apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

ROFL! It sounds like a great and practical thing, but my dogs would spend the next week licking all my newly-buffed wood!

WHOA...that is definitely odd. Unfortunately I don't have any quirky cleaning methods to add. Funny and great post!

From http://www.cusd.claremont.edu/~mrosenbl/spamfacts.html

Ingredients:
* Chopped pork shoulder meat with ham meat added.
* Salt (for binding, flavour, and firmness)
* Water (to help in mixing)
* Sugar (for flavour)
* Sodium Nitrite (for colour and as a preservative)

lol, the neighborhood dogs would be all over you if you then wore those pantyhose!

doesn't it smell funny? my mom and her family are from Hawaii....I grew up eating tons of spam!

my mom-in-law doesnt wash her cookies sheets. she says it makes her cookies slide off easier. i dont doubt that, but i also dont doubt that its gross!

Yeah, I don't think I could ever bring myself to do that! It's essentially oil, right? I've heard the same thing about rubbing walnuts or almonds on furniture--the spam's prob. cheaper, though.

one of my favorite tricks for cleaning thermoses and coffee pots that you can't reach into was from someone at work once--put some ice, some salt, and water and swoosh around. It works...and I'm sure some lemon juice would help it more.

Like Christine said, it's the oil in the Spam doing the job. The problem is oils from food products go rancid and can cause your furniture/house to smell. I would stick to something like mineral oil, other oils meant for use on wood products.

eleany- We double checked on that, and as long as it is buffed well after it has been applied, you shouldn't be dealing with any rancid issues. Elbow grease is the key to everything!

That sounds like a horror. Every last bit of it.

I can't wait to suggest rubbing nuts on the furniture, Christine (the one in DC).

But it won't be to my mother.

If you've prepare fish for a meal (particularly if you've gutted it yourself) and your hands reeked of dead fish, you know how hard it is to get rid of that smell. Your hands end up stinking for days.

Easy peasy if you follow this advice: "Wash" your hands with used coffee grounds, still damp...and cool, just so you don't burn yourself.

Brew yourself some coffee. Enjoy. Later, dump a bunch of the used grounds on your hands, rub rub rub and rub some more. Do it twice if you'd like. Wash off with water and soap.

Ta da! If the fish smell isn't completely gone, it'll be quite faint...only someone pressing your hands to their nose might smell it.

Also, I hear a used tea bag can get permanent ink off of your hands (for those times you put the sharpie away and miss the cap, leaving a mark on your hand).

If that doesn't work, spread a layer of Elmer's glue (or another water-based glue) on it, let it dry, and peel it away.

I'm chock full of these crazy tips thanks to my mother!

Yuk!!! Why would I want my furniture to smell like canned meat bi-products!

As for cleaning tips:

Using newspaper to clean glass and mirrors. It doesn't leave any streaks or little fibers like paper towels.

Using WD-40 to remove sticky gunk. Just spray on and let sit for 30 or so to break up the residue and then wipe it off.

Clean your microwave with lemon juice and water. just place a small bowl half full of water and a teaspoon of lemon juice in the microwave and turn it on for 2 minutes. The steam of the liquid loosens hardened food and deodorizes. Then wipe clean

Clean your cutting board with a mixture of coarse salt (I use Kosher) and lemon juice. make a paste with the two and rub it on the the board and let sit for a few minutes. This draws odors from the board and disinfects it. Then with the mixture off. You can actually smell all of those odors in the mixture.

Another funny one I just had to share.

If you wear glasses and eat something hot (like ramen or soup), they fog up. Annoying. So, next time you cook some eggs, save the shells.

Why? You can "paint" (use a clean/new paint brush) what little whites are left in there onto the outside of your glasses! It's totally safe for the lens and can be washed off if you'd like. But spreading a thin layer of egg whites on glasses keeps them from fogging up. You'll have to wash and reapply eventually, but it lasts for a little while (few days).

I hear this works on bathroom mirrors, too, but I haven't tried that.

I would be afraid of the salmonella factor of having raw egg on your glasses. If you touch your glasses and then put your hand in your mouth, couldn't you get sick?

