Between buying gifts for my daughter's teacher, gift exchange at her school, gift exchange at my office, gift exchange at my husband's office, a ridiculously huge family to buy gifts for, and friends, I'm broke before I get started. How about we stop the madness for once and quit expecting all these gift exchanges and just focus on spending time with each other. It's the same old thing every year.

HA! I just realized what a grinch I sound like... "Bah Humbug!"

My list? Make food, share food, enjoy company. (And sneak bites of cookie dough, yum.) The only presents I need to get are for my granddaughter so I just collect art supplies on sale all year so it's all done but the wrapping. I use fabric for that (she likes to sew too). The adults in our family get together and share food and memories, no gift exchanges. Holiday life is much simpler and way more relaxed since we started doing that.

As a former educator, please don't buy gifts for teachers. A card or picture with a personal written statement, especially if written by students, is great. It's nice to hear if there was a specific thing that was said/done that benefitted your child. Also, it's tough to haul your goodies home along with all the papers you have to grade and then when some of the gifts aren't quite your thing or you can't eat all the homemade goodies because you're leaving town, you feel guilty trying to get rid of them somehow (donating or throwing out).

As a former educator, I just realized I had a dangling phrase. Sorry.

I was going to make more ornaments for the tree. That's not happening.

I am so behind in my Christmas cards (which is the one true joy of the season for me b/c I enjoy making cards) b/c I put other things first that really should have come second.

What's also not going to happen? Those imaginary iced cookies. I need to go befriend a bakery.

I like that you're advocating for "Good Enough" when it comes to the holidays. Last year when I had a 4-month-old around the holidays, I let a lot of stuff go. Didn't bake a single thing. And to my surprise, I barely noticed the difference! Even in my sleepless, foggy state, the holidays were pretty fun.

@MandyDavis

You don't sound like a grinch at all. It really shouldn't be a necessity for this to be as out of hand as it gets for many of us. I simply don't have the resources to buy expensive gifts. My daughter will fare better than anyone else, but I'm not going overboard there either.

I didn't come from a rich family. My parents worked very hard at mutliple jobs to get what they could. I remember the year my brothers and I got downhill skis. Thrilled is an understatement. Looking back, I feel a little bit of guilt knowing how hard they must have worked to manage that. We used to have a guideline of $20 per person. I don't know what that would be in todays dollars, but it doesn't have to be much. Obviously though, they went over the edge there. And so did Santa every year.

I don't really want anything for Christmas. Honestly, I rarely do. One year my then wife got upset with me when I told her all I wanted was a receipt to a local Christmas charity. But that's the truth.

A few years ago I gave up on Christmas decorating. Now the only thing I have is a literal Charlie Brown tree that I set up to droop with its one glass ball ornament. I used to have a real flair for decorating with the lights and the garland and sparkle, but I realized I was spending too much money on things I would grow tired of in only two or three years and want to start all over.

It helps that I hate actual Christmas trees and have always thought they were tacky.

I realized I was going too far when I was all set today to go buy a chainsaw to take down a giant, overgrown bush in front of my house - all by myself, at night, while overtired and pregnant, while my husband is away and toddler is in bed. It suddenly feels Really urgent because I want to put out lights and decorations without them being hidden by or drawing attention to the monster bush. Glad I came to my senses before lopping off a limb of my own!

I "downsized" the holiday hassle years ago. The first thing I did was to end Christmas cards and letters. People I wouldn't see for the holidays, I simply called to wish them a Merry Christmas. Why send cards to people you'll see? Wasteful. Then I spoke with friends about stopping our annual gift exchange. They all readily agreed. We all had families and the extra money not spent on gifts for friends went to our kids. Then, as the kids in our families grew older, we stopped gifts for anyone over 18. Now all but one of our family is over 18. We have a dinner and family get together with stupid stocking stuffer type "gifts" won as various prizes. For my daughter and grandkids, money or gift cards is the preferred gift. My husband and I no longer exchange gifts. We buy something for the house or just treat ourselves to a nice dinner. We all have too much stuff and my family no longer supports the mass Christmas consumerism.

the thing I've realized is each year will vary. When my kids were babies my brain was fried. So just getting up the tree was a big deal. We didn't get Christmas cards out last year but have ordered them for this year. I suppose my point is, give yourself flexibility. If you have the time great! If not don't feel guilty.

I only seriously exchange gifts with the man I live with -- not even my brother (my only remaining immediate relative) gets a gift -- long story, there... My partner's all done, except for the wrapping.

At work, for the second year, we will have an ornament exchange (Yankee swap, style) for those who choose to participate. This is part of the "entertainment", though, not just a gift. Silly bickering over the gifts is part of the fun, even if you don't play, making wisecracks from the sidelines is also fun. (And a limit of $5-10 keeps it real.)

And I make a little something for my immediate co-worker team (6 people), this year polymer clay snowflake ornaments. (I am a polymer clay artist when I have the time. I do something like this every year, not an exchange, just a token of appreciation...)

Finally, I made cute ribbon bookmarks for everyone at work, not just the team I work with. Another employee used to do some little funny craft for everyone, but she had to resign because of fibromyalgia. I consider this my homage to her. (We hope she will come to the party...) (This year only!!)

