I have one every year for my daughter. We live hundreds of miles from any relative, so they have no idea what she has or doesn't have. I try to get relatives to just give money to her college fund, but they like to get something that she can open.
I don't think it's greedy if you keep the gifts under $30 and have a variety of price points. Now, if you are listing really over-the-top, expensive items, then that's bad form. IMHO.

I don't know. It strikes me as overkill, but then again, grandparents and aunts are always asking us for ideas when birthdays and Christmas roll around, so I'm not sure that creating an Amazon wishlist (or similar) would be all that different from me sending them a couple of quick emails that say "here are some age-appropriate things that we don't own that the girls might like."

To me it is selfish and tacky if you somehow distribute it to people that wouldn't otherwise be buying your children gifts. But if grandma's looking for a few ideas, then fine. (And if she's not, well then just hope she has good judgment and taste, and learn to accept gifts graciously whether you want them or not. I'm still working on that part myself.) : )

I keep an Amazon gift "registry", if you will, for my son, (I just call it a wishlist). I keep a handful of things on it that he needs or would be interested in, and I've given the link to his three sets of grandparents, who were constantly asking me what he would like or need, before I set it up. I would NEVER give this list to someone other than close family... which basically is comprised of the 6 people who already have the link for it. I can't imagine someone having a gift registry for a child's birthday party. That's unbelievably selfish.

I have created a wish list for myself and my daughter on Amazon and on Etsy. I initially did it to tag items I like for reference. Since family asked what we would like for the holiday, I referred them to the lists. I just never know what to tell people besides my standard answer of books.

If people insist on giving your child a gift that they can open, I don't see the problem in letting them know what they need/want through a registry. It seems like a win/win situation for the family and the gift-giver. The family doesn't have too many toys that are not wanted nor played with and the gift-giver gets to give the child a gift they know will be enjoyed. Personally, I would only offer the registry information if asked, because I would feel like it would be too pushy to just give it out to people. This is definitely something I will consider for my son's next birthday and next year for Christmas!

We keep a 'wish list' on Amazon for both of our kids since grandparents/aunts/uncles are always asking for ideas for gifts. Plus, many are overseas and them being able to buy what the kids want on Amazon and having it shipped to our house is a win-win. They save on postage and the kids get something they want. Otherwise, it doesn't get played with and it's a waste of money on the givers part. I would MUCH rather buy something I know somebody wants. It works out great for us. I only tell close family about it though. We usually have 'no gift' parties for friend birthday parties as the kids have too much as it is.

I don't think they're rude if people ask for gift ideas.
But I have been to a birthday party where we were requested to ONLY buy off her presents list. The mom was very picky about what kind of toys she wanted her kids to have. Everyone thought that was rude.

I do this, for my son. His grandparents (on dad's side) last had children 30 years ago. They ask me to do a list, because they have no idea!! There's only ever a few things on the list, we don't go overboard.

I never thought of "wish lists" for kids being selfish. I created one for my 2-year-old for the first time for the holidays this year. I put a few things on there that I think would be nice - ugly doll (her baby doll isn't even allowed on the table anymore; it is so dirty), helmet for her trike, Mr. Potatohead b/c she loves it at a sitter's house, boots. I tell people that we don't want a lot of things. Our place is small, so having a bunch of stuff other people like - big toys, noisy toys (if I can hear the neighbor toot, he can hear us play), etc. is just going to take up room. I tell people we'd like just one gift she really likes.

I'm kind of surprised to be the first to say it but I'm not a fan. When people ask what my daughter would like I have a list of ideas handy but I like to leave the specifics up to them. I'll tell them activities she's into, favorite colors, characters, etc. But I hate being told exactly what gift to give (on any occasion, really, even bridal and baby showers) so I don't like to put that on anyone else.

Plus, you kind of set yourself up for disappointment if someone decides to go off-registry.

I keep a running amazon wishlist for my boys, but I don't advertise it. If people ask for ideas, I tell them about it, but I've been surprised how relieved and grateful relatives are that it's out there (and they have found it on their own a couple of times). I felt a little weird about it until I got a few "thank you SO much for putting those ideas out there, it made my life so much easier!" comments.

