It starts with the best of intentions: I go to a craft fair, Christmas market, or boutique to pick the perfect presents for my kith and kin, but instead, I walk out with several items for myself, and with a reduced budget, my shopping list no shorter than before. How to buck this trend?
• Limit the amount of impulse shopping you have to face. I know that one of the biggest impulse spots for me is flash sale sites, so I've stopped reading their emails until the holidays are over. Yes, I love some of those sites, and I'm sure there are some great bargains, but the barrage of coupons and discount codes makes me much more liable to buy something on impulse, and chances are, I wouldn't be purchasing Christmas gifts there anyhow. If you have any similar weak spots, consider cutting them out or limiting your exposure.
• Shop in a very pointed fashion. Think of the general type of gift that you'd like to get someone and then go seek it out. This will help you avoid aimless browsing, which can lead to aimless purchasing. To an extent, this takes the fun out of browsing, but it could be just as fun to sit and ponder the ideal gift before really shopping for it. It also prevents what I like to call "the library phenomenon": if you allow yourself to look too much at the shelves around the desired book, chances are, you're going to take more books home.
• Shop online.This is an extension of the above point. For me, if I don't have shelves to look at, then I don't get as distracted by neighboring items. Sure, there's the endless rabbithole of related products, but I find it much easier to be directed in my online shopping. Or maybe you're the other way around, and when you go to a store, you just want to get in and out. Pick the shopping method where you, personally, will linger the least.
• Make a budget for yourself. Rather than trying to cut yourself out of the equation entirely, decide on an acceptable amount that you can spend on yourself before you start shopping. That way, you're less likely to impulse buy, there's not a sense of guilt when you do, and you've already set some reasonable limits on yourself, so it can't get out of control.
• Change your gifting patterns.This involves more people than just yourself, but if your family or friends are facing similar concerns, then you may want to talk to them about doing a Secret Santa exchange, a charity donation, or some other gift exchange that cuts down on the amount of shopping you have to do.
• Reconceptualize and rethink before you buy.Tess recently wrote about a shopping experience she had where her ideal of the item got in the way of its reality. Stopping to think about why we want it, what we'll do with it, and whether it's perfect or just the effect of rose-colored Christmas glasses can help us get some distance between the pull of desire and the reality of the thing at hand.
• Take time away. With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it's easy to develop an equally bustling shopping mantra that makes you feel like it's now or never to make that purchase. But don't let the "carpe diem" feeling get the best of you. As with any shopping, it can help to take time away from the item and see if your mind keeps going back to it. If it does, then perhaps it's something that you would really enjoy and cherish, but if not, then the chances are good that it was just an in-the-moment purchase.
Not all of these are fun, and certainly you don't want to rob the shopping experience of all its joy, but keeping some of these considerations in mind or tailoring a set of expectations that fits your shopping style might help you save a bit of money this season. Do you have any other good tips?
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Those are all great ideas. Perhaps an additional one - have each member in the family make a list... a long list. One with so many wants/needs that it's ridiculous to fulfill them all. Then, go shopping and pick and choose items from each list. This way, you know what you're shopping for and since you can't get every item on the list it still is a surprise to the gift recepient. You also avoid gifting "the errand" (recepient doesn't like it so you basically gave them an errand to do.. [returning their own gift]).
Online shopping is the worst for me. I end up adding extra stuff (for me) in the cart to meet a free shipping minimum or to receive additional discounts....
Mm, how about just buy people gifts when you want to, and when you see something that makes you think of them, and show them you care about them all the time, not just once a year when you have to buy everyone and their brother gifts. Seems like it's easier on the budget, less stressful, and more surprising for them when they aren't expecting it and loving all around. Just my thoughts, anyway.
I've found that Christmas shopping at craft fairs is a joke--I end up only buying things for myself and Christmas ornaments for my niece and nephew, which are always nice but maybe not exactly enough. Therefore, I have begun skipping the craft fairs to save my wallet.
