In Newfoundland it's automatic. Shoes off. Period. It would be very disrespectful to traipse through someone's home while wearing outdoor shoes. I bring party shoes to parties if I must...

We had a heated debate about this at one of our #SpaHouseParty chats on twitter. I've always kept a basket of slippers for guests & most think it's fun and makes them feel like they are at a spa! I think it's key to make the slippers nice like these: http://artofthespa.net/archives/3090

Spa wishes, Candy

The solution is simple: when you're a guest at someone else's house, offer to remove your shoes. When you're the host, respond to your guests' offers by insisting they do whatever makes them most comfortable (and don't make a face if they opt to keep their shoes on.) Both parties have therefore exhibited their best manners. Sometimes the result will be shoes off, sometimes it will be shoes on.

Posting a sign directing your guests to do something to their appearance, even a funny one, is never polite.

I had a guest at a party who I guess had lost the little rubber piece on the bottom of one of her spike heels. The little metal bit that remains left little dents all over my hardwood floor in the living room and dining room.

So PLEASE, if you are going to insist on leaving your shoes on at a party, make sure they are shoes that won't mark up or dirty the host's floor.

Oh, and ALWAYS check for poop and gum on your soles. Gross.

I just had to delurk to comment on this. I hate when people ask me to remove my shoes, and it makes me mad when they don't warn me about it in advance. First, I always have heels on, so walking on slippers is not comfortable for me at all. Besides, I get dressed with shoes, that's how I plan my outfit. Often the shoes are the first thing I think about. When I have to remove them, I don't have that feeling of somebody that dressed well to go to someone's house. I feel like someone who did not get dressed on a cold Sunday and spent the day on pajamas. That's all right to do on my own home, but if I will have to be on that state of mind o somebody else's house, I want to be warned.

Let me be very clear: some people don't like this, and don't ever feel well when you force them to remove their shoes. No amount of extra alcohol you give me is going to remove this. I have dear friends that ask people to remove their shoes, and provide sleepers. I go to their parties because I like them, but I have negative thoughts about this every time. I comply because I am civilized, but you are imposing a severe constraint in my comfort, and you should be aware of this.

I like the idea of providing wipes for the shoes at the front. I have no problem wiping my shoes carefully before entering. This is much more considerate with your guests.

I agree that guests/friends should know your policy ahead of time so they can prepare for spending time in your home. If I were a guest I would appreciate some clean warm(non-skid) socks or slippers to be available since my feet are always cold, regardless of season just in case I forget. As a host, I think I couldn't expect people to adhere to this policy unless I provided these things for them.

Growing up in an asian household, shoes-off and slippers on was the norm for me. I didn't even know that people wore shoes in their homes until I moved to NYC.

I definitely will be providing tons of slippers for the guests I'm about to have over for Thanksgiving.

I really hate the idea of being forced to take off my shoes at someone else's house. If it's a party, it's usually a sartorial reason. My shoes are part of my outfit. If it's just a normal visit, there could be a variety of reasons. No socks often means sweaty & stinky feet. And if it doesn't, my feet often get cold. If I am wearing socks, my feet do still get cold. Or I might just prefer to not slip around.

I guess I just don't get it. I get keeping your shoes off the furniture. But keep a mat by the front door so folks can wipe their feet and then just clean the floors every so often.

This seems to be a plague taking over Chicago, the shoeless party. Personally I hate taking my shoes off because I don't feel dressed, and I've had the bad pedicure/bad sock experience. On a day-to-day basis I take my shoes off at home, but when guests come I let them leave them on. What's wrong with cleaning the floor once they've left? A little of my discomfort is okay for my guests' comfort.

I can't believe AT has brought this topic up again -- but more important, I really can't believe how hostile some americans get to the request to leave shoes off. The undersides of shoes are disgusting, and most cultures find it barbaric that we were them in our homes. And more important, if you are a guest, then graciously accept their house rules -- period. For heaven's sakes we are a rich country -- can't you wear decent socks when you go out?

I think I will show my age here, but I must say I'm far more offended by how young people have accepted flip-flops for daily wear out and about. Feet get disgustingly dirty after a day out in an urban setting. Yowza!

being asian and growing up with a no shoe in the house policy this is the norm to me. so i'm not trying to offend anyone but why would you wear shoes that you just wore outside inside your house? think of everything you probably just stepped on. dog pee, spit, cigarette butts, people pee (possibly), trash, etc. then you bring it into the house. why? and i'm 5'1. trust me i love wearing my heels but not tracking filth into the house outweighs me looking 3 inches taller.

The U.S. is the only place in the world I've been where taking off shoes indoors is not automatic. When I lived overseas, and whenever I've traveled, hosts have always had slippers to offer. Our guests are usually nice enough to offer to take off their shoes, of course I realize this is a far more tempting prospect in the summer. Last winter I hosted a bridal shower at my house and had guests from all over the country (as in, their backgrounds and sensibilities were much different from my own). I did not ask anyone to remove their shoes, and spent much of the night cringing at the site of stilettos on my hardwoods. Perhaps I really should invest in a healthy supply of house slippers, and use the tips offered to politely request a shoe-free environment.

Frank, the point is your guests comfort. I "graciously accept," but I am not happy. It's not about the socks, it's about the outfit, the walking without support, the cold feet, etc.

I don't think that removing shoes is common in "most cultures." I have been asked to remove my shoes far more often here than in any other country. I know that this is the standard in some countries, but certainly not most of the western countries, which are culturally closest to the US.

By the way, I am happy to wipe the bottom of my shoes. Give me a clorox wipe any day, but let me leave my shoes on. Why isn't it enough?

Although I don't usually wear shoes at home I don't like being asked to remove them at someone elses house. I once went to the home of a friend's relative who is a filthy hoarder and was asked to take my shoes off. The floor that you could see was black with dirt. I didn't want my feet in that filth so I didn't remove them. She offered slippers but they were even more disgusting. Even in an apparently clean home I don't know what is on that floor or worse yet in those slippers that have had tons of other feet in them. Yuck. I've been to homes for sale that provide those paper booties that they wear in hospitals, that is a more sanitary option as they go over your shoes. I'm not one to care about fashion, just the yuck factor of being barefoot on someone elses floor or worse yet in their slippers.

Any opportunity to take off my shoes is a pleasure. Sometimes I come up with an excure to take them off even when not asked. :-)

What Mid-C Frank said.

And I will add that I can't believe how uptight folks are about this. Why does a simple thing like whether your, or others, shoes are on and off have such a negative, lingering effect?

A little "go with the flow" would go a long way here.

Where is everyone living or walking that you walk through spit, pee, trash and poop on your way to someone's house? For me, inviting people over is about hospitality and a bit more formality than just hanging out, so while our family removes our shoes in our house, I would never ask guests to do the same. People dress for gatherings and sometimes we go out onto the deck or into the yard, so no shoes seems silly and I am simply not going to buy or maintain a bunch of slippers for people. To me, this seems indicative of the wave of germophobia that's been creeping into American homes during the last decade. Interesting given the spread of distrust of vaccinations, but that's another can of worms. =)

Second darlingcaro. I like my shoes too much, so I am careful where I step.

soozie, that is your standard, your view of "go with the flow." I could just as easily ask why don't hosts "go with the flow" and let guests wear what they want?

This "the rest of the world takes their shoes off at home" argument really has no bearing. That is the custom in other places, fine. It's a good thing to be aware and respectful of. But the American custom is to wear shoes pretty much all the time in the majority of social situations. And shoes are a key part of a party outfit for many women. If it's a casual drop-in at a friend's house, ok, but please provide slippers! It's embarrassing to expose your toes when you're not prepared! If it's a true party, I think it's rather rude to force your particular customs on all your guests. You probably mopped and vacuumed before the party—suck it up and do it again afterwards. And if you're going to insist on shoeless-ness, absolutely make this clear before hand so cute outfits can be appropriately planned. Don't assume people are going to be expecting it.

re photo: Love the Birds on a Limb hooks. Any info? Thank you.

Also delurking to (at least in the litigation-happy US) urge a note of caution. And i swear this is not an urban legend or a tall tale. An acquaintance of mine (elderly, unsteady on his feet) was invited to a party where the host required (not requested) guests remove shoes. My acquaintance complied, and during the party fell, hit his head, was taken to the hospital by ambulance, lapsed into a coma and died. I'd call this a tragic accident, but the acquaintance's family had a different opinion, and was successfully able to sue the host for a huge sum of money, citing the host's shoe removal policy as the factor that led to the accident and death. The whole story is ugh, I know. Keep your homeowner's insurance policy up to date, I guess.

It's a preference for me to have familiar folks take off their shoes, but I won't badger if someone doesn't. Even I get annoyed sometimes having to take mine off when I forget something inside. I'd rather take the extra few seconds to unlace though than have what makes the sticky sound on a public bathroom floor end up mashed in my rugs. There are just some things a door mat, mop and vacuum aren't going to get rid of easily.

My method of subtle suggestion is taking off my own shoes at the door in a pronounced way after retrieving someone from the gate. Most folks seem fine going along with "when in Rome." If they not, I pull the lever on the trap door — I mean...go about entertaining.

I only wear slippers at home because I love how they feel. I think that a host asking his guests to remove their shoes when attending an event is awful. Most of my pants are tailored to be worn with heels. I feel silly walking around with my hem dragging. What about smelly feet? Or having chipped toenail polish? Or a big run in your hose that your boots were covering up? Your party better be darned amazing if you think I'd ever look forward to coming back.

adalaio, actually I was suggesting it for both sides. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

analogdialog, this is a nice way to go about it, and many times people do that. If you are ok that some guests won't remove their shoes even when you make all the show of taking off your own, then even better.

I host weekly for more than 10 years now, never ask people to remove their shoes, and never, not once, did I have to remove anything disgusting from my floors. Clean a bit of mud? Yes. A scratch here and there? Yes. But disgusting public bathroom sticky things? It seems like a plausible story, but it never happened.

Having lived in Alaska with a universal no shoe rule, you get used to bringing your strappy heels along. I have lived in the lower 48 for 20 years now and still get offended when people just walk on in to my house with shoes on. However, I have learned not to shriek when they do it!

I disagree that "most cultures" find leaving your shoes on "disgusting" and further, we are talking about a specific culture ... American. I live in France and never have I been asked to remove my shoes. I found this custom selfish and irritating when I lived in America. Yes, our material things are SO important that you should adhere to our edict when privileged with an invitation.

A host's goal should be to make guests feel comfortable. If you have decided that shoeless is the policy in your own little world, warn the rest of us so we can choose not to attend.

Hi soozle, sorry I misunderstood what you meant.

soozle, by the way, now that I re-read your comment, I see that you were clear. My fault.

To request or be requested to take shoes off at a small-ish dinner party makes sense and seems like no big deal to me. At a bigger party or more formal party (like a cocktail party) it feels much more innappropriate and awkward to me. But the worst to me is wearing someone else's slippers. Shoes, socks, or BYOSlippers.

I don't remind removing my shoes in someone else's home if they prefer. However, I would certainly never request someone take their shoes off at my home, especially my parents or someone who is a generation older than me.

My mom was a big believer in shoes-off, moreso when she lived in northern climes, but now that I own my own home, I don't care; people can do as they wish. My husband hates to be barefoot. Personally, it actually cripples me to be shoeless, so for someone to insist would be a hardship, but if I knew my shoes were muddy, I'd take them off of my own volition and deal. My feeling is that floors are meant to be walked on, not kept as pristine museum displays. People need to lighten up.

we always take our shoes off.... if you have EVER ripped up old carpet, you will know why, and you will never want to lay down on someone's carpet ever again! or even buy carpet for that matter...

check out our experience with carpet, and people who, for years, wore their shoes in the house...

http://twopeasteenypod.blogspot.com/2011/09/day-2-tip-from-asians.html

I hate taking my shoes off at other people's home to be honest. I will take them off if the host asks it of me, but its best to be warned about it first.

We leave our shoes on at home and I live in NYC. I also wear flip-flops almost daily in the summer. I wash my feet thoroughly when I shower. If our shoes are dirty, we just mop, broom, vacuum, etc... Not a big deal.

Shoes? Hah!

My guests have a disgusting habit of leaving their clothes on when visiting. Why they should object to my personal preference is completely beyond me. After all, they are in my house and it is the guest's responsibility to conform to my wishes, isn't it?

If visitors can't behave, they should stay home.

We don't wear shoes at home. Most of our friends know that. When they come over, many offer to remove their shoes. I don't ask them though. Some people do have foot problems.

I've been at others' homes, removed my shoes and had an uncomfortable evening with very cold feet.

...and... it's just disgusting to wear your shoes in the house. if you are a city-dweller, you are tracking in garbage, dirt, pet urine, ..wait for it.. pet feces!!!, and anything else that are on those streets... makes me cringe at the thought of it...

...and some people are worried about what their TOES look like? come on people, track NYC garbage in your host's house, or show them your un-polished toes? i think there's no debate here.

Like someone else said the US is the ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD that not taking off shoes at the door isn't automatic. In Canada we take our shoes off. It's gross and disrespectful not to. I lived with an American roommate for awhile and didn't realize he wasn't just being a tool or a complete a-hole by wearing his dockers on my carpet- when I mentioned it to him he was shocked. It's a culture thing but goes a long way in respecting others by taking them off... perhaps there is some sort of underlying social message here I can't quite put into words. Taking off shoes=respecting other people.

Definitely shoes off, BUT I do not make a big stink if someone does not take it off when they are over only because I don't want them to feel attacked. That said, I find it incredibly disgusting that people wear shoes in the house. You have NO idea how gross the bottom of your shoes is. Even though I don't make a big stink about people entering my house with shoes on, I also find it rude seeing that everyone who enters my house knows that I have a shoe-less policy. I have had people track in dog poop, mud, gum, leaves inside the house when I have crawling babies. People have also made gouges and deep scratches in my wooden floor by digging their heels which I cannot fix unless I rip out my wooden floor.

