I have no idea if this would work but could you maybe try weaning her onto another coping/soothing mechanism? Ie: a blanket or a stuffed animal? Im not for these "soothing/coping" habits at all but if you want to stay away from making her feel ashamed and you dont want to use a deterent like hot sauce then it could possibly work. Anytime you catch her with her thumb in her mouth politely ask her not to do it anymore - you could even explain that her teeth are growing in funny - and then give her a blanket or a doll. You'd have to be VERY consistent, though.

we're going through the same thing with our daughter who's about to turn 4 next week. She understands the dental consequences, etc. She only sucks at bedtime and promises to quit every day only to push it to the next day at bedtime - such a junkie!! We've put bandaids on her thumb, a sock over her hand, tea tree oil on her thumb. Nothing is working.

My daughter does this and she's almost 8! I have tried unsuccessfully for years to get her to stop. She also has a blanket she rubs for comfort as well - often doing them both at the same time, especially when she's tired. I've spoken to the DR and the dentist about this and they said that of course the blanket is harmless and is good for her, in terms of calming & centering etc. The dentist said any thumb/finger sucking will not cause permanent harm as long as it's done before the child turns 8. After 8 the mouth/jaw will forever be altered. So the good news for you is that you have several years to get your child to stop...good luck!

My mom tried everything--everything to break me of a finger sucking habit. I'm 32 and a mom of two and at quiet times or bed time, I still catch myself doing it! I've seen a device they sell that goes around the thumb and makes it impossible to suck--I think One Step Ahead sells it but I'm not sure if she would find that shaming.

I have no first hand experience, but might not a short term incentive program help? As an adult who has a hard time forgoing the instant comfort of a treat for the future benefit of being more comfortable in my jeans, I'd think a 3-year-old might have a hard time being motivated solely by her future dental health (especially when she's got comfort so conveniently at hand).

What about thinking of a treat she'd be super excited about, that she could do/get in 3 weeks to a month's time (or a treat for every week)? Then you could create a chart and give her a star for each day that she manages to avoid the thumb (maybe build in some wiggle room for rough days and backsliding).

She could choose the colors for the chart, pick her big treat (or set of treats, spread out), put the stickers on herself, etc.

Without an incentive she can understand, why should she stop?

My mom sucked her thumb until she was 5. Her mom tried a metal thumb contraption (she just sucked other fingers) and hot sauce but neither worked. What finally did the trick: they told her she wouldn't be allowed to go to school if she sucked her thumb. She wanted to go so badly, she quit. And took up nail-biting.

I empathize! We went through that with our daughter, too. It is not easy. And different dentists say different things. Would our daughter have developed an over-bite even if she hadn't sucked her thumb? We'll never know. She is 7 years old and already being referred to the orthodontist! We broke her of the habit when she was 3-1/2 years old. At that point, thumb-sucking had only been during naps and bedtime for awhile, but she had a very definite overbite. After she stopped completely, her overbite did improve quite a bit. We SEWED socks onto her pj's. A friend of ours had done that with her toddler and had success. Some nights it was traumatic at first, and my MIL was quite upset with us, but we tried to be as loving and supportive as possible. She had a blanky, and we spent more time cuddling her and singing to her at bedtime, etc. We explained numerous times why we needed to get her stop sucking her thumb, and that she was not bad for doing it, but happened to have bad luck and susceptible teeth. Anyway, there was no shaming, but it was hard for a few nights. But a few nights of doing something hard is worth it when you're working toward a good goal. We made a chart for her with small incentives along the way. Good luck! Your daughter will quickly kick the habit, I'm sure, and it will only be hard for a few days. It's definitely worth it, and her self-esteem will actually improve in the end!

I sucked my thumb until I was 6 or 7. My mom got me to stop by promising that my sister and I could get our ears pierced if I could go a month without sucking my thumb. My sister became very invested in the effort to get me to stop and even made me a calendar that we could out stickers on for every day I didn't suck my thumb. It only takes 28 days to form a new habit. I never sucked my thumb again!

For my brother, what worked was actually getting rid of his blankie. The two went hand-in-hand. Once the blankie "went to help another baby" the thumb faded away.

I think my parents also explained that once he turned 4 (he was about 3 1/2 at the time) he'd really be a big boy and big boys don't suck their thumbs. Nothing to shame him, just matter of factly stated that he would be a big boy and probably wouldn't need his thumb anymore.

