apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

The time-honored solution to this problem is to invite the neighbors to your parties.

We call the cops after 10 p.m.--that's when the city's noise ordinance kicks in. I hate to sound like a party pooper, but it is impossible for us and our DD to sleep when our neighbors are blasting their Mexican fiesta music. Part of the problem is that there is a canyon effect from being so close that amplifies the music. But they also insist on blasting it through multiple speakers.

i always turn it down after 10pm out of respect of my neighbors. but when i have a party i don't really like my neighbors in my place (they are a bit unusual and i like all my stuff to stay my stuff) so i usually don't invite them nor do they crash.

10 pm!
it's the law... if you don't do it and the neighbors call the police you're at risk of paying from €500 to €5000

Kyle i put down midnight so I will probably get there @ 9 tonight. Don't worry I got your address off of the net... this was an open invite right?

Best to simply check your city's noise ordinances- if you're not obeying them, your neighbors have a very valid complaint.

I wouldn't invite my neighbors, but I would let them know in advance that I am planning on having a party.

I don't have a lot of parties, but I do make a determined effort to stay very close to the kitchen when I brew a cup of tea after 10 pm. Unfortunately my kitchen shares a wall with the neighbor's, and the whistle on my kettle is a bit loud! (And there's really no good way to know when you buy a kettle how loud it's going to be.)

10 pm, where I like, if someone call the police you can pay from €500 to €5000.

Why do people feel the need to call the cops? Doesn't it make more sense to nicely ask them to turn it down (at least before you resort to calling law enforcement?) That seems more human.

klem -- Agreed. 10pm is the latest I would create noise that is loud enough for neighbors to hear and it's the latest I expect to hear their party from my bedroom too.

Check your lease agreement, too.

I don't have to worry about disturbing my neighbors, my apartment is surrounded in soundproofed concrete. I can be as loud as I want and nobody will hear.

Guess a lot of people need more beauty sleep than I, haha. On the weekend I'm up late anyway, but if neighbors are making noise, I crank up my fan and sleep peacefully. If I'm having a party I try to quiet things down by midnight. However, on weeknights definitely things should be quiet by 10pm. Our downstairs neighbors love playing Rock Band after 10pm on weeknights and that can get a bit trying.

I live in a neighborhood that has quite a few college students as well as working professionals. Because of the college students I never really worry much about when my parties begin or end as there is frequently loud college parties that go much later than I can ever imagine my parties lasting. However, I do usually tell my upstairs neighbors if a party is going to be happening so that they are aware. I own the house though so I doubt they would call the police even if the party raged out of control. I once had an upstairs neighbor/tenant who was in two bands and they sometimes had late parties with dancing and loud music. It just never really bothered me that much even though their parties usually lasted beyond when I was going to bed. I told them I would only be upset if their bands were bad which luckily wasn't the case!

Abbynormal: In my case, I really don't want to go into a huge crowd of drunken college kids and try to find someone 'in charge' who will turn down the booming outdoor speakers. Calling the cops to enforce local noise ordinances is reasonable in that case.

Calling the cops if your neighbors are walking too loudly overhead or watching television with the noise a bit too high is not reasonable.

We are from the country so we are very used to being able to party until late into the night without an issue. But, during college when I lived in the city my neighbors were noisy all hours day and night. It was quite annoying since I had a job (they did not). But, I'd not call the cops unless it was an extreme issue. Just ask them politely to turn it down a bit! People take much better to that anyways!

I try not to do anything obnoxious like using my crazy loud blender, vacuuming, using the power drill (hang those new shelves or curtains), or moving furniture after 9 pm on week days. I live in a pretty young building (a bunch of 20 somethings) so on weekend I don't start doing loud things until at least 11 am. (I'm a little bit of an early bird).

I've been living here about 6 months and I don't play my music loud enough to really bother anyone in the building, but I'm throwing my first party this weekend, I'm don't think it will be CRAZY. But I guess I'll find out just how tolerant they are, hopefully they will remember how quiet I usually am.

not all are neighbors are neighborly
they can become rude and violent
so i think calling the cops is justified

most neighbors don't want to hear
your very loud music

This may sound too simple, but it's worked on multiple occassions for my friends and I and is better than inviting the neighbors: alert them to the fact that you are going to have a party about two weeks in advance. Promise that at a given time all outdoor noise will cease and then, before the party, bring your neighbors food! Seriously, before the party bake up cookies, cake, hors devours, wrap them up nicely, and thank them. For super cranky neighbors a little follow up treat and thank you is also smart. We had parties with live bands and no problems, because we talked things out and used a little bribery.