Honestly, I don't care. I just love that entry way. Our landlord does though; the shoes off policy is written right into the lease. It's a two unit building and the guy below us would have to hear the shoe noise!

I'm pretty go with the flow on this one... and most of it depends on temperature. I the winter I keep slippers in my purse so when I take my shoes off my feet don't get cold.

But I always take my shoes off in the winter. Always. I live in MN, and our winters are sandy, salty, dirty and wet. Not even a clorox wipe could handle it (with the wet, it'd probably make it worse). But I also wear boots outside and change my shoes once I'm in the office - so I have indoor shoes and outdoor shoes, I suppose.

My socks are usually fun, so I don't mind getting the chance to show them off.

Is anyone else wigged out that, that is a mirror above the console and you can't see the photographer?....... I know it must be photo shopped but still..... I.....am......wigged.

Am I the only one reminded of the Sex in the City episode where Carrie was asked to remove her shoes and someone stole her $400 Manolos? Apparently not everyone removes their shoes regularly in the city!

I hate taking mine off at someone's house. Makes me feel half dressed, short and uncomfortable if my toenails are a bit unsightly. I would never ask guests to remove their shoes, instead I vacuum and mop after they leave!

I ALWAYS take my shoes off when visiting someones home, even if they don't ask me. When I have guests, I hate having to ask them to remove shoes, but I do anyway. I think it is incredibly rude for people to walk around my home with shoes. They don't clean my floors, I do. Have some respect.

People should take their shoe cue from the host. If you don't want people wearing shoes, make sure to be shoeless when you answer the door. I guess I'd prefer if our guests removed their shoes if they were going to sit on the sofa and put their feet up or walk on the carpets. Otherwise, whatever. I would hate to catch someone off guard or someone that didn't want to take their shoes off for some reason. Just mop, it's not a big deal. I don't feel like having a big pile of guest socks and slippers ugly-ing up my front door area so there you go. Not to mention that I don't want to wash someone else's smelly socks.

Personally, I think shoe removal is ridiculous! I don't want to see or smell your feet and you don't need to see or smell mine. In addition, many times I've noticed that people who are so hung up on either mess or hygiene are the same people who for some reason don't seem to get freaked out about their dogs and cats dragging dirt and germs in OR expecting their guests to sit on hair laden furniture, get sniffed by wet noses, and and get licked. Total contradiction. Just provide a mats and scrapers/brushes for people to wipe their feet and encourage them to do so.

I would never force people to take of their shoes at my home, but it would be a lot easier to be fine with that if I didn't have carpet. Hardwood or tile would be so much easier to just clean for tracked in mess and germs. Darned carpet.

@kristieC - me too! I get shin splits walking around for long periods of time without shoes on hard floors. We have hardwood on concrete, and travertine tile. Most houses here in Florida have tile or another hard surface.

This will always be a hot-button issue because it's such a cultural thing. Some people grew up knowing that you just do not wear outside shoes in the house, therefore the opposite behavior is going to freak them out. The flip side of that is of course true as well.

People need to get past the 'right or wrong' aspect and just understand that it's about courtesy. Anyone who is not courteous enough to take off their shoes and accept a pair of slippers to wear in my house is not someone I would want in my house in the first place. It's really a rather efficient way of weeding out "friends".

Absolutely not! Friendships and courtesy are more important than the sparkle of your white carpet (who has white carpet anyway?). If your flooring is more important than having guests feel comfortable in your home, you should spend your Saturday nights with your carpet. The idea of asking my guests to take off their shoes/the idea of someone else asking me to take off my shoes horrifies me. I prefer muddy shoes to toe jammy, sweaty, stinky feet, anyway. FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm from the deep south, where the manners of our grandparents still reign.

** If it is part of your culture, then that is a different scenario.

I am surprised to see such passionate opinions about this topic!

As a guest, I always pay attention to what my host is doing and follow suit. As a hostess, I ask my guests to do whatever is comfortable for them. To me, shoelessness lends itself to a very casual atmosphere, so I find it to be most appropriate for small gatherings of people who know each other rather than large get-togethers with guests who are unfamiliar with one another. If you have a strict no-shoes policy, it may be thoughtful to inform guests ahead of time so that they can be sure that they won't be embarrassed by their bare feet or the condition of their socks.

In my home, we sometimes wear our shoes inside and sometimes do not. (That is probably why I am so casual about the shoes-or-no-shoes debate.) We always remove our shoes if it has been raining or our shoes are otherwise wet or visibly dirty, but other than that, we just do whatever feels most comfortable to us. I don't worry about the dirt and germs that might enter our home through our shoes, since I'm sure our home has dirt and germs from plenty of other sources. I'm not worried about our flooring getting damaged because of shoes since we haven't chosen fragile or costly materials and since there are plenty of other ways for that to happen (normal wear and tear, dropping food or drink, etc.).

If you are really concerned about what guests may do to your floors/home/belongings, etc., you might consider hosting your gathering elsewhere to avoid making guests uncomfortable, adding stress to your relationships, and having to deal with the cost and effort of cleaning or repairing your floors.

My shoes are part of my outfit - I pick my shoes (usually high heels) to compliment what I'm wearing.

Of course, on a snowy winter day, I'll be glad to trade out my boots (that I wear from the car or street to your doorstep) for my heels (that are waiting in my bag, but I'm not going to be barefoot or in hose/tights on your floor.

Am I the only regular poster here that is usually in a dress or skirt? I'm not wearing "fun socks" under my shoes, that isn't the type of shoes I wear.

I'm so glad my friends don't insist on this.

Wow, we do NOT have this issue in Mexico. Here, you NEVER walk around the house barefoot, and it's too hot for socks in Cancun. (I have special flip-flops for being around the house) If you asked Mexican guests to remove their shoes, you'd get a lecture on catching colds, dirty feet and bad luck.

LOL, Frank, I'm a young person and I am probably the ONLY person my age who doesn't like flip flops. I know it's totally off subject, but yes, I hate them. Unless it's a public shower, pool or the beach. This is especially strange because I grew up in SoCal and everyone wears flip flops everywhere.

Back to the subject, I'm Asian, I don't wear shoes in my house. But my husband wears his shoes in the house unless he knows he's going to be home all day. I don't demand guests to take off their shoes. However, I think if I had carpeting in my house I would ask guests to remove their shoes because that's just really gross.

I don't get what the big deal is honesty. Lots of people offer to take off their shoes so I say, sure you can put them over there. If someone wants to keep their shoes on I just tell them to wipe their feet real well on the mat and come on in! In the Minnesota winters most people's shoes are covered in snow so they automatically take them off anyways & swiftly switch to their pretty heels (which they wouldn't want to ruin by wearing in the snow anyways!). I wouldn't like it though if in dry weather I was asked to remove my shoes and caught with embarrassingly chipped toenail polish. If the ground isn't wet, how much damage are shoes really going to cause???

Someone who bases friendships on whether or not I wear shoes in the home is someone I don't want to be friends with.

As a guest, I always ask if they would like me to take of my shoes. If they want me to, I do, if they don't care, then I leave them on. I prefer to leave them on. I hate taking off my shoes at other peoples houses. I feel very uncomfortable walkin around barefoot or in stocking feet at other peoples houses (especially if they have pets or their house is dirty.) Putting on slippers that someone else has had their feet in kind of make me feel a little ill.

As a hostess, I let my guests decide. If they want to take of their shoes, then they do. If they want to keep their shoes on, it doesn't bother me. As for tracking the nastiness of the world on my floor, I simply mop after they leave. I just want my guests to feel at home when they come over - I want them to be comfortable so I let them decide if they want their shoes on or off. I would rather mop the floors after they leave (or the next morning) rather than have my guests feel uncomfortable - it's the least I can do.

I happen to go shoeless at home because I like being barefoot, but would I expect people to remove shoes? No, because it's rude to invite someone over and then make them uncomfortable. If you don't like that, then don't have guests! (What's the point of having guests over? To make yourself happy??) After all, what if the person you've invited needs to be in custom orthotics or has arthritis or just has some other issue? If you require that shoes come off, then you've just inconvenienced and/or embarrassed a guest, and that's just wrong.

So, what does it matter that the rest of the world does have a no-shoes policy? Why can't anyone accept the fact the we have a different custom in the US? I don't expect others in other countries to do what we do, so why should people from other countries expect us to change? I've lived in and/or visited 30 states in the US, anyway, and the VAST majority of the time, the norm has been shoes-on. I find it insulting that we have to be so tolerant of others' customs and can't get some tolerance back in our own country.

For those who argue about the dirt on the floor:

So, do you lick your floors or eat off them or something? Since when is dirt on the floor a problem? Do you never clean them? I have yet to become ill from a dirty floor.

I think it would be rude to request people to remove their shoes, it's totally up to them. That said I can't wait to take off my own shoes when I get home myself.

And about the floor: Interesting how the no-shoes homes I've been in have also been pets-allowed on furniture and beds homes. Really? Really? Talk about contradiction. Worrying about poop and pee and yet allowing the animals that do the pooping and peeing to walk right from the yard onto the bed? Really?

OK, off my soapbox now.

I hate when people come into my house and don’t take their shoes off. It just seems so…disrespectful. I think I may have to invest in a sign because though I hate it, I also hate the awkward moment of having to ask someone to remove their shoes.

I personally don't like people taking off their shoes in my house. Please leave them on! I don't want your feet on my floor. I also don't like taking my own shoes off at others' places-but I will if asked. It just seems very little child to me, like your not responsible enough to wear your outside shoes and not get anything dirty. Also it makes people so less put together, feels sloppy when meeting new people. Also I lived in Europe for 11 years and only knew 1 family who did this (they were fancy) but did not when they held parties!

I generally go barefoot in my own - that is my culture. Do I insist my guests take theirs off? No, but I find that most people will follow suit when I remove my shoes. I understand some people may have feet, pedicure, mismatched socks, etc. issues and that's fine. All I ask is that if you do not plan on taking your shoes off, at least be thoughtful enough not to wear stilettos that are going to scratch up my floors or traipse in dirt and mud - that's just disrespectful!

Culturally I grew up in a shoefree house and of coursed carrier that over to my own house as an adult. When I go over someone's house I almost always just automatically take off my shoes without thinking.

I don't ask people to take off their shoes, most people do, but I don't consider it disrespectful (unless their shoes are all grimy).

Also, as a person that LOVES shoes and prepares for shoefree, I often pack a pair of socks in my purse :)

I would never ask a guest to take off their shoes, unless they were damaging to my floors. I have hardwoods, and I am fine with damp mopping the floors to keep them clean.

I can understand if one has carpet. I don't have carpet because it can't be cleaned. The only truly clean carpet was laid that day.

HOWEVER, I live in a building with carpet in the halls. So anyone, by the time they get to my door, has pretty much cleaned their shoes.

I would never dream of walking into anyone's home wearing shoes. It is disrespectful to the home owner. No one in Canada would be so rude as to do so, it's automatic here.

Please do not make me take off my shoes, it may be cleaner and or your custom, but it seems rude to me. I understand the cleanliness issue but I do not want to walk around barefoot or in questionable slippers on your clean or not so clean floor. If you need me to remove my shoes let me know ahead of time so I may choose to enter or not, or don't invite me in. If I refuse to remove (for my personal, cleanliness, embarrassment. or other issue) will you refuse me entry? If it is a party, get over it, clean the shoe mess up along with the spilled drink, spilled food mess and live with it. Unless you have a real health issue (and then should you be having random germy people in your place anyway?) you should just live with it for the night. Honestly I would have more issues with people using my rest room than my floor. How many people need to use a restroom hand towel before it is gross? My guess is 1. Funny thing is I love being barefoot, but toenail fungus not on my list of party favors I am looking to take home.

As a Canadian, this issue doesn't normally come up. We just take off our shoes. In everyone's house. Even if invited to keep them on, I would usually remove them, unless I was barefoot. Like some have mentioned above, I bring socks (or borrow) if I don't want to go barefoot, and if I have an outfit that requires shoes to be complete, I don't wear them to the guest's home, I change into them once I've arrived.

I always cringe when watching American TV shows, and you see the characters wearing their shoes as they lounge on the sofa (what if they lounge with their head at the other end tomorrow...? EW!) or put their feet up on the coffee table (don't people put food on their coffee tables?).

Shoes off!

If you want people to remove their shoes, it's also nice to provide a bench or a chair for them to sit down on while they do it.

On a very snowy day I was having a birthday party and decided not to ask people to remove shoes.

One guest showed up in snow boots, and brought along clean shoes to change into, so he was able to leave the boots at the door and still wear nice clean shoes in the house. It was so considerate, and something I try to do all the time now.

I am generally horrified if someone comes into my house and takes off their shoes. What's next? Their pants? But I would never say anything (unless they did take off their pants), as I want my guests to be comfortable.
I don't walk around the house barefoot. Yuck. Not to mention painful on hardwood floors.
I've only been asked to take off my shoes at someone's home once. I complied without complaint, and was miserable, self-conscious, and in pain all night. I didn't come back.

I hate being asked to take off my shoes. Would you like my belt and sweater as well? It makes me feel undressed in your home and very uncomfortable. I keep my shoes on in stores, theaters, hospitals, why take them off for you? I wipe them on the mat before entering. That should be good enough. There are some exceptions for close friends, babies, rainy weather, etc. But generally, walking around in socks or barefoot in someone else's home seems far too casual and disrespectful.

summer is my only season that i let it slide. but most of the time, it's hot and people want to take them off anyway.

but any other season, you've got rain, snow, mud, sand, leaves...it's a no-go.

on top of that, i just purchased my first flokati rug and that is a bear to keep clean, despite the shoeless policy.

with fall approaching, it's shoeless for anyone that walks in. i would LOVE to have an entry that we could keep shoes outside, but we share a common hallway with other tenants and i would feel AWFUL if someone's shoes were stolen (the horror!)