He stopped completely about a week before his 4th birthday...so it seemed to have worked!

p.s. He had braces, but his jaw was completely unaffected from the thumb, and his teeth are PERFECT now!!

I don't know if there's something else your daughter associates with nailbiting that might be more in your control to remove, but my mom got me to stop sucking my thumb around 5 by taking away my security blanket -- they went hand in hand (so to speak) for me... it was really hard, but not shaming.

I also know some parents have had success with promises of pretty nail polish and other immediate rewards.

And as for substituting comfort habits, my son went through a long phase of nail biting for soothing/comforting which has finally been supplanted (in part) with hair twirling (with both hands when he's really tired!). Both are annoying to me, but hair twirling is at least less germy than nail biting...

Good luck!

Warn her that if she doesn't quit now, she'll end up sucking her thumb 'til she's 10. In desperation, her dentist will cement in a retainer with pointy prongs that run vertically from the roof of the mouth down to rest on the tongue, forming a grill that (supposedly) blocks the thumb. She'll find a way around this, as she did all the other methods you'll have tried, and she'll finally quit only when the kids in her 6th grade class make fun of her for bringing her blankie to school.

True story. I think I'd have preferred the shame of a little hot sauce at 3 1/2, but maybe my parents tried that too... I don't remember.

I don't have personal experience with this, but how about humor? If you catch her sucking her thumb, maybe you (and the rest of the family) suck your thumb too. But do so with silly expressions on your faces so she knows it looks funny, but she does not feel like she is being made fun of. My daughter tends to twirl both sides of her hair around her ears. It's not a big deal, but it is a habit we'd like to discourage. So, we all twirl our hair or offer to twirl hers for her. This makes her realize what she's doing, she laughs, and then she stops.

Thank you for all of your advice!!

Hi Rachael. I completely empathize with all moms who have a hard time helping their kids stop this habit. I am not a mom yet (my husband and I have not any success yet), but I have a very good suggestion that worked for me. I was the worst thumb-sucker ever. I sucked my thumb until I was eight. It was so embarrassing. My parents tried EVERYTHING, from hot sauce to tape. Nothing worked until my Dad sat me down and told me that he would give me 5 dollars if I stopped sucking my thumb for a whole month. 5 bucks?! I could totally do it. And I did. My Dad told me that if I ever sucked my thumb again though, I would have to pay him back. My thumb-sucking problem ended promptly.

So I suggest you try the same thing. It is bound to work and not only will this process not make your toddler feel ashamed, it will emphasize a healthy, successful feeling for her and encourage her to make good sacrifices and to work hard to be successful in life. She may not understand it in those terms, but they will become a part of her life starting at a young age.

How about thumb or finger covers. They snap around the wrists. My friends have used them with success. I think they are pretty easy to make. The key is finding a really good snap to hard for a little one to undo.

Also, using the money method helps kids learn that in order to receive a reward, they must work hard for it first, teaching them the value of work and patience at the same time.

Hi. She will most likely grow out of it at her own pace. There is no real evidence in the studies done to prove that thumb sucking at that age will alter her jaw or teeth shape in the long term. All the examples posted here are kids that are older and are more able to be reasoned with a tangible reward. Plus consider your own teeth and jaw shape - most likely if she has an overbite its because its a family trait not because she sucks her thumb.

Relax and leave her be for the moment, she will grow out of it on her own.

My daughter is 6 and has been sucking her thumb since 9 months. Her new year's resolution (suggested by me) was to stop sucking her thumb. A friend of a friend recommended a product called Mavala Stop. It's like a nail polish you put on the finger nail. It has a very bitter taste. My daughter cried the first night and the next day, "I want my thumb!". The next night and day was easier and I suspect it will get easier still.

Oof. One of my (4 year old) triplets sucks his thumb. I was congratulating myself at 2.5 when I only had TWO to break of the binky habit. Now I wish Oliver used a binky!

I haven't really broken it to him yet that he can't suck his thumb anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can say, his front teeth are more prominent than his brothers' (and they're identical, so I am comparing apples to apples) and the dentist confirmed that.

So, we'll see. I will talk to him first, then try other methods. (But we live in New Orleans - hot sauce might not be much of a deterrent!)

I sucked my thumb until I was 12. Tube socks like opera gloves finally stopped it. I only did it at night and only at home. I had a massive overbite and had a retainer with the prongs. I also had tounge thrust when I swallowed contributing to the overbite. Good luck!

