Being a student is awkward because you feel like you are expected to associate only with other students. We know a few of our student neighbors (who we chat with and spend time with occasionally) but none of our non student neighbors (with whom we only give a passing hello.)

Yes, I know my neighbors - many of them for several years...
...in fact, the couple who have lived next door since before I moved in 16+ years ago are a nice older couple. We've never really socialized - just chatted in the corridors, etc - and as he's getting older and suffering from Alzheimers, I'm sure he doesn't recognize me anymore, he just smiles weakly when I greet him. I've found him on more than one occassion wandering the halls and in the lobby - so I've convinced him to follow me so I can bring him upstairs in the elevator to his wife who has been surprised that he's gotten out and relieved that someone has brought him back from his wanderings.

No, I don't know my neighbors. I don't care to know them either.

I live in San Francisco, and I know and am friendly with (and in some cases friends with) several people from the apartment building next door to the right of my house, my neighbors to my left, my neighbors directly behind my house and neighbors from the housing complex across the street (whose cat we happen to have adopted!) One of my neighbors is my occasional handyman/gardener. Maybe this isn't typical in a big city, but I'm sure that part of the reason is that I have lived in my house for almost 30 years and some of my neighbors have been here even longer.

I don't really know my neighbors. On one side is a couple, and I've never seen the people on the other side. It doesn't bother me, really. I'm not antisocial, I just don't really have a reason to talk to the neighbors I have.

I live in Colorado Springs now and our neighbors act like saying "hello" or making eye contact may give them the plague - I've never seen such rude people before. I lived in Hawaii before this, and our neighbors were like instant family. I really miss that feeling of community... it felt much safer too!

we know 6 neighbors in our 3 building complex. that's partly because we moved in knowing 1 couple, they introduced us to a single guy, we convinced another couple to move in and met another girl through friends of friends.

we've lived in 9 different apartments in 10 years, and this is the most 'community' we've ever had nearby.

but it's fantastic to be able to run over to their door if we need some sugar or have a bbq out back.

Being the most anti-social person on earth, I don't go out of my way. However, I am friendly with a couple of them, enough to stop for a chat and we bring in the mail for each other, etc, and I've gone in and fed their cats a few times. We have new people next door, who are renting and will most likely be gone in about a year (given the long history of tenants moving in and out of that house) They've made no effort to talk to me and I feel the same, so I will make no effort whatsoever.

I live in Chicago - the city, not a suburb. And I know pretty much everyone on my block. When we moved in 10 years ago, we were the first new people in 25 years. Since then, there have been about 8 new couples or families. There's a block party every summer - which is very common in Chicago. In fact, I'm afraid of moving because I'd hate to move to a street where the neighbors don't know each other.

We moved into our house 6 months ago and my husband has made it his job to get to know all the neighbours. It seems like every day he's met someone new (like Cheryl in the red house and Hank in the house with the blue front door) and he's always offering to help someone out. Granted, my husband is one of the nicest people in the entire world I think it's great that he's trying to build connections in our communities.

We just bought our first (& hopefully last) home in March, and had our housewarming party last weekend. We stuck fliers in all the mailboxes on our street to try and meet and greet our neighbors. About 2/3 came, and it was wonderful to get to meet them as we'd only met three or four families before then. I adore knowing my neighbors, but I admit that I'm much more invested in those relationships now that a) we own, and b) we're in a more residential area. But even while renting on urban Capitol Hill, I preferred knowing who was who and saying a friendly hello. Not all of my former neighbors shared this view, shall we say. :) So the change in vibe is verrrry welcome.

I know my neighbors where I live now (Reno - in a house) to varying degrees. In Denver (in a condo), I really knew my neighbors - we were really tight. IN between, I lived in a small town and man - those folks really didn;t want to know anyone new. Friendly small towns are a myth.

When we asked when folks open their front door I was literally shocked at how many don't know their neighbors well enough to do so. That said, I had no idea who was on the other side of mine once I opened it!

I made an effort to meet my neighbors, before I even closed on my house. It's always seemed to be a good idea to be proactive about positive relationships with your neighbors. That way, when their dog keeps you up all night, you can talk about it, and actually resolve the problems. The nosy (but nice) little old lady across the street is a talker, but it's worth it, because she's also a watcher. She's not judgy, just watches everything, which means I don't have to lock up my whole place when I take the dog for a walk or have to run to the corner store. When she's outside gardening or whatnot, everyone's on their best behavior, which means no poop on my lawn! I also anticipate being able to save on things like tree trimming, if my neighbors and I talk the tree service into a discount for multiple jobs.

We live in the basement of a town home in DC, and have made it a policy to have dinner occasionally with our upstairs neighbors. Aside from those lovely people, we have a scary old hermit-type on the right and an ever-revolving set of college kids on the left.

