The fact that they are using the term PDA just goes to show how antiquated these rules of etiquette are. If you're surround by a group of 20-30 somethings then I'm sure not a single one of them are going to mind.

I don't know... I'm 25 and I think it's rude

I think Trish 1980 has a great point. Face to face time is valuable, as MBA types recognize when they refer to the need to "get face time" with a decision maker. Even the best electronic device delivers a poor replica of face time. When I'm with someone who uses an electronic device during my time with him or her, I can't help but infer that he/she prefers second-rate communication with whomever is on the other end of the electrons to face time with me, or is rude. In either case, I decide to make my face time less easily available to that person in the future.
Decision makers are everywhere, not just on the other side of dollar signs.

I'm 23 and I think it's rude. Either talk to me or go home and talk to the person on your phone

27 and I find it rude. Of course, depending on how much I much I give a crap about the person I'm sitting with, I will say something.

I was at two group meals this weekend, and felt the odd man out BOTH times... since mine was the only face not underlit by a screen.

For emergencies, there is nothing better than cell phones, but for answering random calls while you're with someone else - totally rude. If you're not sure if it's important - answer and then explain immediately that you can't talk. 30 seconds max. IMO, cell phones are purely for my convenience, not so that other people can have 24/7 access to me. I'm not a luddite - in fact I'm the go-to person when my friends (of ALL ages) have IT questions - but it is very hard to seduce me with new technology. I see beyond the candy coating.

I'm 32...I don't think it's rude. I text and check e-mail when I'm with friends or my husband. So do many people I know - I saw that article in Real Simple and thought is was silly. I guess it also depends on how much you use technology in your everyday life - for me it's there at work and everywhere else so to suddenly stop checking my incoming messages because I'm having dinner with someone would just be weird. But it depends on the topic too - if you tell me you're getting married or having a baby or your dog died, I'm not going to pull out my phone and send a text :)

Oh it's rude all right. And my darling husband is the worst! Grrr. I'll have to tell him about the "Crossword Rule."

like anything, it depends on the context.

is this an intimate dinner or lost-finale-party? are you zoning out to start new, in-depth research or quickly replying to an email chain to keep the ball rolling in respect of the time of work-mates who might be working weekends and not have the luxury of said finale-party.

in modern culture -- some cliques more than others, of course -- we're expected to keep a few pots on full boil. it's part of our lives because it's part of our jobs... and yes, our jobs are part of our lives because many people find purpose in being productive. a paycheck also helps to pay the mortgage and orthodontist bill.

personally, i'm more frustrated with folks who've "opted out" and cause bottlenecks... folks that think they're more cultured and polite by *not* getting an iphone/bberry -- or even a cell phone -- and can only be reached via a phone call at their desk 9-5/m-f. if you're a librarian, fine. but if you're a decision-maker at a fast-paced, global organization... not so good.

OK - I admit it - I check my text messages when my dinner date is in the restroom...
...of course that's because it's been buzzing in my pocket all evening - and it goes back in the pocket when my date returns.

It's rude. If I've taken the time out of my busy schedule to spend with someone, I expect their attention. If they're going to whip out their phone every ten minutes to email or text someone - typically over something trivial that can wait, along the lines of "hey sweetie, I miss u" - then I'm obviously not as important to them as the people who aren't present. Several of my friends and I regularly have to say something to the worst offenders, who interrupt conversations and ignore us to answer texts or to check Facebook.

And I'm 27, so it's not like I'm an old fuddy-duddy. I've grown up texting, and it still annoys the bejeezus out of me. Guys have lost dates with me over this one, and job applicants (applying for positions senior to mine) lost my recommendation because of it (I was a junior member of a firm, doing a "recon" interview over lunch after the senior member of the firm did the first interview. Apparently, I didn't merit not checking email/texts during the meal.)

NEVER acceptable at a dinner table.

