Ok, I dont know if its just my family, but we always take our shoes off in the house. However I never ask my friends to do that when they visit. usually they ask and I say it is ok. If they want to wear shoes with their outfit, then I assume they took the care not to make them all dirty

I'm not too bothered by shoes in the house. Muddy/snowy boots, yes, but other than that I couldn't care less. They're just shoes and sweeping isn't that difficult. I hate taking my shoes off in other people's homes, too (but will if they insist). TMI: I have really sweaty feet all the time, so trust me when I say it's best for everyone if my shoes stay on.

I take my shoes off in the house and change to slippers. Guests are welcome to do as they please.
Growing up in Russia (with it's muddy and snowy roads) everyone came with their own slippers/indoor shoes to change into and the hosts always had a bunch of extra slippers on hand just in case. We changed shoes in school too. There was never a question of keeping your shoes on, since they were probably way to warm for the indoors anyway. There are a couple of friends we visit who are shoes off houses, they usually keep a warmer floor or provide slippers. If I remember, I bring my own.

In the country where I live (Czech Republic) everyone goes shoes off indoor so it's a not an issue for me, fortunately :) In the country where I come from (Italy) it's more or less impolite to ask your guest to remove their shoes, often little squares of felts to put under your shoes are offered if outside the weather is bad (then one has to more or less skate instead of walk) but things are changing and the shoes off policy is getting more popular but I think most people behave like you do.

I hate being asked to remove my shoes because rarely do people keep their floors clean enough for me to feel comfortable without protection (maybe my friends are just really dirty?). Also, my feet are always cold, and if I'm not expecting to go shoeless, I end up grumpy with cold (and dirty) feet. If you absolutely require shoes off, you should either warn people ahead of time or provide slippers/socks for your guests.

I lived in Asia for a while and over there, the rule is shoes off in any Asian house. In mine, people did as they pleased - usually, because of the heat, it was mostly barefoot... Now that I am back in Europe, shoes off is definitely a no-no, whether every day or party day. And like PLCH said, it's kind of rude to ask your guests to take their shoes off when they come in...

I find the whole discussion about it being rude or not to be somewhat amusing. I'm in Canada, in one of the prairie provinces where it seems like we get more winter than summer, and it's basically a given that you take your shoes off in the house. In anyone's house. Even in the summer. Luckily, pretty much everyone I know takes their shoes off in their house, and just does it automatically in everyone else's home, too.

The whole bit about it being rude to ask someone to take their shoes off in your home seems to me to be completely misdirected. You're being invited into their lives to share in an event that they're hosting/cooking for/paying for/etc. You are entering THEIR world. Being determined to call them out for being rude for asking you to remove your shoes seems entirely ungrateful for what they are hosting. The excuses of their homes being too dirty or your shoes going with your outfit are actually just that - excuses. If you find most people's homes dirty, why do you not have some slippers that you take with you when going to someone else's home? If you're hung up on your outfit looking weird without the shoes, then pick a different outfit, or find funky socks to go with it. To be honest, most people won't think that the entire ensemble is thrown off just because you had to take your shoes off. If you're that offended by having to remove your shoes, then casually decline their next event, and if you want to be open about it, tell them why. To be honest, I'd politely tell people my rules of shoes off in the house, and if they insisted, let them know that they were welcome to leave. And they would NOT be getting an invitation to the next event.

Also, as a side note, the kinds of shoes that people wear to parties tend to be formal shoes with hard soles. Hardwood floors do actually get dented and damaged by them. When the solution (not wearing shoes) is easily achievable, why on earth would you wear them?

when I lived in NYC, the point of removing shoes (for those who enforced this rule, ie, not me) was all the icky germs you walk through all day, not just the obvious dirt/mud. Especially if you have a crawler/toddler who puts everything in his/her mouth and you'd rather it not be tainted with trace amounts of dog urine and someone's post-trivia night vomit, I'd totally respect the request. It would mean you (a) are super clean, (b) have a little one and (c) are planning a holiday party. two of the three of those would be a lot to expect of me. that said, if you are doing all of that, we are probably not going to be friends because you make me feel bad about my own life. also, while I'd respect the request, I'd hope for a heads up/slippers and I'd also wonder, why not have the party elsewhere?

I'm with auntieshoque on this one. Having grown up in northern Alberta, the idea that anyone wouldn't take off their shoes in someone's home is completely alien to me. If I were hosting a party, I wouldn't even mention shoes because it's such a widespread cultural norm that I don't anticipate that anyone will keep their shoes on.

Even in the summer when you don't have snow and mud to deal with, you're still tracking dust and dirt into someone's home, and marking their floors. When I'm going to a house party, I dress for the occasion. Something that is comfortable and looks good both standing up and sitting and something that does not require shoes to complete the look.

