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Probably depends on the age of the party-goers. For those a year or two or three out of college (my age group), there are definitely still drunken people around.

Emily

No, times really haven't changed - We've just gotten older and we either prefer not to explore our limits any longer, or we no longer wish to deal with the inevitible consequences the day after - or some of us realize that our responsibilities (Children, Jobs, etc.) outweigh our desire to get smashed.

...but many of the younger set and/or folks on vacation do still continue to drink till they get stupid - by which time, I'm in a taxi on my way home.

Everyone's been cokey for the past few years. This recession is bound to bring back cringe-worthy, old school public drunkeness. I know I'm working on it.

When I was in my 20s no one expected to have a really "big" job. We were expected to be immature...and it didn't seem too big a deal to show up hung over for work after a weekday evening of happy-hour partying. Now the 20-something crowd seems to fall into two groups--the high achievers who want to be taken seriously (and thus would never get drunk on a "school night") and the less-ambitious types who still have a whole lot of growing up to do.

I also think older (30s or 40s) adults are likely to drink more in the company of close friends--a long dinner over a few (or more) bottles of wine is not uncommon with my group of friends. The drinking is just a lot more subtle than it would be at a party.

It's called growing up.

Just the other day my friend and I were talking about how these days more than one glass of wine means it's time for a nap rather than time to cut loose!

Unfortunately, I know way too many 30-somethings who drink to the point of excess way too often. I would be happy with two drinks and an early night in. They, on the other hand, aren't satisfied with less than a 6-pack and closing down the bar. It's pretty depressing.

At work, I'm trying to implement drink maximums and passing out drink tickets at functions because of the economy (a non-profit organization should not be spending thousands and thousands of donor dollars on booze), and because it's tacky. No one needs more than two drinks at a work function. And if you do, you're working at the wrong place.

Man, I sound like a buzzkill.

smoking at parties is long gone??? no drinking in a dinner party?? wtf is wrong with you people???
im not saying that you should end laying on the floor but what 'bout more laughs and loud music, moving the table to make some room and dance with your guests! that's fun!!
are you dead inside??
'bout smoking, im a smoker, and if i go to a house as a guest and the won't let me smoke i'll be very offended cause they now im a smoker.

HA HA HA. COME TO AUSTRALIA!

doesn;t matter what age you are, it's more about social standings. lower to about upper middle class citizens all seem to get smashed at parties. lower to upper class either dont seem to drink at all or get more hammered than the rest of us and drive around and smash their cars into parked vans or get booked and sent to jail for a few days. :P

It's funny how things are out of fashion when you get too old for them.

You all sound like a bunch of fuddy duddies.
My friends and I have a yearly holiday dinner where we all get rudely sloppy. We've taken to getting private rooms at the restaurant so we don't (er, i don't) offend others.
But drinking to excess happens on rarer occasions now.

And I'd like to say that it's not so much growing up as it is getting old. :-P

Totally depends on age/work status. My friends (youngish, grad school or just out) drink PLENTY. Mostly those who avoid it can't afford it or just have a strong aversion to being drunk (young children are great deterrents).

i mean house!

You know what else, I think it's typical that older people just aren't so sloppy anymore. Knowing how to hold one's liquor comes with age; they're not necessarily drinking in moderation. I was thinking about this regarding the drink ticket suggestion and the last time I went to a function where this was in place - nobody liked it, young or old(er). Most of the ones where I most recently worked had a partial cash bar, free until 7, and just wine or beer. Due to my role at the company, I was busy at the registration desk and didn't get the free drinks in the social hour (and everyone forgot me and mingled and I didn't get any appetizers either) and when I had to pay for wine - it was horrible, horrible wine. My theory is that a glass was more expensive than the bottle. Made me wish I'd snuck in a flask or something, not to get sloppy but it was such a long day for me.

Endangering yourself and others should never be a question of being "fashionable". One thing is to have a drink or two (or whatever you can handle- in all *honesty*) but getting smashed once a year or once a week or once every 10 yrs is irresponsible and uncaring. All it takes is that one time to really mess up your life or somebody else's.

