apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I am in a color crisis. After getting the go-ahead from my husband and painting our bedroom, dining area and hallway a gorgeous grayish green, he informs me he hates green. We paged thru some decorating magazines I have and he shows me a picture with white walls and charcoal accents. He says he loves white walls. I hate them, and the pic looked 'cold'. I countered with one of soft tan walls and darker brown accents. He made a remark about going to look for his bong since we were tripping back to the 70's. I've completely stopped. I don't know what to do now to make us both happy. :-(((

You could...

1) compromise by changing one room (maybe the hall?) back to white but leave the others green

2) buy him something he REALLY wants to go in one of the rooms so he doesn't notice the walls so much

3) if you really love it, keep the green everywhere but find a new husband :)

Post some pictures if you can--I think you'll get better advice!

Trying to decorate around the taste of most of the men my age(mid 40s)? Ack! That's exactly why I am buying a small house and staying single.

Oh gosh, I'm having flashbacks to the same arguments with my ex...I show him a plethora of paint chips and ask him to pick his favorites, and he sits back and just flat out ignores me...so I picked my favorites...and he'd tell me he hated them. So I had to make him think the color was his idea, even though it wasn't. I'd leave random paint chips sitting around the house 'accidentally' and then he'd come up with "Why don't we use this one?" even though it was exactly the same one he had said he didn't like before. Try some reverse pshychology :) I think men can just be difficult when they think their woman is trying to 'force' them into something, but ease up when you trick them into thinking they have some autonomy :)

I love that gray and blue bedroom, reminds me a bit of my own with that fluffy rug....

Oceandreamer....we went from a house with all white walls to painting the entire main floor nantucket gray (HC111 from benjamain moore) and my husband hated it the first few weeks....then he stopped noticing the wall color and started to notice the warmer feel of the house.

I think you should post some pictures too, to get better advice...

my husband used to have lots of opinions about our decor when we first got married. Mostly he was resistant to change--"there's nothing wrong with this color so why change it?"-type of thing. Finally he realized he always liked the outcome so now he's very supportive. Maybe yours will come around too. :)

Love that emerald/blue room. And I want that teapot. And the tiles.

OD56, I don't think the crisis is the color. ;) The real problem is that he concurred with a design decision and then went back on it after you did all the work. The next real problem is that when you tried to make a compromise (the tan room), he made fun of it. He's not being fair.

My suggestion would be to stall on the green rooms for a while and see if he gets used to it. The fact that he waited until after the painting was done to tell you he hated green might indicate that at one point, this was something he thought he could put up with, but he was overwhelmed by the results.

If he threatens to repaint, let it be the room he spends the most time in. Or maybe there's another room he uses often that can be white and charcoal. Being that you did ask his consent the first time, there's no reason at all that you should have to give up all of the green (or even most of it, imo).

Good luck!

Wow - thanks for the comments. They were just the kick I needed to stop whining.

I took some pics today and put them on my Flickr page:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/oceandreamer56/sets/72157608007310493/.

Madsarah - your last solution had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. There've been a few times this past year when I wondered what maggot had crawled inside my brain and made me think I wanted to get married again - at 50! for God's sake, and after being single for nearly 18 years. I was content! I didn't have to fight for bed space, I could paint my walls whatever color I wanted, and I didn't have to worry if the retro "Surf's Up" decor in my kitchen suited anyone else's taste.

Anyway, take a look at the pics and feel free to leave comments (except about the furniture - I know it's fugly - it's getting replaced after the painting and new floors are done) and suggestions.

Thanks again!!

Wait until you guys get a load of this: the night after I posted that last comment, when I finally gave up trying to convince myself I was going to fall asleep any minute, I got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Standing in front of the cupboard I had both an "A-ha!" and a "duh!" moment at the same time (don't try this at home kids - it hurts!) when I realized the answer was staring me right in the face. Gray. He'd painted the cupboard doors a medium gray. He'd pointed out several pictures in the magazines with gray in them. Maybe this is workable - instead of white or green walls, I'll do a couple of soft, barely there shades of gray, I can use a few green accents, and paint the guest/craft room with the green that I used in our bedroom since I hope to be spending quite a bit of time working in there.

Off to Home Depot and Lowes as soon as they open. Pick up every paint chip I can find in lighter grays that aren't too blue or too red (he doesn't like red, either). Tape them all over the walls. Eliminate some. Tape them on other walls. Eliminate some more. Re-arrange them. Narrow the choices down to about 6. Leave these on the coffee table. Husband comes home. Sits Down. Says,"What's this?" I say, "Since you don't like green, and the magazine photos you pointed out have gray in them, I figured that might be a good compromise." Him: "You're changing colors? You're going to repaint what you've already painted?? Why???" Me: "Because you said you didn't like green." Him: "Why don't you just paint all the walls the color of the bedroom? I like that color."

Imagine several seconds of silence while my brain tries to process this. Then several more while I fight the almost overwhelming urge to strangle him. "But honey, you said you don't like green."

"That's not green - it's gray. Isn't it?"

Y'all can find me at my new home - 3rd barstool down at Trout's....

Hey there oceandreamer. Checked out your photos on flicker. The colors i would choose are based on the style and colors of the furniture that you currently have. I would keep some walls white and paint some nice warm colors as feature walls, so it adds some drama without it being too much! Plus it is not a bad idea to 'compromise' Greens are very tricky in my opinion .. I would go for more warm yellow, gold tones and perhaps be a bit daring in some areas - such as nice citrus green perhaps in the dining, bath or kitchen, which are a bit less serious.
These house tours have some nice colors that may suit your taste. Perhaps going over them with your partner will give him some idea of how the colors really look in an actual setting.
Meghan & Shauns Spacious Flat has some daring tones that would work with white.
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sf/house-tours/house-tour-meghan-shawns-spacious-vibrant-flat-san-francisco-070786
or a little more safe but just as warm, Lindsey's NY Comfort
http://gallery.apartmenttherapy.com/photo/041708lindsey/1living/medium