It wasn't until I had moved 8 times, married my husband, and moved into a loft that I came face to face with my clutter obsession. This post is all about me and my personal struggle with letting go and learning to live with less (which sounds all happy when you read about it online, but confronting your own daily habits can be a bit more shocking and hard to do than one might think.). I'm midwestern born and raised, we have basements, attics and garages to fill with treasures we find, don't need and should have thrown away. If any of this sounds familiar, click through to read true words from a real life experience.... Sarahrae Exposed.
AT On: My Real Life Battle With Clutter
Sarahrae Exposed
It's easy to sit down and tell everyone how to reduce the clutter found in their homes. We can show you pictures, tell you stories and even give you real life examples of shining houses that have accomplished these things. But what we can't do is empty your house from top to bottom, pack it all up and make you see exactly the things that your house is hiding. But that's just exactly what happened to me and it's what I plan on sharing with all of you today.
After college I moved around a great deal. Because I could... I mean why not? It was a time in my life that I could roam without fear of mortgages, kids or many if any responsibilities. I moved from to Alaska (which if you haven't been you should go!), back to Missouri, to Minnesota, down to Milwaukee and then back to the Kansas City area into the town of Independence, Missouri (where Harry Truman lived!).
It was in Independence that my packrat nature really started to explode. My husband and I had planned on staying around this part of the country for awhile and the nesting began. We lived in a great location for dragging home auction finds, rehabbing furniture, taking on project after project and letting the creative side of our interests truly shine.
That is until we signed the papers to move into a loft apartment in downtown Kansas City. A space that didn't have a garage to stash your mass amount of tools and lawn care equipment. A space that didn't have an attic to hide away failed projects to work on later, clothes you want to "get back into" and a large amount of Christmas decorations. A space that brought you face to face with the reality of the amount of "stuff and things" a house really holds.
Now before you all judge me and consider me to be like the crazy guy who jams his car full of papers, trash and clothes and only has room for him to sit, think about your own home. And I'm not talking about outlandish things, but normal things like extra linens that you might not use on the bed anymore, or a magazine collection that sure is great to have, but you really haven't dug into it in the last 6 months, so why do you have them around?
I was like many a midwestern (any anywhere around the country for that matter) family who because you have the space, means it has to be filled with something. A bowl of rocks, a vase of sticks, a chair, a table... or maybe it's something that can actually be useful, like a craft room that because you have a whole room means you can outfit it wall to wall with bits and bobbins. It's easy to fill a house, harder to fill an apartment because it's obvious what will fit in your space and what won't. But in a house... the gloves are off and the stuff just comes pouring in.
Before moving into our loft we rented a dumpster (which was filled), had a garage sale (which was a huge success) and made close to 10 trips to the thrift store to donate box after box - and bag after bag of stuff and clothes that we liked but didn't love. Stuff that we even loved, but were tired of having around us.
Technically the loft is larger in square footage than our house was, but once we started packing, we knew it was time to start letting go.
The job wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. There were old photos that we had, but didn't really need to keep around (or had scanned them in digitally), Birthday cards, Christmas cards, clothes that we had spent a great deal of money on but couldn't wear any longer.... it's easy to acquire things but difficult to let them go. The dumpster helped with that. I would be lying if I said there wasn't a shed tear here and there... because there was, but there was also a large weight that was lifted when every box, bag, and piece of furniture was packed, moved and unloaded into our new space.
It's easier now to only bring in what has a home. We have caught ourselves in the stores while we are out for new essential things (wireless network antennas, extension cords, trash cans... ) asking the question out loud (because that makes it real), where is this going to go? Would we be ok waiting and getting something of better quality later? Could it serve more than one purpose if we decide to change things later on (like a tv stand becoming an side table or a door becoming a computer desk)?
It's easy to see that our closet area is only so big and thus only holds so many clothes. Our kitchen only has so many doors and drawers and thus we only need 2 sets of mixing bowls instead of 4.