Shoes off for everyday, guests shoes that aren't wet/muddy are fine for parties, but wet and muddy shoes need to be left with the rest of the wet outerwear.

We have a really small entryway with shoe shelves on the wall, and since shoes off indoors is very common where I live, people see the shoe shelf and just take theirs off automatically. We set up a drying rack in the bathtub for dripping, soaked hats/coats/etc, and will often put a towel in the hall for really wet shoes. Most of our social gatherings are really informal, and nobody really wants to spend the entire night sitting around in cold, soaking wet sneakers.

I really think it depends on the house. Since I have "asian house rules", shoes in the house are a huge no-no for me. It has to do with expectations, culture, and psychology. However, I have been to houses where it is absolutely necessary to wear shoes because the "shoes-on-in-house" rules have rendered the floors completely dirty.

Regardless - you should always stick to what your comfortable with.

As a guest, I do what the host/hostess are doing. As a host, I tell guests to do what they are comfortable with. It baffles me that this is such an issue.

Most everyone I know wants to take off their shoes when they come in the house. I have to remind them that I don't have a 'rule', I just like to be barefoot. Shoes come off at your house whether you want it or not because 'I just like to be barefoot' And feet my and socks are washable.

the survey is glitchy. I didn't get to vote. So here is my cote: every day: shoes off. Party: for f**k sake shoes on. If I go to a party, I am wearing an outfit. shoes are part of my outfit. If you are throwing a party, you have to clean afterwards anyway. I am incredibly offended by those uptight germaphobes (sp) who make me take my shoes off in public. because yes, a party is to a certain degree "public".
And I am always barefoot at home, I don,t even own shoes to just wear at home..

or, just to mention: the only exception would be muddy shoes or high heels on hardwood. but you can always work around that.

It's absolutely rude to have a party, especially during the holidays, and not warn people in advance that they'll have to take their shoes off regardless of the weather. Presumably, I'd wear heals to such an occasion and really don't feel remotely comfortable walking around someone else's house with a whole boatload of strangers barefoot. The hosts may be spotless themselves, but think of all those other people who presumably weren't expecting to take their shoes off either and the crap they could be spreading around.

I think it's rude to ask your guests to take off their shoes, but I am a city dweller and don't have issues with people having super muddy shoes (there is always pavement to walk on). However, this being Seattle, one often arrives at someone's home with soaking wet feet and I always take off my shoes so as not to ruin their carpet or floors. I often carry slippers in my bag and put them on. People find this amusing, but this being Seattle, anything goes. I can't even remember being invited to someone's home where people were dressed up, honestly.

Shoes off. About 90 percent of shoes have fecal bacteria on the bottom after you wear them for three months. Here's an article that should totally freak anyone out that has a child that's at the age of putting everything they find in their mouths: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41514712/ns/health-mens_health/t/dirty-truth-bachelor-pads-have-times-more-germs/#.UK3EUmt5mK0

(besides, I've never had a party at my house that required an "outfit" -- I'm notorious for having super casual get togethers).

My partner is from Minnesota, and grew up in a shoes-off home. I'm from southern california, and while my family is more likely to take their shoes off now, as I was growing up, I don't remember ever being expected to take my shoes off. I think it was, in part, a weather thing, maybe different cultural norms, whatever.

In our home now, it's kind of a mix. When we come home, or are having a friend or two over for informal gatherings, shoes generally come off, and we have slippers to share. But when I'm dressing up, I tend to pick my shoes & then choose an outfit to match, and I really *hate* having to take my shoes off for formal events in people's homes. So for parties, our rule (especially if I answer the door), is that you are welcome to remove your shoes, but if they are an integral part of your outfit, by all means, show them off!

It's pretty normal, in our circles in Boston, to take shoes off in people's homes, so I don't think there is much grumbling, and I'd much rather take a bit more time to sweep and vacuum after a great party than have guests who felt uncomfortable.

(Guests have also been known to wear a pair from my collection, either just to change it up mid-party, or because theirs were muddy or wet, but they didn't want to go barefoot.)

I find this whole discussion a bit baffling. No one has ever worn shoes in my house because that would be ludicrous and horrible, not because I have some sort of personal rule about it. I have never ever had to Ask someone to take their shoes off, I don't even know what I would do in the case that someone did that, I suppose just try not to stare and hope they pick up on the awkward from everyone. Seriously, how is this in contention? I have a relatively large flat in a very densely packed city so I end up hosting a Lot - everything from massive all-night house parties full of friends-of-friends-of-friends to large formal meals to after-theatre cocktail parties. I've had little children and people's cousins from the interior and comically rude artists and fucked up junkies, but no matter how crass or clueless, none of them has been such a thunderingly gauche nightmare that they would just barge in and tromp about indoors in their shoes.

This AGAIN?? Give it a rest already, AT.