Whether you buy gifts throughout the year or whenever you happen to see things you like to buy for other people is besides the point. This advice is about curbing impulse buying for yourself and that can be an issue throughout the year, not just Christmas. If you adhere to "one for you, one for me" chances are you have trouble with impulse buying and accumulating things for yourself throughout the year and Christmas exacerbates the problem. This is good advice and it's especially important that people identify their weaknesses before shopping at any time not just Christmas.
Promise yourself you'll go shopping for yourself after the holidays to get stuff on winter clearance!
I, too, delete the "Sale, Sale, SALE!" emails, and throw out the catalogs before they even get in the house.
BUT, I tell my inner-greedy Christmas child that she can have ANYTHING she wants, after New Year. Usually by then I've come down from the holiday hype, however a little, "Thank-God-I-Made-It-Through-Everything" Gift for myself can be nice.
And don't watch TV ads! We have one in Hawaii for a car seat cover maker that in the very first line of the ad is telling us to buy for ourselves first. At the end of the commercial, they say that their products make great gifts for others. Oh the shame!
I get the stuff I want the old fashioned way: tell Santa, drop hints like mad and leave magazines open of the stuff I want.
Too late for me :) Though now that I'm done getting myself a few new things (dress, blouse, lipstick), I am totally focussed on completing the shopping for everyone else. Except for today, when I was in the kitchen store & got a couple of really cute dog cookie cutters for our house.... but I will use those to make treats to give as gifts, I swear!
I've always had trouble with Christmas shopping (one for you, two for me!). However, this year is the first year that everyone in the family has made a wishlist, and I've managed to get gifts for all 26 people and only a CD and a cookbook for myself! It took a while to talk everyone into the wishlist thing (years), but it's pretty much awesome.
I always buy a few things for myself during the holidays. I do most of my shopping online and there are always big sales + free shipping this time of year. Last year I got myself a nice Land's End parka for 40% off and free shipping. I do love a good deal.
I am already cringing at how much I spend on all the purchases for other people. WHY would I want to add to that for myself? Then again, I am about as far away from having a "spending problem" as you can get. I am insanely frugal when it comes to myself. I treat myself to a new holiday outfit (on sale of course) every year but the rest is all gifts for others! Just think about your credit card bill (or debit balance, or skinny wallet) before you add anything to your cart!
I don't see any problem shopping for yourself. Everything is on sale this time of the year, buying for oneself makes economic sense.
For me, "gifts" always mean inferior products. They're rarely things I like. In fact, they are often things I can hardly tolerate. It is therefore my generosity, my gift to others to not put any expectation on the gifts I receive. I buy for myself so that I can treat their gifts as "extra". I feel happier and more grateful even when they are inferior.
When I see things I want I just pin them on Pinterest on my "Buy Me This For Christmas" board. My family knows it exists and can consult it to know that they're going to buy me something I'm really going to love.
Basil&Bones - amen! That's what we've done for years. It's hard with kids in this culture, so until they were older, we did do seasonal gifts for the small fry. Now the nest is empty and we gift ourselves experiences from time to time: meals, movies, theatre, music, travel (day trips included), and the occasional gourmet food treat or flowers not from the yard. It's SUCH a relief to be free from pressures of the holiday season! We've had no regrets and genuine gratitude when we suggest to others that we release one another from "obligatory" gift-giving. Sometimes people don't want to appear miserly but will appreciate that you took the initiative on a no-gifts plan. Alternative: suggest homemade gifts only (busy and non-crafty or non-cooking people may feel pressure from this as well), or agree to get together after the holiday for a relaxed communal activity.
I just can't! I MUST buy myself something for Christmas every year. One strategy I use is purchasing items that come in sets, and then using promo codes to get free gifts along with that. So one purchase gets split up into gifts for 3 people, literally!
Opt out of compulsory gift giving and just host a nice party. They shop for yourself.
Watch an episode of Till Debt Do Us Part prior to heading out to the stores.
I love this idea! Thanks!
Having barely enough money to cover buying for others makes it pretty easy to not buy for myself.
I don't really see the problem of shopping for yourself. If you can afford whatever it is you're buying, oftentimes you get the best prices now.