My husband and I don't go out of our way to see our neighbors, even though we've lived there for almost 7 years and own our home. We're friendly and will chat if they walk by, but that's about it.

There are neighbors in my building I know (by looks only, I have no clue what their names are or what unit they live in) and many I don't know, but I know I always say hello when passing in the lobby. I figure a friendly hello never hurt anyone. Most of my neighbors are elderly and tend to keep to themselves. I know the three units right by mine (the ones on either side and the one across the hall) the people living there don't speak English, so it's hard to get to know them. The only neighbor I know by name is the man downstairs from me, as he has walked into my unit before without knocking while construction was going on (that's one way to meet your neighbors!) but I have noticed since having my son a lot more people in my building have stopped to talk to me in the hallways, especially the older ladies who miss their grandchildren. I am from a small neighborhood where I grew up knowing everyone all the way around my block, so this is different for me, I guess that's why I always give the friendly hellos.

yeah i talk to my neighbors!
they keep parking at my parking space and i have to knock on their door and tell them to remove their car!!!

I used to be interested in our neighbours when I was a kid, when it was super easy to approach a stranger and ask if they wanted to be my best friend.

But I kinda grew out of that and now there's definitely more social phobia... when I became a teenager, the neighbours used to spy on me, stare into my windows, yell at me, report back to my parents... it was just a creepy neighbourhood.

now I live in an apartment and I would love to be one of those community type people, but it's scary enough just to leave the building, let alone approach people who are in it :/

I've lived in a 13 story high rise for over five years, and while I don't know everyone in the building - I know most of my neighbors enough to chat a bit in a laundry room and on the elevator. On our floor we tend to be closer to the neighbors on our end of the hall by sheer proximity and the fact that they've all lived there as long as (most longer) than we have save for one apartment next door. We're all different ages and on a variety of schedules, but we'll stop and chat in the hall and try to know what's happening with each so we can help each other out if need be (like when our elderly neighbor had hip surgery, another woman was being treated for cancer, etc).

Our building is downtown, but we're in this kind of no man's land between neighborhoods. That used to really bother me, but I soon realized that we've got a nice community within our building.

@melle - why so afraid to leave the building? Most people are polite. It seems like the bad neighbors you had as a kid (were they elderly? Elderly neighbors are the snoopy type) affect you now. You're an adult now. No need to be afraid.

Barely... we don't socialize or anything like that.

When I first moved in, I was introduced to one neighbor by another neighbor as "she lives in the rental". That pretty much sums up my existence on this street. I like my shell and it's location. I have no use to socialize with these peeps.

After college, my boyfriend and I moved into a split level house in Hoboken, NJ. We were super close with the people who lived above us, all of who were around our age. When our place burned down we moved to a new building in the area and tried really hard befriend our neighbors, but it was quite difficult. We got to know another couple in the building, but it never really turned into a friendship. Now we're living in a large building in Baltimore and I've met a few of our neighbors, but every seems to try to stay to themselves.

We're lucky: we live in a university town in a neighborhood inhabited by many professors and university staff.

Our neighbors are always visiting outside on our very quiet street, many stop by to see the progress on our house. A 91-year-old woman lives across the street, her neighbor, a retired Marine, helps her get up and fed every morning, our closes neighbors are young professors with twin toddlers, a campus police officer is on the other side with his new wife...

it's the best "neighbor"hood.

When I lived in a village in the Dominican Republic my neighbor next door (a sweet older woman) would send her granddaughter over with a cup of coffee for me every morning, and I'd chat with them on their front steps some nights. It was lovely, and made me feel so much safer. :)

Now that I'm back in LA (and renting an apartment), I've made an effort to at least chat with my neighbors and I know most of them by name, but we're not yet at a point where we actually do things together. Someday! I did borrow an iron from my neighbor next door last week, and it was good to know I could go to her in a pinch.

I live on a great street in Washington, DC, on Capitol Hill where I both know and ADORE my neighbors. To one side is a Republican former congressman upon whom I can depend to fix anything in my house that breaks off hours, as long as I serve him wine. I bake him and his wife bread and cookies and cakes and drop them off periodically to keep that wheel greased, and he lets me (and all the other neighbors) swim in his backyard pool (we know where they keep the key to the gate.) One the other side is an interior designer who invites us in all the time for lemonade -- he sits on the porch and knmows all the neighborhood gossip. Around the corner is my gardener whom I launched into business when I admired his yard and hired him to work in mine -- now he tends 4 gardens on the street. Down the way is another neighbor I met at the paint store (I chose his colors) who lets me keep a veggie garden in his backyard. (we once bumped into each other in Afghanistan. That was strange). I have his front door combo and he has me check on his house periodically when he is out of town. Between us is our local insane woman who is a hoarder with OCD -- she keeps the street very clean, and once in a while sprays me with perfume as a treat (for her, I think). When her front door was open, the interior designer came to get me and myboyfriend to check on her. Further down is a Marine gunney sergeant with a lovely daughter to whom I gave my sled in a snow storm. Across the street is the second in commmand of US diplomatic policy in Pakistan; he's a good friend who comes for dinner on the deck every once in a while. And every morning when the weather is good the Republican congressman and the gay designer meet in front of my house to gossisip, and when I, the liberal writer in between, see them gathered I step outside with my coffee. I live on a very strange version of Sesame Street. So yes, I know my neighbors (she bragged...!) Porches help. Not having garages and cars helps. Admiring each others gardens and cats help. (My first meeting of the designer occurred on thesidewalk when police were swarming and there was apparently a sniper on the roofs a block away. That wasa fine introduction. The neighborhood has definitely improved. The former occupant ogf his house was a transvestite crack dealer named Melody who just wore a hairnet and a robe and came by to borrow water to flush the toilet a couple of times a week. so yes I knew my neighbors then too. :)
pam h
howtorunyourlife.blogspot.com