I'm surprised how many people find shoes-off to be the norm. I'd never even heard of it before about age 25, despite having lived in four different cities across three states. I don't have a shoes-off policy in my own house because I am just way more comfortable wearing shoes most of the time (keeps my feet from hurting). Of course I'm willing to remove my shoes if that is how someone likes their house, but if there is not an obvious shoe storage spot by the front door I might not notice your policy. I hope you don't think I am a thunderingly gauche nightmare of a guest just because you have to mention your preference. I live in Seattle where shoes-off is common, but by no means the majority. If you are not willing to say anything I don't know how guests are supposed to know what to do.

I love how so many people are baffled by this discussion for totally opposite reasons. Among my friends and family it goes without saying that when you walk in to someone's house for whatever normal/casual occasion, you remove your shoes. If it's a party the shoes stay on, no question and no need to confirm with anyone. I live in Toronto where it is wet and snowy for a lot of the year, I wear my boots and change into heels once I arrive. I certainly would not stay in shoes that were wet or muddy. Yes, shoes are dirty from the sidewalk, but so is everything else, and that's why we clean after parties ;)

And yes, the survey doesn't seem to be working properly. I couldn't vote, and I suspect it's tallying all the votes under one response....

I think asking guests to take shoes off makes you seem uptight and isn't going to make your guests feel welcome and comfortable. Most of the time if the weather is bad people will offer to take their shoes off this is the only time it is really necessary. There is nothing worse than going to a party and having to take your nice shoes off then walking around with cold feet all evening.

I don't take my shoes off at my home.. why should I require my guest!!
lol

I'm with @vonstamp - as a hostess, my goal is for my guests to be comfortable, and I don't care if they wear shoes or not. That said, as a guest in someone else's home, if I have the option to take my shoes off, I will...it's just my personal preference.

Our shoes off policy isn't really about the germ issue, but about the dirt issue. Our downstairs is hardwood, and I like to walk around barefoot at home. The floor stays a million times cleaner for much longer when we take our shoes off. Call me lazy, but I don't particularly enjoy vacuuming more than once every few weeks.

Also, we live on a gravel road, and we have a gravel walk - small gravel. Tiny pieces of rock get stuck in shoes and destroy our wood floors, so we ask all guests to remove their shoes regardless of why the are at our house. And heels are the absolute worst on hardwoods - our old apartment had a bazillion tiny dents all over the wood floor from heels. We will not be having that in our new place. I really don't feel that trying to keep our floors in decent shape is too much to ask. I gladly oblige when I am at someone else's house. To me, respecting a friend's house is more important than my outfit.

Here is what I'm not getting with the original posting: is it not your home if you are having a party?

If your house rule is no street shoes, then that is it.
If you are flexible, the question of parties probably isn't an issue.

Provide washable slippers, provide advance notice. Have a sign.

If someone won't come because their outfit is more important than friends... Do you want them at all?

Add to that, people make a no-shoes rule for many reasons, from dirt to culture.

We don't value our floors over friends, as some one will say.
We value our homes, our lifestyles, and we want to share that with others.

I am a shoes-on gal, personally, but I always let my guests do as they please shoes-wise in my house, and am happy to follow the rules at other people's homes in every way. I do find it a bit frustrating when I am not given advance warning about a house rule that might be unexpected to me, such as rules about taking your shoes off. I think the problem is that sometimes shoes-off households assume that this is the norm, and that people will be prepared to be barefoot when entering someone else's home. This is not always the case, and I know I have been awfully embarrassed in doing so before - "unpresentable" feet, stinky shoes, etc. If my host prefers for me to disrobe to a specific degree while in their home, it is their prerogative - but please let me know in advance.

I don’t take my shoes off unless someone asks me too. I hate it, and I’ll avoid that person’s house in the future. I wouldn’t ask a guest to remove his or her shoes for any occasion. If the shoes were muddy or wet, I’d offer a towel. If my guests prefer to take their shoes off, of course that’s fine.

I can totally see how that might change with dirty kids running through the house. That kind of wear and tear is a lot more extensive than the occasional guest.

@violentcello (great nickname)
If you knew in advance, and the hosts provided clean house footwear, does that help you feel more comfortable?

And I ask as someone who really dislikes wearing shoes. I'm trying to understand.

I find it interesting that people would be so upset about having to take their shoes off in someone’s home. I think it is lovely that you took the time to coordinate your shoes to your outfit and I appreciate the effort you took to put your look together, but thinking that because you are an adult the soles of your shoes don’t get dirty seems ridiculous to me. You don’t need to be jumping in mud puddles to have the soles of your shoes track in dirt. I would like to think a party would be more about getting together with family and friends and enjoying yourself rather than having a ‘complete’ outfit…but maybe that’s just me, I have never been to a house where leaving your shoes on is customary.