I second the nail polish method- though any sort works (and if she doesn't like the color, you can use clear nail polish). My mom did it on my brother for when he chewed his fingernails, so it would probably work for sucking thumbs too.

We let our 3 year old continue night-time pacifier use until he switched rooms at daycare. We built it up for a couple weeks before the transition that he was going to the big-kid room so we were going to pass the pacifiers along to the little kids at the same time. Totally worked with no fuss and only one pacifier request after that day.

As for myself, I sucked my thumb at night until I was probably 7. I got terribly sick one year and my mom told me it was from sucking my thumb because that helps to spread germs. Never sucked my thumb again. The straight up germ explanation is also (kind of) working currently with my 3 year old nose picker :)

I had that same pronged retainer. Didn't work, I bent it apart to make my thumb fit. I had the yucky tasting nail polish, too. Even when I was old enough to WANT to stop, it was very difficult to quit. I wish you luck, but I think you will have a very difficult time.

My daughter used a pacifier for 2 1/2 years. When we decided the pacifier had to go to the "binky fairy" and the fairy would bring her a toy, she quit the pacifier no problems, but then she took up thumb sucking. She is 6 now and we're still struggling with it. We've tried everything; negative reinforcement (she sucked her thumb a lot watching TV, so we started taking TV time away) didn't work, positive reinforcement (reward charts, etc.) didn't work. This past Christmas we got an Elf on the Shelf and when he showed up he said Santa would like her to stop sucking her thumb and that he and the Elf would be watching. IT WORKED!!! The first few days were hard, but she's all but stopped. We still have a few instances at bedtime to work out, but I'm so happy something finally worked. I say just don't give up, keep trying different things and at some point you'll land on the one thing that works for you. Every kid is different.

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can speak from first hand experience that this is a HARD habit to break! I sucked my thumb until I was 11 and my poor parents tried everything to get me to stop. I really wanted to quit - but couldn't help it! It was a subconscious habit! The thing that finally worked was a metal contraption that my dentists glued to the roof of my mouth so that no matter how wide I opened my mouth, I couldn't get my thumb in (this was 20 years ago). It was painful and embarrassing, but after 6 months they took it off and it worked. I'm in my 30's now, and still to this day, I'm scared to DEATH to put my thumb in my mouth for fear that I will become "addicted" again :P

My 5 year old is a thumb-sucker, and I was a thumb-sucker. My feeling is that it has to be something the child determines they want on their own. I know it seems impossible, but it is not. My 7 year old, who was a finger-sucker until she was 4, got violently ill once and we explained to her that when she touches something dirty and then puts her fingers in her mouth, it makes her sick. She decided right then and there that she didn't want to suck her fingers anymore and never did it again. My 5 year old loves to have her nails done. She realized after getting her nails painted with fancy stickers adorning them, that the paint and stickers would come off if she sucked her thumb. She made a New Year's Resolution (just this year) to stop sucking her thumb. It's been 5 days and so far, so good! You will never be able to talk your child into stopping without some motivating factor. I hope you find one that works for you! Good luck!

My son is 4.5 and we're still fighting it -- have been since he turned three. Just like others, he'll say "when I'm 3, when I'm 4" only to keep going. We've tried Mavala Stop, and he just endured until he'd sucked it off (destroying his tastebuds in the process). Before that, we tried band-aids, reward charts, bribery, most everything we could think of. I even gave him other things to suck on instead (cloth bracelets, a spoon around his neck, etc) and he'd use them until he wouldn't. The plastic contraptions seem like they'd work but reviews say kids can get them off, and if anyone can... my guy will.

He was a colicky baby who wouldn't take ANY pacifier so I guess this is my payback for the thanking all the Gods that he took up thumbsucking at 3 months and thus began sleeping.

Our pediatric dentist says he has to stop as well, but part of me knows that my husband and I both had braces (despite not thumbsucking) so we figure he's gonna need them anyway.

Of course, it doesn't help that my mother points out kids she knew who sucked their thumbs until 11 or 12 and "he committed suicide, you know."

I would do what you need to do as a parent to help your child be successful. Try a gentler approach such as a reward chart at first, but if that doesn't work and using bitter/spicy flavoring or sewing tube socks on their pajamas does, go for it. I wouldn't worry too much about the approach being "shameful". As long as you are helping your child correct her behavior in a gentle and caring way, her self-esteem will be fine. I can imagine it would feel worse for her if she continues to suck her thumb at school as she gets older and her peers begin to notice and mention her habit.

