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We share our balcony with the neighbors next door - it is dived by a thigh-high railing though.

yep. with pigeons that poo on our deck. they need to die

I live in a 32 unit co-op, and our shared courtyard is our only outdoor space. It is the heart of the building.

I once shared a driveway and yard (and clothesline) with a drunken wife beater (he was in jail when I moved in, so I didn't know he lived there until too late). You can imagine how well that went. Now shared things such as these are deal breakers for me, I'm afraid.

Hi Melissa!

I rent the lower half of a house, and my boyfriend and I share the backyard with our upstairs neighbors. We also share the driveway and garage. So far, it hasn't been an issue because we don't ever seem to need to use the space at the same time. If I plan on having several guests over and want to use the yard, I let them know. Otherwise, no problems yet! I would love to have my own yard someday just so I could grow more plants.

I feel like a stranger in my own house. The first floor tenants had a party one time in the back yard and I was taking my trash out and one of their guests confronted me and demanded to know why i was putting my trash in their bins. They didn't even know I lived in the house.

The main reason we took the apt. is for the huge beautiful yard but I never go out there because the other tenants have been in the building for 13 years and come outside to ask if they can help with anything. Even when I'm clearly just trying to enjoy a wonderful day.

I live in a Brooklyn building where 12 apartments share one 300 sq ft middle-of-the-roof space with a tiny view of the Empire State Building.

For 10 years, it was a neglected, dirty space with only a broken bench. This spring, my partner and I decided to spruce it up, adding a patio set and plants.

The secret's out now and other people are coming up from the building to check out all the activity.

I'm trying to remember what my mom taught me: Share nicely. It can be hard since we work so hard on it (dragging water up 3 flights every night for our thirsty plants), but we're making it all durable and community friendly.

We're making friends with some new people in the building on the roof too.

In my last condo, I shared a courtyard with 2 other units, and I hated it. I never felt comfortable using it when one of the neighbors was, and they were out there a lot, so I didn't use it much. My bedroom window was right next to the courtyard, so when they had people over late at night I couldn't sleep. They would stay in the courtyard until all hours, making tons of noise. The final straw was when one of them put a meat smoker out there, and started smoking meat all day long. Even with my windows closed, the smell would permeate my condo, and I'm a vegetarian, so I found it extra obnoxious. The bottom line is, I'm not assertive enough to share a space, so I will never do it again.

I live in a triplex with a shared yard. I have a little outdoor table, a couple folding chairs and a grill. I fold up the chairs when I am done sitting in them and put the grill away in the garage when I'm done using it. I take care of the yard for a break on my rent though, so I might feel more "at one" with the yard than the other tenants do, it looks like they mostly stay inside. If I am cooking outside, I usually have an extra brat or burger on the fire and offer it up if I see them. They never accept it though.

My 2 young daughters and I shared a courtyard with a couple who liked to take nude sex shots with multiple people out there in the middle of the afternoon.

Educational.

I used to share a yard with other tenants in an old victorian house that was converted into apartments, but now I have a patio all to myself! Yay!

We shared a duplex with these overbearing neighbors who thought they owned the backyard. They peppered it with picnic table, fire pit, lounge chairs, herb garden and never put things away. They also had a pet dog but never cleaned after her poop. And they would always mock the fact that we never came outside but were blissfully unaware that they were the reason why.

In my old place, my first floor apartment opened onto a shared courtyard. My patio door was at 90 degrees to my neighbor's and almost uncomfortably close for both of us. I used the outside space for a few painting projects, keeping everything very close to my door. But I would rarely just sit out there and read or anything. Now we have the littlest patio you can imagine, but it's private and I love using it to grill or just sit with a book.

"The bottom line is, I'm not assertive enough to share a space, so I will never do it again."

This is totally key. I could never share spaces because I'm not an assertive enough person either. I figure if you're more assertive, you probably have a better chance of making things work!

Except for the crazy wife-beaters and naked people, though, that's pretty much impossible to deal with.

I once lived on the second floor of 3-story building. There was a yard that we all had access to, but the first-floor family basically claimed it as their own. They kept some junky-looking yard furniture out there, plus their kids' toys, plus their dog's poop. The man of the household didn't seem to have a job and would spend most of his day out in the yard, hanging out with his friends. Needless to say, I was not comfortable using the backyard.

i completely agree with the need for assertiveness. we share a back deck with neighbors who fortunately do not use their side at all, but it would be a disaster if they did - and is a disaster with neighbors below us. one dork basically decorated the entire deck with plants and furniture without consulting the people who share the space with him. it's the equivalent of peeing on it. it is now "his" and the others are reluctant to complain because he invested money in furnishing the space. very passive aggressive.