To me being able to drink and smoke to excess is one of the great delights of adulthood -- especially at a dinner party. And at my house you're allowed to do both as long as you keep up your end of the conversation, provide some good stories, know how to laugh and don't mind if i take your car keys away so you can sleep it off on the couch. Most parties today are dull as hell for the following reasons -- everyone is either self-righteously sober, self-righteous and smug about no smoking rules, obsessed with work and think it's the only thing to talk about, anxious about their children to the point of hysteria (have to get home! have to get home! its 10pm, have to get home!) and have no sense of how to flirt over a candlelit table. It's not age -- it's the historical moment. Uptight and fearful of everything.

I'm in my mid- twenties, and I've quit "over" drinking. Personally, I think it's trashy when girls get obnoxiously drunk in public. Sorry ladies, but you know that girl... it starts with taking your shoes off, then you yell "whoooo", and next thing you know you are tripping all over the place, your make-up is running and you are yelling at your bestfriend for trying to steal your man just because she offered to drive both of your drunk @$$es home. Not a pretty scene.
So then when you stop being that person, you don't want to go to parties with obnoxiously drunk other people (they are obnoxious and you are sober... no fun). You get involved in daytime activities, and all of a sudden you have to get up early on Saturday morning to get your nails with your mom, which means you can't be hung over, so no drinking.
So, I stopped drinking because I don't want to be "that" girl. Plus I work with lots of college kids and I don't want them to spot me out on the town acting like a fool. I still drink at home behind closed doors.
For those of you who do drink, please remember to call a cab or call that boring friend (like myself), either of them will always be glad to pick you up and take you home. Even if you are only going 5 blocks and we have to drive all the way across town to pick you up. It's not worth the risk. :-)

Clearly the author does not live in LA.

I find endangering yourself and others to be quite en vogue lately.

Oy! Drink Up. Take a cab. Leave your your nunchucks at home.

Are toilet paper roll bongs also out of fashion?

ahhhh, sanctimony.

Oh to live in the eras of Dorothy Parker, Truman Capote or Hemingway! Even to be a fly on the wall at a Paris Review fete would most certainly include many a famous drunk author I would bet. I personally always avoid getting sloppy no matter what. But other drunk people make for some amusing parties and amusing people watching, that's for certain (as long as it isn't at my own house and I need not either clean up after them or kick them out - or both).

Anyone remember the drunky party scene in the apartment in Breakfast at Tiffanys? Now that was a PARTY.

Where I live, it's not a party unless we're all getting "visibly" drunk.

things HAVE changed.
BYOB is not an option for a party anymore, it's the norm.

I have skimmed over AT's whole "how to stock drinks for a party" sections more than once b/c that is a fashion that is out of place nowadays.
I know I rather defer drinking than bring my own to spare the chance that I AM THE ONLY ONE DRINKING.
And I'm sure it's blantanly obvious if you walk in with 4 bottles of wine to a BYOB that your night is planned out for you.

Personally, If I want to get smash out drunk, I do it at concerts or outdoor events... not someone's house.

All the dinner parties I go to involve drinking way too many bottles of wine/champagne so the night ends in sleepy laughter and people slouching in their chairs tipsy. I've never seen people being rowdy drunks at dinner parties, which would probably be a rather inconsiderate thing to do.

i don't think it's just about people getting older or more health conscious or more responsible

i think the economy, the collective contentment, outlook for the future has a lot to do with how some are too tense and too worried to let loose

when times are good, we're all rolling in the dough, there's no war or recession to worry about, of course the mindset calls us to celebrate with impunity

I don’t think that it is about age or status or if it’s in style or not. I think people’s choice to drink is based on personal choice, commitments and transportation.

I am in my late twenties, I have a pretty serious career and I still party with the best of them. I have friends younger and older than me, friends still in college or university, friends with children and friends with serious careers that drink more or less than me depending on circumstance.

I think their decision to drink or not to drink depends on if their families have a trend toward addiction to alcohol, what their priorities are the next day and if they have a safe ride home.

