apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I have WAY too many coffee mugs, but each one is a reminder of something significant.

I am getting better but not all the way there. I sell furniture when it does not work for me any longer. I give clothes away to the Salvation Army on a regular basis. It is all the other stuff I hold on to. The artwork, the bowls, candleholders all that other stuff I always put away thinking I will need them later.

I am having a yard sale tomorrow and am really proud at the stuff I am letting go of. I am getting there....slowly.

Like DawnMarie, I can't help but think I might want/need things later, even if I don't use/like/wear them now. It's rare that I dig something out that I put away for future use, but it has happened on occasion.

I am not so much bound to my things for sentimental reasons as I am weighed down by the guilt from having spent good money on something I no longer want. I end up hanging on to things I don't have a place for because of this. I'm sure that's a big reason for the booming self-storage industry.

There are only a few items I give a crap about. I just moved and I used the opportunity to get rid of at least a third of the junk I was hoarding. It was pretty liberating.

I've decluttered and de-importantized enormously over the years, but I still have a few such useless things around. More than some people, less than others.

I answered "No" to the survey then asked myself which single piece I would hold onto if I had to give up all the rest? The decision was much harder than I imagined. Can I take back my no vote?

This is weird, but...

I lived in an area with flooding many years ago. I was evacuated for a few weeks and I assumed all of my "things" were probably ruined. (I'd taken my photo albums with me, and put a few expensive-to-replace things upstairs with a neighbor).

Turns out we were lucky and no water got into our apartment, but after something like that, you realize that your stuff is just stuff. You can replace stuff, unless it's a priceless museum-worthy artifact.

But I have really good insurance! I don't want to pay out of pocket for the same things twice.

I'd have to say I'm attached to fewer things than most people realize, but am attached to more than I like to admit to. However, as I get older, I'm noticing that the charity donations bags have more and more dust catchers in them.

It's all just stuff. I've given away amazing and expensive antiques to OUT OF THE CLOSET (the local GOODWILL). Holding onto stuff that I no longer want or need does not make me a better person or a happier person or a wealthier person...It makes me a person living in a cluttered home. I don't want to live my life surrounded by clutter.

It's the weekend --- YAY!

I don't buy much and just things I really need and I do use. The problem is that I often receive presents from my family and friends: I live far from them and they are trying to compensate. Unfortunately, I cannot give away what was given to me as a gift even if I don't especially like it or use it, I'd just feel way too guilty.

I didn't think I was too bad at hanging on to things until I moved this weekend. My mom and husband ganged up on me and made me de-clutter. Although I fought it, it is now quite liberating! (Although I really would have liked to keep my VCR!)

The stuff that's most difficult for me to decide on is stuff that was made by someone important, like my grandmother. I'm thinking of one particular thing - a rug - that's damaged, but I can't decide to give it up, since she made it. Stuff brought over from the old country, like ethnic jewelry, is without question not junk. It may be sentimental, it may have no real financial worth, but it's important family stuff.

I am getting a lot better about recognizing things I just don't like and stop listening to the voices (there's my own voice, plus the one from my mom mainly - nothing literally insane, just guilt) that considers myself "broke" and in need of perfectly good stuff, that I really don't like but which I might get some use out of.

I still justify hanging onto things I think I like. Sometimes I'm sure and sometimes I'm not sure. I even get annoyed that I still have to use things I don't want anymore and trying to move everything I can to the ample closets I am blessed to have and get rid of furniture I hate rather than pile everything on the floor that is in it.

It's a process to sort through things to keep things with meaning from getting thrown out/donated with things that don't feel like they're mine, and to replace things to my taste if necessary. I don't really like voids, either, but I'm developing patience to find the right thing instead of "needing" something/anything.

Like many others here, I'm getting better at letting go of stuff (the AT out box is a God send), but I'm not where I'd like to be.

I'm in de-aquisition mode. Just had Out of the Closet pick up some things last weekend also - including things that I thought I could sell, but I figured that I really didn't need the money that badly for the hassle...
...then after they left, I realized I could have sent even more stuff away. I guess I'll be making another call soon.

The great thing is that I'll be able to make what ended up as a spare junk-room into a nice cozy den.