This was a difficult road that The Midwestern Fall Cure talks a great deal about. Hoping to repair your home before it comes to the point of packing everything up and unpacking it room by room like we did. I wish someone would have told me sooner that the key to happiness was a well decorated house AND clean closets as well as partially empty ones.
It's fantastic to know that the stuff and things that have been donated, Craigslisted, and garage saled have all moved on to have new life in new homes where they are hopefully making someone else happy. It's a great feeling to know that although I liked certain pieces, that I can always find new ones and that the search and hunt for great pieces of home decor is the best part of the game.
Comments (18)
Daily Email
Top Tours
- Becke & Lee's Vintage Cabin
- Chris's Ontario Beach House
- Judy's Sunny & Stylish Family Home
- Lauren and Eric's Mixed-Use Modern Dwelling
- Nick, Jane & Luca's Colorful Space
Top Posts
Today in Marketplace
© 2009 Apartment Therapy
I am double trouble. Not only am I a nest-er I am an organizer. So all those things I hoard are all well organized. Hoarding is such a responsibility and consumes so much time. I will never be a minimalist, but being half-way in between is something to look forward too. What do the experts think?
view zzaptx's profile
house tour please! (when you're ready :)
view Louisa's profile
I live in a loft--3000 sq. feet. There's a largish walkin space, where the washer/dryer stack up, and where we put all the stuff that had been in a garage. We have two small bedrooms that had been built as offices when the place was a factory/warehouse in 1903. We're building a clothes closet/linen storage room.
While a loft means that everything is out in the open, it also means you don't have to be stuck with just the 4 walls. You can build real walls, use sliding walls, stretch canvas to make movie walls (that's what we call them in LA.) or find a bunch of the ever-useful Expedit bookcases on Craigslist.
view Palmetto's profile
I get what you're saying, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being a packrat (or accumulator) -- provided it doesn't go too far. You have to live in a way that makes you feel comfortable; you don't have to strip down your life b/c of some aesthetic. Some people like a little bit of chaos in their lives.
view Bolder's profile
Bolder- You are correct, but what I didn't know until I was forced to purge things and sever ties with my habits was that it wasn't making me comfortable, even though I thought it was.
And trust me... we still kept a bit of the chaos!
view sarahrae's profile
Sara, you are to be commended for doing what you have done. You obviously know how difficult it is to take that first step.
My husband is a hoarder and I tend to be a purger. He has threatened to "purge" me if I get rid of any of his stuff. (I threaten to call 1-800-GOT JUNK).
Unfortunately, we keep buying houses to contain his "stuff," a lot of which is JUNQUE. We live in Chicago, also in a loft, but still own a large house in the suburbs (on the market FOREVER...I'm ready to give it away), a Wisconsin lake house that was 50% destroyed in last summer's flood, and a tiny house in southern France. We also have a couple of storage lockers, again to contain "stuff." Meanwhile, his van and all rooms in his private practice are STUFFED.
Where would you start?
Penny
view pennylock's profile
I can see myself in this - I grew up in a household of packrats and as much as I try to whittle down and organize, little pockets of things come to haunt me...
...like the junk drawers and the storage room downstairs in my building where I rarely venture, and the drawer that seems to have accumulated 5 years worth of Chinese delivery menus, plastic spoons and Soy Sauce packets (Why do I keep this crap???)
I even found a box this weekend that I hadn't looked at in years in my linen closet that was full of stuff that needs to get thrown out - and it will, but just not today because I'm going to a party after work...
view bepsf's profile
Getting organized is like losing weight - no one can do it for you and someone telling you it needs to be done just adds to your stress about it rather than telling you something you don't already know.
Having recently begun a major organizing effort of my own, it's crazy how things you've put off for years take minutes to complete, how you are glad to be rid of things you thought you couldn't live without, and how freeing it is once you begin.
Start with a drawer or a small pile out in the open. Your success will spur you on to the next drawer or pile. Don't let the spark die out and before you know it you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
view LilyC's profile
Bepsf - just throw it away. It's easy. I swear.