I think it’s pretentious to judge others because you do not drink, or because you do drink. It’s all about personal choice.

Over-indulging in anything to excess, to the point where you lose control of yourself, is trashy, dangerous, stupid and rather pityful

By all means have a drink and even get a bit tipsy but to get to the stage where you're so drunk that you can't even stand up and are making a fool of yourself is something to be avoided no matter how old you are or the circumstances

To believe that you can't have fun unless you're drunk is very sad and simply not true - I know some really fun teetotallers and some very boring drunkards

I have some friends who have never grown out of the teenage habit of drinking as much as possible in an evening rather than savouring a few good drinks and they are usually viewed in a very pitying way once they get to the drunken stage - its like they are still rebelling against parental restrictions even though they've been married 10 years! - grow up already!!

Its not big and its not clever and is usually a prop for people who haven't got enough personality to be fun when they are sober

That's why when you plan a party, drunks go with drunks and conservative/sobers go with conservative/sobers. Everyone's boring when you're drunker than they are or not as drunk as they are.

I agree with the earlier theory that older population tends to be wrapped up in their jobs and especially their children. If talking about your children all night is the new drinking, I don't want to go to parties anymore.

In Boston, people drink. Period. If you're a jerk, you drink ridiculous amounts in the bars, get loud and obnoxious, and annoy people. If you're not a jerk, you drink at dinner parties at your friends' homes or your own, everyone has figured out the safe way home first (subway, cab, or designated driver), no one gets the kind of drunk that leads to yelling or vomiting or sleeping with inappropriate people, but everyone gets a little buzzed. The Puritans who purse their lips at this don't sound like any fun to me, and will probably next start warning me about the amount of butter I'm putting in the sauce. Warning: it's gonna be a lot.

ohhhh PUGLUV can I come to one of your parties?!

As someone who was fortunate enough to leave behind my bad drinking habits when I moved out of my college town, Cheever's supposition of environment rings very true with me, but I know that for everyone it is different. Also, as someone working closely with addicts of all kinds, I hope that those whose behavior can change by a shift in social mores or environment do, and that those who can't will seek help elsewhere.

Given the rise in popularity of all-alcohol, ginormous "-ini" drinks recently, I'm surprised there's not MORE sloppy drunkeness around.

Oh, and just because I have a good time when I'm drinking to excess does NOT mean that a) I do so irresponsibly (all you cabbies and late-night El rides represent!); or b) that I'm incapable of having fun and/or I have no personality when I'm not drinking. Eeesh.

There's just nothing attractive whatsoever about the lady in the picture.

Here in Hong Kong, we drink! We also get drunk and party until 6am - and I mean people of an average age of mid 40's who hold Senior VP/Regional Director/CEO level... and we don't care if it's a Monday when we do it. ...then again, we have live in maids to get the kids up and out to school in the morning and drivers to come and pick us up when we want to go home.

Work hard, play hard. It's the life of an expat.

Here here pugluv!!!! I'm attending your parties too.

All my parties end with everybody in a drunken stupor, enjoying themselves and the enjoyable conversations. The person who is a bit too drunk is playfully laughed at and serves as a conversation piece. All in good fun.

There's nothing prudish about not wanting to be around a bunch of drunks or addicts that can't control themselves. You can't possibly realize how boring and dull it is, that's all.

When I was in college, "party" was a verb and getting drunk was usually the point. Living in Spain, people could drink all night and didn't seem to get sloppy visibly drunk very often--just not the point there, I guess. Back home and older, people have "parties" (noun) where alcohol is served, and getting drunk doesn't seem to be the point anymore.

Isn't Cheever a recovering alcoholic herself? Maybe that explains why she no longer goes to drunken parties.

Its not about growing up, its about getting OLD. Too many of you just got old and boring. Also with getting older as mentioned by someone on here come responsibilities like a newborn waking up at the crack of dawn which is understandable why you wouldnt want to get smashed. I have too many 40yr olds (women and men) that tell me they enjoy hearing my stories because they "miss" those days.