I'm not attached to much. If something is not currently useful to me, I get rid of it, or exchange it for something I need/would like more. I do have a few things that are simply beautiful and don't serve any other pupose, and I've hung onto some photos and old letters, and more music albums than I really need. I could lose it all and be okay though.

The only things I'm "attached" to are my books. Even with these, I do part with some occasionally. Currently, I have selected one author (I have about 35 books by this author) to reread; I'm on #22 right now. When I am done, they will be donated to a local library. Can't build any more bookshelves so . . . Other than books, most everything else has been weeded out and disposed of.

I don't think of myself as being attached to my stuff, although I'd be said to lose old family photos and papers...I have one box full of them.
But I do have a problem with give-aways:
I have a hard time giving away gifts.
Even if an item is inappropriate or downright ugly, if someone gave it to me, I have guilt feelings when I want to part with it.
This is truest of items given to me by my closest friends/family.

Photographs do me in: it is getting to the point that I don't take pictures anymore (digital or not) because I don't deal well with the aftermath.

Two years ago I sold nearly everything I owned (except clothing, artwork and kitchen stuff) and moved across the country. I discovered what I truely care about (since it had to fit in a 4x8 Uhaul trailer) and let the rest go. It was a great feeling. I like not being tied down with stuff. Of course, I have alot more now that I'm settled in California but I don't feel so irrationally attached.

i have WAY too much scrapbooking/crafty stuff. it takes up our whole storage area at our apartment. i want to keep it all but have no clue how to keep it organized and available!

sigh. i guess thats the life of a pack rat though.

ack, the comments are freaking out! hope this posts okay.

Gifts are hard for me too - like many people, I've gotten lots of stuff I didn't like at all, but I can't get rid of it right away! Most of it, I keep in the bottom of my closet until enough time has passed that I don't feel bad giving it away - but some things (ie, expensive leather bags) I feel like maybe someday I'll like, so I hang on to them. I don't know if this is irrational, since it's obviously not something I like now or would ever buy for myself, but maybe someday I'll be glad I have so many beautifully crafted leather purses that are totally not my style? Is this dumb? I have no idea.

There are people who cannot let go and people who let go very easy---you will not change---stop trying and enjoy life. Now, if you are one of the ones who save every item that passes into your home, papers, cans, bottles, string etc., then you may need some help!

I'm not very attached to my stuff. We had a small fire in my building a year or so ago, and when the alarm went off I just grabbed my purse and laptop and ran. I would have been fine with just having that left. Although maybe another change of clothes would have been helpful... :)

It depends upon the "stuff." I get rid of clothing, shoes, kitchen stuff, furniture in a flash - but that isn't the stuff with memories. After 9/11, my loft was filled with toxic dust and I had to get rid of all the rugs I'd collected over the years, plus some textiles. It wasn't that the rugs were worth so much - the replacements paid for by the insurance company were much more valuable. It was that the pieces had memories, and the new, more valuable things were just "stuff." So true sentimental value stays, "stuff" goes.

And listen to George Carlin on "stuff."

I'm not attached to my stuff at all!!! In my case I was in my early teens, living in Africa, when my mom woke me up in the middle of the night and said...'we have to leave now, pack one suitcase". I looked around that beautiful house, grabbed the suitcase and started packing. What would you pack? Well...I only packed jeans, Tshirts, a few of my beloved books and a very small hand painted ashtray from the living room. It was small enough to fit in my jeans pocket.

This was 30 years ago. We left everything behind and for political reasons we had to run to save our lives.
I still have that little ashtray and will keep it forever but boy did that episode mark my life. I de-clutter constantly, I 'need' to know exactly what I have at all times in my house AND once in a while I still think...what if I have to run for my life again?

I have a very close coulple of friends who were in the de-cluttering process last year. They're also very attached to belongings and were getting sick of rediscovering stored objects, just to put them back again thinking they can't get rid of them.
At one moment, as they told me, they found a series of cardboard boxes from when they moved in. Neither of them remembered what was inside. It mustn't have been important since the boxes hadn't been opened since they lived there (2003).
The husband suggested they throw the boxes out, or give them away to charity, without opening them. Since they couldn't remember what it was, they wouldn't be tempted to keep things.
In the end curiosity was stronger, along with the fear of living with remorse...