wow, I'm really surprised by how many people don't know their neighbors. I know about 75% of the people on my street. We have a neighborhood association (which sometimes drives me crazy because it seems to be overly concerned with parking infractions), and a wonderful arts festival. We do neighborhood parties several times a year, and folks often sit on the stoop and chat with passersby. I'd hate not knowing my neighbors.

I personally struggle a lot with social anxieties, but I still go out of my way to say hello to neighbors, especially new neighbors. It makes a huge difference in the neighborhood - people watch out for one another and are more considerate. I do think, though, that this was harder to accomplish when I was a renter instead of a homeowner.

I've lived in my small condo building for five years I don't know my neighbors that well. I know who they are though. I'm kind of antisocial and fear drama. We have a couple crazies and one particularly belligerent woman who makes everyone's lives miserable. However, I moved to this town years ago after living in a pristine subdivision in which no one knew each other. I had a fantasy that this crunchy, hippie progressive town would be a cool place to make a community. However, it wasn't as easy as I thought. I think it's important to know your neighbors and I'm not happy that I don't know them very well. This year as I'm on the condo board I figured I'm going to try to build some form of community even if it kills me and even if I'm not very social.

I live in a post-war inner city neighbourhood. I know my neighbours, by characteristics if not necessarily by name, and we'll acknowlege one another to say "hi" when passing, but I'm not particularly social with any of them.

I grew up in a small, isolated community where I knew all my neighbours (who nevertheless lived a km or more away) and while I like those people, I don't often miss it. In cities, we create our own communities that aren't necessarily completely geographical and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I do know most of my neighbors - we all sit out back and grill, have wine, and soak up fresh air while all of our dogs play together... very nice, really, and I wish more people could enjoy it!

screw neighbors, i know everyone on our street! i'd feel weird if i didn't.

I didn't ever know my neighbors until 1) we got a dog, and then 2) we had children. I know the ones who have one or more of each :)

We moved in a few weeks ago to the garden level apartment in a 3 floor building. We know our direct neighbors across from us (the only others on the floor). They are also a couple, thought about 10 years older than us. I know that a very large, Hispanic family with a handful of kids lives right above us (plus they are out of school now so it's extra loud). I haven't met them personally yet. The mom is home all day with the kid and from what I can tell the dad works until really late at night. Sometime soon I hope to meet them. Otherwise, it's kind of a strange layout to meet the other neighbors. Like, we'd have to go out of our way to do so.

I've been in my (low-rise) apartment building for seven months and I have never met any of my neighbors (there are four units on my floor) -- not in the elevator, not in the hallway. I'm pretty sure they exist, but I don't know their faces. It's kinda sad.

Growing up my parents were always a little antisocial. Though I lived in the same house my whole childhood and they both live there to this day they do not speak to their neighbors. I always thought that was just the norm until my wife and I bought our house three years ago. The first time we saw our neighbors she walked right up and started a conversation. I felt strange, like that was a no-no. I was also apprehensive due to the fact that we’re a lesbian couple moving to the suburbs and you never know how people are going to react to that. Luckily all our neighbors are accepting and friendly and are always stopping by to say hello. I must admit that it’s a nice feeling, really makes your surroundings feel like home, not just your house.

Definitely don't know my neighbors. I'm the type who will smile and say hello when passing by, but each time I've done this with my neighbors in my 20 apt complex over the past year, I've received weird/blank stares. Now I just ignore them too. :(

I live in a neighborhood that is very much like a small town. That said, I know my neighbors in my apartment building because two of them went to college with my husband and the other two are our landlords. I don't know the people in the building next door, but I could knock on many, many doors within three-block radius of our building and know the people who will answer.

we luv our neighbors. and we all (appx 18 of us) hang out together a lot-some every weekend! kids, no kids, young, old, day, night-cocktails, no cocktails (ok, always cocktails)... it doesnt matter- we're VERY close, and we all appreciate the fact that what we have is probably pretty rare, especially being that we are downtown. I wouldnt trade it for the world.