First, I've heard that 40% of gifts at this time of year are re-gifted! That means people don't like them enough to keep them. Think about this when you shop!!!
My solution is that I simply don't exchange gifts with anyone except my partner, and we both try very very hard to give things the other will actually like. He earns more and likes to give me technology (iPhone, iMac, probably an iPad this year...) I earn way less and like to give him unexpected cool things I scour the Internet for (among other things, this year some "rapid prototyping, 3-D-printed" metal D&D dice -- they are like jewelry, very detailed and amazing! And expensive, but within my budget.) I set a budget I can afford, and don't go over. He does what he chooses to do, knowing that. We are both content. (I wish I could do more, every year, but reality is what it is.)
I don't exchange gifts with other family or friends. If we celebrate with each other we do dinners or cards or something that isn't a "gift". It takes some campaigning to get family members to accept this plan, but after years of getting disappointing junk (or, in my family, exchanging equal value gift cards!!!), they can be persuaded. (And then if somebody just can't stand the pressure and breaks down and give you something, you can just say "we agreed not to do this, remember? Thanks very much, though" and let it go. Reciprocation then becomes a guilt game -- don't fall for that!)
So if you limit your gift budget and purchasing of gifts to only the really special people in your life, then you CAN splurge on yourself a little! Think of it as getting what the people you stop exchanging with would have gotten you if you cleverly planted the idea in their heads somehow! (I just ordered some glass icicle ornaments from Overstock.com that I have been admiring for about three years. I just want them. My gift to me.)
Amen. Case in point--last year's gift exchange at work. Even tho' we gave each other lists the person who drew my name ignored mine (all consumables; coffee, choc, etc) saying she thought Christmas gifts should be something you could see all year & be reminded of the person. Firstly, I loathe her. Secondly, I took one look at the "cute doggy" picture frame & dropped it in my donation bag. Not in my house, thanks. The person whom I drew, who had specified "scenty things" was looking awfully polite about the handmilled scented soaps. Both of us wasted $20.
So this year I opted out. I've got $20 to buy books on Amazon, & they've got all the fun of complaining about what a Grinch I am. Win/win.
Hey 3 dogma,
I signed up for similar gift exchange at work (Secret Santa). Only a handful of people signed up, but our cap on the price is $10 (plus 13% tax). I put under my "hints" that I have 2 dogs. So if I get anything for the pooches, I am fine with that. I would actually much prefer it to anything for myself (I am very picky about chocolate, has to be at least 85% cocoa) etc. The recipient of my gift is a woman so I will probably get her a $10 gift card for Home Sense (most women love the store and if not, it is easy to regift).
I buy myself a birthday and Christmas gift every year. Who knows best what I want but me!
I don't shop at traditional stores...If I can't make it, I go to ETSY but we stopped exchanging gifts along time ago; family was getting too big. So it's hit or miss with me. One year I may buy gifts and the next I may not. This year I did because I found things for everyone or I made them. It's been fun this year..Normally, I feel stress but because I found so many cool, fun, USEFUL things for friends and family, they all got gifts.
I no longer beat myself up...I too give through out the year.
I've found that creating wish lists can actually be a helpful way of limiting spending and getting the satisfying feeling of having purchased something without actually doing it. Whenever I see something for myself that I have the urge to buy, I look it up online and add it to my wish list (you can use Amazon for global wish lists; I also use evernote, which has the benefit of letting you add photos of things that aren't available online). This way I feel like I've acted on something, but haven't spent money. Every few months I'll check out my wish list and see if I still want any of that stuff; a lot of the time I don't.
I also make gift lists throughout the year for the people that I want to give gifts to -- either for the holidays or birthdays. When I'm with someone and they mention something, or if I just think of something randomly, I'll put it in their gift list. Then when a birthday or holiday comes up I can look over the ideas I've collected and see which one makes the most sense at the time. I find this not only helps me in the spending department (because I'm not doing the frantic "I don't know what to get you so I'm going to just buy a bunch of stuff at the last minute and hope you like something"), but it also means the gifts I give are much more personal.