Frankly, I never wear shoes inside any house. Why? Well, two reasons: I worked in a hospital for years. You can't imagine the types of bacteria that get embedded in your shoes. The second reason is because I have seen what happens to the sidewalks and in public places where people walk. Not only animals doing what they must do, but even humans! You can't possibly be serious if you say that the rain washes all that away while you are wiping your counter tops with antibacterial wipes. All that aside, now I have floors that are expensive and beautiful. Repairing them from some woman's worn stilletto is no more an option than having a cat claw my leather furnishing or a dog peeing on my wallpaper, all of which have happened. In exchange, I meet my guest at the door in inexpensive slippers and a basket of more they may choose from. Then I leave them alone for a couple of moments to allow them to accomidate themselves while I fix them the refreshment of their choice.

I don't like when people wear shoes in my place.. I have white rugs.. I can't even imagine what they'd look like after shoes walked on them.

I also don't feel comfortable wearing shoes in other people's homes.. I feel nervous the whole time.

I have never asked anyone to take their shoes off, but they all do. And when, on occassion we are drunk and getting ready, the girls tend to avoid walking on the rug in their heels.

Overall, not an issue that presents itself often in my life, or causes me any ongoing concern.

Being from India, shoes off is the norm in most houses... Other than uber rich in cities, who think its uncool otherwise!! When I have guests over, I have an indicator sandal in the entryway carpet... If asked I tell, 'we usually remove shoes, but its ok if you are not comfortable'. Most people respect that.. Also please clean floors and empathy for people the floor below... Hardwood floors, high heels, and a lot of walking guests...is sure terrible for my neighbors!!

What if I take off my shoes at your shoe-less house and I stub my toe?

I think it's so interesting how this is clearly a regional and cultural issue, and it gets so heated. I'm from Texas, and growing up, I was never asked to remove my shoes at anyone's house. It would just be considered rude to do it. I have been to a couple of no-shoe houses where the floor was extremely dirty, and I left with filthy feet.

Travel much? Most people in Asia, SE Asia and the Middle East remove their shoes before they enter homes. I prefer warning because I'll be sure not to wear socks with a big hole in the toe in the event that I'm asked to remove my shoes. I respect no-shoes-in-the-house people. They typically have very clean homes!

The idea of having a Superbowl party and having 20 guys take off their sneakers makes me want to buy all the Febreeze stock.

I don't live in a wet or snowy climate and people wipe their feet anyway. I am extremely unconcerned about this. Plus, my dogs go in and out of the house shoeless all day long. I own a Dyson, so I'm highly unconcerned about a little dirt being tracked in.

I live in Canada and always take my shoes off. It seems standard here that you don't wear your shoes inside you're or anyone elses house. It would seem really weird for me to leave them on; especially in the winter when I have snowy wet boots on.

I found a great sign the other day at one of our novelty shops that I just had to have. "Please remove your shoes at the door - don't take a better pair when you leave."

I don't really care what my guests do, I'm generally more comfortable in socks myself, but I thought the sign was too funny to pass up.

I'm genuinely interested in what people who have a no-shoes policy do if they also have pets who ever go outside. Do you make them wear shoes which you remove when the animal comes in? Give their feet a scrubbing?

I am not a pet owner, nor do I require people take their shoes off when they visit.

While I have no problems with the shoes off policy in most homes, the host needs to also make sure the floors are clean enough for bare and stocking feet.
I have been to homes where the hostess insisted loudly that shoes come off only to discover the floors almost as dirty as anything I could have tracked in.

Unless you're walking into a home with dirt floors, shoes OFF!!!

I love bringing feces into people's homes.

@Rebecca_South - Yes to both. No shoes indoors and the dogs paws are cleaned.

I get that you want your guests to be comfortable, but it's also the guests' responsibility to respect the wishes of the host. You don't go into someone's home and put your feet on their table just because you do at home, do you? Or, well, you feel it's more stylish and comfortable to go pantsless like you do at home. And, well, your hair is gross today, so let's leave the hat on in church.

The way I see it, the host sets the rules. And, as many others have said, it's just disgusting to walk around on the street, through mud and into subways and then bring it into your home.

And your shoes are the basis of your outfit? Give me a freaking break. Are people seriously that vain? If you're at the home of a friend, do you really think they're judging you for your lack of a manicure or the fact that there's no coordinating item that would be your shoes?

Yeesh. If you want to wear shoes in your friends' homes, then I say you stay and wash the floors yourself.

there's lots of reasons to allow guests to wear shoes in your home: cute shoes, not-so-cute feet, possible odor problems, guests' comfort levels ....

and there are several reasons why someone might prefer that no one wear shoes/boots/flip-flops in their home.

dirt/germs ... this is a non-issue for me, even though i try to keep my place clean and would like to avoid the extra dirt that gets tracked in on shoes. there's an easy remedy for dirt (vacuum after company leaves).

possible damage to wood floors, especially by high heels ... i don't worry about this one either because i like the lived-in look.

noise ... this is the reason i take shoes off at the front door and want (but don't require) my family and friends to do the same. i live in an apartment on the top floor of my building and i try to be as quiet as possible for the family (with a young child) who live in the apartment below mine. i've learned from past experience just how noisy and annoying the sounds of shoes can be on hardwood floors for anyone not living on the top floor. ):(

i keep a basket of fluffy cotton sock-booties by my front door. i buy some whenever i find them sold by the pair in plastic (sorry) packaging - then my guests know that the booties are brand new and clean. if guests do put on the booties instead of shoes, i let them know they can take the booties home with them. and not as a "party favor"; heh. that's as close as i get on this issue. i wouldn't post a sign - though i did see a cute one for just this issue. it read "if you ain't God or george strait, take your boots off". :)

In Canada it's simple-you take off your shoes at the door and most guests bring alternative footwear for inside or are prepared to walk in stockinged or bare feet. Just think of a Canadian winter? Would you want people walking all over your house with huge snow boots? Mud, snow, dirt brought in from the cold? Also I personally resent those who wear stiletto heels and proceed to grind them into my wooden floor as if it's their right. I've lived in a lot of countries and I would say most take off their shoes at the door unless their host says not to.

For those of you who think it is offensive to take off your shoes in someone's homes, have you thought about how disgusting it is to have a home with carpet that has been walked on with dirty outdoor shoes? Also, to echo mzp, i cringe when i see people on the bed with their shoes on. This must be an American thing, because i have never worn my shoes inside someone's home in Canada.

Also, to those women who are complaining about having to take off their heels and go barefoot in the cold winter...who goes sock/hoseless in the winter??

I have had some guests in the past who will bring a pair of indoor shoes to wear, with which i have no problem. I think it's uptight not to respect the host's request to take off your shoes, especially if he/she has spent the time vacuuming and mopping the place for your visit.

As someone who communtes via train and bus everday, there is NO WAY I would wear those same shoes around my house!

*commutes

herselftheelf says:

"Like someone else said the US is the ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD that not taking off shoes at the door isn't automatic. In Canada we take our shoes off. "

I have to disagree. I find that in Canada people are as polarized on the issue of shoes on/ shoes off as AT readers.

I need to know if a host will expect me to take off my shoes. I have foot issues that make standing or walking barefoot painful--and the pain will last for two or three days, after just a couple of hours of going barefoot. If I know in advance, I'll bring house shoes to change into. If I don't know in advance, I'll have to cut my visit very short. Slippers won't help--walking in them is very difficult for me.

I mean, I'd never walk into someone's house with wet or muddy or snowy boots or shoes--if the weather is bad, I'll bring shoes to change into. That's just common sense.

But there are many, many reasons why some people need to keep their shoes on. I really don't want to have to stand at a host's doorway and explain that while I may *look* young and healthy and able to stand barefoot for hours, there was this accident when I was a teenager that caused nerve damage and broken bones and a lot of other stuff and I'm just grateful to be able to walk. Nor do I necessarily want strangers to be able to see the scars. The whole accident thing is something that only a few people know about, and I'd like to keep it that way.

If it means that much to someone, then I will take my shoes off without a fuss. But it is not a requirement in my house.

I find it funny the people who are so squeamish about germs and feces and other things being carried with them on thier shoes. Do you really know how many germs you encounter throughout the day? Wash your hands, have good diet and exercise to promote healthy immune systems, and stop going to the doctor for antibiotics every time you sneeze! I don't contract any more illness by wearing shoes in my house than my sister who does not (per her husband's request). It just sounds silly if that is the reason. If it's about the carpet, fine. But seriously, germs?

CrowNology, I'm in Newfoundland too! Represent! And I completely agree, if you walk through someone's house with your shoes on here, it's considered extremely rude, you may even get yelled at. Seriously, the nicer the home, the more enforced the shoes off rule is. Thoughtful hosts have a bundle of fuzzy hand knit slippers by the door if their floors are cold.

lol @ gudnis

Wow...90 something comments on this hot button issue. It is funny to me because I live in Hawaii and it is a non issue here. We don't wear outside shoes in the house and unless your host says to you it's ok to come in with your shoes on, you shouldn't. So if you plan on moving or visiting, don't wear your Manolos to a house party, rubba slippas (flip flops for you mailanders) are more appropriate as you can rest easy as you leave them outside the front door. (I do wear slippas inside as my feet get sore on the hardwood and my grandma wore tabis, Japanese house socks but it would be a pair especially to be worn indoors).

I'd accept a shoes-off invitation, taking along my own socks and slippers to be put on after arrival. However, if I were to find it was a shoes-off affair upon arrival, then I'd probably feign a sudden migraine so as to excuse myself politely. I wouldn't wear somebody else's socks and slippers because I think of them as underwear. I wouldn't go barefoot because my feet are deformed. If I lived elsewhere, I might keep socks and slippers in the car. Although I realize this position is more cultural than logical it's the best I can do as a party guest. Happily, shoes-on is the default here.

wow, glad i am canadian and taking shoes off is standard. would you walk barefoot through your neighbourhood? no, because of poo, spit, trash and what the rain water spread around. it only takes one insistent person to spread these germs around to everyone else's feet, the homeowners flooring and possibly their furniture. i could not imagine having my guests use the subway to get to my apartment then walk through it with their shoes on. either the popularity of this convention in canada forces people to forgive/forget/not notice the state of peoples' feet and socks, or we just don't care what peoples' feet look like in canada.

For those that complain about foot pain when walking around barefoot/in socks: I think you have a bigger issue than what's discussed here. You may want to consider orthotics, and wear them with running shoes. Don't tell me your heels offer you support, they do much more harm than good!

Another (Toronto based) Canadian here. I automatically take my shoes off when I visit friends, and they do the same for me. It's very rare for me to visit someone who encourages me to leave my shoes on. Half the year it's so slushy and gross out you would have to be crazy to let people walk around in your house with their outdoor shoes on!

Having said all that, when I lived in London (England) shoes stay on, and they would all find it weird when I would be trying to take my shoes off at the door. So it does seem to be culturally specific. I actually don't like wearing shoes in someone's house, it feels wrong to me just because of where and how I grew up.

and if you have an extenuating circumstance for any sort of social convention, just fill in the host. it doesn't need to be your life story, just a simple "i would really be more comfortable keeping my shoes on", or "i can't be without shoes for too long because of minor health issues". unless your friends are complete assholes, you won't need to get into it. it would be the same if you passed on the wine because you were on anti-biotics, or if you avoided carbs at dinner because of a diet.

I want to be warned beforehand. Last time I was forced to remove my shoes at a party, it was Christmas and freezing. I have very severe Raynaud syndrome, so cold feet can become a serious problem for me. I'm not having my toes amputated because some priss is too lazy to mop.

If you warn me ahead of time though, I'll figure something. I might not be happy about it (if it's cold anyway), but I'll be nice.

I have to wonder though, these people so adamant about shoes off, do any of them have dogs that live inside? Do you make your dogs wear shoes when they go out and remove them upon reentering? Do you wash their feet?

This baffles me. I have never heard of anyone taking off their shoes when going to someone else's home. Apartment Therapy - do some sort of geographical poll. I've never heard of this, and it just seems like common practice in some places and uncouth in others.

I try to respect the wishes of the host, but I personally tend to opt for letting the guest do what they feel most comfortable with. It's such a cultural issue - in Asian cultures, the no shoes indoors is very strict and offensive if not adhered to. In the West (not just the US), I think shoes are more accepted indoors.

Personally I prefer shoes, not only does it make my feet feel better, but I keep them respectably clean before entering a home - and some people do consider their shoes as part of their outfit.

I've been to enough get togethers, where I'm sorry, there have been a few guests who have had their feet marinating all day in their shoes, and they had to take them off and wander all over the house leaving a scent trail. I think I'd rather have a little mud in the house than someones personal funk that can take a while to clear.

I never ask anyone to take their shoes off but I would not appreciate it if they tracked mud on my carpet. I used to go shoeless but now that I have arthritis in my feet I cant go barefoot without my feet hurting. elderly people too need supportive shoes and many never go barefoot and cant wear socks or slippers. Older people need shoes on.

Chiming in:

American - yes; Shoes off = hate it. I have wood floors, and would never think to make people take off their shoes in my house. There's nothing wrong with scuffy wood floors, it shows they are much loved. :)

@satchmoshello: The birds on a branch coat rack used to be sold online at modcloth.com, but has since been sold out. I have no idea who makes it or I would be hunting to find one myself. I put off buying the one on modcloth for too long, so now I'm SOL.

I find it odd that guests expect hosts to make an exception and allow them to wear shoes in an otherwise shoe-less home. Clean-up is not as simple as just a floor mop. What about area rugs and carpets that we don't want soiled and/or would have to be professionally cleaned?

