A weekly celebration of the chair through photography
Title: Chair & Dead WifePhotographer: Kathy OsbornChair/designer: Unknown
(About Chair & - All Chair & photographs can be purchased online at the Meter Gallery)
Hmmmm, not a huge fan of the portrayal of gun violence in art... this will NOT be one of the images I consider purchasing at year end.
This would not be good therapy for my apartment (okay, house).
I am shocked that you guys would post this. I mean c'mon who really has room for double sinks in their apartments.
Not to mention a COMPLETE lack of any kitchen triangle. For a kitchen that size (count the tiles, that's at LEAST 22x12 there's just no excuse for a poor layout.
Gross!But I wonder if he'll have to sell the place for cheap to cover his legal costs?
I plead guilty. To having a double sink. But in my own defense, I must say that it's original to the apartment. I didn't put it in. I swear. I guess I could've taken it out, but I didn't.Meanwhile, I'm not crazy about the whole dead wife thing, either, with the whole gun thing. Don't want a wife? Don't get one!This little scene reminds me of something I saw in the H&H (I think?) a while back about these tiny little murder scenes that this lady investigator created a LONG time ago - maybe this is one? They were created for police academy students as exercises on how to figure out whodunits.
Curtis wins "Quote of the Day" for "Don't want a wife? Don't get one!"
Everyone has salvaged this post for me.
We aim to please. Er, perhaps "aim" not being the BEST word here, considering... ;)
We now need some tiny CSI guys to come bag the evidence.And that said, maybe she really had it coming. The previous photo in the series was the wife banging a little milkman doll./putting on my asbestose boxers and running away as fast as possible.
What's between the stove and the sink? Is that an under the counter fridge?
Good Question-- How do you get blood stains out of grout?
I'm reminded of a true story that a friend of mine told me. He was listening to a couple of reeeeally old guys talking about something they heard on the news about a body that had been found in New Jersey with the ears cut off.So one of them says, "Can you believe it? With the ears cut off? I mean, come on! Kill 'em, sure -- but don't cut their f*ing ears off!"Anyway ... come on, Maxwell, cut in front of that dang DMV line, so you can post something that I'll less terrible about commenting on! Quick!
Chris, methinx it could be a VERY early model of dishwasher? He probably lashed out at her for spending too much on remodeling the kitchen. What a timely cautionary tale for our times.
I think SHE tried to shoot HIM, but his tie deflected the bullet. Or it ricocheted off the Corian.
T'weren't Corian back then! 'Twas Formica, methinx. But with that dark surface that it's showing, could have been soapstone, which was popular in upscale homes (see previous paragraph about spending too much $!) and in Chemistry labs. In my old 1930's kitchen I put new Formica that looks kind of that dark grey soapstone.Patrick, blood out of grout? I'm not sure why I think that bleach might work. At any rate, I had no experience at that, though I know that blood comes out of clothes more easily with cold water, whereas hot water "sets" the stain. But ... uh ... I might want to be reminded not to play house with you, just in case, since you're asking.
I may have unraveled the mystery... she was the interior designer, and this is the "after."
That just doesn't explain why he looks like he's sorry.
I think he looks like he has a headache.Also, I am also guilty of having a double sink and I love it!
I think the 'dancing internet baby' that used to appear in episodes of Ally McBeal bares a striking resemblance to the father.Having said that, I am also not entirely convinced the one wearing green is really a woman, either...
Well, I suppose it could be Glennda; she might have threatened to reveal her identity to people that the "husband" might not wanted to have told. Now, I think we're getting somewhere.
Isn't Art fun?!
Or, the "woman" was painting the chair red, and decided to rest her head in a pool of spilled paint.The man (Is he wearing only one shoe? "If the loafer fits, you must acquit!") is simply bemoaning the lack of kitchen triangulation by enjoying the vibrations of his Frigidaire.The gun is just a red herring. The chair is a red chair.
I love my double sink! Am I supposed to hate it/feel guilty? Is it poor design? Quick -- educate my uninformed self.
is the woman only wearing one shoe too? Is there only one pair between the two of them? Maybe that's the problem.
Ellen - although I haven't YET used mine as it's meant to be, it's just like the one that one of my grandmothers had and I like it. Since most people don't like to wash dishes, they like to have more of their kitchen devoted to counter space; all renovations in my building have had it like that. The "guilt" thing that I was joking about? I was just having fun with the idea of guilt and my sink in the context of this murderous little scene we're talking about.patrick - Yes, art is fun, and this funny little forum for this has been quite a gas! I LOVE the idea of simply resting one's head in a pool of spilled paint, and I agree with Joan that this thread has salvaged (nay, enriched?) this image for me.
Ellen--I think trying to get *actual* tips/feedback out of this thread is waaaay ambitious on your part, at this point. ;)But your "one shoe between them" is exactly the kind of thinking we need to continue here!(ps-- in all seriousness-- I don't think double sinks are a bad thing at all. Ooops, there I go, getting all practical again!!)
caption--"The new Dutch Boy "Paint Revolver" goes horribly worng."
(as does, apparently, my spelling...)
Now I am in lust with the fact that they have two drainboards. They could get a custom cutting board made to fit on top, if they needed to. This way, they'd have counterspace AND be sure they their dishes don't drip all over. I am very messy at washing dishes and would like their drainboards . . . or their dishwasher.This, tho, seems like it is the least of their worries at this point.His tie is too wide.
There is something very religious about her (re)pose... robe-ish "dress", halo of paint, arms outstretched, the slightly ascension-esque almost-crossed-at-ankle legs...but the chair... hot or not?
a big beautiful kitchen, but it looks like no meals have been prepared here. maybe that's why he shot her.