Since I am a control freak by nature - I love this idea if I thought my husband's mom and sister would use it. They always buy things that are not appropriate or the wrong size - it would be great to point to a wishlist and go she likes these items and it this size. That way they could still surprise her, my mother in law is big on gifts but has given the same book a couple of times - and bonus I am not running around trying to fix the clothes sizes etc. Yes, I am aware I sound selfish but after three years of wrong sizes or seasons in clothing - I am just tired. My father in law rocks as he buys museum memberships and my parents ask what does she need and what size.

Slightly unrelated to the post. I know that kid! That sweet family lives in my parents hometown and we used to hang out regularly! The internets are feeling smaller and smaller!

Bottom line: keeping a registry is okay... insisting people use it, or offering it unsolicited, is NOT.
There's nothing wrong with keeping track of things that have caught your eye over time, that way you don't get stumped when pressed for gift ideas.
I love www.kaboodle.com where you can make a list of things all over the internet. My husband and I used it for our wedding registry, and have kept it up as a running wish list, mostly for each other's benefit. (I used it to "register" for a PBS membership!) We NEVER mention it unless someone asks - usually his parents- and even then it mostly serves as a good jumping-off point.

I agree with most of the above comments. I think it's fine to have one and to give it to people who ask for ideas. Sending it out unsolicited would be in very bad form, however.

I started one this year for my relatives. They have no idea what to get my kids so it makes their life easy. Outside of family, I think it is tacky. I would be mortified if a birthday party invite came with a registry card.

We did one this year for our daughter... as silly as it might seem - it helped a lot of her birthday and for Christmas as they are 7 days apart. It took all the guessing out for our friends that don't know our daughter well. But I told all my friends and family these are just suggestions .. but looking at the list people could figure out what to get her.

One of my FB "friends" (i.e. just an aquaintance) made one for her 3 year old at Toys R Us, and posted on Facebook. I about died. That is just incredibly tacky.

I have one on amazon for my daughter--I don't tell anyone about it unless they ask and I have it because we don't live that close to our relatives and they don't always know what she wants/needs (really, since she is 18 months, what I want her to have...)

a couple of my relatives have them for their kids and I find it helpful when christmas shopping.

I think it's a great idea for family. My parents and in-laws like to make sure they buy the grandkids things they really need as opposed to a bunch of random stuff that's going to end up in a closet so it'd be really helpful to have something like this for them to refer to.

I doubt most people are going to post a link on facebook and expect everyone to shop off it and that's the only way I can see it being tacky...so many families are so spread out over the country that it's just more practical to have a place where everyone can see what kind of stuff is needed and go ahead and purchase it online.

i have an amazon list for myself and children, but only because my mother-in-law insisted! I honestly prefer to be suprised.

I don't think it is rude to keep one or let people know if they ask. I use it to keep track of cool ideas and I clean it up before Christmas. I often have "an idea" at different price points, etc. We have ideas for the kids or ourselves at a variety of price points. I love amazon's because it allows me to include items from other vendors.

We have a different wish list for books and one of the grandparents buys books pretty frequently from it.

Before I would've said that registries were tacky... but I ended up making one for my daughter's 1st birthday party. :P We invited 150 people, so it was more like a wedding reception. After the 20th person asked me for registry information, I finally gave in and made one.

So... I guess I'd say that the appropriateness of a registry for a child depends on the situation... lol.

Oh, and I always check amazon before buying a gift for a child's birthday. Even if I don't buy a suggested item, it is useful to know what types of things they might like.

I believe there are Registry People and Not Registry People. Just like morning people. I am a Not Registry person.

I think there are many poor souls like @iubaker1 above who make registries as a way to direct Crazy Not Registry people toward safe channels. (Which I'm pretty sure get ignored by the people who should use them most.)

The out-of-town aunts, uncles, and grandparents in my kids' lives love our wish lists and will call a few months before Christmas to remind me to do a little updating if I haven't already.

I'm also a fan of the "birthday baskets" a small, locally owned toy store keeps for birthday boys and girls. They have pretty baskets that children can fill with toys that appeal to them before their parties, and the baskets are then labeled and left on the birthday basket shelf for party guests to check or not check for ideas. There's nothing forcing the parents of party guests to buy something from the basket, but I think it's very helpful when the party is for a classmate whose home we've never visited and whose toy tastes are unknown.