I like the Bathroom Rule. If you'd excuse yourself to use the bathroom, then you should excuse yourself to text/email. So, if you're with a big group where you wouldn't announce your intention to use the bathroom (at a bar, watching a game, etc.), go ahead and just text/email. If you're at dinner with a friend, where you would excuse yourself to use the bathroom, you should also excuse yourself if you need to check your phone.

And if it would feel noticeable and weird to keep making trips to the bathroom, then don't keep checking your texts/email.

Rude rude rude. I don't have a "PDA" -- just a phone that makes and received calls (I don't want something that makes coffee, picks up drycleaning, and feeds the dog unless it also cuddles). If I'm expecting an important call over a meal, I'll tell my companions that I may have to step away to answer it. But otherwise, not a chance I'd ever interrupt being with a person with checking email, text, or messages.

Rude beyond belief. My stepdaughter does this, and we always call her out on it.

I say go by the old song and "love the one you're with"!

Most things can wait -- I don't understand the compulsive need to be "in touch" at all moments for trivial nonsense. I fear many young'uns have no idea of how to enjoy being alone with their own thoughts. Pity, it's a form of quality time that's good for the soul.

It's extremely rude and to those who say they do it all the time; guess what, it's rude. There is not that much talking in the world. The rest of us do not want to listen to your personal conversations in the supermarket, at restaurants, at the LIBRARY OR BOOKSTORE. It is pure hell to be behind one of these people in public and if you come to my house and answer calls that are not emergencies, get out. I have trained my husband and daughter out of this rude, self-centered habit.

It's very rude. Crossword rule is a good basic rule.

iPhone or friend? Please choose one or the other.

@ericahd - I like your bathroom rule. Sometimes you just can't hold it, right? So you politely excuse yourself, do your business, and then return within a reasonable period of time. I'm okay with that.

But I wonder......

I'd really like to do a survey. I wonder how many of these people who think it's okay to obsessively check their iphones are the same people who say, "I would NEVER own a TV." The correlation is probably pretty high. Not sure what it means, but......

I'm 24, and I think it's terribly rude. What's terrible is I watch my professors checking their blackberries at seminars, other students playing on the iPhones...ugh. If your email matters that much to you, why are you there?

I'm 33 and think it's ridiculously rude. Just because lots of people do it doesn't mean it's OK. I'm thankful that most of my friends are luddites, and they are never checking screens while we're hanging out (unless, obviously, we need to look up directions or something.)

I'm back. I was thinking about the "crossword puzzle" rule, and on the one hand, I think it's OK. But on the other hand, it's not actually the same thing. When you're doing a crossword, you might turn to the person in the room and ask for word advice, and you are generally available attention-wise, but with a screen in front of you, you are fully absorbed in the screen. So I think it's an OK, but certainly not perfect, way of looking at it.

Um, if I were in my living room, entertaining a guest, and they pulled out a phone (unless it was ringing) OR crossword puzzle, I'd be kinda pissed.

I hate it when people do that. Normally I'd grit my teeth and put up with it. However, one day a friend was visiting from Japan, it was her last night, and we met some other mutual friends for dinner and those two pulled out their iPhones and started surfing the net. During dinner at a nice restaurant on our friend's last night in town. I fixed them with an evil eyed stare and calmly announced that I was leaving in 5 minutes because I had come to eat dinner and hang out with them--not stare at the tops of their heads. They looked honestly shocked. They put the iPhones down.

I just returned from a break w/ my boss and a co-worker - He had his face buried in his iPhone the entire time...
...he didn't get the Crossword reference either.

I'm sorry but I totally can't see why you wouldn't check your phone or answer a text when your date is in the bathroom?

I think the idea that there should be a "rule" is antiquated. It depends on the company and what is happening. With some of my friends, part of the fun of our in-person interaction is involving our other friends who couldn't make it or who are late by texting them. The texting becomes group entertainment, and of course, only takes a few seconds of our time together.

With your phone, you can take a quick glance. With a crossword puzzle, you're engrossing yourself in another goal.

There doesn't have to be a rule. You just use your common sense about the present situation. It doesn't seem that complicated to me.