Their story left me uneased : I could never had done this either, the very idea freaks me out.

I wonder how anyone else here feels about this idea?

Like Laura above, my wife and I pared down to a 3x5' closet full of stuff during a move almost a decade ago. Once we resettled, it took about 6 months to fill the house and garage up with crap again.

This post hits home for a lot of people, I think. It was the most interesting post to me of last week, anyway. People are seriously emotionally chained to their stuff, it should be obvious. The storage of all this stuff brings more anxiety than pleasure, overall, yet people cannot deal with getting rid of it.

I have struggled with this off and on, it's a constant battle.

Is being sentimental irrational? I'm not advocating keeping piles and piles of stuff, but sometimes that stuffed pink elephant the boyfriend won for you at the state fair is something that you may secretly sleep with when he's out of town. And the table your grandfather made is something that makes you think of him before he got so sick.

I think that detachment is all fine and good, but I'm not a monk. I think that there's a balance to be maintained here.

I don't really agree with the question - Are you irrationally attached to your stuff? A)Yes. I'm attached to useless items that have sentimental value.

I think sentimental value is a perfectly rational reason to be attached to something.

that said, I don't feel very attached to most of my stuff and don't feel guilty about donating stuff I "paid good money for". I don't have that much stuff, and I try to avoid getting more by asking friends for dinners out and gift certificates for birthdays, etc.
The things I am attached to are my photo albums, lap top, journals, couple of art pieces, cello, and about 10 books. They are important to me, irrational or not, so the attachment is fine.

I love the "if there was a fire, what would I take" theory. Up til recently it would just be photos and a change of clothes for me too.

But I really love my insanely georgeous and memory-collecting dining room table. It cost a fortune, weighs a tonne and if there's a fire it would burn baby, burn. It would be hard to walk away from that.

So me and my dining room table, going down together. That's the only 'stuff' I'm really attached to.

when i was a kid i had a very very vivid imagination and i would think that if one knife was left i the drawer it would be lonely... and the problem with getting attatched to junk started there. i of course don't think inanimate objects have feelings anymore... i was 8 at that time lol.

My husband built a 2nd house last year for his car collection.

A garage for up to 8 cars (700 SQF) and a 1000 SQF house. ( 4 cars on the ground/4 stacked above with a lift)

No one lives there, just 5 cars now.

Sort of like Jerry Seinfeld's place, but it cost a lot less.

1000 SQF finished dog house. 2 storey attached.

Not to mention his 12 ham radios.

Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa201/ve4mm/IMG_2212.jpg

Another pic

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa201/ve4mm/IMG_2221.jpg

I just moved and started a new career. For once, before I moved, I got rid of everything I could. Over half my books, more than half my clothes, all gifts that I don't love (would you want someone to keep one of your gifts if you knew it was weighing them down? I doubt it), etc. I still have some things I am attached to for sentimental reasons, like the teddy bear my brother gave me the day I was born, but they can now breathe rather than be buried under a pile of junk I don't care about. I am no longer spending my time and money maintaining things that don't give me pleasure. My house is clean and calm because I can get to everything easily, and use everything frequently.

My new place is under 500 sq. ft., and everything fits perfectly. It is really a joy.

I have waaaay too much Fiesta and fabric. But I've made a step towards decoupling and I must admit feeling better.

Every time I move I sell a lot of stuff at carboot sales and/or give it away to charity shops. Nonetheless, I hold on to all my photos and every letter I have ever received. And art given to me by my family and friends. And all the wooden boxes I used to collect while traveling as a flight attendant. And most of my books, I hate throwing out or giving away books. I know I could declutter more. I love the simplistic look but can never quite pull it off myself!

Just what exactly do you mean by irrational, hmmm?

I know a woman who, except for her first 8 years of marriage, has lived in the same house she was born in, and now she is in her 90s. The house was build by her great-grandfather. I think she is the luckiest woman in the world.

