Definitely today. I don't like the formalities of past dinner parties so much.

1950's definitely - except I don't feel women would have to always serve

Not that I'd want to do it on a regular basis, but it'd be so fun to sit in on a fancy dinner partay circa 1900....getting all dressed up, the furniture, all the crazy etiquette customs....

Are there any good resources anyone knows for finding these older recipes/traditions? I'd love to throw some dinner parties in the spirit of different decades, but finding a reliable source for this information has been hard. Garage sales, sure, but you never know what you'll find...

I agree with Mona D on preferring more casual dinner parties.

My favorite dinner party scene was the Mary Tyler Moore episode where Mary told Mr. Grant that he took four servings of the veal and he had to put some back. And Sue Ann Nivens criticized Mary continually in her saccharine sort of way.

ngnerd-

The Veal Price Orloff episode!

Veal Prince Orloff, I meant.

Your 80's dinner party pic looks more like a wedding/bar mitzah/anniversary party in a catering hall to me.

Casual is fun, but if I could afford to hire help, I think a formal dinner would be a really festive occasion, too.

Today. Casual, with good homemade unfussy food and decent wine. No suits! And smallish -- six to eight, tops.

In my life, we clearly have more of the casual-type dinner parties, but I do have some strong nostalgia for the 1950s/60s variety. Today I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by hosting a 'stuffy' event, but I find some comfort in the formality of those older parties. If you know exactly what you're supposed to do, you don't have to worry about doing things 'wrong.' I also think that invitations, assigned seats, and similar conventions make socializing easier for the less outgoing among us. I know many people who would rather stay home than show up alone at a raucous party where everyone is already engaged in conversation.

Erm... because I'm a different kind of nerd: 1910 would have been Edwardian, not Victorian. The Victorian era ended officially with the death of Queen Victoria on January 22nd 1901.

amidalailama: http://logicmgmt.com/1876/etiquette/etiquette.htm
You can also often find books on etiquette that have been re-printed. If you live in the Bay Area, check out PEERS and the Dickens Christmas Faire. If you don't, check with your local SCA, somebody is almost certainly putting on Victorian events in your area.

I grew up in a family that always had formal dinner parties... by age 12, I knew the different types of fish knives vs the butter knife and could tell apart the salad and entree forks.

Just because of my background, I prefer dinner parties that are a smidge more formal. Red wine vs white wine glasses, a champagne toast, and cordials after dinner. As a result, We frequently use formal china and sterling silverware I inherited (that has about 10 pieces per place setting) :-D

oh, so to complete my thought... I'd probably prefer the edwardian dinner.......

i think the author of this post must be younger than i: the dinner parties of my parents, when i was home, happened during the 60's and 70's.

we host a dinner party once or twice a week. friends and neighbors generally. it's not difficult. and we attend one or two dinner parties a week, too. no, the dinner party is not dead. not in oakland!

A good dinner party is devastatingly hard work: at my last one I'd pushed myself so hard cleaning, cooking and decorating that I felt nauseous by the time I was halfway through the entree. Fortunately I'd rallied by the time we hit dessert :) I think the trick is to choose your recipes carefully and prepare as much as possible in advance.

I also think that people are less inclined these days to put in the hard work to make formality enjoyable, but if they do it's a refreshing change from low-effort casual. People love the fanciness of posh silverware, exotic ingredients and crystal if they normally use IKEA forks, tinned sauce and glass.

During November I'm holding a series of dinner parties I call Serendipity dinners, the gimmick being that everyone invites themselves to the dinner on the date most convenient for them, and as such the numbers and the mix of guests is reliant on serendipity. The first two dinners have had roughly a dozen guests each from different walks of life, and they went swimmingly. I had fun trying out a host of new recipes (biggest triumph so far - orange and cardamom icecream) and because I'd broadcast the invitation far and wide I had several guests who I wouldn't ordinarily think to invite to dinner.

I love casual dinner parties, but I do wish I could get my friends to dress up and had a perfect 1950's bar set up. I just think there's something very nice about dressing up to go to a friends house.

I love the painting showing the 1910 dinner party with every one talking. It is so informal and yet it started out formal.

i prefer the present--laid back yet stylish

Deliriumsama, You're right and not the only one who felt the need to point out that little error. It looks like a ton of fun and you can really see it's Edwardian rather than Victorian, since there's a more relaxed look and mood to the thing, as well as after-dinner conversation in mixed gender groups and in the dining room. This is a break with earlier conventions that would have seen women and men retiring to their own distinct rooms to interact in gender-specific activities and conversation. They certainly look like they're having more fun than in the images from just before and after, and their demeanour seems more casual and modern than in the 'Mad Men' scene.

Thanks for reading my mind, deliriumsama and Donsie_Lass! That painting is very Edwardian (just contemplate the lady to the very left, she echoes Kate Winslet's Rose in Titanic) and very much represents the time in which it was painted.