I, too, have a black thumb. I assume it is due to growing up in a desert. Watering a plant is just never on my radar. Cactus garden is the answer!

Aspidistra elatior

I too was irritated at how much care "air plants" actually need. I have a small one that I have to soak thoroughly THREE TIMES A WEEK. So far I'm keeping up with it okay, even though it doesn't fit into my "only buy plants who need water once a week" policy, but we'll see how long that lasts. Yeah. Air plants are a lie.

I've only ever been able to keep a Japanese Peace Lily alive. I've had it a year and it's looking great. Its leaves droop when it needs water, so it's a built-in reminder, but once I water it, it perks up within an hour or so. Pretty crazy.

Yes, I've also killed a Tillandsia. They do require a light spritzing every couple of days. I was going out of town so I soaked them a little too much and they rotted. I used to kill everything, including cactus, until I moved to a place where I could actually have a vegetable garden. Once I started that, I figured a few things out. Mainly, you have to remember to water a plant -- it turns out that forgetting to water, then drowning them to compensate, is a recipe for plant murder.

I now write "water plants" in my calendar every week for pots, once a month for the succulents. I've filled in my calendar for the whole year with weekly chores like this and reminders to pay bills, go to the gym, etc. I'm hopeless without a written guide to keep me on course.

Great, hilarious post! I too have a black thumb despite having every good intention to be a good indoor gardener. I grew up in the jungles of Hawaii where things just grow without much or any effort from humans, so being in control of light and water and soil is a relatively new concept. I've given up many times but the lure of having green things growing nearby has always brought me back.

Yuuuuuuuup. My husband and I are both like this. We had some aloe plants that lasted a really long time, until he decided that they would like some fresh air and put them out on the porch, then left them overnight, there was a frost, and they just wilted into goo. It was very sad.

I once had a trailing ivy that looked very unhealthy every day I was healthy, but whenever I was unwell it looked really healthy. I reckoned one of us had to go, and since it wasn't paying any rent I dispatched it to feed off somebody else.

Every other plant I have just managed to kill (regardless of my personal health). I did once give my mother a plant that was on death's door, and I swear that it perked up as soon as she put it in the car, just knowing it was getting away from me.

Now all my indoor plants are plastic. Meanwhile, outside, my dandelion farm is thriving.

Air Plants are a total lie! They are so finicky and impossible. I bought two on Etsy a couple years ago that were so pretty. Mine was dead in a month and the even the husband, who is usually successful with them, his was dead inside two months.

Spider Plants I've killed and some other kind of hanging thing my mother used to grow really well. I think I tend to overwater.

I have a tabletop full of cactus and a succulent. I have to use the calendar method but have managed to keep them all alive for over ten years. I water cactus every two weeks and the succulent once a week.

I've also been surprisingly successful with an ivy this time. I've killed a few. A gorgeous veriegated one was the saddest. This one has gotten so out of hand and I can't hang it. I feel guilty cutting it but it's on a plant stand and is now hanging to the floor. What to do, what to do?!

maybe it really is just a knack that some people have. though some people just truly don't care for their plants, others try and still fail. My problem is plants grow too much under my care, eventually I can't find a pot big enough or they are bending under the ceiling and I have to get rid of them :( This has happened many times. I start out with a small desktop plant and eventually they are massive and even if they're not touching the ceiling they take up way too much floor space (last one was a peace lily that went from desktop to 3-4 ft across in a giant pot on the floor.)

uh oh...I thought bamboo was un-kill-able....that was on my list of plants to try. Darn.

I too was on board with air plants until I did a little research and realized how much work! I can barely keep my spider plants alive and apparently that is fool-proof. I probably water them every 2 weeks.

It's odd... the more posts I read by Jennifer Hunter, the more I'm convinced we're actually the same person. I grew up in rural Montana; I now live in Los Angeles AND I'm a serial plant killer.

I find that the key for indoor plants is leaving them someplace that I can see them. I mean like really obvious - coffee table, front bay window, nightstand. Starting to wilt, they get a dash of water. My orchids are in tall glass containers with stones and charcoal in the bottom. I throw a cup of water in there and it goes to the bottom and keeps the plant humid, but the roots aren't sitting in water. And you can actually see when the bottom is dry and toss in another splash of water. Its unconventional and I'm sure someone may find fault with it, but so far, they are doing awesome. The rocks, bark and roots actually looks kind of cool in the glass vase too.