Wouldn't it be easier to just respect your host's wishes for a few hours and remove your shoes at a party? Post party clean up is enough, without the dirty shoes. I'm shocked to see so many nay-sayers about having to remove shoes. Not that big of a deal.

Hosts: make it fun! Humorous, creative signs bring lightheartedness to the no-shoe policy.

Wow, I didn’t think this was a serious issue. In France nobody asks their guests to take their shoes off. That would be strange and even rude.
As vain as it may sound, shoes are indeed a part of your outfit and an important part at that. Do you ask your guests to take off their pants, jewellery or make-up? I don’t think so.
Plus, you never know if the floor is going to be as clean as the hosts are making it.
If it’s tiles or concrete, it’s cold and it hurts; if it’s hard wood there may be splinters, etc.
People do have feet problems and it’s disrespectful to ask them to comply to the host’s wish that his super beautiful house remain pristine. Even when it’s just a small party with friends, asking them to remove their shoes means that you care about your house more than you care about them.
As for the germs, well, all the doctors in the world will tell you that you need to accumulate germs to develop a resistance to them and have strong antibodies and stuff.
And if your floor is a little bit dirty after the party, then so be it! Stop being so obsessed with cleanness, there’s nothing wrong with a few stains or some dirt that will take about 5 minutes to vacuum or wipe off…

Shoes off or on depends on the weather conditions , the type of flooring and whose house. Sometimes I will take them off and just wear socks, sometimes I will bring an extra pair of shoes to change into. And sometimes I will enter, WIPE MY FEET on the mat ( maybe double check by actually looking at the bottom of my shoes) and the enter.

Yes, in these comments shoes-off seems more common in areas of urban homes, heavy snow, healthy Asian demographics, upper SES, and/or high-end flooring. That leaves out a lot of continental U.S. homes, which may explain why I didn't see it while living modestly in TX, NE, MD, and FL. I will concede that the idea of shoes-off has a lot of merit, though.

Wow, I had no idea this was such a bone of contention! It really must be regional, as I grew up in the South, and I don't recall anyone taking off their shoes when entering another person's home. Truthfully, it seems a little presumptuous... I don't want to see your feet - thanks but no thanks on that one. Why not help yourself to whatever's in the fridge, then flop down on the couch and unzip your pants while you're at it? And a dinner party where no one is wearing shoes just sounds plain weird.

If I lived somewhere with snow, I might feel differently. I do visit Canada once or twice a year, and most of the houses I've visited are "no-shoes" houses. I can understand not wanting folks to track snow and mud into your house. Or maybe Canadians just have prettier feet.

The argument about ruining an outfit by removing shoes is pretty hilarious. You are a GUEST in someone's HOME. If you don't like a shoes-off policy and are unwilling to graciously comply, then you'll be near the door so you can attempt to make less of a scene as you leave! Chances are, if you can't comply with such a simple requests we're not going to get along anyway.

Personally, I allow party guests a choice but most people know to take their shoes off in my home. I'm American and while that's not popular here, it's my home and my floors. I do my best to provide unworn socks for people who have feet issues or legitimate medical concerns, but my hospitality ends there.

what about folks that have orthotics in their shoes, whether they be 80 y/o old ladies or men in their 20"s, both of whom should not walk without them because they are using them to fix damages in their foot? What about people who are not as stable on their feet, bare or stockinged, as when they have shoes on? What about the person who wears too much perfume - do you ask her to shower when she gets there? or the one with the nasty toenail fungus who is not only embarrassed, but has now grossed everyone out who has to look at it, not too mention possibly contract it?

You are inviting someone to your home - you don't get to pick and choose what part of them you invite.

Get a good rug at the front door to dry shoes on.

and by all means, if you force people to remove clothing, at least give us a piece of furniture to sit down on to do it.

Could we please stop with the hyperbolic "THE US IS THE ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD" comments? It's demonstrably not true. Britain jumps immediately to mind, and much of the Mediterranean.

I'm fortunate enough to be mostly healthy and not need any orthopedic inserts in my shoes. Not everybody is so lucky. And going shoeless for me is still a hazard - I love being barefoot, yet I have stepped on some seriously sharp debris left on people's "no shoes!" floors. I've also developed chilblains which THANKFULLY did not lead to lasting nerve damage.

I think all of the accusations of "barbarism" point to this being a cultural issue, whatever pseudo-medical gloss people are trying to put over it. "Ew gross" is normally a good warning sign that you're looking at a taboo, not a rational appraisal. Look how often it turns up in discussions of homosexuality, racial othering, and oddly enough haircare.

I love this debate. I am a major slipper person at home, BUT I am 5' tall so whenever I go to a party and have to take my extra 2-3" off I feel resentful. Every inch counts when you're socializing...and staring up people's nostrils is not that cool...especially if it's crowded... then I'm just talking to tummies.
I used to go to a halloween party every year and we had to remove our shoes...come on! really?? You can go from Wonder Woman to a cheerleader in seconds without the red boots.

.. or when people are tracking city debris through your house.

Note to self: Next party, the pants come off. The stilettos, including my own, most definitely stay on. Festive!

ps: NYC pooches may be parked in an inflatable kennel at the door. They do much more harm to my hardwood and germ count than cute shoes ever will.

Living in Europe (Germany), shoes on or off isn't so much of a topic. Most people take their shoes off at home and also do so at other people's homes. It's not uncommon to have an extra pair of socks in your handbag or to take indoors shoes with you when visiting friends. Because it's not about being barefooted but about the dirt from outside. But if you just step into the hall of your neighbor to bring a parcel or something else and not staying there any longer or walking around, you usually leave your shoes on. You also leave your shoes on on formal occasions and bigger parties and receptions, then they're considered being a part of the outfit (and a thorough cleaning up afterwards is the rule).

I'm sans shoes in my own house. After all, why would I want to be laced up all day if I'm just hanging around? But when I go to other peoples homes, unless I'm a houseguest, I leave them on. Why would my host want my smelly socks all over their floor?

On the type of shoe debate though. I do believe a lot of the culture is related to the climate of the country. It makes sense to remove shoes if you live in the North. In the winter, I always travel around in my wellies, and I bring along my moccasins with me to change into, when it's snowing. In the summer, however, I'm almost always wearing flip flops when dressed down. It's just too hot! Why would my host want me to be barefoot in their house!?

It's amazing how strongly culture shapes emotions. Culture makes some people feel very embarrassed and disrespectful being barefoot in a host's home. It makes other people feel very embarrassed and disrespectful wearing shoes in a host's home. It helps when the host clarifies house rules in the invitation. I'd be horrified to learn I'd unknowingly offended my host regardless of how I handle shoes in my own home. It's a little like visiting some one else's house of worship.

In my culture, it's considered dirty and barbaric to wear your outside shoes in the house. We keep around some flip-flops and slippers to wear if the floors are cold, and these are only ever worn in the house. Also, I live in Maine, which is snowy 6 months of the year, muddy the other 6; everyone I know up here automatically shucks their shoes at the door, both at home and when visiting friends. To not do so is generally cringed at. Interestingly, my hubby is from Minnesota, where they have much more snow. His family, and all his friends there, keep their shoes on. At our house, it's shoes off for us, but we can't imagine how to politely request this of our guests. Thankfully, 99% of them have automatically de-shoed on arrival, and the 1% who haven't are elderly, so they're exempt, as their comfort trumps ours.

Wow, such an interesting polarization. It's hilarious to me that anyone would feel offended about being asked to take their shoes off in someone's home! As a Canadian, when I have visited people's homes in the U.S. and am instructed to leave my shoes on, it feels very strange indeed, but kind of like a guilty pleasure!

In Canada, throughout the summer bare feet are very common. It is never a thought to keep my shoes on in someone's home, I always keep my socks or bare feet presentable. Even my own mom, who needs to wear shoes at all times because of feet issues, always uses a rag to wipe off her shoes before entering someone's home, or she brings her inside pair.

Even in many schools I attended in elementary, we had to have indoor shoes to wear in the classroom and left our boots or outdoor shoes in lockers or cubbies.

I do have to say, though, if someone wore shoes in my home, as long as they weren't tracking in mud or dirt, I could care less. BUT, to track in mud or dirt is pretty rude.

ikea sells slippers for a few bucks each so you can afford to buy a variety of sizes for your guests. I also have a friend that buys inexpensive socks at TJ max and lets people grab a pair (and take home with them)

I grew up in Czechoslovakia and it was unheard of to not take off one's shoes in the house (regardless whether it was your house or somebody else's). My first shock with shoes-in-the-house came when I was in the UK for 3 months. I cannot stand the thought of somebody on the sofa with the shoes on, ack!

I always remove my shoes when I visit somebody, and I have parked a pair of shoes in my closest friend's house so I don't have to bring a change of shoes with me (and likewise, she has a pair of slippers in my house, although she usually prefers to be barefoot).
After 20 years in Canada, I have, somewhat, gotten used to the fact that some people wear shoes indoors. I do not entertain that much and if at all, it is usually one or two people visiting, only rarely more people. I let them do what they please but I have to say I also have some shoes in the foyer behind the front door as a subtle reminder of what is the norm in my house.

On the other hand, I do agree that if a person throws a party where formal wear is expected it would be silly to ask people to remove their shoes, and I do agree that a woman's outfit would feel somewhat incomplete if she were barefoot. Imagine a little black dress, a glass of bubbly in the hand .... and bare feet?

But I also feel for the poster who said her hardwood shoes got dented all over by a guest's stilettoes (IMHO, the woman in the stilettos MUST HAVE KNOWN that she lost the rubber piece on one heel - it has happened to me and unless you are deaf, you would hear that one foot makes a different 'clacking' sound. She should have taken her shoes out of consideration for your floors).

And an answer for Rebecca - I have two dogs and they go out into the garden many times a day. On their way in, I meet them at the back door with a damp Vileda cloth in my hand and their paws get wiped off. Every single time.
The back door is in the kitchen, and it is right next to the counter with the sink, which is always one of the decisive factors when I buy a house: how convenient it will be to let the dogs out and clean their feet when they return to the house. For that reason, I would never buy a house where, for example, you get to the patio/deck from the bedroom. It has to be the kitchen for me.

I live in downtown Oakland, CA. The things I see on the pavements/streets make me cringe when I image it on the floors of my home. I'm trying to get my boyfriend to adhere to the shoe-less household policy, but it's taking him awhile to adjust. For me, it's just natural. Especially considering what lies beyond my doorstep.

I'd rather your sweaty, stinky barefeet or socks in my home any day! Sure beats the garbage/urine/feces/whoknowswhat that's on the bottom of our shoes. Gross!

I think hosts have a right to express boundaries when inviting guests into their home. We have all them, let's respect them in each other's sacred spaces.

Being from Australia, I'm often fascinated to read people's opinions and strong points of view on topics that I didn't think were that controversial. Like Britain, down in Australia we generally wear shoes inside our homes. As in most things, I would consider communication and mutual respect the key to resolving the matter in each situation.

It would be more unusual, but not unheard of, to be requested to remove your shoes, however I think this is becoming more of a trend, particularly if it's a new house. You generally get to know if it's a shoes on or off house (is there a pile of shoes at the door?), or ask if you're not sure. Due to our weather, I'd kick my shoes off at a good friend's house in summer; it's just more comfortable for me (and means you can curl up more on the couch - I'd never put my feet on the couch with shoes on and it would be considered rude and dirty). I work at home and generally don't wear shoes around the apartment. My boyfriend on the other hand, doesn't ever remove his beloved Converse, at our place or anyone else's. I'd hardly recognise him without them on.

Having just laid a floating wooden floor by hand (a labour of love), I would hate to see big scratches and stiletto dents appear after a party (general scuffing, fine, it's a floor after all). As long as people wipe their shoes on a door mat before coming in, I don't have a problem with it (we don't have snow where I live). Although, I am considering including a humorous note in a house warming invite about not wearing stilettos. I'd feel a bit pompous to insist people remove their shoes in my home, but it is nice to be asked.

I spent several years living in Russia and Central Asia (Kazakhstan). It was customary to remove your shoes when entering someone's home, and though it was foreign at first, I adjusted to it quickly (peer pressure- everyone's doing it!). However, I will say that upon return to the States, I went back to my old ways...and now? If I were asked to remove my shoes without notice, I'd think it was strange, and yes, I'd probably be annoyed. Cultural context was the key for me, and even though I see and agree with the "it's dirty" side of the debate...it's not a cultural norm in the US. That said, I DO think that clorox wipes or something like it is a great middle ground.

I always take my shoes off but never make guests do it. It really irritates me when people have steadfast rules about shoes for a party. It is a freaking party. I got dressed with shoes to match an outfit. Don't make me take them off and hobble around in my stocking feet. If you throw a party a few times a year, you can certainly handle people in your home with shoes on a few times a year too.

In Saskatchewan it's an automatic 'shoes off'. No question. It's not a thing.

5 disgusting reasons NOT TO WEAR SHOES in the house:

http://nakedhealth.avvo.com/2011/07/5-disgusting-reasons-to-stop-wearing-your-shoes-in-the-house/

in Hawaii (America) it is the polite custom to remove your shoes before entering someones home. so for all you control freaks, keep that in mind before vacationing there. (although you will probably just stay at the hotel anyways...)

I never wear shoes in the house, just not comfy! But I really don't like when I have to take off my shoes when I visit someone. With some friends I just take them off to be comfy, but when I dress up and all and I'm not warned and, worst of all are forced to wear 'guest' slippers- not cool! Like these guest slippers get washed every time...
Just mob ur floors! Or even the Clorox idea, like it, I'll even wipe my shoes. But having to take off my shoes when I visit somewhere- to me that is kinda rude. At least give me the opportunity to bring my own slippers/socks...but even then, not cool!
In Europe we don't make our guests take off their shoes.
With Thanksgiving I'm having people over that will wear their nice clothes, shoes make the outfit and give the holiday a celebratory feel. They can keep um on, I'll mob the floor the next day. (:

the host rules. if you are too uptight and vain to remove your shoes i really dont need you coming over anyways. really! get over your ego! i have brand new cream color plush carpet for gods sake!