I have a two-and-a-half year-old who is a finger-sucker (middle two fingers). At the moment we still find it somewhat adorable but I don't know what we're going to do to stop it other than take away the precious blanket that accompanies it. What I wanted to say, though, was that with our older son who was a pacifier-junkie, I worried and fretted about how he was going to react to it being taken away (we did a slow method where I tied it to a giant stuffed animal for awhile making it hard to get to, and then it got lost) and in the end he coped fine. He was three, by the way. It turned out to be a bigger deal for me than him. So don't worry too much in the short term about her reaction if there is a blanket or something associated. Kids are so resilient and with lots of love and comfort from the parents, they *usually* get over these things amazingly fast. Just remember it is a comfort-object so negative reinforcement will push her in the wrong direction. Maybe a new stuffed animal to hug with that hand?

As a former finger-sucker myself, I can tell you the more you demand or tell the child to stop, the more difficult it will become on both of you. I did eventually stop finger-sucking, but then it turned into nail-biting, then into hair-pulling, which I still haven't been able to kick, and I'm nearly 28.

My best suggestion would be to discuss with your child why you feel that they should stop thumb-sucking and then whenever you see it happen (which it will, probably for YEARS!), redirect them somehow. This redirection MUST NOT require an object or something aside from their own body (blanket, stress ball, etc), or I can assure you, your chances of it working will be slim to nil.

For me, the best thing I can find to do that is distracting/strangely comforting enough is to run my fingernail along the pad of my thumb. Though slightly strange, it is not socially unacceptable, not self-mutilating, and it works.

Your cute little kiddo just needs the same things. The trick is to NEVER make them feel ashamed for doing it. It is a self-soothing mechanism, and EVERYONE has them. It is just a matter of changing the habit to be a more acceptable one. Good luck!!

My sister told her daughter that if she countinued to suck her thumb that she would have dragon teeth, but if she stopped she would have princess teeth, which worked for her. But her son didnt care about having dragon teeth so he was told if he wanted to suck his thumb he would have to go to his room to do it by himself. After about two months he stopped all together. Good Luck!

If you find a solution I'd love to know! My 3 year old was born with blisters at the base of her thumbs from sucking her thumb while in the womb! She has no interest in stopping! I'm not for forcing her to but the dental issues are a concern for me too.

try www.thumbguard.com - worked a treat for us when our daughter was 3 - habit broken in 3 weeks.

My daughter had a hard time going to sleep - or getting back to sleep - without sucking her thumb. She could do OK during the day, but getting through the night was too much; she'd wake up with her thumb in her mouth. The pediatric orthodontist recommended we get thin gloves for her to wear to bed at night. Both dress-up gloves and the ones you can get at dancewear stores worked well. Perhaps some fancy gloves might help?
You could also take the route that my friend took with potty-training: she took her kid to the store and allowed them to choose the fanciest toy they could find (with lots of little pieces). Then she explained the plan to them: every time they made it to the toilet with no accidents, they would earn one of the pieces. But when there was an accident, they'd have to return all the pieces they'd earned so far. Of course that worked with children who were truly ready to potty-train, and could work toward a goal - it would certainly depend on your child's personality and maturity level. But perhaps some variation of that might give her some incentive to work with?

I have a 5 year old son who was having speech issues as a result of thucking his thumb. Nothing worked for us. He even decided he that hte yucky stuff you paint on the nails wasn't so bad. Then we came across the Handaid - http://yourhandaid.com/index.html. It is a soft cloth cover that goes over the thumb. We had an issue the first night getting him to wear it because he was scared about not having his thumb to suck. But he was fine with it after that. He wore it for about 1.5 months and was able to beak the habit. It is a little expensive but worth every penny.

My 3 year old quit on her own for a month, and then picked up the habit again after she had a cold and had trouble sleeping. We couldn't believe that she quit (she just decided it was time) but now we are having a hard time convincing her to quit again. When she quit, she had her older sister put a band-aid on her thumb, and she kept a band-aid on it for a few days, and that was it--cold turkey. The thing is that she needs to decide it is time to quit. We are trying to bribe her now, but not much luck so far.