Not only do I know my neighbors, but my 80+ year old neighbor just edged both sides of my sidewalk. He is in competition for best neighbor ever. And I feel like a lazy ass... where are those donuts?

I just moved into my neighborhood and I know the names of everyone who closed the same week as me (new construction) and there are two neighbors whose doors I would not hesitate to knock on if I needed something or just to say hi. It's a small neighborhood (I believe around 66 homes once it's completed) and everyone I've encountered seems friendly and says hi. I think people are just way busier these days than they used to be. I barely have time for everything I do and the people I already know. lol

I grew up in Europe and I do believe that neighbourhoods are, unfortunately, a thing of the past. When I was a kid, we would swap pastry with 2 neighbours across the street. Basically, whenever they baked they brought a plate with some samples and we did the same. Let me tell you, there is nothing tastier that a pastry fresh from the oven, especially when it comes as a surpise, unexpected!

I am on very good terms with the neighbours on each side. On one side, I have a retired couple, very nice, I could not have asked for better neighbours. I met them 2 days after I took possession of my house because I had to go over and introduce myself. I needed to fence my property (because of my dogs) and there was a hedge on what looked like the property line. The neighbours were so nice that they said not to worry and run the fence a few inches into their territory (uneven terrain, a little bit of retaining wall, it is kinda hard to explain so I am skipping that). They said why should we worry about a few inches?
Wow - not everybody would have done that.

The neighbour on my other side is not who owned the house when I moved into mine, he moved in about 3 years ago. He is divorced, has 2 dogs (a big plus in my eyeys) and is a plumber. What more can I wish for? :-)

I also know a few other neighbours in the houses close to mine (just enough to exchange a few friendly words about the weather, etc., nothing personal) but some people (e.g. people in 2 houses straight across the street) never even say hello when I out in the street.

We know more since we moved from a house to an apartment community. We are introverts, but have become familiar with a few.

I've been in my building about 1 1/2 years and know the couple across the hall, but that's about it. And it definitely helps that they have a (very cute) baby. Babies and dogs break the ice beautifully. My parents are friendly with their neighbors and know just about everyone in their surrounding area. Of course, they've lived in their house since 1971.

my neighbors are amazing.

i talk almost every day to one on one saide of me, adn the 2 on the other side of me. and we chat with the ones directly across the street from us.

it takes no effort to be a nice friendly person.

heck even a smile and hello is hard to come by with some ppl these days.

My husband got to know the neighbors better after we got dogs that need a daily walk. He's gotten many compliments on our dogs. Kids may pet them with their parent's permission. Neighbors love that our dogs are leashed on walks and that my husband cleans up after our dogs. Even though both things are required by local law, maybe two in a hundred dog walkers do them.

My street is VERY friendly, and there are lots of kids who play outside a lot. I've gotten friendly with several of the kids who help walk our dogs sometimes and sell me cookies, as well as their parents.

The lady who owns the corner store knows us by name and always chats with us.

The Cuban guy across the street always goes out of his way to wave and smile at us... he also invites our friends to park in front of his house when we have a party.

The ladies on our right are never to be seen, so I'm not sure.

The guy on our left we see all the time. He responds if we say hi first, but I don't think he likes to be bothered.

I know and see my neighbors every day. I live in Oak park, IL

I live in Paris and know all of my neighbors in the building (11 apartments). One of the things I love about living in Paris is the small neighborhood feel. The timing of this post is appropriate, as today, May 27th, is the celebration of neighbors:
http://www.immeublesenfete.com/index.php4?coe_i_id=41

@bepsf: Yay for you! I'm an even bigger fan of yours now.

I know the names of the neighbours on either side, the one across the hall and the one above me as well as the guy who cleans our building, the property manager and security guards. I say hi to everyone in the hall and will say hi if I pass them on the street but I might not necessarily know their names. My building tries to do get-together BBQs to get to know one another but they're unfortunately frequented by older people and can be quite awkward considering a lot of the people in my building have mistaken me for being the cleaning lady in not-so-polite ways. (I've actually had a guy yell at me why his toilet wasn't working when I was bringing my trash to the recycling room. The cleaning staff is only responsible for the common areas, not in units.)

I always say hello and ask how they are (and have even left them cookies on some holidays), but frequently only get a small hi back. If we pass on the street somewhere and not in our hallway, they won't even look at me.

BUT, if I start up a conversation with them in the back yard, they're totally friendly.

This holds true for many neighbors over the years. I think people increasingly have difficulty coming out of their thoughts and making some small talk with an acquaintance for a random meeting, but if they're relaxed and hanging out where they can expect such random meetings (our shared yard), they're suddenly much more receptive to chatting.