I understand that this is cultural, but . . .

Having grown up in the US, I've always kept my outside shoes on while inside the house, or changed into slippers or flip-flops. Then again, we've always had tiled floor, never carpet. I recall my mom always getting on my siblings and me if we ever did happen to walk around barefoot. It's a belief that the coldness and hardness of the tiles causes arthritis. The only time we did this was immediately after the floor was cleaned and mopped.

Even when we lived in my home country, we never walked around barefoot or in socks--and that's because the floors over there are mostly terracota tiles or concrete. I can't imagine anyone walking around with socks in their home with all the dust that gathers inside the house from the streets.

I live in Florida and I've only been into very few homes where we were heavily encouraged to take our shoes off. One of those few times was when I first visited a close friend. I soon learned that Indians have this custom. (Even Indians from Trinidad and Tobago.) And since this was a very good friend and I'd go over to hang out, nothing fancy schamncy, I was always prepared to take my shoes off by wearing nice socks or making sure that my feet looked nice.

When I used to work at my local historical museum, my supervisor and I went on local day trips to interview folk artists and folk groups for the museum's database. During one of these interviews, we visited an artist at his home where we were required to take our shoes off. It was very uncomfortable to have to take my shoes off in front of my supervisor, especially because I was not wearing any socks and I was afraid my feet would be smelly, not to mention in front of complete strangers who we had to interview and I was to serve as the interpreter. It made for a very uncomfortable and self-conscious experience.

Having said all of that, I really, really dislike having to take my shoes off at someone's house, especially if I don't know that I will have to do this or if I'm not close with this person. My feet do sweat when wearing certain shoes. The thought of people making a face at the stink is mortifying.

I don't require people to take their shoes off in my home. When they do, it's because that's what they do in their own homes. It makes me feel guilty because I know that my floor is not clean all the time even if it looks clean. I also don't want their sock-covered feet to go on my furniture after walking around on the floor, even in my own home.

There are plenty of reasons why other people would feel uncomfortable doing this besides my own reason: smelly feet, athlete's foot, ugly pedicure, calluses, super dry heels, nail fungus, and who knows what other feet conditions!

Personally, feet gross me out--period.

I am a fashion girl through and through AND short, and I take my shoes off in SOMEONE ELSE'S home. I don't need a warning and if height really does bother me I invite my friends to sit down and talk. My outfit will survive if I have to be stubby because having friends is more worthwhile. (: I have girlfriends who also LIVE in HIGH heels and if we want to dress up(heels and all) we go out~

Are you all Puritan squares? Am I surrounded by Dieter and a bunch of design Sprockets gossiping with their Country Club moms? Seriously. I would never dare ask someone take their shoes off in my house if I INVITE them to my home for a party. If I throw a party then I expect women to be wearing heels that match their dress. What the f@%? Just clean your floors people. I take my shoes off every day and have a "landing strip" where I store my shoes, but for a party? Thank god I do not associate with the whole white carpet crowd. I'll have my Persians cleaned afterwards, thank you, and allow my GUESTS to shine.

NOT UNLESS the host is offering fresh, clean, slippers for every guest because my idiot former brother's household had 5 teens seemingly all with athlete's foot who walked around barefooted on the carpet. I used to bring my own slippers because I knew they'd ask me to take off my shoes and, while I wanted to be polite, I didn't want what they had...

Barefoot/barefooted, whatever!

On a lot of the home decorating make over shows on TV they are putting places for shoes by the door, little cabinets or baskets, etc. I always thought why don't these people put their shoes away in the closet, now I know that apparently it's a big trend to take them off. Good to know about Canada in case I ever go. If someone took their shoes off when coming into my house house I would think, wow, kind of familiar aren't you, will you be putting on your PJ's next and staying the night?

I think the amount of stress around this issue is pretty hilarious. Especially because the common thread of complaint is "Oh no! But your shoes are dirty!" vs. "Oh no! But my feet are dirty!" The world is a little dirty. It'll be okay, either way. That said, if someone asks me to remove my shoes, or if I notice that the host family is not wearing shoes, I am happy to go with the flow. If my socks are not particularly attractive, then the host is the one that made them visible, and I probably don't have the kind of friends that care. If someone wants to wear shoes in my apartment, that's fine too. I sometimes do.

I would roll my eyes at both someone who refused to remove their shoes without medical cause, and at someone who uninvited someone who refused. Can we just all be a little more easy going?

@brooklynx - Thank you so much for your reply. I'll begin a search, too, with the info you've given me. May we each have success!

Ahhh, yet another entertaining post on The Great Shoe Debate. Two thoughts...no, three..

1. Hospitality
2. Common courtesy
3. GET OVER YOURSELVES FOLKS!

Really. Life's too short.

Shoes off! I don't want your grubby shoes on my floor. Gross. I never understood how people wear shoes in their houses...

Not to throw the cultural card in there but I guess I don't appreciate too much the "we Americans" or "you Americans" do this. The US is filled with different cultures and regions. It is not "American" to always keeps your shoes on, it depends on your culture and the area you live in. A difference of opinion is more than welcome but it disheartens me too see "gross" and "offensive" being tossed around for a practice which is different than what you are used too. As I said earlier in Hawaii we take off our shoes but if someone really didn't want too and was a guest in my home, I wouldn't push the issue. In fact, I never ask anyone to take off their shoes, never had to. I don't take off my shoes because of germs, I'm just used to it, grew up that way and it's hot, I can't wait to take off my shoes when I get home.

Frank, by the way...all ages wear flip flops all the time in Hawaii but I wouldn't say it's really "urban" or grimy (dirt maybe...). But you know, it makes jumping in the beautiful ocean so much easier...

We have a no shoe policy most of the time, including for guests. We keep guest slippers in the front hallway in case people really don't want to walk around in socks. During parties, however, it's just too much hassle to be answering the door and telling everyone to take off your shoes. Plus, if you are drunk, you just don't remember after a while. And you're going to want to wash the floor anyhow afterwards - at least I do. i just tell everyone on the invite to leave the high heels at home so I can protect my wooden floor.

I guess it's one big game of chicken. Who's going to budge? The host or the guest?

We've always had shoes off at our house, but it was never a "policy" except in the winter. Which, in Michigan I suppose is most of the time. But in the winter not only do people wear big clunky boots, they tend to track wet snow and slush and mud in that the stockinged-feet people always manage to step in. Not plesant. So, I don't think I would ask anyone to remove their shoes unless I could see that they were wet (or would damage my floors...), and then I have slippers or socks if they need them.

I grew up in an Asian house on the mainland and the no-shoe rule was quite clear and people visiting our house adjusted/planned ahead. I live in Hawaii now and the no-shoe (or slippah) rule is quite clear and everyone adjusts/plans accordingly (funny to watch movers balance a couch overhead while kicking off their boots before entering your home). The problem is when it's not known ahead of time what the rules are (frequently the case on the mainland)-- then you can't adjust and your Manolos get stolen.

In some countries where shoes off is the rule - Japan comes to mind - there are special sandals to wear into the toilet. If there is a large party with drinking do I want to go into the bathroom barefoot or in sox? Not so much.

Other cultures do lots of things we don't, and vice versa. Do we really want to practice female infanticide or selective abortion based on gender? Pointing the sole of your shoe at someone is the height of rudeness in some cultures. When an Iraqi threw a shoe at Bush, the Iraqis interpreted as a huge insult - because it was a show that was thrown.

This post is right up there with the many. Many other germophobic posts on AT. I don't know what it is about AT but readers seem to spend a lot of their lives freaked out by "filth."

As a lifelong urbanite, I have been asked to take of my shoes by exactly one friend. And I'm not a kid. Who are all these people?

I can't walk barefoot, need orthotics and have bunions. The socks I wear are slippery on wood floors. I don't want to get athlete's foot or warts or... from wearing guest slippers. If find communal slippers in spas to be incredibly off-putting. I will not take my shoes off in your house unless my boots are wet.

Get a life, people.

I take my shoes off at the door, and harass my son and husband to do the same, but I find it gauche to ask guests to do so. Not wearing shoes in the house on a regular basis does keep the floors cleaner longer...but asking my guests to feel uncomfortable in order to limit my housekeeping duties just seems rude. If I throw a party, I expect clean-up afterwards that includes a sweep and mop. I like to have my fabulous friends over for a fabulous time, and that is worth more to me than the extra hour of housework.

I've lived in no-street-shoes-in the house style for over 30 years. It's not such an anomaly. My friends understand, and some do the same in their homes.
@ Taureg I have a lovely life, thank you, and it includes leaving shoes at the front door!

It comes automatically for us to remove shoes once inside the house. We wear slippers inside. Apart from keeping the floor clean it has the psychological effect of making us feel at home. So much so that I start feeling more comfortable and relaxed the minute i take off the shoes.

Oh My God, how is this even a debate? It is literally beneath contempt to value your floors and their coverings above the footwear of your guests. I knew there were people who have this shoe removal "thing" (because there were jokes about them at prep school) But I have never met one personally. I actually feel a little unwell even contemplating a drinks party full of people in their socks, I'm going to have a little lie down now (yes darling in my vintage violet suede Patrick Cox man pumps) and try to think of something pleasant, it's all too infra dig for words.

Wow, I didn't realize how many people are uptight about having their guests take their shoes off. I suggest that they don't throw a party at all if they're going to be paranoid about dirt. You can't catch anything from having a little dirt on your floors after a night of guests in your home. Were do these people live in a swamp? What kind of vagrant friends do these people have that track poop and piss into a house? People pass germs by touching dirty objects and then putting there hands to their face or when they become airborne after sneezing....not by the shoes on their feet! Now when they take their shoes off there may be a possibility to contract hook worms from your rug from Fido.....or athletes foot fungus from someone who wore a used party slipper. That right there is gross!
Instead of offering people to take their shoes off, why don't the hosts buy inexpensive outdoor area rugs to put over their floors before a party. Cleaning after a party is a given.....if you don't want to clean don't have a party. I personally think that wall to wall carpet is disgusting because they naturally pick up dirt. So I guess this post was appropriate for AT. Design is key.....form follows function, so bare wood/tile floors and area rugs are the only way go in a home for those who like entertaining.

Haha, all those sartorial decision people are nuts.

I just hate wearing shoes so always take them off when I get home. Because my friends are polite people, they notice this and take their shoes off too even if we aren't a shoes off household.

I rarely have people over much less have parties - so I don't really expect or care if they wear their shoes inside. I never wear my shoes inside and when visiting I usually take my shoes off - mostly because I am comfortable without them.
However, I have particular friend who not only wears her shoes in my house but places her shoed feet on my couch ... Um NO!!! I've had to ask her repeatedly too... let's just say I don't invite her over very much...

Funny how hosts assume that their guests are actually washing their hands after using the toilet, or haven't picked up something disgusting on their clothes after riding the subway, taking a taxi.

What do you do when your guest hands you a bottle of wine they bought at the store where they touched the filthy door and handled filthy money.

Guests are shaking hands!

And now they're handling your serving spoons!

But I guess it's fair....they're spreading all kinds of funk around your house, even without shoes........but they get to take home all your sweaty feet and dog funk.

In NYC, shoes off!!!!! First of all the streets are gross. Who wants that dragged in. Second it's easier on the noise for neighbors below.

Where is NYC? I thought for a minute you meant New York City, but them I remembered that everyone at the last 1397 parties I've been to were wearing them....except Sagarita, but then she's far to exotic for shoes...

If you DON'T wear shoes in your house, it'll be obvious to your guests (piles of shoes near the door, basket of slippers, etc). Some of your guests will follow suit, some won't. If you are anything even approaching a gracious host, you will appreciate the ones who do, and accept that the ones who don't may have a reason. Bottom line, shut up about it.

Specifically to people worried about their babies- honestly, crawling around in the unseen germs left by bare feet isn't all that sanitary either. Your dirty little baby will be just fine.

Specifically to the "anywhere but in the US" crowd- enough already. If you've come here seeking refuge, opportunity or both, try not to concern yourself too much with the state of our floors.

I love the idea of providing clorox wipes to guests! My mom use to carry "indoor" stiletto's to house parties :) I'll do the same, easy... Do not make it a big deal.

Hint: if you are hosting guests and have to tell them about a "policy," you're not being a good host. Doesn't matter if it involves shoes (on or off!), their expected contribution to the meal, how to sit on your furniture, or table etiquette.

They are the guests; the responsibility is yours to make them feel welcome. If you can't handle that, meet them at a restaurant.

If I had a guest who didn't remove their shoes in my home I'd be a gracious host and then never invite them again. But I'm Swedish.

I just don't get those people who have wall to wall carpeting and then do not take off their shoes. Who knows what particles are in those carpets after a couple of years?

How about just don't be a dick?

If you have wet or muddy shoes, or you stepped in something, take them off without having to be asked. If there is a pile of shoes by the door, take the hint.

If you invite someone over, don't ask or expect them to take of their shoes. If they offer, take them up on it. Asking is rude. No one wants to be forced to explain their foot odor or mismatched socks.

And if you have white carpet, don't bother inviting people over. No one really wants to hang out with you anyway.

I'm going to admit to finding this discussion COMPLETELY ALIEN to me. I have literally never thought about it before now.

It's leading me to conclude that, in spite of a home full of beloved furnishings, many pieces of pricey footwear, and an eye for design, I live a deeply casual existence. I simply cannot fathom caring about this.

I just don't get those people who have wall to wall carpeting.

Why has nobody mentioned disposable shoe covers?

I assume the reasons why guests don't want to take off their shoes is because they are embarrassed be it corns, bunions, odour, bad pedicure, dirty socks...the list goes on. Not so much so that they are superficial and want to show off their shoes.