My parents tried everything and I didn't stop until I was eight (shame, bad tasting nail polish, treats, etc). What worked was making it uncomfortable via orthodontics (they put a plate in teh roof of my mouth specifically to stop the thumb sucking). I think some of my thumb sucking and need to self soothe for a long time was due to the fact that my parents did the opposite of attachment parenting, but that's just my guess.

FWIW, self-soothing is a good thing. The WHO says that average breastfeeding around the world on average is between 2-8 years. So thumb sucking, by proxy, at age 3 1/2 is fairly normal. Of my 7 children, my 3 thumb suckers have not had any ill effects other than the fact that they put more germs in their mouths than my children who do not. It has absolutely not change any of their teeth and WON'T. It's an old wives tale.
I would recognize that this is age appropriate behavior, encourage her to not put her fingers in her mouth because of germs, but otherwise not really worry about it. Also, maybe get a different dentist.

Well, re-reading the post... they do make a brace that makes thumbsucking difficult. It goes on her arm and covers the thumb.

Also, from our old dentist:

Sucking is a natural reflex and infants and young children may use thumbs, fingers, pacifiers and other objects on which to suck. It may make them feel secure and happy, or provide a sense of security at difficult periods. Since thumb sucking is relaxing, it may induce sleep.
Thumb sucking that persists beyond the eruption of the permanent teeth can cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth and tooth alignment. How intensely a child sucks on fingers or thumbs will determine whether or not dental problems may result. Children who rest their thumbs passively in their mouths are less likely to have difficulty than those who vigorously suck their thumbs.
Children should cease thumb sucking by the time their permanent front teeth are ready to erupt. Usually, children stop between the ages of two and four. Peer pressure causes many school-aged children to stop.
Pacifiers are no substitute for thumb sucking. They can affect the teeth essentially the same way as sucking fingers and thumbs. However, use of the pacifier can be controlled and modified more easily than the thumb or finger habit. If you have concerns about thumb sucking or use of a pacifier, consult your pediatric dentist.
A few suggestions to help your child get through thumb sucking:
Children often suck their thumbs when feeling insecure. Focus on correcting the cause of anxiety, instead of the thumb sucking.
Children who are sucking for comfort will feel less of a need when their parents provide comfort.
Reward children when they refrain from sucking during difficult periods, such as when being separated from their parents.
Your pediatric dentist can encourage children to stop sucking and explain what could happen if they continue.
If these approaches don’t work, remind the children of their habit by bandaging the thumb or putting a sock on the hand at night. Your pediatric dentist may recommend the use of a mouth appliance.

Good luck. I sucked my thumb until I was about 10 (still twirl my hair when tired or stressed). I understood I wasn't supposed to, and I WAS embarrassed, but I couldn't help myself. My parents tried everything, Band-Aids soaked in vinegar, some other icky tasting liquid... Ultimately I weaned myself off by reducing the amount of thumb I'd put in my mouth - the first knuckle, then the bottom knuckle. Somehow that worked for me. At the same time my parents let me grow my nails, and a thumbnail is not very comfortable, so I think that contributed to my success.

(And yes, I had awful braces and headgear.)

My almost 5 year old sucks her thumb and I haven't given too much thought to making her stop. It is such a comfort to her, along with her blankie, and she is so happy every day, I don't want to take that away yet. Of course I have pangs of worry about what it's doing to her teeth, but I have more, larger pang when I think about what taking it away might do to her!

After our paediatrician referred us to a dentist to address my then 2 year olds slight overbite (partly genetic) my husband and I decided it was time to get serious about stopping our daughter from sucking her thumb. We didn't want to make it an issue so we would not even address the fact that she was sucking her thumb. We just gently removed her thumb from her mouth and redirected her to another activity, really trying to keep her hands busy seemed to be the best. Eventually we started noticing no thumb sucking and we would praise her like crazy. My now 3 year old seems to have kicked the habit. The only time I think she may still suck her thumb are those few minutes before she falls asleep at bedtime.

I was a nail bitter growing up. My parents tried everything as well including the yucky nail polish. Nothing did the trick. My father used to call me "O" when he would see me with my fingers in my mouth (short for oral fixation, nice huh?). Finally the August before my freshman year of high school, I got braces (after years of being told I would never need them). I was so upset to start high school with braces. My orthodontist told me that if I bite my nails, I would have them on longer (I think my mother asked him to do this). So I quit. I refused to have those braces on a day longer than I needed to.
Now my daughter at 10 months old is an avid thumb sucker and has been since she was 3 months old. I know I will be dealing with this one day but for now, I know it soothes her and that is what she needs.

