When I go out to dinner with friends, or with the wife, I rarely take my cell phone with me. If I do, it's usually off as a sign of respect. There's nothing more annoying than having someone over and their phone keeps ringing or vibrating away. What is the proper etiquette when it comes to smartphones and friends?
There's only a few professions that involve being reachable at all times. Most of us can do without being connected for a few hours. Nowadays, with texting and smartphones, it's not uncommon to see your teenager texting away blindingly fast while he's eating dinner with the family. What are the rules in your house?
In our house, we switch off all cell phones when we eat together. They mostly stay off during the evening as well, as past a certain hour, we don't want to be disturbed. Many people have come to realize that instead of freeing them, smartphones can become a sort of electronic leash. In William Gibson's Zero History, one of his characters has got a Faraday Pouch, a pouch which cuts off any electronic signals from things that are inserted into it. The My Phone Is Off phenomenon is similar, yet not as effective. We are used to having our phones on at all times and being able to check email, Google something, or check out the web at a moment's notice when we need to.
What about when you go to a friend's house? It all depends on how old you are and what you do with your phone. For example, if you're going over to a friend's house before going out to a club or bar, it's natural to have your phone on, as you probably want to be reached by other friends, who might be joining you at some point. But what if you are going for dinner at a friend's house, to watch a movie, or play some games? It can be seen as being rude if you're constantly on the phone while you're at your friend's place. It also disconnects you from what is happening in reality. Answering your phone or texting once or twice is not really a problem. It becomes a problem if you can't let go of it.
When we go out to dinner, cell phones are off. Interrupting a dinner with a call or text is a faux pas, no matter what your age, unless you're a teenager. Even then, most families have rules about this as well. Even with phones on vibrate, everyone can hear them. I've actually been able to wake up using a vibrating alarm.
If in any of these situations, you do get a call that's important, it's usually common courtesy to excuse yourself, and go into another room or outside to answer your phone. I find this classy and I've had to do this in the past when talking to clients at all hours of the day while I was away from work.
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I put texts on silent, and phone calls of vibrate. Some calls are very important, and the ones that are not, get the ignore button pressed on the to stop the irratating vibrating
Depends on who I'm with and who's trying to get ahold of me.
I put the phone on vibrate, so if there's an emergency, people can still get a hold of me and, if it's not important, I can ignore it and go on with my dinner.
@matt- totally agree. I dont answer the phone unless its an emergency or I am expecting the call in which case I will inform my dining companions and keep any calls as brief as possible. I keep it on vibrate.
Texting... well, I'm just an addict so I try to keep that to the same rules. I might read it, but if it cannot be answered with a quick one liner, its gotta wait.
With certain family however, it stays in the other room and I check it when we are done or on the way to the restroom. I can't stand when my mother picks up the phone at dinner. She does NOT know how to keep the conversation short and virtually impossible for her to say "I'll call you back". Or when you are in the car... Why dont you just sit in back since I am obviously your driver for the day. Annoying!
Phone is on vibrate, I pretty much ignore calls and might sneak a peek at the texts if I am expecting something, or I keep getting them, otherwise I ignore it.
I am occasionally semi-on call for work (I work from home often so on those days work and home time can mix) so I know if I am getting like, 3 text/email alerts in succession I need to check what is up. Otherwise I can ignore it.
On the rare call I feel the need to take at a meal/friend time I let the caller know I am engaged, they need to be brief, and that I can't just chat. I have some very, very bored, chatty friends who have a lot of free time so laying out pre chat rules is important for my sanity.
I'm probably going to be showing my age here, but the cell phone stays on. I don't have a lot of chatty phone friends (everyone I know prefers email or text for conversations) so if someone is actually calling me, it's an important or time-sensitive matter.
As long as you're apologetic about quickly checking, you keep it short as possible, and you excuse yourself if the matter is going to take more than a few seconds, I would say it's fine.
My rule is no texting or email (unless we're trying to meet someone else, of course) and no web surfing.
My husband has a bad habit of web surfing when we're out at dinner, which drives me slightly crazy! That's a lot worse than answering an incoming call.
My phone is always on vibrate when I'm at dinner, whether it's at home or somewhere else. I don't want to be rude and my calls and texts can wait.
If I'm just out with friends I'll keep my ringer on usually, as I don't always feel my phone vibrate. Nobody minds if you do a quick text or two, but if someone start having an in depth conversation then we get annoyed and we will tell each other to put the phone away.
When I spend a day with my girlfriend it's usually left on ringer if we're out and about and I'll respond to messages fairly quickly, as will she. But again, no long conversations.
At any point, if someone is calling me it's usually a time sensitive thing or important. I keep my calls brief and don't talk for hours.
I know all of this might sound strange coming from a 17 year old who uses his phone a lot, but if I'm with others I hate being rude with my phone. I just wish others felt the same way and kept theirs away.
Let's see, wait for a potential phone call or spend time with this stunning girl ...
I see a phone as a tool for my convenience. I don't have a cell phone because I am with the person(s) I am not someone not present. At home I don't answer the phone if we have company and definitely don't jump to answer the phone when it is meal time. Also...don't call anyone after 10pm (their time) and don't accept incoming calls after 10pm either.
If we are watching a DVD or a TV program or want a quiet night after a full day...the ringer of the phone is turned off until the next day.
I have been with people who are tied to their phones ...and I find it offensive to be put on ignore.
I personally shut the phone/turn it to vibrate when I am with my friends. I don't even look at text messages because I can look at them later. Text messages are not emergencies for me at any rate. Voicemails can pick up the rest.
A very annoying thing occurred to me as I was teaching a CPR class. As I was walking around making sure the students had the correct technique this one guy was doing compressions with one hand while texting with the other hand! Needless to say he lost his phone until the next break time and suffered ridicule from his classmates.
Only one person has my phone number. I am just not a phone person.
my phone is almost always on vibrate only. I would say 90% of the time.
I would never turn it off and I would never expect anyone else to do that for me. I don't think its rude for them to respond to a text but I would do the same thing. I like to think that I'm a fun enough person that people forget to check their phone messages. I do all the time when I am with friends. Plus, if you are out with one person and someone else asks one of you "what's going on, let's do something," we would tell that person to come meet us. Not possible if your phone is off.
My cell is on vibrate all the time. I use mine only when I HAVE to talk to someone at that time.
My cell is almost always on vibrate except when I'm home by myself. Really the only person who ever calls me is my mother (all friends tend to text instead), and she is also the only person whose calls I would ever really answer if I'm with someone. I think it's incredibly rude to make or answer a phone call when you're with someone if it's not family/work-related or directly related to making plans that involve the person you're with. I'm sorry, but can't you wait until we're at least done hanging out before you make your plans for later tonight with someone else? It makes me feel like a placeholder instead of someone you genuinely want to be around. And personally, same goes with texts. I try to leave my phone in my bag and away from where I can feel it vibrate so I'm not tempted to read/answer texts when I'm with someone, and I do feel offended when someone is constantly reading/writing texts while we're together. I feel like it's saying that you're not really invested in the time you're spending with the real, live person in front of you.
I think I'm just irritated now with smartphones in general. I hate that I feel addicted to my iPhone, but I really can't stand what this constant connection to technology is doing to my generation and younger. Cell phones need to be off and away during classes. Cell phones need to be off and away at work. It's infuriating.
Straight ditch the cell-phone plan and stick to land line or e-mails. Makes your life easy for all occasions. Best part you can save $1,200 for that year!