Yep, I'm a plant killer too. Tropical bonzai lasted two months, air plants usually last about 3 months, entire herb garden died after sprouting, succulents usually last 6-8 months. I do have a small cactus and he seems to be hanging on.

You should try a pot with a water reservoir; I think they call them self-watering pots or something. I got mine at Home Depot; mine are for African Violets. I water them like once every three weeks, and give them a few drops of AV food in the water and that's really it (set it near a window, though). And there's no worrying if the plant is too dry or too wet; you just fill the reservoir up and you're done with the plant for a few weeks.

I'm a murderer too. I've killed an orchid and 2 cacti. My rubber tree plant seems to be next... "hard to kill" my a**.

I have had this issue in the past as well. All I have to say is Succulents!! Succulents, people! You cannot kill a succulent, it is virtually impossible.

You are not alone. If I don't kill the plant, my cats will.

I'm generally a plant killer, and so now avoid bringing them into our home -- it just creates too much guilt. Sometimes, my husband insists on bringing home potted basil from the grocery store, but it's always a disaster.

Still, I have had my moments, where I've actually saved plants that had been mistreated by previous owners. I've repotted and nurtured, and have pulled a few back from the brink. The trick seems to be that it must not be a plant that *I* have brought to the brink -- I personally think the plant gives up on me and wills itself to die, whereas if the plant comes from elsewhere, it accepts my well-meaning ministrations in the spirit in which they were intended.

House plants are a misnomer. Plants need air, sunlight, the right amount of moisture, and sometimes fertilizer, all outdoor things. Most apartments don't have enough light and humidity to make most plants happy. So you are bucking serious odds to try.

This is why I prefer silk, and why cool people like Maxwell like cut flowers! (Those you EXPECT to die!)

IF you have a location where you pet plant can get enough light, you can GIVE it humidity with the right kind of pot and misting. But most homes are just too dark, even if it seems ok to your human eyes -- green leafy things are pickier.

The boring common house plants are often thought of that way because they withstand these problems better than others. (Some are understory tropicals "by birth" that only get a little light between the leaves of the canopy plants...) Try those. Water about once a week, not drenching, just enough to dampen the soil. Add water if wilting appears, but check first -- something similar to wilting can be caused by too much water.

Me. I think I'll stick to silk! ;^)

@ 1001petals : Take the time to learn how to properly prune your specific plants and you won't have to get rid of them. A plant at ceiling height is a sign of neglect. Peace lillies are easily divided & make great gifts if you have plant-loving friends.

To those who crave plant life & who claim to have a black thumb: peace lillies will grow in water alone [virtually] maintenance free. I have one that's 12+ yrs old whose roots have never touched soil...and it blooms.

Yup, I'll confess as well. I have murdered about 7 or 8 in the past year, but many of my victims were bought at Ikea and I like to think its the quality of the plant and maybe not me....

I've killed a few plants before - even succulents. If you don't have to water something regularly, it's quite easy to forget about it.
Right now I have two plants - they seem to be sturdier, they are alive since we moved to this apartment (almost 3 years!)
One of them is a Zamiocoulcas, easy to care for, likes light, but not much water - I water it about once in a month, or even less.
I don't know the other one's name, but it "tells" me when it needs water. The leaves wilt, but it's healthy again a few hours after watering.

I tell them that as far as I am concerned, they are the equivalent of longer lasting cut flowers. They try a little harder.

Think of houseplants as temporary arrangements. Do you cry over roses that fade? Over the dahlias that drop their petals all over your coffee table?

I love houseplants and some thrive - while some don't. When they wilt and look horrid, I toss them with nary a thought beyond, "Well, that lasted 3 weeks longer than the floral arrangement from the corner shop! Cool." www.peacefulones.blogspot.com

I've always had what my husband calls three green thumbs. I take in sad little plants whose owners swear are dying, and then I bring them back to life. My ex bought me an arrowleaf plant many years ago, and I eventually had to leave it with the house when we moved because it grew so large.

Watering is one of the biggest problems. All plants don't need the same amount of water, and waiting too long to water turns the soil practically into concrete. Trying to water a plant with soil that's hard doesn't do anything for the plant because the water just runs across the top of the soil, down the sides and out the bottom of the pot. If the soil in your houseplant containers is hard, poke several holes in it with a skewer or a pencil. This will let water reach the roots.

