You don't have to brush all your teeth. Just the ones you want to keep!

My grandma had a cross-stitch sampler that said Kwitcherbellyakin' (not sure if that's the accurate spelling). It was inside the dining room over the door to the kitchen. For the most part, I don't remember any directions or instructions or wisdom or warnings posted on the walls of either pair of grandparents or my parents. I am remembering a caption on a picture about the early bird getting the worm, but I can't tell you what it was a picture of, and may be conflating the image with something else about the bird who didn't come early enough.

By contrast, an ex's mom had stuff on the fridge, like "you can't trust a skinny cook" and stuff like that. I wish I'd a' pissed on her toilet seat, there wasn't a sign telling me not to. I just sort of know these things by now. But if anyone deserved it, she did, and she certainly stole enough soap to clean it up.

My grandparents also had the "paperwork" sign in one bathroom! In another bathroom, they had a sign that read "When I do something right, no one remembers.... When I do something wrong, no one forgets!"

That sign now hangs in my Dad's bathroom. :)

How about "Candy is dandy but I prefer scotch" or something like that!

Why is everyone always knocking grandparents on AT? That's the generation that invented MCM chic.

I've seen the slogan in the top photo as... "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat."

My mom has a framed, cross-stitched sign next to her toilet that says "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it."

my grandparents had "Never whittle toward yourself or pee against the wind". Two good life lessons.

There was no sign but my Grandma would always say "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down!"

"If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" over the toilet with a cracked tank, which they only filled with water to flush when absolutely necessary.

No bathroom slogans in our family - We didn't discuss such things...

"no bees ~ no honey
no work ~ no money"
hung next to the keys to the cars in the garage.

My cousin and I once whiled away a cross country trip repeating slogans our grandmother had taught us ~ it took us 4 hours to run out ~ and 2 MORE hours the next day after we had slept and remembered more....

my mom still has hanging in the bathroom the "no job is finished until the paperwork is done."

I don't remember any of those signs from my grandparent's house. What I do remember something whenever any of my aunt's or grandparents gave me a bath when I was little. As they would strip us down to our birthday suits they would say, "I'm gonna skin you like a rabbit!"

I didn't realize how horrifying that sounded until I was helping a friend give her little one a bath and I repeated the same thing. She looked at me slightly horrified and confused and said "Excuse me?!"

Ah country folk!

In the carpeted bathroom at my great-aunt's house hung the sign "We aim to please. You aim too, please." Our crazy neighbors growing up had a sign on their front porch that said "Whether you be friend or kin take off your shoes when you come in." Despite many an internet search I have not been able to track down replicas of either sign.

Mine had one that said "stand close, it's shorter than you think"

such memories!! this was always a saying we wrote on the bathroom walls at summer camp... what a throwback!

"This is a teepee for you to pee pee-not a wigwam to beat your tom tom!" hung over my aunt's toilet. There was a big drawing of a grinning, politically incorrect indian to go with it. Classy!

Fun post, and great comments!!

Ev and Betty, a very courtly old-school old couple my parents befriended had a big house with a bunch of cool junk in the basement. High in the corner of the rafters was a hand-lettered sign that read WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING UP HERE FOR?

My Grandma had the same saying posted in her bathroom and everytime I clean the toilet I think of it.

My mom made a sign for me with everything I had to do at the sink: Wash your hands and your face, don't forget to brush your teeth and your hair. It was red and had a little lady bug on it! How funny is it that we remember these things word for word?!

My dad has a sign that says "ruin awaits the idle" hung in the garage, over the door to the house.

at my parents house, on a little stool, under the sink, with a picture of a carousel, "wash hands and face and do it well, when you step on this carousel". Wish I still had that little stool.

"in this land of sea and sun we do not flush for number one," of course, in the virgin islands we had water shortages to explain this one!

"all us people with septic tanks
give to you our heartfelt thanks
for putting nothing in the pot
that isn't guaranteed to rot"

From a cabin my girl scout troop stayed in... there was a second stanza that I don't fully recall, listing specific things which shouldn't go in...

We had a "If it's yellow let it mellow, If it's brown flush it down" sign that is still hanging above the toilet in my family's Adirondack house that my grandparents owned.

"Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean. Your aim will help.—the Management"

This sign has been in the "boys'" bathroom at my parents' house for 33 years.

Littlecat, my Mom had the same stepstool with saying (wash hands and face and do it well, when you step on this carousel). I hadn't remembered that in YEARS! Thanks for bringing back that fond memory! I just found pix of one just like ours at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11923192

My parents have a brass sign above their bathroom door that says, "Beware of Occupant."

I didn't grow up with bathroom art, but I have a passive aggressive sampler that I got for 2 bucks from a yard sale hanging by my door. It reads
" To know how sweet your home may be, just got away - but keep the key".

The "skin you like a rabbit" thing!! - My Mum used to say that - it refers to when you pull a childs top off by holding the bottom edge - they bend over forwards and put their arms out - and as you pull the jumper off it turns inside out - just like the way you take the skin off a rabbit!

I went to a small private Christian school growing up. They had laminated Bible verses all over the place. One that was unintentionally hilarious was this one in the girls' bathroom: Hebrews 4:16 (KJV) "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

On the refrigerator: "No one ever said life would be fair!"