As someone mentioned above - I think front porches and sidewalks make all the difference in the world when we're talking about houses and neighbors. I live in a bungalow-type neighborhood in the South and I know the neighbors on either side fairly well even though we've only lived here a year. As someone else said - kids help. My kids in particular are very friendly and actually know more about the neighbors than I do!

I am not a terribly social person but as a single mom of young-ish kids I really value having neighbors who know us, have a sense of our comings and goings and might be able to pick up if something is wrong.

I live in an old neighborhood near downtown Knoxville, Tenn., and know just about all my neighbors -- and I've only lived in my house for a year. I moved there in part because I knew it would be that kind of community.

We have had some bad experiences with neighbors who were rude and disrespectful. I think if we had known them before the problems started happening, they would have been easier to deal with. Unfortunately, they moved into their house the same time we did, and the problems promptly started. We have since moved (not because of them) and have enjoyed getting to know the friendly, polite, considerate neighbors in our complex. It's so much easier for us to be OK with little issues when we know the people.

We know our neighbors next to us and across the street - it definitely helps because they will watch our house if we're gone as well as being able to borrow lawn equipment or the proverbial cup of sugar...

Right now there are a bunch of empty houses on our block, though, and we can't wait until they are sold (most likely have to go through foreclosure first...) and we can have new neighbors to get to know.

I know several of the families in my neighborhood well enough to chat with. With one exception, they all seem to be nice people.

One of my next-door neighbors is the best neighbor one could ask for. He likes to chat over the back fence one in awhile but he is never intrusive. He keeps his house and yard immaculate. As we both live alone (at least most of the time), we have exchanged emergency contact information. He even said he likes to hear my dogs bark once in awhile.

The neighbor on the other side is the neighbor from hell. When I bought my house, it was owned by his 90-something grandmother, who was charming and friendly. When she died several years ago, the house was inherited by her son and her daughter. They allowed the daughter's punk son to move in and the neighborhood has not been the same. He and his children, who seem to show up intermittently, literally throw garbage in their driveway and yard. He has four old, unworking cars and trucks parked in the driveway; the bed of one of the trucks has been filled for months with an old toilet, mattress, and other assorted junk. He has the loudest voice I've ever heard and he is constantly yelling horrible things to his girlfriend and his and her children. (How he got a girlfriend is beyond me.) He doesn't work but apparently doesn't have the time to clean up his yard. The latest was that when I arrived home from work last Friday, he was outside with a full-grown pit bull he had adopted that day. I'm sorry to say that even though I'm a dog lover, I'm afraid of pit bulls. Because he has a mean streak, he is the last person who should own a dog that has any tendencies toward aggression. To make it worse, his backyard is not fenced on one side nor does it have gates so I imagine he will tie the dog up in the yard for hours at a time. Had he been there when I was looking for a house to buy, I wouldn't have bought my house, even though I love it.

And there apparently is nothing I can do about it except hope that he gets arrested for something and sent to prison. I feel ashamed to express such a wish as I'm generally a friendly and compassionate person. But I've had it with him.

I actually do know all of my neighbors, at least on my block. We sit on each other's porches, watch each other's kids, go to parties and yes I have personally borrowed a cup of sugar! It's kind of wonderful!

I live in a nine-story building of about 200 units. I know everyone in "my corridor" pretty well, and when I've been ill or not home much, someone always slips a note under the door to make sure I'm all right. The whole corridor shares magazines, newspapers, and dinner-party leftovers.

I can greet about 30 other tenants by name, and we can at least ask each other questions about pets or children (by name) or rooftop gardens (by flower). That said, the building is for people in the arts, so a certain esprit-de-corps bonds us together.

Outside the building, I have a "hi, how are you" relationship with a lot of shopkeepers. As I'm right downtown, they're a big part of the area from 9 to 5.

I live in a 10 unit condo built in 1925 in Boston. I have met most of my neighbors primarily because the building has had some leakage problems for years and the owners have had to work together on figuring out a solution (some have leaking in their units as well which sounds dreadful). Because some big common charges are likely coming our way they reached out to me to join the discussion. So far the group seems very on the ball as well as aligned around process and priorities. It's been an interesting experience to work with them and get to know them (a little bit; I don't interact with any of them except around our leakage problem).

Yes! Many of them - all wonderful people. If we ever thought about moving, the people we know in our neighbourhood would likely be the strongest argument for staying - they would be impossible to replace!

I'm the new tenant in a five-apartment building, so I've been trying to introduce myself to the people in my building. The ones younger than me (I'm 39; they're probably the adult children of other tenants) seem resistant, but I the real grown-ups aren't bad.

They do tell me weird stories, though. Yesterday, the laundry room, Carol from Apt 1 told me that she and other tenants used to use my basement apartment (which was left unlocked when vacant) as a tornado shelter when the weather got bad!

One day, our buildings senior resident, Al from Apt 2, gave me the rundown of all the tenants who've died in the building since he moved in. Apparently, the previous tenant of my apartment hanged himself in the kitchen. No wonder my rent is so low!