@AbbyNormal: nicely confronting someone in person is indeed the better thing to do when the neighbor is receptive.

However, if it's a drunk and disorderly group, or they happen to be jerks no matter how alcohol-fueled they are, confronting someone in person may risk your safety; they might be looking for a fight or decide that you are now the enemy and go out of their way to annoy you in the future.

I've had neighbors of both varieties: those who politely come speak to me outside the party and are accommodating, and those who think the building is a frat house and are eventually evicted.

I live in San Francisco in a 4-plex on the top floor. The walls are thin so I can hear my neighbors below me. Due to a frightful experience from our previous neighbors below (playing music loud at 3am on a Wednesday night), my husband and I took it upon ourselves to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors below and agreed to the best times to turn down the volume during the weekdays and weekends. We have not had a problem in almost two years now. Two times a year the neighbors below throw a grand party into the wee hours on the weekends but we don't mind in the least because we know they are very respectful every other time of the year. We can endure earplugs (if we want to) two times a year. I think when people are considerate and they show it, I am more receptive to being lenient and not uptight.

I try and alert my neighbors to my parties. If it gets too loud, they can either call or knock on my door. My old neighborhood was full of homeowners rather than renters so we all had each other's phone numbers anyway.

It seems to be the poster is not very considerate. Families choose the suburb neighborhood to live and raise kids. Children go to bed early. Everyone has to be considerate. And I totally agree with "chesterandtrudy", people like the poster may not think children have the rights to sleep at a decent hour and may choose to be NOT neighborly themselves. Cops help keep our neighborhood safe and they are the best ones to deal with inconsiderate people.

If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. Seriously, if you live in the city you have to expect some noise or you have no business there. I live on a well trafficked street and the traffic noise, especially the honking, can be a bit annoying in the middle of the night but that doesn't make me call the police. If something's completely out of control, fine, but music after ten on a weekend? Seriously?

I live in a walk-up in New York City, and I had a pretty loud neighbor, who actually lived upstairs and across from me, so I was only diagonally connected to this person. I have no idea why my next-door neighbor or the person upstairs hadn't knocked on this guy's door before and asked him to turn down the music. But I was frequently kept awake till 3am with this rumbling bass sound.

I had tried knocking on his door, but he never answered. Finally, I had to leave a note asking him to turn his music down late at night and early in the morning (my management company wouldn't do anything about it).

Our city ordinance calls for quiet between 11 and 7. And I think that's fair for weekends. We have kids and we're quiet by ca. 9 on weekdays, though I'm fine if people are still outside at 10. I'd prefer, however, if they'd moved from party mode to conversation mode, especially if they're right under our windows (that is, unless they're fine with toddler yakking and yelling at 6 am, and most of them aren't). There are also adult neighbours who leave for work at 7:30 and who are pretty much out for the count by 10 pm on work nights, and their needs also need to be respected.

Boy, Europe is a completely different ballpark on this!

We live in Switzerland, but much of Europe has similar regulations -- you are not allowed to make noise after 8 pm. Specifically, you are not allowed to mow your lawn, operate power equipment, etc. You are not allowed to mow the lawn or operate power equipment or anything noisy on Sunday -- at all. (add that to the fact that there is no Sunday shopping or evening shopping, and you start to get a feel for how hellish Saturdays here are for working families).

That applies if you live in a house... Apartments are a different kettle of fish.

In apartment buildings, you are not supposed to flush toilets or take showers after 10 pm (umm, from what I have seen, there is not much respect for this!). If you want to have a party, you are supposed to get the agreement of your neighbours first, and it should be all over with no later than 10 pm (no noisy guests!).

At the recycling depots, usually in grocery store parking lots, or in our case, next to the Mairie of our commune (town hall), you are supposed to abide by the standard noise bylaws -- no depositing of recyclables after 8 pm or on Sunday.

And you wouldn't believe the driving/speeding laws (until a couple of years ago, if you were more than 50% over the speed limit, you faced mandatory prison time as well as garnished wages). Needless to say, their road death rates are significantly lower than those of the U.S. or Canada.

It's tough here.

"Calling the cops if your neighbors are walking too loudly overhead or watching television with the noise a bit too high is not reasonable."

Really?
No wonder the rate of unsolved murders and car theft/break-ins are going sky high...