"I don't want something that makes coffee, picks up drycleaning, and feeds the dog unless it also cuddles"

If my iPhone/computer cuddled, I would marry it.

So, generally I don't find it rude at all. Only in very rare circumstances. It'd have to be pretty egregious.

i don't have a PDA but i'm going to start carrying around a crossword puzzle instead.

B-)

I'm with ericahd - the Bathroom Rule. I excuse myself from the table if I absolutely need to check my messages. But only if it's from the baby sitter or family. Seriously, nobody else is going to need my immediate attention.

For some, I've noticed that obsessively checking ones phone in public has become a coping mechanism for social anxiety. If even the thought of leaving the house without a phone brings on a panic attack, then Houston, we have a problem.

It depends on the company you are with. I mostly hang out with geeky people who are very involved with tech and the web. We ALL use our iPhones (and a few Droids) while hanging out... and it's not weird and no one gets upset.

When I'm at a business meeting, we may or may not. Use your brain and your sense of the other person's comfort and do what is natural.

To say there are "rules" to any social interaction is to say that we are all the same.

This reminds me of the scene in the BBC version of Brideshead Revisited where Charles (Jeremy Irons) comes home from college to stay with his very odd father (Sir John Gielgud) and they have horribly awkward dinner talk, until his father pulls out a book.

Then one night, Charles pulls out a book too and his father is furious and says, you might at least try to talk to me.

The next time someone whips out his/her device at dinner, pull out a crossword puzzle and just start working on it. Then tell them to leave you alone i they ask you to stop.

I really like EricaHD's bathroom rule and great points Trish1980. I'm 24 and find it rude in alot of circumstances.

.... I might just have to text the bathroom rule to my tech addict friends. I laugh picturing the text arriving during a lunch and the look on their face as the realization hits (your welcome lunch buddy).

Friends and family are guilty of this. Some also interrupt you when you do manage to get their attention away from a shiny object long enough to start talking, so I tend to sit in silence and see how long it takes them to notice. I've had to explain several times to people who think *I'm* the sullen asocial one that checking your smartphone every few minutes means that a) You are obviously too busy to be here or b) I am boring you. If you are looking for an audience instead of a conversation, kindly look elsewhere.
Oddly enough, the most tech literate people I know are not the ones with this problem.

I'm 26, my phone if for business as well as personal use, and I still think in most face to face interactions it is extremely rude to be playing around with a cell phone. Even if it's just my roommate and I at a diner for breakfast, I think it's respectful to the person you are with to keep your cell phone away.

I also think it is a little rude to be talking on the phone while ordering coffee at a cafe or checking out at the grocery store.

Obviously there are different situations/circumstances that allow for or require different "rules" as it has become very common place for one's phone to function as a business tool in addition to a personal gadget, but I think the larger point to be made is that people are increasingly using cell phones, smartphones, mobile devices in a manner that discards basic common courtsey.

Once while working at a bookstore, I was ringing up a young woman's purchase. She was on her cell the entire time, didn't look at me once and basically tossed bills at me when it was time to pay. After she walked off, the 50-something gentleman behind her shook his head and stated, "She just treated you like a vending machine." I do believe he was right.

Something about all this just doesn't sit right with me. Do you really have friends who become totally engrossed in their phone while you're together? That either says something about yourself or the company you choose to keep. Maybe we should all look at ourselves first before placing all the blame elsewhere. Maybe I'm totally out there, but I just can't imagine being in the midst of a good conversation and one of my friends stopping midstream without at least saying, "sorry, give me a sec...." Or if it's a sort of quiet night, just hanging out, I don't see the problem with checking your phone. I guess it just comes down to common sense, rules or no rules.

I am 25 and have a smartphone. I agree with most of the posters above - it's rude. If checking email/blogs/crazy gaming app is more important than company, then why are you there?

But I also agree with a few of the above posters who mention it's about *how* you use the phone. If you're using it to look up a trivia point just brought up in conversation, or to contact friends you're thinking about anyway, then it's fine.