Our family has lived in this town home development for over 2 years. Have we talked to our neighbors? Sure! But do we really know them? No. I have on occasion tried to get to know my neighbors. For example, my neighbor came over with her son (2 years older than mine) to sell popcorn for his Boy Scout troop. We talked for a good bit and I filled out the form to purchase some. She did not take my money then and said to wait until it came in. Well, guess what. She never came back. I am totally at a loss. I still see her and their family. We say our hellos but don't you think it is strange she never brought over the item? I have no idea what to say. I have talked to other neighbors but again we don't really know them as in we could ask them to bring in our trash can or paper while we are on vacation.

I love my neighbors! Our complex is open with a courtyard and a pool next to the parking lot. We all (about 8-12 depending on the day) drink wine together, swim, have eachother over for dinners... we have this thing called "totally neighbor tuesdays" in which things can get kind of crazy(everyone gets drunk). Were currently planning a progressive dinner party with a cocktail/appetizer at each tenants apt. Super excited!

Growing up in Europe I always knew my neighbors and despite my dad's tendency to be asocial, my mother had the good sense to embrace and return our neighbors' kindness and delicious German pastries.

Currently, I know my neighbors mostly by their dogs, despite not actually have one myself.

When I visit my parents in the gated community where they live it's a totally different thing. Everyone knows everyone and they are all very friendly, have get togethers and even meet ups for doggy play dates and such.

I'm looking forward to living in such a community when i'm older. It's a blast.

I've lived in my street for 5 years now. I don't know everyone by name, but enough to have a little chat if we see each other outside. Everyone looks out for everyone though. So much so, that most of the time I do not even lock my front door.

My immediate neighbours on either side I know by name and have been to their parties.

I have never felt an inclination to be social with random people, so I've been very surprised that I've developed nice relationships with my neighbors. I know 3 out of the 4 families immediately surrounding my house. Came home today to find one neighbor had trimmed my hedges and cleaned my gutters (in trade he gets to use my hose and water supply to water his garden this summer). There is one family that everyone else thinks is unfriendly, but the mom surprised me last weekend when she came over to give me some extra tulip bulbs! It's nice!

We know all of our neighbours - and we love it!

I live in the same street since I was born, I'm 34 now and I know almost everyone living on the street, including some friend's relatives, and many more near the neighborhood I live in the outskirts of a Brazilian city we only have houses in this region, no apartment, there is a high mobility of families.

After Hurricane Ike left our street (and much of the greater SE Texas area) without power for 10 days, everyone noted how cool it was to see people riding bikes, walking with their families, sitting outside with drinks and chatting it up with neighbors. It made everyone smile in spite of the heat and downed trees. Granted, there were no serious injuries or deaths in my area.

But, when the power came back on (and with it, the AC), we all disappeared back into our caves. My family included. Kind of sad.

On the whole, though, we try to talk to our neighbors a lot. Some people are friendly immediately. Others take a bit to warm up, with repeated little kindnesses exchanged. Those who truly want to be left alone, we leave alone. But at least they know we're friendly.

@mefitia - I learned to be friendly in a small town! They aren't necessarily a myth. :)

Fifteen years ago I moved to Phoenix, to a good sized apartment complex. I knocked on the doors of all my immediate neighbors and introduced myself and my son, and asked them to please let us know if we made too much noise, and asked if anyone was a day sleeper. A good number of the people there had kids around my son's age so I got to know the parents - we'd all end up at the pool together, or one of us would take a bunch of the kids if the parent(s) were busy.

When I moved to a smaller complex in California, we again got to know pretty much everyone, and we all looked out for each other - as well as borrowing the occasional egg or cup of milk.

I'm now back in Arizona, in a smaller town to take care of my mom (heart disease and now Alzheimer's) and although several of the neighbors will say hello or chat a bit if I'm out doing yardwork, caring for my mom and her house is more than a full time job. I'm just too tired to care much about making friends, sad to say.

I live in a townhouse and we know our neighbors well--as in, sharing lawn equipment, borrowing kitchen implements, swapping treats, having dinner together, etc. I thought this was a natural consequence of living in an area with lots of families, but it sounds like some of you guys have less friendly neighbors! For people like me, whose extended family is half a continent away, a good neighborhood is essential. It takes a village!

I have no choice but to live in a gated community at the moment and I have absolutely no desire to know these people. Though the retired couple next door are nice, they brought pumpkin bread when we moved in and have offered us some blood oranges from their trees, but I'd never socialize with them.

I know my neighbors to a point... We don't hang out (I'm at least 10-20 years younger than the ones directly next to me), but we chat whenever we catch each other out in the yard.

My street, being old starter homes in the burbs, is filled with mostly families and a lot of empty nester couples; I'm the odd one being single and young.