I can see calling the police for a large drunken party. But because the TV is too loud? Seriously, go knock on the door. Your neighbor is most likely not a crazy lunatic who is going to kill you for dropping by. And while I would be FURIOUS if my neighbor called the cops because my TV was too loud, I would be meek and embarrassed and vow to be more considerate if the neighbor dropped by to ask me to tone it down. Mutual respect, people!!

I know it can be hard to relate to people with children, light sleepers like myself, older neighbors or those of us who really need 7-8 hours of sleep to function (at all). If my neighbors would warn me before partying 'til the wee hours I'd go elsewhere for the night -- provided it wasn't too often. I agree with other posts about the dangers of asking neighbors in person unless you know and get along really well.

Oh, you are all so nice! My across-the-hall neighbor has extremely loud parties with people coming IN at 2 am! We have extremely thin walls, so noise in the common hallway sounds like it is in our unit. We asked them to be quiet, and the guy who was coming in, around 1-2 am, protested: "But I just got here!" I live in a condo building. I would just think by the time people are old enough to own, they are old enough to be respectful of other people. Thanks for letting me at least know that it's not weird or cranky to think this is incredibly rude.

I once called the cops on someone using a chainsaw at midnight on a weekday. I was living in a small town in Maine at the time, but it was in town, not off in the woods.

if only my upstairs neighbors were reading apartment therapy now! although, i think if they were apartment therapy readers, i don't think they would be the loud-music at midnight till who knows when kinda people.

I turn any noise maker down at 10PM....when I go to bed. As for me, I have an air ventilator machine in my bedroom that can be turned up higher and blocks out just about any noise. I have told all my younger neighbors to play their music as late as they want.....it doesn't bother me at all.

my neighbor talked to me personally and tell me to turn down my music after 9 pm...not like i listen to music really loudly but our apartment walls/floors are VERY thin.

bepfs: How exactly does murder and car break-ins relate to dealing with normal apartment/neighbor noise ?

It is not reasonable to call the cops on your neighbors for these kinds of infractions before you go and try to handle it yourself. But that situation does not have anything to do with the social problem of the bystander effect (which is what you seem to be suggesting).

I generally say 10, any day of the week (after all, not everybody is off work on the traditional weekend)-- definitely things get quiet at 10 on weekdays, and on weekends everything at least gets turned down quite a bit. I think if you want a lot of noise after that, go to a bar.

a big factor to me is how frequently the parties are thrown. if it's a few times a year, I don't have a problem putting in earplugs and being sleepy the next day, especially if on otherwise good terms with the neighbors. however, it is nice (and less likely to bother me) to be notified before the fact and be provided with a phone number to call if the noise is too loud. I realize that people often don't realize how much their neighbors can hear, so giving them an easy way to let them know shows you really intend to be considerate-- and really, who wants to crawl out of bed and knock on the door at a noisy party?

also, please turn down the base. it's super annoying. even when it's not that loud, the vibrations are nerve-grating.

slowdown --

I'm suggesting that the police have far more important things to be doing rather than responding to ridiculous calls about the upstairs neighbors heavy feet or slight deafness.

Oops - Sorry, I read "Not unreasonable"

My bad.

Personally, I'm getting tired of my neighbors telling me to quiet down. My house is directly behind the neighborhood pool where swim meets take place until midnight and are very very loud. So, I feel I don't have to quiet down until midnight during the summer, since I'm in the social area of the neighborhood. If my neighbors didn't want the noise they should have moved to a quieter part of the neighborhood. I don't play music, it's just that I want to run around my backyard playing games, drinking and laughing loudly.

No matter what time it is, I just assume that no one wants to hear my noise just like I don't want to hear theirs. Plain and simple. Why not throw your party elsewhere?

"Why not throw your party elsewhere?"

Uh...maybe because you're kind of poor, but still want to have fun with friends? Not everyone has the option of going elsewhere. I don't personally think that means they should be barred from having a few friends over (because really, even a small party can be noisy if you're in close quarters.)

bepfs: My bad for using an awkward construction rather than simply, "unreasonable".

8 pm on weeknights. People have children who need to go to bed.

On weekends, 10 pm.

It's just rude to have a loud party past the time that your neighbors would like to be in bed.

I allways had bad neighbors, a piano player that played until 3 am, football players that liked to listen to their music at 4 am... dogs all day looked at home with no training... they just don't care, the pianist just stoped opening the door...
caling the police is allways the right choice!

home body: A chainsaw? At midnight?!