If you happen to get ink on your clothes, you can get it out easily with hairspray. About 30 minutes before you plan to wash your clothes, saturate the ink stain with hairspray. Let sit, then wash as normal using cool water.

This has worked for me every time, even on a shirt that was forgotten about for nearly 3 weeks. I keep a bottle of spritz hairspray in the laundry room just for this purpose!

But, won't your furniture smell like "I Can't Believe It's Not Ham"?

i clean my floors with vinegar (and despite what some say, my place does not smell like salad after:). also, i use baby oil to clean my stainless steel dining table as well as my stainless steel appliances. works great and saves me on cleaning supplies. i used to spend a fortune on stainless steel polishes.

I couldn't do that without gagging. I'd rather stick to lemon oil, thanks!

I know it's important to be health-conscious, but a little dirt and bacteria never hurt anybody. Don't get me wrong, I'm a rather tidy person who dusts and scrubs every week, but I also eat raw cookie dough on occasion.

In the Lysol generation where everyone has resorted to disinfecting everything, our immune systems don't learn how to fight off everyday bacteria. Hence we get sick more, need more medicine, freak out more about germs, etc. My two-year-old nephew will chew on the kitchen broom bristles if he can get his hands on it for a second and he hasn't keeled over. I don't support broom-licking, but I digress...

I know people "back in the day" had remedies for things that we sometimes find preposterous now, and those people didn't have the same life expectancy, but I almost wonder if it's natural for people to live to be 109 anyway. Personally, I'd rather live my life, live it well, and die before I become a helpless vegetable. So--- tangent aside-- I say bring on the Spam and pantyhose ideas, the egg white and glasses ideas, et cetera!

The only trick I can remember is how to remove the garlic smell from your fingers after you've been dicing it - rub them on a stainless steel surface, like the kitchen sink. Completely neutralizes the smell.

here's another one that prevents bathroom mirrors from fogging up: rub some shaving cream on it, then take it off with a paper towel and polish until the mirror is clean. no fogging for at least two weeks!

Does it not seem like an excuse to eat spam? Oils aren't hard to find, even things to eat which are oily, and this post in fact references some old Mayo trick without explaining it.

I don't have any tricks to pass along. My mom loves her Dow scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner and her Pledge wood polish. Hot water, bleach, Windex, Lysol, as many paper towels as it takes. My dad has moved off Spam onto Kraft Easy-Mac of late.

ditto barf.

About the only thing I do that night be different is I use coffee grids to get the garlic and onion smells off my wood cutting boards. I use Dr. Bonner soap in pepperment as a bathroom and kitchen aromatherpy after I clean. I fill up the sink and bath tub with water and pour the soap in, let it sit for an hour and my place smells divine.

I was thinking, it could also be useful (and amusing) to make a post with comments about things like this that backfired, ie left the furniture smelling like old meat, the sink brown, drove the dog crazy etc..

Just in case there are any tricks to avoid, learnt the hard way ....

Dr. Bronner's liquid soap Baking Soda = best cleaner ever.

I keep some in a jar in a paste consistency for scouring.
I've also recently taken some of it and diluted it with water in a spray bottle for a general surface cleaner.

lastly, not a household cleaning method, but I also cut it with simple unscented lotion to use it as a body wash, it takes some shaking to keep it separated but it's too drying for me otherwise.

whoops! forgot the plus sign. that is supposed to read Dr. Bronners liquid soap PLUS Baking Soda.

I clean my stove top and toilets with biological washing powder.

Rub SPAM on my furniture.

Do you guys think about this stuff at all before you post it?

It's the image that comes to mind that does me in--spam squeezed into a pantyhose foot. Sound like they could use the idea on Bones for one of their revolting decomposed body shots.

I use vinegar instead of fabric softener. You simply add it to your rinse cycle (I use a snuggle ball). It works by removing any detergent residue left on clothes. Leaving your clothes nice and soft even if you air dry. It works great and saves me a lot of $$$. Oh and no your clothes dont smell like vinegar once they're dry.

My question is - who originally thought, "I've got some leftover spam...and dang, I just ran my pantyhose. Hmmmm...."

I mean, this had to be drug induced - or a marketing ploy by the Spam and L'eggs companies.