Husband got home with a bunch of new shiny crap. "Here, honey, you need these, and aren't you glad I bought those?" And I thought his packratism is cured... :(
Kudos on the purge, SarahLee. We're moving into a house with a basement and I shudder to think of what my beloved will do with it.
view firebird's profile
bepsf:
As strange as this suggestion sounds, try throwing every single menu that you have, all of the packets, and all of the plastic silverware into the recycling bins and the trash. You might curse yourself once or two trying to remember a favored restaurant or a delectable dish, but you will have nothing in the take-out junk drawer.
LilyC makes the point that starting out with small tasks lead to more ambitious ones. I read a great tip on one of the many home websites that find myself looking at; take 10 minutes every day to reorganize, purge, and/or clean one area in your house. Some might take you a little longer while some might take a few minutes longer. I have found that my place is less and less packed and more and more organized now. The whole process has taken less than a month, and I even skipped a few days.
view hendrickb11's profile
My own packrat cure was a divorce. I took only what I really loved, and left the closets full of crap for my ex.
view Lisa Hunter (Montreal)'s profile
I live in a loft with no closets. Have become a rabid minimalist. With this shift, comes a simultaneous need to shift in my behavior as a consumer. It's been a five-year transition, but I'm getting better and better at it. The rewards are huge.
view VLADCOLE's profile
I know exactly what you went through. My problem though is that I am 55years old and the keeper of everything as people pass away. Some how i just can't seem to part with things. As a result I too have a storage unit and my dads house that is full and my own home. I think some people are just the keepers of things for many reasons. The unfortunate thing is that you pass it on to your children. One of mine also lives in a loft in Chicago and has things that should find their way to the alley. Another shares a apartment in the city also but is a major collector of things like is mother.
I think the best answer was from Lisa in Montreal
view cheryl1's profile
My mom is a big hoarder. Her biggest issue is parting with clothes from "better times," especially kids clothes. A couple of things that help her:
1. Doing a little bit at a time. I would dump half of her closet in one round, she needs to give away a little bit over time.
2. Providing emotional support. It isn't just "stuff" to her.
3. Telling her, "You just don't have the space to keep all this and enjoy it"
view gquaker's profile
When you can - recycle. Give it to someone whose need is truly greater than your own. It makes getting rid of stuff feel good!
view whytephoenix's profile
Firebird and Hendrick -
Thanks for the support - I'm thinking that I can at least bring the plastic forks/spoons/paper napkins into the office kitchen where they'll get some use from the folks here...
...and start asking the Chinese Delivery folks when I place my orders that there's no need for them to bring me the little bags of plasticware with my Egg Foo Young and Fried Rice.
:-)
view bepsf's profile
We live in a 2950 sq. ft house in New Orleans which has zero storage since our attic is full of the necessities of modern living - like water heaters, air handlers - so we've had to do the purging thing. We've donated so much stuff it's crazy. Well, what's really crazy is how much of our stuff we had parted with before we moved here since we went from 2 homes to a blended shotgun apartment in the French Quarter to a renovated double shotgun in the Garden District. You'd think that since we now have *both* sides of the double (and a camelback) we'd be better off, but sometimes we feel more cramped by stuff now.
I will say that the more emotional purging was done before we moved here, which makes this round a bit easier.
view grlwprls's profile
Ah, Sararae, I feel your pain. Last year, my husband (who's such a packrat that he has difficultly disposing of his pocket detritus) and I decided to pull up stakes and move to Alaska. (It IS an awesome place!) At the time, we had a room in our apartment that was so crammed with crap you could hardly open the door, and the rest of the place wasn't much better.
It took weeks and weeks and countless trips to Goodwill to clear that place out, but eventually we got the point where everything but our furniture fit in the back of our small pickup.
We didn't end up staying in Alaska (no jobs, who knew?) but I am so glad we gave it a shot. Not just for the experience, but for the purge it necessitated. Getting rid of all that stuff we didn't need wasn't a loss; it was a huge gain. Now I actually know what I have -- and use it -- and don't miss anything.
view Kalakala's profile