I wish I had every camera I ever owned---starting with my Brownie Starmite, and every radio too. I wish I still had all my computers :) I do have all my sewing patterns from the time I was a 6th grader (because that is when I started helping my mother sew my clothes) but I forgot to save a fabric swatch. But I could sketch the fabrics :) because I still remember.

Don't even ask about my books!

Is it important? No. Yes. It's who I am. Before my mother died, she told us to pick out what we wanted. I told her I wanted everything :) She smiled.

I am not a pack rat; I am a museum.

I do not get attached to stuff. I have moved five times in four years and the only 'stuff' that was ever important to me have been my two cats, Shadow and Dakota. I've given away furniture, left behind papers, thrown out photo albums. I don't care. Shadow and Dakota are the only two "belongings" I wont leave without. If there were ever a fire, I have two pillowcases at the ready to just scoop them up before they can object. Everything else is replaceable and can burn.

I could fit the stuff I am actually attached to in medium-sized cardboard box. The rest of it... while I use and/or like most of it... could go, and I wouldn't really miss it.

good timing for this article. i'm living the next two months away from home.. in a different country!

all the while i'm constantly reassessing what's back at my apartment just so i can finally do a better purge when i get back!

"I am not a pack rat; I am a museum."
Somebody should silkscreen that and make a lot of money.

Being irrationally attached to my stuff doesn't really address the root of my issues, which is "why do I end up with all this crap to begin with!?" Blaming it on stupid good friends or family giving stupid gifts can't really be a viable option for me, since I highly insist that no one give me any kind of gifts on special occasions (I like treating people on my birthdays to restaurants I and only I like).

For me, the question is really nonexistent until the time comes where there really is no option for being irrationally attached, in which case the answer would be no. Once, I had to delete an entire account on my computer with the entire history of my high school and college experience in terms of papers, articles, pictures, etc. It hit me in the gut after I did it, but then I got over it. I did the same thing when I moved to college then five years later to my first apartment (in between graduation and first apartment, an entire year of living all over the place). Then too, it hit me in the gut, but then too I got over it. After this first apartment, experiencing having my own space for the first time, I realize that I kinda like my stuff, and would probably be very reluctant to toss my stuff in the future. But all the same, I know when the time comes my former self will reemerge and ultimately get over the loss.

I guess like the other posters here, it comes from being perpetually uprooted: I have never stayed in one place for longer than six years, and opted for a life where I get uprooted every few years, sometimes to totally different countries. I like things that would ground me and remind me that the turmoil of new places pass after a while, and that beyond everything I long for times and locations past, times and locations wasted on thinking about the future. I like things period, but never lose sight of their--and every thing else's--impermanence. And who knows, maybe the next city offers a plethora of crap I can buy and horde. I need to make room for those.

Does that really answer the question "why do I have all this crap to begin with?!" Eh. maybe.

i often get "looks" when 'friends' come home because i have a very decluttered home - i have art work etc, but it is very paired down - just the essentials. i love good things but the thought of that clamouring my small space makes me ask the question -

do i want it or need it.
so if it is need i'll buy otherwise thankfully i enjoy window shopping and leave it there. it is a discipline that i have learnt having to spend money on things that i need. there are always yard sales and shops , they are never going away, so i 'll put away the shopping for later.. and the later never comes because i forget what i want !!

Not since we moved to a much smaller place. When you can't move for furniture ornaments and books they soon lose their charms.

When I moved from Canada to the USA I was shocked at all the stuff people had. Who needs a bun warmer? (But now I have a plate warmer!)Then I worked in Peddler's Village, the second most popular tourist attraction in PA and people could not wait to spend their money on more stuff. It's appalling to me to see all the knick-knack junk with which middle-aged people (usually women) fill their homes. I think somehow it is a replacement for relationships, the way overeating is a replacement for really good-tasting food. My own body and home could use some paring down and I'm on it right now.

Last February I downsized to an apartment half as small and loved paring down. Now, it's time for round two: after 6 months there are yet more items that I thought I would use and still don't.

My most difficult hold-out are my books...especially (and most irrationally) some old college text books and law school books. It's been 10 years and I have yet to crack them open. But...ah...the old ego gets in the way.

