apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

My home is my refuge, where I can walk around in my undies or nekkid, without worrying about others. Moreover, it's important that it's quiet when I need quiet, that I can avoid having social contact when I need to be alone. Living with a house of people would take away the refuge aspect of my home.

I've been privy to all sorts of housing arrangement- from communes, to intentional communities, to shared housing. And really for me... there is no way in hell. I've done my best to avoid even traditional roommate situations. These type of communal housing situtations generally start off with the best of intentions, but almost always evolve into some sort of drama. Is someone in charge? What happens when someone fails to live up to their obligations? Eats your oatmeal? Has signifigant others over? Has one night stand over? Has a psychotic break? Can't afford rent/common fees? It's always drama.

The only thing that has ever seemed remotely feasible is an intentional community where people have entirely seperate living quarters (apartments, cottages, etc) with detatched common spaces. But then again, I am a curmodgeon.

My husband and I lived with another couple right out of college as a social experiment. We loved and hated it at different times but always remember it as an exciting year and a half. We parted ways to attend separate grad schools but still count them as some of our closest friends.

We helped raise their new son and got some great parenting lessons before our own came along but I wouldn't jump at the chance to do it again. At least not with the same set up as we had very little privacy and personal space. The older I get, the more important those things are to me.

I do admire those who can pull it off and love it.

Rent in DC is ridiculous and until the past year when RE prices started coming down, group houses were pretty much the only option for many folks, not just college students. I know folks who work mulitple jobs, service industry folks, nonprofit folks, govt. folks, embassy folks, etc. And they all have an economic need to live in a group house. The people I know who own homes actually rent out rooms and they become group houses to help pay the mortgage. So yes to the question.

Having lived in the dorms in the USAF for 5 years - I actually liked the camaraderie...

...and as much as I'm enjoying having my own space again, I can see living in a group situation again when I get older - It could be nice having company and being able to look after one another, yet retaining one's privacy in one's own room. (Envisioning "Golden Girls")

Friends of mine live in what they call a "community-house". It's a nice sized house with a full backyard, front yard, front porch, enclosed porch - really great size and layout. The people who live there range from 18-31 yrs of age. they welcome couch surfers, travellers, hippies, people who are in transition from one apt to the next (who all have to pay a fraction of rent for as long as they stay). They also, host monthly house shows, bringing local talent and about 200 people into this house to be a community and enjoy music together. They live in a pretty rough area but are working to bring their neighbors together and to add a little bit of comradery and friendliness to the people around them.

however, seeing what their house has become as far as cleanliness is concerned, with the change of people every other week, I don't think I would chose to live in a group home but i think what they're doing is cool.

I lived in the perfect home for group living back in college. Each room had a bathroom, and we all shared the cost for a maid to come in and clean the 'common areas' one a week. This solved the age-old issue of 'I didn't make that mess, I'm not going to clean it' mentality. Each person had their sanctuary, but could enjoy some company when they needed it. The only probem was that it was an old house, and sound carried far too easily.

If there was a house that has state of the art sound insulation, and a bathroom in every room, I might consider it, even today. Also, I learned that good roomates are the KEY to a happy living situation.

As someone who lives in San Francisco, it still amazes me that anyone here can afford to not live in a group house.

I could see myself living in a group situation if I were alone in my 50's or if my significant other had passed away. Maybe.

I'd consider it. In fact, my friend talked with us about the idea of buying a house together. My husband and I finally decided not to for other issues of practicality, but I'm not opposed to the idea.

Depends on what kind of group home. I once lived in an old Newport mansion that had been divided into apartments. There were communal spaces, and a communal yard, but everyone had their own kitchen and bathroom. I think that's the key to happiness.

I would maybe do it to save money if I was single. Now that I'm married, we just decided to get a studio apartment in Columbia Heights...

Having lived in a sorrority house for a year, that is the first and last of my group house experience.

I lived in a great group house in Arlington for a few years. It actually worked out really well, we had an upstairs and downstairs kitchen, 3 bathrooms for 5 rooms. All was well until a new guy moved into the room that shared a bathroom with me who didn't believe in closing the door when using the bathroom or showering.

I think group houses much past your mid-20s can be a bad idea, but if your whole house is older and past the frat house stage it can be alright.

My Boyfriend: "Yea! It'd be just like living in a dorm!"

Me: "No! It'd be just like living in a dorm!"

My sisters and I plan to move in together when we are old widows. But I don't think I could live happily w/ anyone except family.

Maybe if I was single or older (I like the Golden Girls reference). The college dorm thing was exciting for the time but at this stage in my life my home is my sanctuary. Not into drama and love my privacy and alone time. With the right people, shared mindset, and house layout I could see how it could be cool.