We used to rent the back unit of a two family home, and we shared the backyard and deck. As we had the back unit, the deck door flowed into our living room, and the our windows were level with the patio table. This was sometimes a little awkward.

Since we could only fit one patio table on that deck, and one grill in the yard, we did share everything. Whenever we had people over or were grilling, we were both very welcoming to have the other join us.

This space is on the 3rd floor of our building. Our private porch walks out onto this shared space. It has been wonderful for meeting nieghbors and using for large gatherings. Occassionally someone will leave some trash out there, but besides that its just fine. A little weird when people are sunbathing maybe, but no big deal.

http://www.barbarabrin.com/__properties.06/07.bookmen/08.bookmenlofts.204/pages/009_deck_jpg.htm

Wow, reading these comments makes me think I wouldn't be able to share an outdoor space, personally. I am constantly worried about neighbors in the other yards thinking I'm too noisey and it's my poperty! :/

When I moved into my current apartment (in a charming duplex) I was thrilled- the back yard hadn't been touched, and the landlord told me that I could do whatever I wanted with it.

My downstairs neighbors had other ideas. Though they had already completely taken over the front yard, they decided to spread their totally tacky taste to the backyard as well. Now the patio is home to their dirty dining set and they've planted in every available patch of dirt.

These people are so obnoxious that I literally tense up every time I enter a "shared space," so I'm probably not going to be hanging out on the porch with them anytime soon. So much for enjoying the nice weather...

Wow, sounds like a lot of people here don't have good luck with shared spaces.

Where I'm at, I often wonder why the apartment complex stopped a thigh-high railing - they should have just made it more of a wall and then I'd feel comfortable out there. Our neighbors use their balcony for storage and are often out there smoking (chain smoking college students at that) and partying - so I rarely use ours.

Wow, we have no problems at all, other than the occasional misunderstanding when somebody prunes or weeds around somebody else's "favorite" plant. But I think 32 units sharing makes it pretty clear that it is common, not private space. Our only official rules are that if you want to add or subtract anything (like plants) to the space, you must consult the Superintendent or the head of the Garden committee, and we have quiet hours from 10 pm to 8 am. Unofficial rules are that you never EVER leave any personal belongings, trash, cigarette butts, or other debris behind, and any gathering or activity in the courtyard is open to everyone.

Why aren't there rules from the landlord for these shared areas?

Why don't you ask for them?

If one tennant takes over a common yard/space, ask for a break in the rent. You probably won't get it, but it would certainly open up a discussion about what you thought you were paying for when you moved in.

ohjodi - I would think a lot of the time the landlord wouldn't get involved unless the tenants were actually damaging his property. More than likely the other tenant in most situations has been there awhile and always pays the rent - therefore the landlord probably isn't caring.

Luckily I don't like being outside a lot or we'd get more annoyed. It's just making me want to either get a townhome or save up faster for a house.

@Johnp:i completely agree with the need for assertiveness. we share a back deck with neighbors who fortunately do not use their side at all, but it would be a disaster if they did - and is a disaster with neighbors below us. one dork basically decorated the entire deck with plants and furniture without consulting the people who share the space with him. it's the equivalent of peeing on it. it is now "his" and the others are reluctant to complain because he invested money in furnishing the space. very passive aggressive.

watch which kettle you're calling black.

yard-sharing is a fine balance, indeed. i live in a six-unit walk up with a huge backyard. the building is adjacent to three others with the same set up, creating a rare plethora of green space, decks, and passive-aggressive neighbor behavior.

besides the resident green-thumb, i'm the only one who ever utilizes our building's yard for BBQs and such...and the older gentleman two yards away--who is very proprietary over his own meticulously-kept plot of land--always pulls out a chair and "chaperones" from his yard. i really wish he'd stop creeping on my parties and just come over for a burger.

spavis makes a good point- Johnp, why don't your neighbours ever use their half of the deck? Everyone loves outdoor space...

I only have a bit of shared outdoor space; namely the pool and poolside area at my apartment complex. It's not the sharing that I mind, its the rude and disrespectful people who smoke around it and aggravate my allergies, and the stupid kids and their stupider parents who let their kids eat food and drop half of it in the pool and make a mess.