Writing thank-you notes was a chore until I found the late Leslie Harpold's Howto Write a Thank-You Note guide. It's the perfect formula for packing maximum sentiment into the tiny space of a thank-you card.

@Monica Woods -That link is perfect! Thanks for sharing!

I would love to send email thank yous, but many of the people on my list don't use the internet. Alas!

it's kind of amaing how few people send thank you notes by mail. last time i sent out a batch, i got thank you's back (granted via email) to thank me for sending a note. bonkers!

hand written notes are a sign of civility...

I can't believe some people think sending someone a thank you note for a gift is passé!

Whenever is it not appropriate or fashionable to thank someone for such a gesture?

I always send a handwritten note to show my appreciation.

I always write a thank you note before I cash the check, redeem the gift card, enjoy the item, etc. That way I guarantee I'm prompt and that I won't forget.

I rarely exchange gifts with people except in person, and in my family it is entirely acceptable to show your gratitude in person as well. The idea of thanking a person repeatedly seems rather over much.

Really? I don't know ANYBODY who sends thank you cards (except for wedding gifts). I've certainly never received one, written one, heard of anyone receiving one or seen anybody write one.

I always express my sentiments of gratitude in person. Is this not enough?

I'm with the last two posters. I've only heard of thank you notes for something large such as a wedding or if you've been invited to stay in someone else's house. I guess some of us come from families in which a verbal thank you and a large hug suffices. The people I know would find it awkward to receive a thank you note and probably slightly offended.

@Monica Woods, thanks for an awesome link! I am one who hates, hates, HATES to write thank-you notes (although I am genuinely grateful). Maybe this will help. I will typically do anything to get out of writing thank-you notes, including buying a lavish gift in leau of a note, but usually just never get the thank-yous done. I wish our culture would come up with a more user-friendly custom than thank-you notes, I really do!

Along those lines, anyone else have thank-you note alternatives to try? Every thank-you note I've ever received always seemed so blah and impersonal, I'd just as soon not receive them, too; a heartfelt verbal thanks would warm my heart & save you the trouble of coming up w/ something to write :p

Even though I don't really receive many thank you notes, but I always send them. I've yet to have someone tell me they didn't appreciate the gesture, even if I already thanked them in person. I routinely follow the pattern shown in the link provided by Monica Woods.

Regardless of whether you send them normally, I strongly recommend you send them to your grandparents for gifts. My grandmother is keenly aware of who sends her a thank you note.

What about homemade pecan pralines, w/ a simple, "thank you for the gift" plastered across it? Probably not for a Christmas gift, but for some other gift or occasion?

Now I have to make the pralines, but at least it seems more genuine and personal, and I don't have the torture of writing a card.

Chrisgal, they'd be offended? I don't understand. It might be unusual to them, but I don't see what the offence would be...

I rarely receive thank you notes, but I make it a priority to send them, particularly after receiving a gift from someone. I actually enjoy writing thank you notes, if I know the person well. I made two out of three bridesmaids at my wedding cry when they read my thank you cards to them... Sometimes it's easier to express yourself in writing.

The more tricky ones are for people that send me a small Christmas gift each year, but that I rarely see - it's difficult to make a thank you card personal when I barely know my great aunt, you know?

The offense would be that I didn't feel comfortably enough to just thank them in person. The formality of a thank you note would make them think I don't think of them as they thought...as laid back casual people who are caring and loving.

Let's put it this way: no one is ever going to get angry at receiving a thank-you note (unless there is some weird passive-aggressive story going on behind the scenes), but the reverse is not necessarily true. So the options are: a sure bet you'll make someone happy vs. you might make them angry. You decide.

Gift giving is at a minimum in my family and non-existent outside of it so the need to send a thank you is rare. And I really don't like the idea of wasting paper and spending fossil fuels to deliver it when an email or a phone call will do just as nicely. While I understand the idea that a written note might be unique and special, I think the time has come to move beyond the use of natural resources for something that can be done in a more ecologically conservative format.

ABSOLUTELY!

Let me say it again. ABSOLUTELY!