But for now, ill stick to my 12hr work days, going out 3 times per week, meeting new ladies that are doing the same thing and getting smashed while still being serious about my work life. Work hard Play Hard!

It's not about getting old. Some of the best drunks I know are over 30. Most parties I go to someone is slurring their words and stumbling all over the place. Guess I don't hang out with fashionable people.

OK. So Cheever is a 65 year old teetotaler, and because she no longer attends raucous soirees she assumes they are no longer happening. This I can understand.
I am largely confused by how she is waxing nostalgic for a time she purports to abhor.

...

Oh, for heavens' sakes, martita. DRIVING drunk, yes, that is dangerous. Drinking if one is an alcoholic, yes, also a terrible idea. For the average person, however, getting stupid drunk once in a while is not "endangering" lives, "irresponsible" or "uncaring" by itself.

I'd drink far more often if I lived somewhere with taxis and civilized bars.

It's nothing at all about being old. It's about not having any interest in carrying on like a complete philistine.

Oh, nazrd, you know what? The lady in the picture probably couldn't give a damn whether some random dude on the internet wants to screw her or not. In fact, MOST women couldn't give a crap whether some random dude on the internet finds us f*ckable. I know this comes as a shock. I suggest a swig of scotch to lessen the trauma.

If some of you were any looser, it'd be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, to paraphrase Stewie Griffin.

For me it's never been about age or maturity or trend or whatever ... although I have been very drunk a few times in my life and although I always have a full bar at my house for guests to partake of, I've always been cheesed out by drunken parties ... mainly because I'm bored by people who lack enough imagination that they need to be drunk to loosen up and have fun.

And K T G, I'm with you ... the worst New Years Eve party I ever went to was the year all my friends first had kids ... that was the ONLY topic of the conversation (and some even brought their babies!) WTF??

It's less to do with drinking, and more to do with being a dick. Being a dick when you are drunk is pretty much the same as being a dick when you are sober. You're just a dick.

I try to avoid parties where people are dicks, be they drunk or sober.

Btoddster - lovely comment, you're a real gentleman, in no way a "philistine." Here's some news for you: getting a little buzzed over a holiday dinner with some friends, or your siblings, or your husband, does not actually make a person a slut. Amazing, but true!

Max has a good rule, drinking reveals the ugly side in some people, Having hosted my share of rollicking parties, I have never been puking drunk and some people are best avoided entirely. In this state, you are legally liable if someone drinks at your home and then kills or injures someone, which puts a big responsibility on bartenders too. That article was silly. People have such limited views, of course drinking continues, just without her. I like the responsible hedonists at my parties, and we know who they are.

The key is to make friends with naturally smart and interesting people...then your parties are interesting drunkenness or no. The people who can't fathom a 'fun' party without getting smashed are the same people who are extremely boring/tiresome/full-of-themselves in their natural state.

Pyewacket.... You have NO idea, so you can stop right there. My response was to some of the earlier asinine remarks, shall I give names?

And your news to me is old news.

I have NO problem with people that drink like civilised people, and I have no patience for assholes. Like Max said, drunk or sober. I've 86'd plenty of both from my business AND my home, and would have no problem doing it again.

I know sober people who act like Philistines, and sober people who are assholes.

At least my drunk friends have an EXCUSE.

mmm hmmm.

Tomorrow night I'll be at a swanky nightspot listening to Mark Farina pumping out Mushroom Jazz... and alcohol WILL be involved. I do not plan to make an ass of myself.

Libations and blowing off steam will always be in fashion. Being a douche is never in season.

I drank plenty in my 20s and 30s, but I've completely lost interest in drinking in the past few years. For me, it seems to be about getting older. I've just lost interest. It wasn't even a conscious decision.

I partied with the best of them in my 20's, but at 33, drinking like a fish isn't even an option...I physically can't DO it anymore.

Fresh out of college and living in the big city ("just like Mary Tyler Moore!" my mother would wistfully muse), I would bar-hop with the girls in the middle of the work week til 4AM, clock an hour or two of sleep, bounce out of bed totally refreshed and be on my way to work by 6AM...sometimes still drunk and wearing makeup from the night before!