I'd have... called the cops, too. It would make me mighty nervous to have to confront someone wielding a chainsaw in the middle of the night. I'd be worried about exactly what he was cutting...!


It's really interesting to see the spectrum of opinions on this issue. I come down on the side of quiet, or, as they told us when I lived in the quiet wing of my dorm for the first time, "The right to quiet takes precedence over the right to make noise."

That's not to say that fun is bad, or even that all noise is bad. I just wish more people felt as many of you do: that we all need to be considerate of our neighbors, which includes not blasting "My Sharona" loud enough to be heard a block away at 2 am. (Yes, this actually happened to me when I was still living with my parents.) Luckily, the cops showed up soon after.

Can I ask how old most of you posters are? I entertain all the time, but I haven't had a party with loud music or people getting drunk since college. I don't know anyone over 25 who does.

Lisa - I live in a place where even loud laughing, or normal talking on the balcony is easily heard by neighbors, if they have their windows open (and most of them do during the summer, since we're po' folk around here, and AC is so expensive!) Even a really low key 'party' (like having 4 people over for dinner) can be loud, unfortunately.

(I'm under 25, but know PLENTY of people over that age that enjoy a good tune at high volume!)

I'm 38, but I've been stodgy since approximately age twelve.

Our building gets quite by about 8 or 9 during the week, but on the weekends we sometimes throw parties that are fairly loud until 2am where some people maybe get kind of drunk. Our building has thick concrete walls seperating the floors and we only have a neighbor on one side. We're older than 25. We live in a big city. No one has ever complained some people have joined.

I have loud downstairs neighbors - they're college girls, and they just laugh a lot. Hysterically. And sing. You get the picture. Under normal circumstances, I'd knock on their door and nicely explain how thin the walls are.

Problem is, I'm their professor. I feel like I can't bring the issue up with them or the cops. Maybe I should move to Switzerland.

It all depends what neighborhood you choose to live in. I would never move into a settled, family neighborhood and expect to blast my music all into the night. Heck, I even turn my car radio down when I drive through those neighborhoods.

On the flip side, don't be the wet blanket that moves into a neighborhood populated mostly with young people, artists, musicians or other bohemian types and expect us to keep bankers' hours.

That being said, my general weeknight rule like others on here is 10pm. Friday and Saturday nights are a free pass, I don't care how long the party goes on as long as there's no drama or cops.

Swandiver, I don't think this applies to US, where people are a lot more segregated, but here in Montreal, some neighbourhoods are mixed, which mean you can have a nice house next to a big apartment building and then a triplex on the other side. You can't expect things like specific type of people in there, you can find any kinds, old, young, poor, wealthy, families and frat boys/girls...

By the way, I have a nice young couple downstairs from my place, and an old drunk stupid man that fights with his new girlfriend of the day the minute it's a little warm outside. Age does not really have an effect on respect.

@mschatelaine, we don't have exactly those restrictions in London (though we do have with some recycling bins right near homes - because breaking glass IS kind of disruptive and nasty at 10pm) but most tenants keep things down after about 9pm, the ones who don't have usually made other arrangements, or are just inconsiderate.

I work nights a lot, so I'm just reading ALL of the horror stories and saying, "welcome to MY world"! lol

Abbynormal -- It would always depend on your neighbors. There are four sets of people in this building - this is one of the apartments. The ones across the hall are college students who don't even listen to the lease rules, so I doubt my asking them kindly will help - and the ones below us, well to be honest the guy scares me. Now the people diagonal from us (the fiance and I) are quite kind and will keep it down if asked.

flobeau - I agree completely. The poster realized he is in a family-oriented area but yet thinks it is fine to have a party at midnight. There are too many inconsiderate people in the world.

Atalanta - Well if you are so poor you can move your party to a local bar (it doesn't mean you have to drink), then maybe you ought to save some money by not throwing the party. What you said goes for your neighbors - they shouldn't have to sleep in a motel each night you want to have a loud party, unless you want to foot the bill.

swandiver - I live in an apartment complex - you tend to find people of all ages here. The fiance and I are in our mid-20's, the neighbors across the hall range from 18-24, and both sets of people downstairs are 30's or above.

mschatelaine, it's definitely not that strict here in Finland. Mind you, most people are very considerate towards neighbours and noise.

