I (and apparently most of my friends) just finished re-watching all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls on Netflix and I have a lot of thoughts regarding Christopher, Sookie, boy band posters, dark magenta paint, and monkey lamps...
1. Only Keep What You Love I'm sure the crystal candlesticks Emily gave Lorelai were exquisitely tasteful, but if a gift will never be used or enjoyed, don't let it hang around collecting dust. Exchange it for something you like- say, a lamp made of monkeys?
EMILY: Oh My God! They're holding coconuts and leering!
LORELAI: It's funny.
EMILY: You traded my lovely gift for a semi-pornographic, leering monkey lamp? How could you?
2. Make Insults Work In Your Favor Take it away, ladies...
LORELAI: Well, I know there are many things in my life you don't approve of.
EMILY: Like what?
LORELAI: Like this couch.
EMILY: Well, this couch is terrible.
LORELAI: Okay, good – you think the couch is terrible. Now, at one point in my life, you saying a couch that I carefully picked out and had to pay off over eight months is terrible might've hurt my feelings, but not anymore...Because one day, I decided that instead of being hurt and upset by your disapproval, I'm gonna be amused. I'm gonna find it funny. I'm even going to take a little bit of pleasure in it.
EMILY: You take pleasure in my disapproval?
LORELAI: I encourage it sometimes just for a laugh.
3. Even Plates/Plate Purchasing Can Be Fun Why eat off of boring old china from the store when there's 70's memorabilia to be tracked down? And check out that cookie jar...
EMILY: No food, no drink. Do you at least have plates?
RORY: Yes, we have plates. [Emily pulls a plate out the cabinet.]
EMILY: There are women in bikinis on them.
RORY: The original Charlie's Angels. It took us years to get a complete set. You can find the Kate Jackson's and the Shelly Hack's pretty easily. Even the Cheryl Ladd's. But the Farrah Fawcett's and the Jaclyn Smith's are a little harder to come by, but still accessible. The real trick however is to find the Tanya Roberts. We have three.
4. When In Doubt, Consult The Experts After spending days (weeks?) agonizing over paint colors for her house, Lorelai wisely consults....her dog.
LORELAI: Okay, dude. Check them out. Don't overthink it. What looks good to you? [holds up the paint samples for him and he licks one] Ooh! He licked the dark magenta.
LUKE: You know dogs are colorblind.
LORELAI: Okay, technicality. What about the baseboards? Baseboards. [he licks again] Ooh! Dark magenta baseboards. Interesting choice.
LUKE: I need a beer. [gets up and makes his way to the kitchen]
LORELAI: Oh. Oh, get one for me, too, please. [to Paul Anka] How about the ceiling? [the dog licks again and Lorelai gasps] Dark magenta!
5. No, Really: Hire An Expert Is your window broken and your house freezing? If you don't hire a professional window repairman but rather attempt to fix it with Saran Wrap and Barbie Band-Aids, eventually a drunken handsome diner owner will break in to fix it, injuring himself in the process and slurring those immortal, adorable words, "Got a handful of Barbie." And you wouldn't want that, right?
6. Always Choose The Lesser of Three Evils When Emily decorates in her mansion for 16-year-old Rory, she calls to ask her favorite colors, flowers, and..
EMILY: Sunflowers it is. Now, what about music? N'Sync or 98 degrees?RORY [to Lane]: Uh, N'Sync or 98 degrees?
LANE: What kind of sick joke is this?
RORY: I don't think I could choose.
EMILY: What about that other group? The Backside Boys?
RORY: You mean the Backstreet Boys?
EMILY: Yes that's it.
RORY: Um, I guess if I really had to choose, I'd say N'Sync.
RORY [hangs up]: What was that?
LANE: Sounded like some sick take on the Gallup survey.
8. Real-Life Inspiration Boards Get The Job Done Rory spent her childhood in a room plastered with Harvard memorabilia, and it certainly seemed to do the trick. Can the same be said for a Pinterest board?
9. Tool Shed Trumps Mansion, Sometimes When single teenage mother Lorelai left her wealthy (and domineering) parents' home, she quickly put together a lovely life and home for herself and her daughter- much to her mother's dismay...
RORY: And this is my favorite place.
EMILY: The tool shed?
RORY: No, this is where we used to live.
RORY: Right when mom and I moved here, this was our apartment.
RORY: I know it's looks small, but it's really pretty. Come on. See we had our bed right over there, and mom put up this really pretty curtain around the tub so that it looked like a real bathroom. And we would just sit outside at night when the Inn would have parties and we'd just listen to music and feed the ducks and. . . [Emily walks away] Grandma? Grandma wait, what's the matter?
10. "This is the last time I ever buy anything just because it's furry!" Lorelai overslept thanks to a less-than-reliable clock, but learned this crucial life lesson the hard way- so we don't have to.
LORELAI: My clothes were at the cleaners and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn't purr on time!
LUKE: It didn't purr?
LORELAI: It's fuzzy. It purrs.
(Image credits: Karenish; Netflix; Tumblr; Café Mystra; Netflix; Forever Young Adult; Hooked On Houses; The Gilmore Project; It's Filmed There; The Nina Bird)