My "Good Enough" moments came with a project for my partner. My sewing machine was giving me fits, and the stitching (on a tote bag for his D&D stuff) is kind of crappy. But it's done, it's more or less OK, and since it's a kind of joke, it's Good Enough. (I wish it were better, but not enough to do it over!)

Also, less decorating at home, and NONE at work (I've been "in charge" for ten years, nobody else would take it on, so not much happening this year.) The silk poinsettias and one little tree are Good Enough. (If somebody thinks otherwise, they can take care of it -- the storeroom has plenty of stuff to work with!)

Finally, I'm delaying my cookie baking and limiting the recipes, since we are trying to lose weight. One nromal batch is Good Enough. (Well, not really, but that's what's happening anyhow!!!) ;^)

@krikkit - thank you SO MUCH for sharing that story.

Thanks for this reminder! I'm going through the same thing right now and it's good to remember that it's ok to adjust or to just say no :)

For years, my ex-BF and I made on behalf of each other, in lieu of gifts, a $100 donation to a charity of our choice(s). One $100 donation went to a greyhound adoption group and the other $100 donation went to a donkey sanctuary. I really liked it because he is impossible to buy for, I am admittedly picky and I prefer to buy my own stuff myself. Really, how many sweaters or fleece jackets does one need? This way, there was no need to pretend I like what I secretly didn't like or feel guilty when wanting to exchange it.
I don't have any family so $100 was the biggest expense I would make at Christmas and he makes a lot more $ than I do so again, no biggie. We were both fine with this and I don't think either of us felt deprived.

Christmas is only as stressful as *you* allow it to be. After years of failed suggestions to lessen the stress (drawing names, swapping ornaments, etc) I finally put my foot down years ago, I didn't make a scene; I simply ~opted out~. Best thing I ever did, not sure why it took me so long.

There's a reason for the season....and it's not consumerism.

I rotate my Christmas complications, don't do everything in every year, but every other year or so. I don't travel at Christmas, that simplifies a lot. I've decided on a few musts every year--walking around Beacon Hill and the Public Garden in Boston, putting a simple garland and wreath on the front of the house, and growing narcissus and amaryllis. I always get presents for the children in my family (now all great-nieces & nephews) but don't worry much about the grown-ups. And in there somewhere I try to have one really good meal including oyster stew, because that's what my family had for Christmas Eve when I was growing up.

My problem is simple: I love the Christmas stuff, decoration, food and so on, but with two very small children and a house under heavy renovation, I just have neither the energy nor the money.
My husband and I decided to very slowly collect Christmas decor. This means I have a simple color palette (red, white, gold and light grey), and I started with 6 tree ornaments. Not having much stuff but a few major "statement pieces" means it doesn't take long to decorate for the holidays, and I enjoy it much more, since it's all done in maybe four hours (this including buying the tree).

I still stretch my budget a bit for my children and nieces and nephews. We are all very reasonable during the year, so I love giving them something out of the ordinary. I love it when children dream of things and ask for them; if I can give them something special (like an hour swimming with dolphins!), I consider it money well spent. If I can't, it's still good for them to dream. As a little girl, I remember asking repeatedly for a trip to the Easter Island, which of course I never got. I didn't forget the dream though, and my husband and I went there for our honeymoon. Even though it took place in August, this trip felt like a huge Christmas Gift; I wish I could give similar experiences to my loved-ones.
I don't know if I'm making much sense here, but what I'm trying to say in my very bad English is: while I hate buying the latest novelty dvd, I really love giving valuable gifts to my loved ones, value being in the beauty, the experience, the memory, and not in the cost.

Though it is amazing how much fulfilling a simple dream like swimming with dolphins cost...

It's so freeing to just let a few things go around the stressful holiday season. To quote comedian John Mulaney, "In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."

This is the first year I've felt fully satisfied about my Christmas decorating and gift planning, and it did help to trim my more intense ideas (make wrapping paper, customized ribbon and gift tags for everyone, every gets 3 kinds of baked goods) and it made it all such a happy process.

In terms of decorating, I bought only two new items this year, and both were in September because this is the end of a plan a few years in the making. All of me Christmas ornaments/decorations were bought over the past years, only on after Christmas clearance. This meant that I had to resign to not seeing that purchase again for pretty much a whole year, but it was great. I got the classy items I'd dreamed of for intense bargains (75%+ off).

For gifts, I set a strict limit of $25 for people outside my boyfriend, kid brother, and parents (who all don't care, but I love spoiling them). I cut out almost all of my extended family last year and opted to make my orange cranberry scones, wrapped in cellophane with twine and I thought that was still a nice effort.

For coworkers and casual friends, World Market has mini holiday coffees and hot chocolates for $2.50/$2 each, and David's Teas and Lupicia have cheap, delicious festive teas. It's not much, but it's all stuff I want to keep for myself (white chocolate apricot tea! red velvet hot chocolate!), which I think is the sign of a good gift.

Krikkit, you are a badass & a riot.

In addition to Christmas we have 9 birthdays in December. I have opted out of most of the excessive craziness brought on by the Holidays, except for cookie baking. I baked 21 different types of cookies in November and they are all ready to be shipped or hand given (most are already on their way) to friends around the world.

I gave up Christmas cards because the duty fell to me and I wasn't going to be held hostage any longer. My hubs works for Santa's biggest shipping Elf and he hates this time of the year (and after 25 years of watching what he does, I don't like it either).

This season will be much less stressful for us all because I've set the expectations really really low.