However, it's midsummer weekend so most people are at their cottages, drunk, going to sauna, having bonfires and yelling "kuinka olet!?!" at each other over the lake. ;)

Happy midsummer, everyone. :)

I deal with this all the time, my neighbor's obnoxious son, and our city ordinance is 10p. He will often begin loud parties between midnight and 2a (those are not typos). So I think the music should be turned down, when the city ordinance kicks in for your area, and should be Really quiet within an hour. If he wants to party loud that late... head to a local club! I can't tell you how many nights, both weekday & weekend, that I've lost an entire night's sleep to this jerk. I've tried everything: ear plugs, indoor water fountain, outdoor water fountain, white noise machines. I pray that I win the lotto so I can buy them out of their home - or - move to a quieter neighborhood. Until then I've got the city on speed dial for those times when the music is so loud the windows are rattling and it feels like a quake under your feet.

We just moved out of an apartment building because our downstairs neighbors blasted music day and night, fought, and screamed. They even beat someone up in the parking lot. The cops were no help, the manager couldn't do anything without going through a lot of paperwork because they were on section 8 housing.

We moved into a new building that has very strict noise regulations. No noise after 10pm. Not a problem. I have folks in and out, but we are all very quiet in the hall. We don't crank up music, and certainly don't party like college students. That means my landlady loves us. I love her. I love my neighbors. I love the building.

Pikku Sukka haha, I lived in Helsinki (Meilahti) for two years and your comment made me laugh :) Every time midsummer comes I remember how raucous Finland became!

In France the noise laws depend on where you live. In Nice you have to be quiet after 10pm and until 9am, every day of the week. Somewhat like Switzerland, there are also laws about when you can do loud work (construction, lawn mower type things): if you've done that work all week, during work days, you can't do it on weekends; if you haven't done anything during the week, you can use the weekend (10am-noon and 2pm-6pm). That way DIY-ers can still hammer and such!

And yes, once again, it is not necessarily rude to call the cops on loud noises. It certainly depends -- I don't think it's fair to assume that everyone calling the cops is doing so for loud footsteps, especially since everyone who's spoken up has said it's when there are drunken parties. Shall I tell the story again of when I called the cops on a rowdy drunken party next door and it turned out two of the guys had murdered their "friend", my neighbor? What do you think would have happened to me, a single woman, if I'd gone the polite route and knocked on their door??

I voted for 9PM on weekdays, because even though sometimes I need to go to bed at 10, I start winding down at 9, and it's hard to do that when there's still noise going on next door. And just because some people live in buildings with concrete floors, doesn't mean your noise doesn't travel--concrete is an excellent sound conductor, as I can well attest from my upstairs neighbour's heavy footsteps. I once had to ask her to stop doing the laundry after midnight because the washer was waking me up.

It depends - at our new place the backyard is big, and so are the yards around us, and the houses are well built and insulated. So I don't feel bad about having loud things happening. The last place, though, all teh houses were crammed in, the backyards were long and narrow, and sound travelled really far.

Also - have you let your neighbours know/invited them over? Do you know if they have small children or work shift? Is this your first party all summer or the fifth one this week? All those things should affect how you behave.

I think if you're having one of your twice a year parties then leaving your closest neighbors a note a few days in advance stating the day the party will be and what time the music will stop is sufficient in my mind. If you party every weekend, then y o u k i n d o f s u c k as a neighbor.

I had friends who were sitting on their balcony, talking over a glass of wine at 9 at night on a saturday and the lady upstairs called the cops on them.

Everyone's standards are different, obviously, so i guess it might be good to get to know your neighbors and communicate!

I really don't care that much about the neighbor's noises. The only thing is that I get freaked out sometimes by the upstairs neighbor if her walking is too loud because for a second then I'm afraid she's stomping on the floor because of me ;) which only ever happened two times; once during a movie and once when I was making music. Usually this is enough to make me tone down and get all embarrased.

I like to play loud music.. However, I really am considerate of my neighbors and try not to play it too ridiculously loud or be very irritating. Maybe a couple of songs a day that are loud, or when I'm cleaning and vacuuming. and I usually turn it down between 10 and 11 pm, seems reasonable to me. On WEEKENDS I think between midnight and 1am is appropriate, because most weekends I'm not at home so if I am I think one could be a bit lenient. I really don't mind about other people's music or noises, I like it! It makes me feel I can just be in my house and do what I want and not worry so much. :)

the con about summer I think is that I can't close all windows and be a bit more loud without being more annoying ;)

I don't turn it down if the neighbor is smoking pot, or yelling at his mother (she is probably 60 and he is about 40), or throwing furniture around.