Hot sauce. She'll be even more ashamed if she's grows up with jacked up teeth because you didn't do anything to fix them.

Hi, yes thumb sucking does affect teeth and the palate and prolonged sucking can affect speech so it is a good idea to get them to break the habit early. Kids that are 3 or older can try a product called Thumbuddy To Love which teaches kids in a fun and positive way to let go of thumb sucking. It comes with a book, thump puppet and success chart and has won the Mom's Choice Awards for helping kids give up a comforting habit. Google Thumbuddy To Love...it works...i was a thumb sucker too and i wish they had this around when i was little.

As another person who did it, I say don't worry about it. My teeth were crooked along with my overbite. When they put on the braces at age 10 my teeth and mouth moved and it was no longer comfortable to suck my thumb.

I sucked my thumb until I went to kindergarten. Then just stopped. People were always telling me to stop and pulling my thumb out of my mouth. All it did was aggravate me. I never needed braces, my teeth were perfect. I didn't have a cavity until I was 24 and got lots of compliments on my teeth and smile. I say don't sweat it. I'm not with my 3 1/2 year old. She loves her thumb and that is fine. My sister never sucked her thumb and she wore braces.

I sucked my thumb well into elementary school. My mother tried everything she could think of (hot sauce, gloves, longer nails), to no avail. In about third grade, I decided that I wanted my ears pierced, and my mother cut a deal with me. If I quit sucking my thumb for 6 months, I could get my ears pierced. It worked, and I quit. Maybe there is something that your daughter wants badly enough that she is willing to give up the thumb and you can cut your own deal. Good Luck.

i sucked my thumb until i was 5 yrs. old. as my parents tell it, i visited the dentist and he explained to me that i would probably need braces if i continued to suck my thumb (and went into detail about what that included). so, i decided that i wasn't going to do it anymore and gave my beloved "silky" (blankie) to my older sister and that was the end of it...

my 14 mo. old daughter sucks her 2 middle fingers and i hope that i have as easy of a time of breaking her habit as my parents did with me!

Honey your first problem is worrying if you daughter is going to be ashamed or embarrased..because she is going to be teased by kids around her. You need to get over that now & take some HARSH measures or you ARE GOING TO END UP WITH A CHILD THATS 27 YEARS OLD STILL SUCKING THEIR THUMB & OR FINGERS, EVEN OUT IN PUBLIC...my family did not want to break my nephews thumb sucking habit because they to did not want to embarrass him or make him feel ashamed or put Hot Sauce on it so, today at 27 he stil does it....

I would recommend social stories for keeping hands out of mouth- the story line goes a little like this:
-I can use my hands for alot of things- such as playing, clapping and dancing.
-My hands can get germs on them (and then there is an icky graphic of of wormy things all over the hands)
-When I put my hands/fingers in my mouth I can get sick (shows graphic of really sad child)
-I dontl ike getting sick because then I cant go outside and play with my friends!
-Keeping my hands out of my mouth makes me happy!

This is a way to teach skills without directly
thos this puts the emphasis on the behavior without placing trauma on the child. I use these all the time in my special ed pre- k class for behaviors such as biting, pushing, getting angry, and also safety routines like firedrills. Its important to not make the child feel ashamed because its just a soothing technique. Sometimes I tell the story with a witeboard- you could do it with a pen and paper and draw it out. Ignore the comment above me- she is just a child and you are the adult- make good choices that support her self worth and self esteem. No need to stress about when shes 27- i guarantee that you will be able to break this habit without practices that are against state regulations in daycare centers. There are better strategies than hotsauce. Trust me- I work on the most intense behaviors and it takes the following skills: knowledge, love, and patience. goodluck!

We were able to break my daughter's habit. She picked it up at 1 1/2 yrs old at daycare copying a little boy, and she didn't stop until she was 5. We did several things at the same time. 1) We made sure to ask her daily about anything she might be nervous about that she might want to talk about, and we tried to calm whatever fears/doubts she had even if they were small, 2) we had her pick out favorite pieces of gum and allowed her to have a piece in the car (she was most likely to suck her thumb when idle), 3) we allowed her to only watch TV if she was not sucking her thumb, if the thumb was in her mouth, we turned the TV off, 4) we served her drinks with a straw, especially at night, and 5) we put a glove on her hand to sleep, and 6) we kept a paper pad and pencil for her in several places where she liked to sit, so that we could tell her to draw if her hands seemed idle (like at a doc office, or at a restaurant.), and last 7) we invented a catch phrase called "pop it and lock it" that meant to take the thumb out of her mouth and lock it into the palm of her hand. All these things together worked. Remeber always keep her hands active; it's not necessary to tell her why.