That tip sounds like it came out of one of those midcentury modern cookbooks... the ones for things like hot dog loaf and macaroni pie! Maybe the Armour Book of Home Remedies!

This is body cleaning, not house cleaning, but I wash my hair with plain castile soap and rinse it with 1 part apple cider vinegar diluted with 4 parts water, followed by more water. Almost everyone said it wouldn't work, and other people have tried it and hated it, but I swear it is the best thing that ever happened to my hair.

It seems to me that salmonella paranoia is a purely Western thing, if not an American thing. Sure, other countries are aware of salmonella, just not paranoid about it.

Take for example, the Japanese (I grew up in Japan, so in many ways I relate to their culture better than "my own," ie American). They use raw egg all of the time. Plop one on cooked rice, or ramen, or soft boil an egg (like a regular boiled egg, but only the whites are hard...the yoke is still runny if you break it open). I even know a few who will drink a raw egg (as is) for part of their breakfast, though I don't. Has half their population died from it, like Americans seem to think will happen if such things are done? Nope.

Anyway, back to bizarre household tricks.

Live in an icy area? Dress as you would normally. Then, before going out, Slip on some men's socks (because they're usually bigger) over your shoes. Knee socks work the best. It'll help keep you from slipping when walking down an icy path. Choose black or something neutral rather than colored or striped if you're worried about how it looks.

Did your favorite sweater shrink? Return it to it's original size by using hair conditioner! Get a plastic sink tub (or very large bowl). Fill with cool water. Mix in about 15 grams of conditioner and soak the sweater for about 30 minutes. Put the sweater in the washer on the spin cycle, solely to help drain the water (no need to wash). Lay flat to dry. That's it! It'll be it's original size again.

If you like hot baths but are cold once you get out, you'll like this. Just before you get out of the bath, have someone bring you an ice cube. Suck on it until it's gone (2-3 minutes) and then get out. You'll be surprised how long you'll stay warm. (Unfortunately, this won't work for people who live alone since no one can bring you an ice cube!) :(

Got some tarnished silver? Here's how to clean it up really easily, even if it's so bad you can't rub it off. Get a pot large enough to hold your tarnished item and boil water (don't put the item in yet). After it's boiled, put in sugar and stir a bit, until mixed (one part sugar to five parts water). Remove from heat so it doesn't stay a roaring boil. Then, take a piece of aluminum foil and rip a sheet about the size of your pot opening, and (using long cooking chopsticks or tongs so you don't burn yourself), push the foil down to the bottom. (Note: I haven't tried with with non-stick foil, so I don't know if that will make a difference. I use regular that isn't non-stick.) That's it!

Now you just put the item in so that it touches the foil (touching the foil is important). In seconds--yes, seconds!--the tarnish will be gone. Pull it out of the water, rinse it off in cool water, then wipe clean. Large items will need to be put in one part at a time, as it only cleans what's in the water. This will work even for thin necklace chains, though it takes more than a couple of seconds (the more detailed/complicated design or texture, the longer it will take). But it will work!

WARNING: Do not do this to items that have other precious metals or stones in it (like gems). It could damage them.

Wow, long. Sorry.

To keep the fogging up @ bay, rub the cut side of a bit of raw potato on bathroom mirror(s) and eye glasses, allow to dry, then buff.

Before using any other product for removing stains try hydrogen peroxide, especially for those that are protein based. This 'cleaner' is especially great for removing pet urine stain and ordor.

wow. lots of you guys who read this blog & post here are really, *really* young, aren't you?

loislane,

How young is really, *really* young, to you?

Yet another post against germaphobes fretting over salmonella because i find it ridiculous. People lived for thousands of years without antibacterial soap and refrigeration. You'll all be fine. You're more likely to get salmonella from a vegetable than a chicken product. As for the really young thing I'm 23 supposedly part of this Lysol generation.

The only thing I use Lysol for is getting rid of the mold in paint that's been unused for a while. One capful per gallon. Easier than trying to match the paint you used in your living room 3 years ago.

I love the germophobe backlash here! Ha ha ha ha ha! Isn't the modern germ phobia something like a societal OCD?

Puh-leeez! We're animals who are part of the world. Go out and roll in the grass, and get over it.