If you can't grow anything, try an arrowleaf plant. They take a lot of abuse and respond well to life-support measures such as drastic root "haircuts" if the pot is rootbound and setting them in the shower for a real dousing when the soil is too dry.

The ONLY plants that have lasted with me are bamboo and that "braided trunk" thing (both from Ikea.) I had to replace the bamboo when it got a fungus after about 4 years and the current one is about 3 years old. The "braided trunk" thing is going on about 7 years, now. Both plants sit on the kitchen counter, and I swear I think that's part of why they haven't died. I had another one of those braided things that I kept in a room that no one, other than the dog, spent any real time in ... super quiet in there. It had the same light and water but no people interacting. It never grew! I switched the plants to see what would happen and sure enough the "good" plant started struggling and the "bad" plant started doing better in the kitchen. When I switched them back, it gave up and died! Now, I only put cut flowers in that room when we have company over.

SKYLARK MELODY: I saw your Yahoo post and the replies were great ... I also recommend watering your plants with left over tea (once it's room temp, of course!) My son did a science experiment in school with plain water vs tea to water plants and it made a HUGE difference. The tea acted like a fertilizer! So, if you or your room mate are tea drinkers and don't want to finish the cup ... give it to the plants! :)

Grandpa has a great garden. I guess I didn't inherit his skill, because my cousin has a lovely little herb pot. I've killed so many plants that my husband jokes about it. I even killed a plant I forgot to water in an online game. How sad is that?

There should totally be an app for that. Type of plant. Region. Perhaps a query about your heating/air conditioning system. Every day: "Pickles, time to go water that peace lily, and give it a little plant food too." Somebody's gotta do this!

I'm a plant killer as well. I haven't had any for years except a holiday poinsettia which I have no problem tossing after the holidays. I used to have a great kitchen window for African violets and those were the only things that kept going. Now I buy cut flowers because I feel less guilty when I toss them. My Mom is the queen of green thumbs. She can grow anything. I seem to do better outside though!

OK, just sprung $3.99 for an existent app. "House Plants" b-2-studio. Will supposedly remind me when to water, etc. Guess I'll let you know.

I have always had a black thumb too. I always wanted to have a few orchids, but never bought one because everyone said they are the most difficult.
Ironically, someone gave me one a few years ago, and it is still here.
I wish I could get the basil going. It keeps going limp and black on me. I am thinking ditch the plastic containers, I don't think plants like them.

I've learned after many casualties that plants just need a schedule. Every monday evening my phone buzzes to remind me to water those green babies.

I give my succulents about 1/4 cup of water and the average sized houseplants 1 cup.
It took a few Mondays to get the measurements right after noting dry soil or soil that was too moist (like with succulents - don't water a succulent if the soil is still wet) or if it had been dry for days already. I found that consistency is the key!

Watching them perk up... priceless! :)

If you know what a mother-in-laws' tongue is, you know one has to go to great lengths to kill one. I've killed two. I always say, whatever you are, be a good one. I AM a plant killer, and I'm the best. I do have two plants that never made it into the ground last summer, and, miracle of miracles, I've kept them alive on my kitchen counter. They've been close to death several times, but I guess it's just not their time. My daughter, on the other hand, can make a rock grow.

http://www.leevalley.com/en/garden/page.aspx?p=45295&cat=2,66758&ap=2

These automatic plant waterers are a life (or plant) saver! I am supposed to be a professional, and yet I often forget to water my indoor plants. I have a couple of myrtle topiaries which are notorious for dying from lack of water (even just once!) and these things have saved my *ss. Highly recommended.

My Jade plants have lasted 12 years. They have gone as long as three months without water. The ones I have killed rotted from too much watering. Try blue chalk stick, another succulent that thrives on neglect and is a cool blue color.

Hilarious post. I've killed several cacti, among other plants, and none of the Poinsettias I got at the company Christmas parties ever lived to see Christmas morning.

Vermicompost is an awesome organic fertilizer. I think some people call it Black Gold or something. There's a study that shows that plants grow 20% better when vermicompost is added. The City Bin is a new indoor vermicomposter that's actually cute! I got one and can't wait to get it! Hopefully, my plants will actually grow now!

http://igg.me/p/84405/x/273821

This gadget was just unveiled at CES. Monitors light, water, fertilizer, and temp specific to your plant and sends a notification to your phone when one needs tended to.

Really though, plants will tell you what they need. You just have to do some research on how to interpret what they're telling you.