As with my books, I think we often hold on the things we don't use anymore on account of what we think those items convey...to others or to ourselves.

I'm donating them to a used book store today. They do not reflect who I am anymore. (The do not reflect who I am anymore...they do not reflect who I am anymore...)

I love Alton Brown on Food Network. He has a great word for practically useless kitchen gadgets that only do one thing. I can't think of it right now, but its great and has kept me at bay through many trips to crate and barrel.

OK, backlash here. The idea of de-cluttering is, among other, positive things, trendy right now. And while there's much to be said for a healthy purge when stuff starts weighing one down, both spatially and emotionally, there's also much to be said for having one's stuff, if one's attached to it! A few years ago, I moved from a 19th C 16 big-room house cum 3 car garage to 650 sq ft. Before I moved, I filled three 20-cubic-ft dumpsters and also gave away lots more. I do not feel liberated, I feel diminished. I'm not a packrat: I had my stuff in my imagination, and I would often revisit furniture and objects to use in new places and new ways It was as if my creativity was free to roam out into the material world, and I loved it.

Sure, there are unhealthy or lazy ways to accumulate stuff (the hated gifts, the stuff you thought you liked but found you didn't, etc), but there are healthy ways, too!

mally, do you mean his hatred of UNITASKERS vs MULTITASKERS? gotta love multitaskers :)

I suggest donating your books to the local LIBRARY.

I tried selling some books yesterday and got pennies. I wish I had turned down their offer and taken them to the library instead. And the book I had to buy will be donated there when I'm done as well. I wish I hadn't had to buy it, I tried to find it used or even on audio, but noooooo. It's a brand new softback with color illustrations, and I only need to read it once. But if you donate to a library, you can read it over and over again if you want! And you're sharing the joy!

Also, part of the reason I couldn't find it at the library was someone never returned a copy from 2007. So I'm replacing it for them!

i moved into my (now) husband's house 31 years ago. everything i owned fit neatly into my 1973 VW...that included my sewing machine and ironing board. we were mis-matched from the beginning. he was/is an obsessive collector, and now has a "shed", garage and bedroom that he has stuffed with stuff(half the square footage of our abode). he has every tool known to mankind; i don't have any kitchen gadgets except a blender and mini food processor. when my project/art pieces start crowding my head space and physical space, they are donated...

yes, i second the motion...make this into a poster:
I AM NOT A PACK RAT; I AM A MUSEUM (by fontessa)

I AM NOT A PACK RAT; I AM A MUSEUM

love it! (would buy a poster for several relatives...)

My husband was quite attached to his collection of hundreds of DVDs when we met. Since then, we've moved to a small town in VT with a very small local library, and donated almost all of our movies there. It's great because we can watch them anytime we want (just picked up "our" copy of "Wonder Boys" yesterday), and everyone else gets to enjoy them too.... the librarian said that a lot of people know their collection by heart, and can pick out new stuff right away. :)

I can get irrationally territorial about my stuff when in a large group of strangers. Say, when sharing summer rental one weekend with 20 people. I like to leave with what I came with. That's kind of crazy, right?

I've worked fairly hard to get rid of all those mugs, year-books, boxes of photos that are never perused, old-tshirts, etc. But I find myself attached to a few things like a pastel drawing of my long-departed kitties, a ceramic piggy-bank given to me when I was five, and a very nice collection of inherited crystal. I think it's a great thing to keep a few personal things that you can work into your living space , but if you're hauling around a box of stuff that you only look at when you move or deep-clean, then it's time to exhale and let it all go.

For me, the issue is potential: I COULD use this thing. I MIGHT need these art supplies.

However, last year I had to move and downsize about 30%. It felt wonderful to put good stuff out on the sidewalk on the way to work and come home and find it gone. Everything except my old scanner was gone.

Now I'm moving again (having acquired some bigger pieces of furniture) but I dont feel weighted down as much, because all of the pieces are relevant and necessary to my life at present: couch, chairs, etc. Not as much extraneous stuff is kicking around.

Danze, I could see that moment..you looking around and grabbing the little ashtray because it could fit in your pocket..It made me feel very emotional...for you..Thank you for a reality check..