Years ago I read a book about our bodies being virtual farms for all sorts of microscopic critters--including the little yellow worms who crawl out of our eyelash follicles at night and clean our eyelashes of their daily accumulated schmung. Not every invisible organism's out to do us in!

Mrs.Mack, you rock! Do you have more helpful hints? Keep them coming!

Seriously? Because once I get going it'll never stop. ;)

This one is a bit old school, so it might not be as convenient anymore...especially since they have Tide pens now. But get a film canister (yes, the ones that rolls of film came in) and put a pinch of powdered laundry detergent in there. Close cap, throw in purse.

Next time you're out and about and have a little spill (say, marinara sauce drop on your shirt), fill the canister most of the way full water. Put the cap underneath your shirt, just behind the spot. Keeping the canister on the outside of your shirt, close it with the cap. In other words, sandwich the bit of shirt with the sauce drop between the cap and canister. Shake the canister vigorously for about thirty seconds. Take it off, pat dry the shirt with a paper towel, and voila! Though the shirt will be a bit wet in that spot, the spot will be gone. If there is a ring from being pinched closed, gently pull the fabric taught in a few directions. It'll dry without a noticeable ring.

Launder as normal later. There will be no stain to treat. As always, professional treatment should be considered first for delicate fabrics.

Oh! I just remembered one that is popular with older girls/young women.

Get a piece of wax paper...like the kind you'd use on a cookie sheet. Lay the sheet on top of your hand, slick side up. Using a toothpick or another utensil that comes to a firm point, make an outline of your nail by pressing into the paper where your “creases” are…where the nail goes into the skin, etc. Do all fingers, both hands, so you have ten nail indentations on the sheet (get a friend to help you if you need to).

Take your favorite nail polish and paint onto the wax paper (slick side up!), being careful to go up to, but not over, the lines. Let dry. Done!

Next time you want to give yourself a new nail color but only have a bit of time to spare, paint a clear base coat. While the base coat is still wet, peel off the color from the wax paper and place on the correct fingernail. Then paint a clear topcoat. This process works best one finger at a time, but it goes surprisingly fast. And it looks like you did it layer by layer with fresh polish, but in half (or less) of the time!

This trick is particularly good for if you like doing complicated designs on your nails. Especially when painting your dominant hand, so that side’s design doesn’t look so shakey.

If that’s not good enough for you (you don’t bother with all of the coats, but you still want cute designs), get a box of *plain* facial tissues. It’s important that there is no lotion or whatever. The cheaper the better.

Peel the tissue’s layers apart so you have only one, thin layer. Rubber band over the top of a (paper)cup so the tissue is taught. Paint your designs onto the tissue (like a flower, or little dots and gently press rhinestones into the wet polish, etc). Allow to dry.

Then, cut out the designs from the tissue with scissors so that there is a little ring of tissue around the design. This is important: The trick only works if you leave some tissue on there. Though only a little, like an eighth of an inch or so on each side (depends on how large the design is, since the whole thing--tissue included--has to fit on your nail).

Paint your nails as normal. When dry, place the tissued design on top, paint a clear topcoat, and you’ll have pretty, designed nails. No one will know the difference! The tissue will dissolve enough that you can’t really see it.

Heh, you can tell I typed that last on in Word first... Sorry about the funny characters. ^^;

I think maybe you should consider doing a funky little book,
Mrs.Mack! Really.

You know, I was already half considering it. Perhaps I should move forward with the idea.

Oh, and two things:

For the tarnish trick, I've only ever used a non-stick pot. I don't know if the non-stick surface will affect the results.

Also, Sarahrae, are you ever going to "report back" as you promised? I'd love to read your reactions to the tips others and I gave you.

One more tip, from a textile conservator friend -- for getting bad grease stains out of clothes, use WD-40. The oils in it bind to the oils in the stain and loosen them so they come out. Spray on, then scrub (I think - it's been a while since I've done this one) and launder in the hottest water allowable for the fabric (helps liquefy the grease). I had a red chili oil stain in the middle of my favorite fancy white shirt and this got the whole thing out amazingly.

Also, check out the National Park Service "Conserve o' Gram" webpage for curator-approved ideas on cleaning and preserving objects. They have some good tips about dusting and cleaning furniture.