We live in a settlement and in the almost 5 years here we have met many. It wasn't difficult. As you meet one you meet the neighbour they know and so it grows. It is good. Some we meet and don't care to socialize with but we know their names and such. Currently we have neighbours two doors down that just left on their honeymoon for a month...we are taking in their mail and watering their garden. Last year another neighbour went across country in their RV and we checked their house and picked up their mail. My new book club has more than half of its members within walking distance...good way to enjoy a glass of wine and walk home without concern.

Our favourite neighbours moved away...that was sad for us...they were us but 20 years older...their daughter and the daughter's husband moved in...not the kind of folks we would associate with at all..sad really because they are 7-10 years older than us. We have zero in common.

Oh, AT, please, please introduce threaded comments for continuity. And you know, to encourage community and whatnot.

We know our side neighbors, only. Not well enough to be invited to their dinner parties, however (though god knows we've tried). We've lived here 10 years.

@embryoconcepts: Agreed!

As @nikkirmz and others have noted, children and dogs are the best ice-breakers. @pamh is right about porches and gardens too.

We live in Madison, Wis. (pop. 233K+) on a small street with a dozen houses. We knew a couple people by name thanks to our dog but folks really got friendly once I started gardening in the front of our house--while heavily pregnant. Neighbors shared plants and conversation. Once the baby came, neighbors offered lasagnas and excellent parenting advice. Now one of the neighborhood teens is our baby sitter. Although we don't socialize with our neighbors, I like them very much and love that we look out for each other. And yes, I have literally gone next door to borrow oregano and flour!

@Rhonda N. I know what you mean! I lived in a neighborhood once where the power was off for THREE weeks in the middle of a heat wave. It was too miserable to be inside, so when someone would walk out to check their mail, literally, the entire street would go outside to talk to them!

Without TV and internet to entertain, it felt like a different era. When I practiced my piano, people would come over for the entertainment! Just to hear me practice! Once the power came back, though, it was just as you said. Everyone went back to their isolated caves.

I have lived in my apt for 16 years and know folks in my 18 unit building but the man next door to me I have never met. He works weird hours, coming home very late and leaving his apt every morning before 6. And I do know some of my neighbors down the block as well as the merchants. Hello and good morning escape my mouth very easily.

Everyone ought to read the book, Refrigerator Rights: Our Crucial Need for Close Connection
http://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Rights-Crucial-Close-Connection/dp/074419590X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1306600993&sr=8-3

The book is a life-changing read!

I not only know my neighbors, I'm in a babysitting co-op with many of them them, we regularly have dinner at each others' places, we exchange plants for our gardens, we pick up stuff at the store for each other. It's great. Astoria, Queens.

We also live in a small university town and I love the community that fosters. We know probably 2/3 of the people within a six or seven block radius. That means that when I stop at the pharmacy for something the cashier asks about my brother who she knows is soon to visit from out of town, and when I get a cup of coffee at the shop next door I can count on catching up on the latest baby born, wedding coming up or have a chat about the book I'm reading. I LOVE it and would never ever ever move.

I know my immediate neighbors (on either side) enough to wave to or ask for help in a pinch; one side only speaks Spanish, though, and the other is...creepy.

Most of the time I'm happy with my level of social; what I really wish for isn't to "get to know my neighbors" but rather to get some of my friends living near me. I've got a tribe...we're just all spread out.

Yup, great topic especially in light of the last post about it - I complained about many things and I admit I know most of my neighbors only from complaining or calling the cops on them. I have lived here over 15 years and still don't know most of their names - but the folks on either sides of us, I do know their names, their kids and grandkid's names, have visited and helped each other often. 10 years ago I knew more of the neighbors but as crime rose most of the regular folks rented their houses and got the heck out of here. I can't blame them, we're planning to do the same thing. Next time, I'll introduce myself to everyone and hope that it makes a difference.

I live in a ridiculously small town and I know all my neighbors, to some degree or another. I could probably borrow a cup of sugar from any of them, but I certainly wouldn't want to. I like the ones I like and don't mind if their grass gets long and, as for the one I don't, I'm tempted to turn her in whenever her lawn needs mowing. I won't, but I'd love to! Many days I long for the anonymity of a city or the privacy of a farm.

I don't socialize with my neighbors, but I know at least a few of them. We live in an apartment building, and will chat with the woman next door. If I ran into a major problem, I would feel comfortable knocking on her door for help. Everyone in our building is pleasant and will say hi or chat a little in the laundry room, but we're not extremely social.

Oddly enough, our fire alarm went off a few months back and we stood outside in the cold with several other residents. It at least got us all chatting!

neighbors can be a blessing and a curse. we're lucky--our close neighbors are the sweetest. in fact we'll be vacationing together this summer; however, other neighbors have been horrible. one kept parking her car in such a way that it prevented other cars from leaving the lot. when asked to move it, she'd rant how she was a dr. and tired of having to do such petty things. another did vindictive things to your car whenever you'd complain about them.