Simply get them to wear a disposable shoe cover.

That way, everyone comes out right.

The host that wants shoes off in their house must warn guests in advance. I'll not be happy about it, but at least I will be prepared. I think it's clear from what we see here that different houses have different rules in the US, so don't assume that I will carry a pair of socks in my purse everywhere. I don't want to wear your slippers, and I do like to think about my outfit, so let me prepare.

Americans like to think that the US is the land of freedom, but I find them often too ready to dictate how other people should live and behave. Yes, it's your house, your sanctuary, whatever, but you are restricting my freedom to choose how I will dress. Be aware of that.

I am Brazilian, and I was never asked to remove my shoes in Brazil, so count Brazil as one of the countries where it is not common to have such policies. By the way, even the concept of having house "policies" sounds presumptuous to me.

As a host you should treat your guests as adults. They should be able to choose how to behave. If you associate with civilized people they will always wipe their snowy shoes very well before entering, they will not smoke without permission, they will keep their voices down when it can bother your neighbors, they will not get so drunk that they are obnoxious, etc. Sometimes somebody will not be so polite. Just live with this. Don't treat the rest of us as children because somebody scratched your floors with their ruined heels, or dragged mud inside your house, or got drunk and threw up in your bathroom. Take this as part of the risks associated with everything that is good in life, something can always go wrong.

The same goes for those that have problems with people taking their shoes off in their house. The same way you should let your guests keep their shoes on, you should let them take them off. It's their choice, allow them their freedom. Dirt, smells, even scratches, are all small prices to pay for the biggest American value of all.

We take our shoes off at the door in our house, but don't insist guests do the same (especially if it's a party). It's a cultural thing, I think. In France, it's a no-no to take shoes off. So it depends where I am and who's coming.

@pearmelon, add that to the list of why I love living in France.

@all the Canadians and other cold-weather inhabitants clamoring on about snowy, muddy shoes ... most folks I know wear removable rainboots OVER their shoes to protect them. Those wet things are left by the door and worn outside. Thus our shoes are clean in winter.

I also agree that on those rare occasions I have been forced to remove shoes, my feet/stockings are dirty when I leave.

Thank god you shoeless nazis are not in my circle of friends. Any host with such a controlling demeanor would not be someone I would accept an invitation from. If your house rules (and your material possessions) are more important than your guest's comfort, some self-examination is in order.

jaimemuriel summed it up perfectly.

@vomitesse, you KNOW? I too have a difficult time imagining my last party of 30+ people, fancy dress & cocktails .... with everyone in wool socks, booties or house shoes .... WTH?

If I walk in my bare feet for even a few minutes I get cramp in my legs unless slippers of the correct height are provided I won't be dancing.

@ sutats how sensible.

Wow, this whole thread is an eye-opener for me. I grew up in the Midwest but have lived in the SF Bay Area for half my life now and have traveled quite a bit in the U.S. and abroad, and it's typically been shoes ON for residents and guests alike at everyone's homes I've been in.

When I'm working at home, I don't wear shoes (or socks), but, honestly, that's for comfort, more than anything. I have 2 indoor/outdoor cats, so I'd be kidding myself if I thought my floors were totally pristine and germ-free at any given moment, shoes or no shoes.

The big question I have is: Don't people have -- and use -- doormats anymore??? Get a good sturdy, bristly mat, like a coir-type mat, and people wipe their feet before they come in, and that solves the icky shoe problem well enough, at least in my mind.

My second question is: where the heck are some people walking? I don't own a car, so I walk a lot in between rides on mass transit, and I look where I walk. I just don't walk through the seeming minefield of human and animal waste and garbage that some people are describing, above.

Having said all that, I wouldn't take offense if a host wanted me to remove my shoes before entering. But it'd be nice to know beforehand if that's the policy, so I'd know I can't get by with hiding a run in my pantyhose below my shoe line ;) ...

I sure hope all these no-shoes militants have absolutely no pets. No dogs who walk through god knows what outside and haul in mass quantities of dust and dirt, no cats who track litter from their boxes.....

Although I grew up in the US, my family is scandinavian and we never wore shoes in the house. We still don't, in our house or in other people's. Our friends know and bring indoor shoes as necessary. We also have socks and slippers for those who want them. We haven't had to ask anyone to remove their shoes in many years.

If you come over to my house, you don't get to have sex on my bed. You also don't get to pick your nose in front of me, help yourself to the contents of my closet or jewelry box, eat food I haven't set out for you (unless you're a stay-over houseguest), and any number of behaviors you might feel entitled to indulge in at your home.

Most of this is a combination of common sense and manners, both of which are culturally construed. If you're still so wet behind the ears you don't know there's a divide on some fronts, such as wearing shoes inside, then you'll probably soon learn that once you start hosting or attending parties.

Because it's not a given, my friends all know in advance they will be removing their shoes in the entryway. (Well, except for outdoor/porch parties.) And of course I provide slippers. Anyone who values their sartorial shoe experience more than the company and conviviality at my parties is quite welcome to stay home. Not a problem! And probably not missed; I can always meet them in public or other venues.

We have this *culture* in my home for many reasons, spiritual, philosophical, hygienic, and practical as well as laziness (I have enough to clean up after a party, thank you very much) and monetary (track mud on my $5,000 wool rug--I don't think so)...

It's footwear, people, not underwear. Make whatever peace you need to and move on to something more deserving of your attention.

I live in Michigan. 98% of people who come into our house see the (clean) wood floors and say "do you want me to take off my shoes?". I've never asked anyone to, ever! People always ask me! I always say "if you want to great, if not, that's fine too". We are shoes-off for family only, if company wears shoes around the house, I clean up when they leave. However, the previous comment about a guest leaving dents all over the wood floors with her heels, well, I'd be seriously steamed about that. grrrr!

It's untrue that the custom in most countries it to go shoeless at home. I grew up in South Africa and while we barefoot a lot, it was perfectly acceptable to wear shoes at home and at other people's homes.
Now I live in Israel, and while the first thing I do when I get home is kick off my shoes, and would love to ask my guests to do the same, most people here just don't like being barefoot (my husband and all his family absolutely hate being barefoot).
Like another commenter said, I would be mortified if I were to offend someone by not taking off my shoes - just ask me politely and I'll happily comply...

AT posted the "Shoes on or Shoes off" debate in 2006, 2008, 2009, 2010 and now 2011.
Why another post about this hot topic?

I don't mind removing my shoes as long as I know in advance that it is a shoeless home. But what I don't understand is the statement that the U.S. is the only place in the world where people don't remove shoes indoors. I've lived in the U.K. and in France, and in neither place was it the norm.

I think this is a question that quite depends on the weather in the place you live! In Europe, while in the northern countries (rain, snow) people usually take their shoes off, in the mediterranean countries is definitely wierd and unfrequent to see people taking their shoes off or asking other to do so. I think it is a matter of being flexible. One funny example: my boyfriend and I went to visit friends for dinner right after work with no time to go home to have a shower, etc. My boyfriend works in a quite physical job. Our friend is one of the only Spaniards I have come across who asks people to take shoes off. My boyfriend was completely ashamed because their feet really stunk... I had to ask our friend to please make an exception with him... I think it is just a matter of being tolerant and flexible. that for me is being polite, and not applying the rule no-matter-what...

I know how vile shoes get in NYC but I think the shoes off policy is just...weird. You can't clean after guests leave? What if people have smelly feet? I'm more grossed out by people's feet than their shoes for some reason. I'd never ask people to remove their shoes. I'd appreciate some notice so I can either wear nice socks or have my feet looking decent. Also, I have a gross bunion (pointy heels...sigh) and I would choose my shoes to cover that up. The last thing I need is to be at a party and all night try to tuck my bunion foot under a sofa so it's not noticed. Rude.

I hate feet. The last thing I need in my home is someone's smelly sweaty feet all over my house. Those 'no shoe' people are usually the ones who like to sit and 'lock fingers' with their toes/ touch barefeet constantly.... then go and help themselves to the food tray. EW

Although shoes-off here would be painful and unhealthy, my suburban home's terrazzo, tile, and door mats are easy to clean. That's how I manage garden mulch bits, hair shed by my house dogs and myself, etc. What another commenter wrote about realizing a conflict is cultural rather than logical by the word "gross" being used is profound. While dirt's managed differently, both sides work hard to keep their beloved homes clean. Just let newcomers know the house rules if the area's conventions vary so they either can send regrets promptly or come prepared.

I've never even considered not taking off my shoes when entering someone's home. Why make them clean up after anything I may have stepped in? It's common courtesy. I have considered bringing my own slippers or something, though. I'm actually attending a party tonight and will probably do that, now that I've read this post!

This debate reminds me of similar party-oriented conflicts involving cats, dogs, tobacco, and alcohol in past AT posts. Standards and custom change so fast and vary so much that presenting different positions here is useful and educational. Thanks.

To me it is not so much about dirty shoes on my floor but the fact that I have hardwood floors in an 8th floor condo and shoes make for lots of noise for my downstairs neigbhors. I'm just trying to be considerate to those who live around me.

Good point hellcat! In my home it's shoes off, basket full of slippers available with various shoe sizes near the entrance. All our guests love our guest slippers, no one ever complains & they all come back.... I think it's working!

People don't like to take their shoes off because their feet are ugly and or stinky. Plain and simple. They don't want to be embarrassed by this or bad pedicures, or corns. They want to look good in their outfits. We don't wear shoes in our home. I ask people to remove their shoes, but if they would rather not, I understand that they are protecting us from their stinky or ugly feet. And that's ok too.

Wow, I had no idea this was such a hot-button issue. I've seen it done both ways, since I grew up in Texas, but had lots of Asian and middle-eastern friends. I always just do what my host is doing and don't think much about it. I'm kind of amused by all the people who say they would feel horribly self-conscious walking around in bare feet. Trust me: nobody is looking at your feet.

Here's a neat little trick I've learned, as a hostess; if you want people to take off their shoes, make a little pile of your own shoes next to the door, or next to the designated purse chair, and most people will get the hint and also take their shoes off, without you having to ask. For those that don't - let it go. Maybe they have grossly deformed feet, or maybe they're just being rude, but either way, it's even ruder to raise a stink about it.

It is simply bad manners to require that people take off their shoes for your party (or to put a warning about it on the invitation). As a host, your household maintenance issues are not the focus of the party. Be gracious, or don't entertain.Taking off shoes should be a voluntary preference, which you may encourage, but not require or even comment on. There are germs everywhere, yet we still shake hands, hug, visit, and share our lives. Stop fussing and learn how to enjoy your friends' company.

Taking shoes off indoors is not a "Canadian" thing. I'm Canadian and while I lived with my mother we only removed our shoes at the door if they were covered in snow or especially wet/muddy. The rest of the time, I removed my shoes in my bedroom whenever I decided to change.

Now that I have my own place, I remove my shoes because they tend to be loud and I try to be mindful of the people who live below us. Otherwise I probably wouldn't remove them until I got to the bedroom.

When guests come over, they tend to automatically remove their shoes but I insist they leave them on. I've seen what my socks look like a mere three hours after I vacuum and mop, and I would hate for my guests to go home and imagine what a slob I am, when I really am not.

If guests want to remove their shoes they're welcome to, but it's completely unnecessary in my home.

And PS, for those of you worried about what you're tracking into your house with shoes -- any immunologist will tell you that germs are good for you. And if you're so worried about them, I can't imagine how you justify ever leaving your home!

inprogress, you may be deceiving yourself. I have friends I like very much that have a no shoe policy, and provide apparently clean slippers at the front door. I like them, so I'll keep going to their parties, but I always have bad feelings about it, every single time. People may be too polite to let you know that your policy bothers them, and like you enough that they come back, but you should be aware that you are imposing on their comfort.

Hate street shoes in my house. So I leave clorox wipes near door and basket of new white socks in basket. Real simple people.

jlunday, I agree with you. posts like this show how snobby peeps can be. On both sides of an issue. Just take it easy, man, and go with the flow. Some ladies have weird toes they don't want to show. Some dudes have hole-y sock or stinky feet. Some peeps love to feel the air or their tootsies and like to stretch out their tired feet on cool stone floors. You can wash and vacuum later. Or you can enjoy some lovely bare foot time. Relax, have some wine and no worries. It's all good.

I grew up in the Midwest in the 70s and 80s and can't remember ever having to take my shoes off in anyone's house. It never occurred to me that it would even be a rule until I moved to the East Coast where I have made a lot of Asian American friends. I know now that if I'm going to one of their houses, I will have to take my shoes off and I dress accordingly. It's not the end of the world, and I generally don't mind complying, but there are times that it makes me uncomfortable. If I have been wearing shoes without socks, I worry that my feet smell. I have bad circulation in my feet and if they get cold, they have a tendency to cramp up, which is very painful. And, I'm recently recovering from a foot injury and need good arch/heel support - so if I'm going over for a sit-down dinner, no problem. But, if it's a party and I'm going to be standing, it's hard on my foot to be without the support of a shoe.

And just in response to the "slipper is the solution" comments, I might welcome that if I happened to wear socks that day. But, if I didn't wear socks, I don't really want to put my feet into a communal slipper. That's gross to me.

Finally, I look at this from the perspective of someone with dogs. I suspect you won't find too many dog owners who are fastidious about this. If you've got dogs, you know your floors aren't sterile, so there's no point being uptight about shoes.

mitchheaven I also agree with you and do the same thing at my house. Again... no worries.

You have a point. I realized while reading this post that I prefer my feet not be seen except by family and physicians. Barefoot feels uncomfortably naked and, yes, my feet are ugly. Enculturated attitudes are hard to change, so it's good to know that wearing my own socks and house slippers would be acceptable in a shoes-off home.