I grew up always writing thank you notes for Christmas & birthday gifts, no exceptions. I have continued the tradition into my adulthood and now people often tell me how nice it is to receive a note. I'm with home body on this one - no one is ever going to get angry at receiving a thank-you note, so why not send a little happiness and gratitude their way?

I have to admit, while I make my kids write them for each gift, I'm rather lax about it myself.

Really liked the link in the 1st comment.

I do agree with one commenter who could think of some who would be offended - my grandma-in-law seems agitated whenever I thank her more than once in person, so I can't imagine what a hand-written note would do to her. I think she sees "thank-yous" as something owed to people who aren't family, because family is supposed to do nice things for each other.

I don't agree; but I thank almost involuntarily. Sometimes when someone hugs me I say "thank you" for the hug!

Handwritten notes are my downfall, though, which is terrible for those family members that live far away; I don't know if they realize how grateful I am. This year I want to do better. New Year's resolutions already! :-)

I'm with the few above commenters. My family never sent thank yous to family members we exchanged gifts with in person (other than wedding/showers - which somehow still require additional TYs). I think we did mail cards out to those who mailed gifts to let them know we received the gift, in addition to being able to thank them.

I'm a pen and paper girl, but that's because mail is so special these days. A lot of us have stopped giving gifts (lots of grad students in my circle) so sharing a meal and sending a note is it.

The thing I HATE, though- when someone fakes a note. I get thank-you notes from a two year old niece- "Thank you for the book. I read it a million times!" which is obviously in her mom's handwriting. I'd much prefer mom drop the pretense or at least have the child make a mark to sign.

I have horrible handwriting, so I feel uncomfortable sending people thank you notes in my own handwriting. When I need to send handwritten note, I use handwritten thank you note services like ThankThank Notes or That's Gratitude to send notes for me.

I always send thank you notes. Always. In fact, the last three jobs I've had said that one thing that set me apart from the other candidates was the handwritten "thank you for the interview" card they received in the mail.
I send thank you notes for gifts, for dinners, for thoughtful gestures. I rarely get thank you notes in the mail, but when I do - they brighten my day.

I send thank you notes for things I truly am gratifide by. That would include interviews, shower gifts, sponsorship of my cotillion when I was 16, sound advice in a difficult time, other things that truly mark defining moments. All else gets either an in person or phoned "thank you". Perhaps making those kind of moment to moment distinctions is egocentric, but I'd rather be genuine. Words are very important to me, and when I take time to send a card or write a note it's no light matter. I also keep most thank you cards and birthday cards I receive, because I assume everyone makes the same effort to express themselves through that medium that I do.

Absolutely send cards!! do it!! (i'm a card shop hahaha

I really do sent out cards, I love writing to people. I may WANT to fist bump this season but I'm definitely sending out letters and cards.

A thoughtful thank you is one of the most basic of manners. I’m appalled by how rarely it’s done these days. People give their reasons, but I think it’s just plain laziness and/or self-centeredness.

Just because you send a thank you note doesn’t mean that you can’t ALSO say thank you in person. I just don’t get that excuse.

I’m shocked by the posters saying that they don’t send thank yous because it would hurt their image. It’s not cool or casual to not send a thank you. It’s definitely not warm. It’s rude.

peachyear - So you would rather waste resources to send a thank you note for everything? It's a waste of paper, which means killing trees. Each note has to be transported, equalling more natural resources being used. I think those who are sending thank you notes are actually more self centered than those who don't.

For those of you who don't send notes because you think no one cares about getting them or you have some warped view that you're saving the environment, most people notice your lack of manners although they might not mention it to you. While written notes are no longer expected, the ones that do get sent are almost always noticed and greatly appreciated.

My siblings and I wrote our Christmas thank you notes on the 26th - then they were out of the way and we could play with our loot!

Perhaps a rule of thumb would be that if someone has taken the time to wrap and/or mail a gift, you should take the time to at least write a quick postcard. We're not talking about a lengthy letter here:

"Dear Grandma, Thanks for the __________. I love that you remembered that I'm into ________, and I'll think of you whenever I use it. It was wonderful to see you. Love, ______"

@Monica Woods, I still miss Leslie's fantastic advent card. Can't believe she's been gone four years.

I'm going to use Brixton as a example - if I got basically a carbon copy thank you card, I'd find it worthless.