Sometimes, moving (as hard as it is) is the easy part. Often, it's the result of a significant change in one's life — a new job, a new relationship, a new baby, an empty nest, retirement, a painful breakup, (or worse) the death of a spouse — but it's a physical act, and one that can manageably be attacked with a list, a plan and some heavy lifting. But what happens after that…?
When the last box has been unpacked, many times, there's still emotional settling in that needs to be done — accepting and embracing your new surroundings, but also finding friends and creating a fulfilling life under new circumstances. Too often, this part is not so easy.
Alex Williams, husband of the much-loved blogger Joanna Goddard of Cup of Jo, (and a talented New York Times writer himself), recently wrote an article on adult friendships entitled 'Friends of a Certain Age (Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?)'. In the article, he explores the differences between making friends as a child and tackling the same task as an adult. He looks at the circumstances that begin to cloud the issue as we grow older, more independent and less available in our daily lives.
It's a situation that many of us have faced personally, at least once in our lives. And I'm curious: how do you handle it? Have you tried any of the online friendship sites like GirlFriendCircles or CompanionTree (sort of like match.com for friends)? What about Meetup groups, or other types of social gatherings? What's been your experience, and what advice would you give to others who are attempting to negotiate new friendships at new stages in their lives?
(Image: Darren Star Productions via Redbook)