If you're going to insist on your guests taking their shoes off.... two things 1) don't have a sticky floor. nothing is ickier than walking around with that tacky (tactile) feeling underfoot. See though the problem is... most people don't know their floor is sticky because it's normal to them.
I also don't want to be barefoot and picking up bits of dirt and food sticking to my feet. If you catch your guests wiping the bottom of their feet on their pant legs... you didn't do a good job sweeping the floor before guests came.
Which leads me to 2) provide slippers.

I typically let my guests wear shoes if they want to.. unless they're wet from snow or something. But my downstairs neighbor is really fussy about being able to hear people walk (can't imagine why she bought a unit in a 60 building with wood floors if that's such a bug for her!) ... so knowing that, I went out and bought a bunch of slipper socks at Target when they were market down to a dollar each. I offer them but no one ever takes them.

As a germ phobe, I definitely understand the impulse to avoid tracking dog poo and who-knows-what through the house. But in practice, the act of fastidiously removing one's shoes, or asking a guest to do so, seems rather effeminate.

@ sutats - A box of shoe covers is great.

The classrooms at my son's daycare have a no outside shoes policy. It makes sense with infants and toddlers and New England mud and snow. There are benches by each door for removing outside shoes. There gates at each door, so you can lift your child in without taking off your shoes. And they provide shoe covers (which are super useful in the winter when it is tough to get boots on/off, but you also need to talk to the teachers).

And all this time I thought it was the company that was important. To be honest, if I am with good people I won't remember whether or not we were wearing shoes.

It is absolutely disgusting to wear shoes inside. If you live in the city you can be assured that you have some unspeakable substance on the bottom of your shoes. I cannot fathom how anyone can, say, walk from a filthy subway platform into someone else's home without feeling at least a little guilty. I always ask if my host if he/ she would like me to remove my shoes and I expect visitors to my home to do the same. I leave my own shoes outside to hopefully get the message across. I don't get upset if a visitor doesn't ask my preference or chooses not to comply, I just make a mental note to mop the floor thoroughly. When hosting a large group of people I think it is absurd to expect them to take off their shoes. I just accept that mopping the floor and cleaning the rugs is another party clean up duty- like washing every dish and plate I own. However, to those who are upset because taking off your shoes will ruin your outfit (or whatever): excuse me while I roll my eyes contemptuously.

I'm from Kentucky. What are these things called "shoes?"

I have arthritis and a bad back, and wear sturdy supportive shoes with orthotics. I cannot go barefoot. I can and do carry shoes with me on bad weather days when I will switch out boots for shoes. If I have to go without the support of my shoes then I will have to sit most of the time and I'll leave early. That's the way it is.

if you can't afford to have your $5,000 rug cleaned, maybe you can't afford that $5,000 rug ... just sayin' ... not impressed.

I'd do the same in my similar medical situation, it's a pragmatic compromise.

I have very strong opinion on this. I am European and grew up with that shoes were only worn outside. We even took our shoes off at school growing up. Anyways the way i feel about it is that if you want to clean my floors wash and vacuum leave your shoes on otherwise take them off. I always have a bag of slipper at the door, and i always bring slipper with me to friends house - if you invited to a friends house plan to take your shoes out. I just think it is rude! And just disgusting - imagine that you have walked over pee and poop and you want to bring that into my house when i lay sometimes on the floor and play around.

While I prefer that my guests remove their shoes I don't care enough to tell them to do so. Most people get the jest of the situation anyways though and just take them off automatically, and if they don't whatever.

Its pretty obvious when you walk into a home whether or not you should take your shoes off. If there are shoes by the door and the host isn't wearing shoes then take yours off. It isn't rocket science, it doesn't require a sign. When I had my security system put in even the technician took his shoes off without saying anything.

I imagine there are few hosts that would actually get hugely offended if you preferred to leave your shoes on. And if they do, then they probably shouldn't have people over.

I have just spent 20 minutes reading every single comment. And the whole time, I've been trying very hard to picture my apartment -- or any apartment I've ever been in -- with 30 or 40 people standing around with drinks and skirts and night-time make-up and sockfeet. Never seen it, can't picture it. If 5 people are coming over for a casual gamenight or tv watching, I would answer the door in socks or slippers. Same if I was going somewhere else. It seems like a formal/informal thing to me.
I realize that the crowd at this website is self-selecting toward the end of the spectrum of people who really really care about how their house looks. But come on, if you actually care about a not-visibly-but-you-just-know-it's-filthy rug more than your guests' comfort, then just go all the way and forgo having guests to preserve your pristine sanctuary. Take your friends to a restaurant instead -- but! be warned! there, they will actually prepare and serve food in the same room as shoes that have been in the out of doors!

I'm in northern Michigan and nearly everyone takes their shoes off when the come home. We spend about 7 months out of the year knee deep in snow, salt, and muck and in the summer we're covered in sand from the beaches along the lake.
When I lived in the south it was impolite to remove your shoes and here it's impolite to leave them on. I think the trouble comes in that we move away from the culture that we were socialized in. At my house it's shoes off and it's shoes off at whom ever's house we're in.
That said here is my case for shoes off at home. Some of the complaints on here stem from shoes on all the time. Stinky feet? My husband used to wear his shoes all the time because he had stinky feet. After I finally broke him of that his feet stopped stinking. Your feet need to breathe. Can you imagine what it would be like if you left your armpit wrapped tightly in leather for 8-10 hours?
Second, Ladies in high heels who are uncomfortable being in flat/ no shoes or have ugly toes. High heels shorten your tendons and deform your feet leaving you more prone to injury anyway. I understand needing shoes to make an outfit work. I'm only 5'3" and when I wear a below the knee skirt I defiantly need to wear heels to make it work. I just don't wear heels at home or all that often. I'd rather have nice looking naked feet than hot shoes.

Hubby and I are always barefoot at home. I have a clear area for shoe removal in the entryway - comfy padded bench, mat, tiled area and slippers in a basket - and leave it at it. Most guests do, if they don't, I wince a little silently but it's okay, I'll clean up after they leave anyway. It's not a big deal really, and there are lots of good reasons why people might need to leave their shoes on.

However.. The people who are flipping out because shoes are an ABSOLUTELY integral and essential part of their outfit or, or, worse, people might SEE their chipped nail polish.. O, the horror! And, if you're worried about how your feet smell or revealing your dirty feet.. I'd suggest washing your feet. Shoes are no substitute for proper hygiene, IMHO.

Those people who ask guests to take off shoes...don't like guests. I stay home when I know those are the rules. Too fussy, too controlling. I am also afraid to sit on their furniture.

definitely...

Actually, I've been mostly sitting before leaving early for years wearing my shoes, so I'd be equally fine wearing my socks and house slippers. Thanks again for airing the debate, with which I'd been unfamiliar. The tip of picking up cues from the foyer is invaluable.

I usually keep my shoes on, but I lived in Asia, so I have no problem adhering to my host's customs.

That being said, there is an serious problem of overcleaning in this country, and those people who are so incredibly freaked out by a little dirt on their feet are doing more harm to themselves than good. [Not saying that all who take off their shoes fit this mold, just a select few.]

Yes, if you think about it there are a lot of gross things on the ground, and I wouldn't want to ingest those things, or have them on my pillow. But trying to eliminate all sources of bacteria is (a) impossible; and (b) detrimental. Allowing yourself to be exposed to innocuous bacteria helps your immune system to develop and fight off the not so harmless kind.

I also think it's funny when the same people who criticize others vanity for wanting an outfit to match, are the ones who cite white carpets as a reason for removing shoes. Or vice versa. Do you not see the glass house in that statement?

I think it's mostly a cultural/regional thing. I understand city-dwellers being a bit more worried about what you might have stepped in. But down here in the South, you walked from your house to your car and from your car to my door, so I think I trust you not to have traipsed through poo in the interim. Also, our parties tend to be indoor-outdoor affairs down here, and the the outdoor part is not always a smooth tile patio.

I agree with adalaio. We're talking about the customs of our own country, not everybody else's. Of course if I am a guest in your house, I will graciously comply. But you can't make someone be happy about your rules. And I agree with another previous poster who pointed out that it's one thing to be shoeless at a dinner party and quite another thing to be shoeless at a boisterous, standing/mingling cocktail party. I feel silly standing there in a cocktail dress barefoot, for a standing party it hurts my feet worse than heels, and I don't trust drunk people not to trod on my toes.

Besides, if it's a really good party, chances are people will end up shoeless of their own accord before the night is out.

It all depends on where I am. I rarely take my shoes off at my in-laws. Not because I'm "disrespectful," but because they don't either. Hardwood floors and leather furniture make it easy.
At my mom's I always do: lots of rugs and fabric furniture, and I know it bothers her.
At home, I take them off whenever I feel like it. Sometimes that's right when I come through the door, other times that's when I'm getting ready for bed.

So, typically I follow whomever is hosting. If their shoes are off, so are mine.

My mother had not so lovely feet - she had worn heels her entire life, so her balance was not good in flats or in bare feet. Honestly, I did not like looking at her distorted and diseased feet, and their fungal count was as bad as anything you could drag off the street. Maybe someone like her could bring new, unworn shoes to a "fete" ? BTW, a jest is a joke. A gist is what Sherry is referring to. You can do whatever you want with your shoes, but you better use good English in my house :-). Aren't we all silly.

In México, where I live, the tradition is keep your shoes on. Isn't a good taste take off your shoes. We use to keep them outside or inside the houses.

Dear Vomitessa,
I am sure that I would not enjoy your lifestyle & thus would not be inclined to visit you or have you visit me. On the other hand, I live in the way that pleases me. Where's the conflict?

Growing up, I was taught that "shoes off" was informal, and "shoes on" was formal. Shoes off rules when only family are around; shoes on means that it's a party or people are coming over. Even if just one of my friends comes over, I actually put shoes ON just to answer the door and let him/her in. A host without shoes on is no host, in this way of thinking. Accordingly, when I go to someone's house, I think that taking off my shoes is highly casual and friendly--and therefore risk. I will only take of my shoes if it's snowing/raining, if I'm EXTREMELY close to this person, or if I know I stepped in something.

If a host asks me to take my shoes off, I feel like the guest is saying, "You are disgusting. You must change yourself to be allowed in my home." Not very friendly. I certainly don't want to suggest to my friends that I think they're gross.

Of course, such notions depend on geography and culture. But I do like that people have brought up foot health issues. I've had tons of surgery done on my feet--you know, so I can STILL WALK and stand up without falling--and my feet are covered in scars. I'm totally self-conscious about it. If you make me exhibit my scars, I will be self-conscious. I won't come back.

*if a host asks me to take my shoes off, I feel like the HOST is saying....

Ugh, sorry for the typos. It's been a long week.

I don't mind taking my shoes off for a visit with a friend but when I am invited to a 'party', my shoes are a part of my outfit. I don't want to walk around in a party outfit with socks on or a pair of borrowed slippers. This really annoys me. I would not throw a party at my house and expect everyone to take off their shoes. Period.

Thanks hrhprincessfiona and siobhan. for liking my suggestion.

A practical life is a happy life. :o)

For all those who say it's obvious that a household is "shoes off" because there's a big pile of shoes by the door.

No, it isn't.

If you, like me, know mostly people who are "shoes on" in the house, you don't think to look for a pile of shoes by the door. As you enter the house, you are looking at your host's face, not their feet. If you've never been to that house before, you are taking in so much that you can easily overlook a pile of shoes and even the bench beside them. Trust me on this.

Because making guests take their shoes off in the house is so far off my radar, I need to be specifically told to take my shoes off. One house even had a cute little sign up, and I missed it. People have gotten angry with me--I should have known to take my shoes off! Since this issue comes up only about once a year, I tend to forget that there are people who don't wear shoes in the house and I forget all about it. Or I see a pile of shoes and they are mostly kid-sized and I figure for some reason the parents are storing the kids' shoes at the front door. I simply don't connect a pile of shoes with the need to take *my* shoes off.

what about the host who specifically writes on the invite that they only expect those who are wearing heels to take off their shoes bc they don't like the floors to get scratched (on their deck!!). Isn't this a little "control-freaky"?

The thought of being expected to walk barefoot or in stockinged feet on my host's bathroom floor grosses me out.

Dear mei-ling,
It's Vomitesse, not Vomitessa (which sounds like a girls name). But I wouldn't expect someone who spends so much time worrying about their floors to take the time to get my name right. You sound like a gorgeous poster child for the great unshod.

As Carrie Bradshaw said on Sex and the City, "It's an OUTFIT!" When I'm invited to a party I incorporate my shoes (usually knee-high boots) into my get-up. Walking around without them makes me feel incredibly informal, and being asked to remove them feels similar to being asked to remove my makeup at the door. Or how about taking off my bra? If you actually know how to entertain in a real, adult way, you know how to deal with shoes on your floors. Stocking-footed parties are for toddler play dates and movie night. Otherwise shoes are on, and the only time I take them off is for a fun game of Twister.

It is amazing that this is such a huge debate, but it did make me think about the whole shoe thing. I am Canadian too, and I honestly have never thought about not taking my shoes off in someone's home. I don't know if it's cultural, or regional, or just a coincidence. It feels like it would be presumption to remain shoed on someone's lovely floor. On the other hand, I've never been to the kind of party where shoes would be an issue.

Thinking about it, I don't think I'd want to go to or host a "shoes on" kind of party (Hallowe'en excepted, naturally). I like things mellow. Any of the invitees to a party I hosted would happily have a few drinks while curled up in one of the many throw blankets on my couch, frequently with a cat on their lap. That's just the kind of gathering I like.

That's not to say I wouldn't happily welcome in a guest that felt the need or desire to keep their shoes on... What good are awesome shoes if they just sit by the door?