I'd vote for try not to sweat it, as hard as that may be. I sucked my thumb (at night only) until 4th grade, and I and my teeth turned out fine. : )

So basically you have the holy grail of a kid that self soothes..and you want to change that? She'll grow out of it when she is ready.

Here's what you don't want to do: you don't want to break your child's trust by threatening/tantalizing them with something that's just not do-able.
We had three thumb suckers aged 6, 4, and 3. We tried reasoning, but let's face it, thumb sucking after a certain age is a bad habit (or in our daughter's case, an addiction).
We finally used Mavala Stop, which is like a bad tasting fingernail polish that we got online. It stays on for 2 days, even with hand washing, playing with play dough, etc. Within 3 days, all kids stopped sucking their thumbs, and were really so relieved that we helped them break their habit.

keemka is spot on. try to ignore the dentist and forget about it. she is still so little and it is of great comfort to her. she likely won't do it forever and she'll likely need braces even if she stops tomorrow so just let her be little, let her suck her thumb and just put a few bucks into an ortho savings account. ;-) (or you might get lucky. i sucked my thumb until age 7 and have perfectly straight teeth without braces or retainer. i mean, these aren't even her adult teeth right now so why does it matter!?!?) good luck with your decision.

My son is turning 5 in three months and he's still sucking his thumb. We tried cutting a paper towel roll lengthwise and duct taping it to make it stronger. We then put it on his arm at night time only to discourage him from sucking his thumb when he sleeps. We also are using bandaids during the day and using a reward system. He has four warnings (if he sucks his time 4 times in one day, he won't receive a treat/dessert for that day) Some days are a fail but he is at least conscious about trying not to suck his thumb. BTW, he gets sick a lot and we tell him that it is because he sucks his thumb, but that does not really seem to help. We're keeping our fingers crossed that he will break this habit before he starts kindergarten this year. Good luck to all the other parents with this problem!!!

Hi,

As a paediatrician, I see thumbsucking in developmental terms. For babies, toddlers and some children, oral sucking provides a form of grounding and reassurance which is within their power to carry out at any time, anywhere, independent of their parents or caregivers, as suggested by Keemka. There are few other activities at these early stages which can provide such immediate self-administered comfort. Developing the ability to self soothe in other ways (caressing a toy or clutching a blankie, falling asleep happily alone in one's own bed and later, increasingly developing the ability to verbalize one's needs and feelings), gradually provides a child with an expanding repertoire of coping skills.

Looked at this way, not only is thumbsucking at three a developmentally appropriate self-soothing behaviour, it is a sign that your daughter is taking care of herself emotionally, using the skills she has already acquired. This is the beginning of her healthy autonomous development as a coping kid.

Concerns about dental damage are longer term. She will lose her primary teeth around age six and after that the permanent teeth come in. That is when jaw development and tooth alignment can be disrupted by persistent thumbsucking. Please don't push the panic button... many young children spontaneously stop thumbsucking on their own well before age six or seven. That doesn't mean ignoring it.

What it absolutely does mean is recognizing that your challenge is not 'breaking her of a habit', which somehow (and maybe unfairly) puts me in mind of training a pony, but rather to recognize that there are very good reasons why she is doing this, that it is probably actually even selected for, in evolutionary terms, as a stress reducer, and that as parents, we should be gentle coaches and mentors to children in the learning of alternative coping strategies. I agree with lots of the simple gentle redirection strategies used by Ideativity and Tessygirl. Three year olds want autonomy and power over their own bodies. They also have very short attention spans. For this reason alone, diverting them to a more positive activity, as suggested, is a wonderful way to expand her menu of options, while achieving your goal of breaking the automatic tendency to thumb suck when she's stressed in some way or bored.