I'm just glad my double-sink isn't some major design faux pas. Alas -- I have no counter space, or cabinets for that matter, *but* I do have a dishwasher, so maybe my double sink is completely useless after all. Curses!!Patrick (the other one) -- I'll vote a solid "no" on the relative hotness of the chair -- and a weak "hot" for the black and white tiles which I have always -- sadly -- adored in kitchens. However, I prefer the more checker board style.Throwaway comment -- are those yellow leggings she's sporting? But, hot cinched waistline - I'm jealous.
If CSI has taught us anything, it has taught us to seek out the alternative scenario-- so... hubbie looks sad cuz he came home to this scene, and is not holding his head, but rather a tiny cell phone to his ear as he dials 9-1-1. And bemoans the kitchen's lack of triangulation. And the chair's un-hotness.
Wow look at all that storage. I wonder if she's got a crock pot or pressure cooker somewhere in there. I bet she burned the roast. Daddy's had a hard day apparently. Wait til Bobby and Timmy get home.
She doesn't need a crock pot -- that looks like a Chamber's stove! This kitchen was totally decked out 50 years ago...I used to have a double sink with a sliding drainboard top in my studio. I tossed it when I renovated because that sliding drainboard was the only counterspace in the whole kitchen.
Hmmm... I was thinking that they saved all their money and spent it on an overpriced modern chair filled with cranberry juice. Then, the chair sprung a leak and the wife slipped in it. The husband is dialing customer service at the high end shop where he bought the chair, but the man who manufactured it is the same guy who made that salami hot-tub at the current P.S. 1 exhibition, then ran away to Germany and sent his assistant to change the salami - but not before it decomposed and really stank up the gallery and caused a few people to vomit. So he is stuck with an absurd, leaky, expensive chair. And a wife with a concussion. As for that gun, it probably just fell off the top of the fridge - that's where my dad kept his.While on the phone, he is overcome with regret over his impulse purchase - especially since he has two sinks and only one chair for both him and his wife. And he called customer service before calling the ambulance.Honestly, I feel like this picture is trying to tell us not to be absurd with our lives. Or you will end up slipping in cranberry juice.Who says this isn't apartment therapy? I'm in mine, and this is a very therapeutic exercise!
You're right, Matt, I really leapt before I looked on that one.
"As for that gun, it probably just fell off the top of the fridge - that's where my dad kept his."...now i'm going to be up all night puzzling over why you'd keep a gun on top of the fridge. there's probably some perfectly logical reason why this would be the obvious gun storage location, but for the life of me i can't figure out what it is...
Because if you keep it on top of the stove it keeps exploding.
Exactly, Patrick. You truly understand logic out on the farm.Honestly, though, I think chairs filled with colorful liquids, like those 80's relaxation wave simulators from Sharper Image, would make for some fun furniture. Also, I remember as a kid seeing those Elton John shoes that had goldfish swiming in the heels. I know it is cruel, but I loved the idea, anyways. Maybe goldfish in the chairs?This conversation thread just may make me purchase this print.
Ellen - yes those are yellow tights which is very olsen twinesque.Is that the Ivar table from Ikea?
Undoubtedly the Ivar. Hence, the sad portrait of when "some assembly required" goes horribly awry.
Hee-hee! They should have called Jerry and Ajna (the Ikea movers) and avoided this whole mess!'When some assembly required goes wrong' (or anything similar) is a great title - I can almost justify this purchase for my kitchen fridge.
Matt - The high-end cranberry-juice-filled chair idead is so rich and delicious I can barely stand. Partly because I actually love cranberry juice.P(too) - "Because if you keep it on top of the stove it keeps exploding." almost made coffee spray out of my mouth, nose and eyes all over my monitor, it made me laugh so suddenly. I love the inifinitive case in the idea of "keeps" exploding. Sort of makes it seem like that same gun exploded; was repaired; exploded again; and then the gunsmith finally said to the guy, "Do you mind if I ask where you're keeping this gun?" "Why, on top of the stove, of course!" "This is just me talkin', Frank, but did you ever think about on top of the fridge? I don't think it will get hot enough up there to explode." "Well, I'll have to think about it, but it makes sense; maybe I will."
My other idea is that the chair turned red the moment the wife was shot. But only the husband can see it. It is his Telltale Heart. He panics and puts the body in the fridge and then washes his hands in his ample sinks. The police come and question him, but all he can do is stare at the pulsing red chair that the policeman sits on. Finally he can take it no more. He admits his wife got shot when the gun, which was always stored over the fridge, fell on the stove and exploded.
I read a few years ago in the NYT about dollhouse crime scene photos being used to train detectives. I think there was a book available too.
All the gunsmith's preventive counsel having gone for naught, he drank himself into the kind of stupor from which he would never emerge, until he wore down his tongue from making little gun-shaped outlines on the wall of his room, and bled to death from his mouth.
Of the pictures in the series, this is the first I've liked. Well, it could have been better staged, but at least this one has a story. Also, as evidenced by posts so far, it seems to inspire people to fantasize.
Blood, schmood.The real horror is the man's tie. End of story.
How do we know that she is HIS wife? Just says Chair and Dead Wife -
Maybe they keep kosher and that's why they have the double sink. Now I'm trying to work that in. Did she mix up the milk and meat spoons? The brisket was too dry on shabbos?
Those arent legwarmers, those are yellow capri's under that dres!
Sigh... Ironic images of murdered women are in the top 10 reasons I hate art.And a lazy cliché.
I love this and you guys!
Got a tip, home tour, or other story our readers should see?