No shoes in the house. This is why:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Consumer/story?id=5177409&page=1

I like the option to keep my shoes on, especially if I am going to be standing or walking around, like I tend to do at parties. I also keep my shoes on most of the time at home, not because I necessarily love my shoes that much or get cold feet, but because my doctor insists. I have wonky hips-- one leg is a bit longer than then the other, and strangely enough this contributes to hip pain and can cause a problem with standing and walking. So a heel insert in one of my shoes really helps. I'm a healthy young women and I'm not about to complain about my hips if asked to take my shoes off, but I think for some of us there is a practical reason for wanting to keep our shoes one, like avoiding pain and physical therapy.

I love how this topic pretty much reveals how everyone in the world is a complete snob!
Personally I'd never wear anything on me feet if I could get away with it. And keep a foot bath by the front door.
I was lucky enough to live like that on a tiny tropical island for a two years and it was heaven!

Another Canadian here. My family and friends are a shoes on kind of group. Now in the winter, everyone takes their boots off of course. Those like me, who need to wear shoes because of physical problems, bring a pair with them everywhere; some bring slippers; others like their stockinged feet. It has never been an issue. Its a FLOOR people! It is meant to be walked on, not eaten on or preserved like some precious piece of art. Now if I decide to dance on your table with my shoes on, you have reason to be grossed out - but your floors!?? Come on now...

Right, so from what I can gather there are three main reasons for taking the shoes off

1) Culture (Asian for example)
2) Climate (You live in an area where snow and slush cover your shoes six months of the year
3) Cleanliness

I wouldn't think twice about the first two, but when I feel like I'm in a neat freaks house....

Please don't share slippers. That's how foot fungus spreads. But, I live in Florida where nearly all or our entertaining is indoor/outdoor. I don't expect guests to traipse around my back yard or my wooden deck barefoot or in stocking feet. And we have this thing called a MOP, so if out floors get dirty, we can clean them. I say keep those damn germ-toting guests out of your home. Meet at a restaurant; preferably one with a shoes-off policy...

Definitely shoes-on for me!
When I have a party I expect people to make an effort with their outfits- cocktail dresses with slippers or bare flat feet? Ridiculous!
If you're not comfortable having people's shoes in your house don't invite people. It's so rude to ask them to take off their shoes! (Unless you're Japanese!)

a house party where everyone is wrapped up in blankets, drinking????!!! REALLY? good grief, that's not a party, it is a quarantine.

It's only courtesy for a host to notify guests of a no shoes policy in countries where it is not the dominant norm.

And alas! The world is rapidly changing and slippers provided by hosts are no longer a viable alternative (my mother's and best friend's extremely contagious fungal infections are scary reminders).

So, please, if you're hosting, give a heads up to your guests when you issue the invite if shoes are expected to come off. I have a shoe width of H (that's what comes after EEEE), wear orthotics and need to make appropriate arrangements, which I'm happy to do. But don't make the mistake of telling me about your rules when I arrive on your doorstep. That's just rude.

After having reflected on this subject overnight, I realize that growing up in the South, we addressed this issue in our housing designs.

Southerners have mud rooms. They are located inside the back door or just inside the door from the garage. They often contain a washer/dryer, benches, pegs, and sometimes locker type installations if there are a bunch of kids in the family.

We use our mud rooms if we are dirty. Southerners tend to be outdoors a lot, sometimes covered in mud or soaking wet. The mud room allows dirty family members, and guests, a place clean up, and remove dirty shoes, at least, before coming into the house.

The front door is for guests, clean guests. It would be unimaginably impolite to ask someone to shed their footwear.

My comment above, not to ask someone to take off their shoes unless they were damaging my floors, conforms to my upbringing. I guess this is a cultural issue, as so many have suggested.

i would never ask someone to take off their shoes @ my house- that is way rude. BUT I appreciate when they do, especially in rain/snow. It's annoying to clean your floors several times a day. If someone is just popping in for a couple of minutes, or it's a nice party, that's another story.

while I am usually bare/slipper footed at home, I wear 3" platforms most of the time if I am wearing pants or jeans..... and lower heels if I am in a skirt/dress...... if I am to take off my shoes at a party that will make my pants drag on the floor and could cause me to trip. I personally think that wall-to-wall carpeting is totally disgusting .... it is like never changing your underwear!! If you pull up your carpet and see all the little bits of crap your vacuum does not pick up you would agree with me. I do not like walking on a floor barefoot that has had dog drool or what a-is-under-its-tail smears either. You may wish to keep your carpet clean but I would like to keep my FEET clean. A FORMER "friend" had new carpet and when I entered her home she pointed out her "new shoes that I only wear in the house"... I admired them and did not "GET" her "hint" ..she then ordered my clean shoes off of my feet. But this is also the type of person who would pick up imaginary pieces of lint off of your sweater, the floor and refuse to touch a magazine while waiting for an MRI (germs!).

I don't wear shoes at home but I rarely ask others to take theirs off when they visit unless they have heels. Most people take theirs off automatically if its rainy or snowy.

Removing heels in an apartment building with wood floors keeps the neighbors from hating us.

The number of comments with such strong opinions on this subject matter is astounding, and hysterical. I've been reading this for way too long and haven't even come close to getting through all of them. So what the hell, I'm going to add my two cents:

I am in the "what is an outfit w/out shoes?!" camp and often feel bummed if I have to take my shoes off. I'm also 5'-1" and typically wear at least a moderate heel so I feel bummed and....short. Lastly, - slippers? C'mon folks. Attendees at an adult party donning bare feet or socks look ridiculous enough - but slippers? My feet are quite small as well so it's pretty certain host-supplied slippers will look like floppy clown shoes on me. Now THAT'S a way to make a guest feel comfortable. ;-)

I usually remove my shoes when I go into someone else's home- unless their house seems dirty... I would like for people to remove their shoes when they come into my home, but I don't risk being a bad host/ making guests uncomfortable and asking them to do so. For a party however, where people get dressed up I want them to leave their shoes on. I love fashion. I can clean my floors. But if someone's raggedy stilettos are damaging my hardwood, I might have to produce my butterfly knife... I'm just sayin'

My family's Korean, so we've always taken our shoes off inside. Come to think of it, most of my friends are Asian too, and they do mostly the same at their own homes (one Filipina friend however, has a pretty lax policy except when it comes to her bedroom). When I really give it some thought, the strongest argument for taking off your shoes is the fact that the bottom of your shoes is in competition with your hands/fingernails for most contaminated part of your person. Think about it, the bottom of your shoes come in contact with everything that ends up touching the ground (including all the stuff you don't see or know about). This includes: animal droppings, urine, e.coli, salmonella, decomposing matter, insecticides...do you see where I'm going with this? At least with your hands, you can wash them with soap. The underside of your shoes are not as easy or quick to clean. This is especially important for homes with infants and small children (whose immune systems are still developing), they walk/crawl all over the floor and put things in their mouth from pretty much anywhere. Yes, the shoe-wearers may feel put upon ~ but if someone asks you to remove your shoes upon entering their home, just suck it up and do it (the only exceptions to this are service workers like plumbers, who do not count as guests). And for the hosts, why don't you make it easier on everyone by letting people know beforehand that your home is shoes-off and providing slippers? My friends all already know by virtue of my being Asian, but I always perform the courtesy of nonchalantly asking them to switch their shoes for slippers as soon as they come in. I try to make it easy on everyone, myself included.

Shoes off in Jamaica. Most persons have tile and yet still the shoes come off. I wear no shoes and flip flops in our apt.

I've lived in Scandinavia where the cultural norm is shoes off. Part of our house is Japanese style with tatami mats and I would be so, so horrified if someone wore shoes on them... probably a Japanese cultural norm, but a knee jerk reaction nonetheless! Fortunately everyone so far who's come over automatically removes their shoes, even the American cable repair man and house inspector, whom I didn't expect to. Perhaps the fact that the house looks "foreign" to them is an automatic cue, but I was surprised at how friendly and interested they were, as in "Ooh, I saw this kind of thing in a movie. I should remove my shoes, right?"

children from ultra-clean homes get more allergies and infections.
How can people be so obsessed with dirty feet when hardly anyone uses a bidet in America.. Maria Callas, the great opera, singer felt like vomiting when she sang at the Met and looked out on to so many unwashed bottoms...
a lot of things we believe are logical are actually based on inadequate information.
I was never asked to take shoes off in the UK. Can you imagine a party at Buckingham Palace..all in full regalia and regimental attire ... sans shoes.. sounds like a Monty Python sketch to me!

It also has to do with how a home's floors are used. All I do on my entirely terrazzo and tile floors is walk. I don't sit or lie on them, and there are no babies here to crawl on or eat from them. My husband mops regularly, but we don't walk on them barefoot and wouldn't want guests to go barefoot because these hard floors would be uncomfortable for them.

We remove our shoes when we go to the 2nd floor where bedrooms are. Our guests and workmen are always asked to keep their shoes on unless it's snowing or raining. They always remove them and I'd never ask. I will not 'view' any real estate open house if they ask me to take off my shoes unless there are paper shoe covers there. Why should I walk in my stocking feet in some stranger's house?

I have been to some peoples homes (NYC) where people ask that you do as a rule and others don't.
If you are going to ask there should be shoe covers for me to wear, or clean booties. Im not going barefoot on anyones floor.

On the other hand at a party, shoes are part of my outfit, who wants to walk around in slipper socks at a party? That is so tacky (and ugly), my shoes are usually the anchor of my outfit.

I do wipe the bottom w clorox wipe before storing them, and I wear flip flops/bootie socks at home.

On the other hand....If you put your purse/handbag/bookbag on my counter, bar, table...I will BREAK YOUR FINGER!

Simple solution: Leave a nice shoe rack at the front door and put at least one pair on it, so people know. In Canada, wearing shoes indoors is considered unhygienic and potentially offensive to the host (trekking dirt onto their nice carpet or hardwood floors)....

Does no one have a doormat?

Leith said: On the other hand....If you put your purse/handbag/bookbag on my counter, bar, table...I will BREAK YOUR FINGER!

EXACTLY! people put their purses and bags on the toilet stall floor and then plop them on the table at home. Forget shoes -- they are SUPPOSED to be on the floor unless wet or muddy.

@smellykelly, very good, haha.

Wow, I would never ask anyone to take their shoes off (unless they were obviously muddy, because I don't want to sweep/vacuum immediately). If I went down that path, I might as well put plastic covers on the upholstered pieces and maybe a drain in the floors so I could hose them down after the unwashed masses leave the party. What's a little dirt? I bet we get no more communicable illnesses due to wearing shoes in the house as those who require no shoes. What if someone defecates in your toilet and flushes? The aerosol spray from that is pretty potent. Gah, you can go down a slippery slope with the fear of germs.

There is no way I would ever go to/stay at a party at which I was required to remove my shoes. What, is your floor too good to *walk on*?

Oh, no, I see, you don't want to have to clean up after me: so do you serve all your food and drinks on/in plastic plates and cups? Perhaps you put down paper towel before I sit on your furniture? And I assume there is no way you would let me use the bathroom. Actually, you probably shouldn't serve food or drink: someone might spill it on your *floor*. Or maybe you should charge an entrance fee, and use it to pay for the cleaning?

Asking people to remove their shoes is the height of inhospitality and anathema to the entire idea of giving a party.

Unless we're talking tatami mats

To those who grew up in shoeless households, wearing shoes in the house is as disgusting as wiping your shoes on your plate before eating dinner off of it. Or stomping on your pillow before you sleep on it. In Japan, where I grew up, the entryway is built several inches below the foundation of the rest of the house. It's a place to remove and leave your shoes, then step up into the house.

Street shoes have no place around the home in my opinion! Most of my guests are fine with that, it is generally agreed street dirt is best left outside - especially considering the state of the footpaths in my neighbourhood. However I can handle guests wearing their shoes on the polished concrete because that's easy to clean- but the rugs are strictly out of bounds!

I read about when homes in this country were being switched from outhouses to indoor toilets with plumbing. Many people initially found the idea of toilets in the home unhygienic and gross. They wanted to keep their hole-in-the-ground outhouses because they seemed more sanitary. Like the shoes-on/-off debate, it's cultural, or how you're used to managing life's messiness.

Growing up in Canada I took it for granted that people took their shoes off when entering a house. It's just a given. We take our shoes off in our house but I'm not opposed to people wearing "indoor shoes" or party specific foot attire if we hosted something more formal. That aside, I can't wait to get my shoes off when I get home. It's about cleanliness but a big part of it is comfort. If you're at my house though I'm not judging your socks or your toes, in fact, I'm probably not even looking at your feet. That's just what we do in our house and you can do whatever you like in yours. I would certainly be understanding if a "situation" prevented someone from taking their shoes off but an invitation to my house is not an invitation to run amok (ha!) with my general house rules. Just a thought but perhaps people wouldn't have such smelly, gross feet if they took their shoes off and let them breathe once in awhile!

These days, it is rare to find a home that doesn't have a "no shoes" policy. Shoes lined up at the door way is an instant indication of the house rules. If I happen not to see shoes near the doorway, I still ask. I think that should be standard guest etiquette. Perhaps a "no shoes allowed" sign will work for those who somehow overlook a shoe filled entry. I have cushy socks and slippers (nice ones that I buy on sale, especially after the holidays) in a basket at my door and encourage guests to take home. They are always thrilled to leave with a new pair of slippers or comfy socks!

If I went to someone's house for an informal dinner or chat in my everyday run around shoes I would take them off at the door. If I was there for a party in my fancy shoes that see mostly interiors I would leave them on. I don't ask one way or the other but would expect the same of my guests. If your shoes are wet, dirty or muddy it is common sense that you leave them at the door. Maybe I am just weird as I think it is situational.

Someone asked who really has white carpet.. and that would be me! Not in the living room though, that's batty. But damn is this white carpet so plush and so nice, haha.

"But the American custom is to wear shoes pretty much all the time in the majority of social situations."

Patently untrue. Certainly all the shoes-off commenters in this thread are not all non-Americans. Or... do you mean "real Americans" keep their shoes on? >.>