I winced at the suggestions of hot sauce or bad tasting paint-on medications. In this age group, many children are likely to internalize a message of badness and punishment from this approach. Lecturing, withdrawing privileges or threatening bad outcomes is likely to yield similar results. Three year olds don't have the ability to think longterm, so bribing is probably not going to work and also may set up a bad pattern between you. Setting up a reward system may be a fun adjunct approach later on, but please don't take away earned rewards for slip-ups. That sets the bar at perfection and actually reinforces failure more than success (imagine if you earned a bonus for productivity at work and your boss later took it away when you had a bad sales day!)

At 3 years of age, depending on how verbal your daughter is, starting the habit of regularly encouraging her to talk about any fears or bad feelings, as suggested by Ideativity, is a great general idea. It will help promote healthy and secure attachment with you. You'll get a rich sense of how her mind works. She'll learn that you want to know about her unhappy feelings and it may also yield all kinds of important information about specific stresses which might drive her thumb sucking or other self-soothing behaviours on a given day (and you may be able to help address these and reduce the need to use thumbsucking). Ultimately, helping her to learn to identify what she is feeling and deal with the feelings in a positive way is much more important than whether she is sticking a thumb in her gum... or even if she has funny teeth because she loves her darn thumb so much!

Sorry this is so long and didactic... I was a bit surprised to see this post on AT and it triggered a lot of ideas in response to comments made here... it's not meant to be critical, but reflects my sense that this is not a simple problem which can be 'hacked' and my hope that it might be useful in seeing her behaviour in a more benign context.

Good Lord, that was much too long.

@Gatineauhills - BEAUTIFULLY stated. I bet you are a truly wonderful doctor.

Be logical, act on the causes of tumb sucking. Children need to be reassured. Thumb sucking is for self soothing. By engaging in an aggressive comportment you might get results but it only will make matters worse for the poor child. Try more hugs, give them more quality time, allow them to carry around a blankly or a teddy bear, be more kind! I was a terrible thumb sucker and swore to myself to act on it for my children. I try to be very nice with my son, no yelling, lots of hugs, few rules but strictly followed to give him a safe, well known environment. No thumb sucking. He is the only one in my family!

@Gatineauhills - For reals, that was awesome. I want to my kid to be in your practice! Can we get this person a guest column or something?

I liked jodieann's perspective, too, as a special ed pre-k teacher. That seems like a really positive way of dealing with lots of different behaviors.

I have no advice or insight, except to say that I never sucked my thumb, lost interest in my pacifier at around 7 months, and still had a horrific overbite and terrible teeth that required years and years of orthodontia. I don't think it's so black and white.

I sucked my thumb until I was 8 years old I believe. My mom tried to put hot sauce on it, but it didn't stop me. I ended up getting a cut on my thumb and had to wear a bandaid--that broke the long habit for me.

Best wishes, it sounds like you have a lovely daughter. You have a pediatrician who weighed in on this, hopefully you would listen to them. Good Questions blog is genius but I think it crosses a line when people ask how to cure medical conditions or how to raise a child, especially when people are claiming that something or another will cause dental damage with no studies to back up what they say. Also, hot sauce and nasty nail polish for a child? Isn't that kind of harsh? As the doctor said, how will she trust you after that? She's 3. Please listen to the experts and continue to be a loving mom.

I have read that dental issues are only a concern if it continues past 6 years. My son never sucked his thumb but was very dependent on my presence when he would wake up at night. Whereas my daughter started at 4 months and is now 6 months. I have made a conscious decision to pay close attention when she is awake and distract her from sucking her thumb. If you observe your child you will notice that he/she will resort to the sucking when: FRUSTRATED, BORED, SAD, HUNGRY OR OVERWHELMED. It is a self soothing mechanism which is wonderful for their independance and completely natural. However If we are not attentive to their emotions it becomes a clutch just like moms shoving pacifiers in their toddlers mouth to shut them up. No child responds to negative reinforcement. hot sauce and metal devices are TERRIBLE and a form of abuse! respect your baby and pay attention. The sucking should go away by year 1 or 2 when they become more independent and vocal about their emotions.

Mittens

http://www.amazon.com/Mavala-Stop-Biting-Sucking-0-3-Fluid/dp/B0000YUXI0

Clear polish to put over the nail that will discourage nail biting AND thumb sucking. I don't see how this would be shaming. I can definitely see how hot sauce, on the other hand, would most certainly be over the top and, IMO, cruel!

When I was little, we were given wet rags to bite/suck on instead. I think it probably took me awhile to outgrow biting on my blanket when I was little. I don't have any structural deformities in my mouth so I'm guessing it poses no threat, if she'll opt for that instead