The idea of living without roommates is actually really weird to me, I feel like I’d get lonely, as annoying as roommates can be sometimes. I lived in one group house with totally random people from Craigslist, and one group house with really, really good friends, and I think the key to it is going in with people you love. You will hate each other at times, but there are way more good times than bad. Everyone becomes family, for better and worse. As long as there’s a decent amount of space, it saves money, so why not?

I definitely see the appeal with my insane U street rent for a studio, but I told myself I wasn't going to live like I'm in college after I graduate. Sorry, no more grateful dead tapestries for me.

With rent prices the way they are, and nonprofit salaries the way they are, a lot of people in the DC-area have to live in group houses - there's no other viable option. When I moved here and was making a starting nonprofit salary (and it was even a good starting nonprofit salary!) there was no way that I could afford to live by myself, and so lived in a group house in Arlington. It was okay; I mean, everyone had their own bathroom, so in some ways I feel like it didn't even really count as group house living.

Now I live with my boyfriend and really prefer it, but that's just because I'm super territorial and wasn't the best roommate (I really like my space to be my own). Still, if I wasn't living with the BF, there's no way I could shell out enough for a studio.

During college I briefly considered living in a women's home because a roommate situation fell through and I'd missed the deadline for the dorms. I ended up getting my own 1 bedroom apartment. The apartment was ok but probably more space than I needed at the time. Given my lack of furniture I could have been just as comfortable in an efficiency.

I've always lived with other people even when I can afford to not live with people. I like having people around without putting a lot of effort into it. Right now we have a roommate in our flat even though we could afford to not have one. She is great. She's created a garden on our roof deck, is always making interesting food that she shares and since she shares the same values and beliefs as us in terms of lifestyle we've never had a problem with not having complete freedom to what we wish. I think it helps when you own or are the master tenant and you aren't having roommate due to economic reasons. I would love to live in a cohousing community some day after having stayed at some in Europe and in the american south west.

I don't find having sharing a house or flat to be like being in a dorm as we all have our own space and we all have different things we like and contribute to the household.

I so wish I wanted to live in a group house. Theoretically, I love the idea of it....community and shared resources and all. But I'm not gonna pretend I'd ever want to do it.

Humans are social creatures. Living alone drives people crazy -- they make their apartments antiseptically perfect so that the few people who do come over will be impressed and will want to make friends.

um hell no. i own my own home and i don't like to share.

I also lived in a group house in Arlington post-college. It was an ok situation because, unlike some of my coworkers, I had extra cash left over after paying my $400 per month rent. Cheap rent, near the Metro...that's all it had going for it though.

i'm very much into this idea. in my ideal, i would have my own room and bedroom/living space and share a communal-style kitchen and space for lounging and watching movies.

I would live in a group apartment building...with my own apartment

Charlenemcbride, that's exactly what I do. I bought a huge, multi-unit house. I live in one unit, my parents and other family members live in the others. It's cheap, but we still have enough privacy. We share the back yard, which is a nice communal area. It probably wouldn't work for everyone, but my folks are great.

Laetitiae summed up my feelings exactly.

I answered yes and yes, but the term group house is really pushing it for my situation.

I live in NYC with my partner and a single roommate.
I have been having day dreams of eventually asking our roommate to move out (I was there before him although he and I are both on the lease currently) so that me and the boyfriend can live in the apartment alone, but with the economy how it is, it seems senseless to voluntarily raise our rent by $600 a month when we're actually paying a VERY reasonable amount right now.

I answered maybe but, after living 12 years in dorms, I think I have had enough of communal living!

I like the idea, I've seen it work well (and poorly), but it's not for me.

I'm sure this would be interesting and warm for some people, but it would be uncomfortable for me. I live in the city, and I take public transportation, etc., and this requires something of a social contract for people not to kick and shove each other out of the way and actually be considerate - I have seen all edges of that spectrum. I need to be away from that sometimes, and it's something not everyone understands, but being on view in that type of mood, up to and including offers of company and comfort and listening is just not what I'm up for when I get home, as I imagine this type of living situation attracts people who like that and are like that. If I had to explain to a housemate that hovering isn't exactly appreciated, it would make us all self-conscious.

It's wonderful to be alone in my own apartment doing my own thing. It's not anti-social, but these habits would be enhanced in a group living situation, and be redefined negatively and would feel a lot more lonely.

I've done both and enjoyed both. Honestly, as long as I have my own bedroom and people leave my food alone, I'm relatively happy. That being said, I tend to have high standards of cleanliness and get irritated when the common rooms are messy.

I'm a 31-year old non-profit worker who actually just moved out of a group house in favor of a studio. While group house living worked for me for several years, I eventually had enough of people telling what to do and enduring pointless group email discussions about buying sponges. Real estate in this city is crazy expensive, but I did manage to find a relatively good deal on my new apartment.

One problem with group houses is that they aren't very well maintained. Many landlords don't really care about keeping their homes looking nice if they're just being occupied by a bunch of messy 20-somethings.