Oh, how times have changed...if I have any more than one glass of wine, I can just about forget about being productive the next day. The whomping headache and uneasiness eat up the ENTIRE next day, landing me in bed with the shades drawn and nursing on Alka Seltzer until three o'clock in the afternoon. It's just not worth it!

If the me back then could see me now, she'd be so ashamed... ; p

I am young and don't drink, and I have fun at sober and drunken functions. Frankly, some of the functions could have allowed for some people to drink, and others could have reigned in the alcohol a little bit more.
What drives me nuts is when the only activity is getting drunk - most college parties. If I have good friends and maybe some dancing or other activities I'm good, but otherwise I'm just bored out of my mind.

Kind of off topic, but I would be mad as hell to be the woman pictured in the photo you used. I clicked on the source for the image and found that there is no model release for it, which means the person depicted as a "drunk" did not agree to have her image used in this way (or any other way for that matter). The TOS on the stock site specify:

You may not use the Image

* In a way that can give a bad name to SXC or the person(s) depicted on the Image.

In this case the error really resides with the photographer who is making the image available as stock without a model release and tagging it with labels such as "drunk" "fear" "crying" "lonely" "dumped" "alcohol" "drugs" and "desperate". However ultimately AT needs to be more responsible about the images they choose.

As a photographer myself I think it's very important that we don't just assume things about a person we are photographing and attach our own meanings to it that might do a person's reputation damage. There's no way by looking at that image we can tell if she's drunk or just making a face after taking a sip of beverage. We don't know if she's on drugs or just dumped as the tags claim that she is. I can't say with any certainty that she's anything but a woman holding a glass of liquid and a cigarette.

i can't believe no one's taken issue with Vicadin's post yet:

"bout smoking, im a smoker, and if i go to a house as a guest and the won't let me smoke i'll be very offended cause they now im a smoker."

you've got to be kidding me!!!! though i'm a non-smoker, i'm not sanctimonious about smoking (i couldn't afford to be given that almost my entire family and most of my friends smoke). even so, this comment has got to be one of those most presumptuous, entitled statements i've read for some time. if you're a smoker in a non-smoker's house, STEP OUTSIDE for your smoke if your hosts require it. they are NOT obligated to let you smoke in their home.

also, amen to fetching's earlier comment.

I may be late to this dicussion, but... I come from a big family of brilliant, productive, wonderful brothers and sisters,(teachers, artists, engineers, chefs, judges, bohemians, etc.), most of whom have married other brilliant, productive, wonderful people. When we get together, we eat and drink with the great gusto of our Italian-Irish ancestors. We rarely have parties that do not include our children, but we're careful to see them to bed before any real raucousness takes place.

The only sour note at any of these gatherings is the husband of one of my sisters. He's a dyed-in-the-wool stick in the mud who'd rather stand on the sidelines criticizing us (and his wife) than join in any conversation. Although his presence could drive anyone to drink, we all are careful to designate drivers or make safe sleeping arrangements in advance.

At 33 I drink more now than I did at 21. I'm just a lot better at it. Being responsible and fun when you're tipsy will always be in fashion. Starting fights and insisting you're okay to drive home on the other hand...

You know, it is really the host's responsibility to let you know what kind of party you will be attending and if drunkenness is acceptable. An adult New Year's party with a BYOB is definitely going to have a little slurriness about it and nothing wrong with it (as long as everyone has a ride home)! A family Christmas party, or any party where kids maybe around, should only have a wine/beer type limit, with no excessive behavior.

Its all about time and place, people...

I've named the above photo..."Where's the cocaine??"

I don't spend time with people dumb enough to smoke. And I certainly don't invite them into my home.

As for guests drinking at parties, I learned some 10 years ago, as a co-host, that one must manage or keep a faithful eye on consumption. These people, are your responsibility. I don't know what's worse - having them out on the road/street, or having them in your home at 4am.