I live in a small town in a loft above a office/business. For the first two years, I knew both my neighbors. I'd leave the hall door unlocked most of the time (downstairs entry is locked) & it was almost like a dorm or a shared house atmosphere. I'd check on the dogs during the day, &/or when they'd be late getting home. They'd check on my cat & feed him. Great neighbors!!

Then one got a job in another town & the other bought a house in town. I still see & visit with the one in town.

But it got quiet. It was quiet before, but this was silence except for some light street noise.

Then new neighbors moved across the hall. Supposedly a mother & son, but they have enough visitors (day & night) to make a person wonder what is really happening in there! and the NOISE!! I feel sorry for the business beneath them. I tried at first to be a nice neighbor but I got concerned by the traffic & some questionable events. I keep my distance. Pure self-preservation.

The hallway door is always locked now. And I don't go visiting any more.... really sad. Kinda lonely too, but you have to keep yourself safe.

I live in Germany in a three-floor building with 6 tenants. We know them all. Our last names are on signs on the doorbell, so there's no being anonymous here anyway. When I still lived in Canada I had no real clue who my neighbours were. It took me a long time to get used to warming up to my neighbours here, but now I like it so much that I'd miss that community feeling if I didn't have it. Great post btw.

We've been in our house 5 months and know our neighbors on both sides quite well. We help each other with yard work and heavy lifting and when one person bakes, you know everyone is going to get some of it! We live in a very small town, but the sense of community is why we chose it.

yes i LOVE my neighbors. we live in a small building and everyone is between 25 and 35. we barbecue, hang out, look out for each other... most of us are musical, so we have sing alongs lots of nights. not lame. cool.

i'm pretty sure it's a vortex of the universe or something, but i love them.

Of course i do know my neighbours !
Here in Switzerland, cities encourage people to organize once a year a neighbours-meet-up. The townhall provides posters, invitation cards, t-shirts, placemats, balloons, and tables and benches if desired. The date is fixed ( btw it's tomorrow, 31st of may) by the city.
So, in my house (16 apartments) we do every year a barbecue in the backyard, everybody provides some food and drinks and it has so far always been a very much appreciated evening with lots of fun and laughter. And too much food. Especially the elderly people in my house love it!
And this once-a-year event has created a good feeling in the house, we will have a small chat when we meet in the staircase, help out with food and pet-sitting. If problems occur among neighbours we can talk about them without agressivity and solve them.
I think it's important to know one's neighbours.

I know just about everyone on my block. My family has traveled with my neighbors, picked up each other's kids from school, gave rides to the airport, swam in their pool when they weren't even home, block parties, taught me to drive. My neighbors are my family.

We are really close with our neighbors. We cat sit and house sit for each other, do potlucks several times a year, and are good friends. Having lived in a neighborhood where we not only didn't know our neighbors but I was actually stalked by the guy on one side of us during a year when my husband and I were living apart due to a set of job moves, I am so appreciative of having neighbors I can trust and count on. It is one more reason why we live where we live.

We moved in to a modest LA suburb 11 years ago. I know a lot of people in our neighborhood mostly from walking the dogs every morning. It is a very friendly neighborhood. The block that runs behind ours has a few block parties a year and another block is going to start one. Feeling a sense of community would make it harder to move if the opportunity arose for us.

We own a two-family and are closest with our tenants downstairs, who are about the same age as us. We invite each other to parties. We're also friendly with our across-the-street neighbor who often hangs out on her steps to smoke. We were glad for her for the period of time that she quit, but then we never saw her! There's the other across-the-street neighbor and his toddler daughter, and the neighbors with the amazing garden who are always working on it, and our next door neighbor who was actually born in our house and is thrilled that we're finally making it nice again (our house is the definition of "fixer-upper") and loans us tools all the time. I wish we knew our neighbors on the other side enough to be invited over for dinner. They're Nepalese and we can smell the curry from our driveway. Smells delicious! The comment above about sidewalks and no cars is so true. While many people in our urban neighborhood do have cars, very few have garages or even driveways - just on-street parking. I'd like to know more neighbors on the block - maybe we'll do the flyer thing to invite them all to our next barbecue.

Our cul-de-sac is really friendly and open and I love it. I've had summer days when I have spoken to about 60% of the people just by being around and about my garden. While we're renovating we have moved out, and I really miss it! When we go to check on the house we always chat to someone or other about it.

Two houses sold recently, and I'm so pleased that the new neighbours are both friendly and chatty so hopefully the feeling will continue.

I have 25 years experience of living next to drunks... Drug addicts and trashy people and I have had things stolen and broken... Boundaries over stepped and worse. I don't trust most people with good reason.
I have no desire to continue that. Since I have kept to myself and those I live and trust... I have no more drama or issues... I will say hello if someone says hello first but I keep walking!