I have one for my 2 yo daughter, mainly to keep my mother in law happy. She starts asking for Christmas lists at our annual 4th of July party. I learned to only put a few items on the list after the first year when EVERY item was purchased, much to my surprise.

I think the whole "What did you ask Santa for this year" question sets kids up for the present-centric craziness of the month. Though I know it's just a way for strangers (sales clerks, acquaintances, etc.) to connect with my kid, it drives me nuts. I always ask kids what their family is doing for the holiday rather than what they are getting.

Like most people here, I think they are appropriate for grandparents and other family to use, only to be distributed if one is asked for it. I also preface it by saying "a puzzle like this" so as to imply "it doesn't have to be this puzzle".

I also think it is REALLY bad form if your kid knows about it. It is appropriate to ask an 8 year old what they might want and then fill out the amazon list on their behalf without them knowing. Inappropriate for an 8 year old to do the picking online and monitor the list. I think this leads to the disappointment/ungratefulness that someone already mentioned.

I agree with sugarbakers!!!

i've thought about doing this for years mostly to curb out-of-control grandparent gift-giving and to make sure that the birthday gift influx is modest. i've gotten by without by having pretty direct conversations with grandparents and by making my daughter's birthday parties "no-gift."

our daughter is now 7 and she has quite a growing book wish list and we may finally start keeping one for her by way of a registry on Amazon or something.

i think they are fairly harmless (as are most registries) in the grand scheme that is gift-giving as long as both sides (giver/recipient) chill out a bit about it all.

We have one for grandparents and relatives, but they don't use it at all. When we do receive gifts for our son (infrequently; our families aren't gift givers) they tend to be duplicates of items he already has. We try to tastefully direct them towards the wishlist when this happens, but they don't seem to get it.

Weirdly, my in-laws almost exclusively order items for my husband and I from our wishlists... but they won't do it for my son. So from them he either gets nothing or something he already has, kinda sad!

I guess I'm in the minority. It strikes me as... a bit much, especially for a kid. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. didn't necessarily give presents at all. idk

150 people at a party for a 1 year old? Sheesh.

My daughter's birthday falls durng the holiday season. Since this is her first birthday i did make a wishlist on amazon. I'm at work full-time and It started as a way that I could browse for things she would like/need and I could easily keep track. When hannukah got close people started askinging me what she would like and so i referred grandparents, aunts/uncles to her wish list. It said on the list & told them too, it's just a way to get ideas of the kind of things she might like, her sizes, brands etc. So far, it's been great. People didn't feel compelled to stick to the list, but she got a bunch of things that were just right for her. It made the grandparents very happy, especially since they could order online and didn't have to brave the toy stores during holiday time.

I'm not a registry person. Generally, my feeling is that gift registries are asking for presents and asking for presents is always rude. I barely even like wedding registries, though they're so accepted I guess I sound curmudgeonly objecting to them (I ended up having one, but only told people who specifically asked).

With relatives and close friends who ask, I'll say stuff like, "Anything Thomas or Brio train related will be a hit" or "He loves books" or "He's wearing 5T or XS in big kids now." Actually picking out toys on a wish list or sending links… I would not be comfortable doing that, because it smacks of "Here, get me this".

Yes, it's somewhat annoying when you or your child get dud gifts; but learning how to respond graciously to all kinds of gifts is part of life. Personally, I am teaching my son how to write thank you notes and will also be teaching him that if he doesn't like a gift he can donate it or recycle it. I don't want the focus of the holidays/birthdays to be all about the loot.

FWIW, my parents are extremely demanding gift givers and very judgmental about the gifts they receive (sometimes in front of the gift giver). I always thought it was mean, even when I was a kid, that they would dis other's heartfelt offerings. Guess my rebellion is to adhere firmly in the "it's the thought that counts" camp.

My neices and nephews who live across the country from us had them for Christmas this year and I couldn't have been more greatful! I really do not know what they want or what they already have so I would've been guessing or buying giftcards which are so much fun for 3 year olds to open. I loved being able to do all my shopping on Amazon and know that it was a one stop shop and I was done, plus their parents didn't get the same thing. Perfect idea. Oh and they didn't publish the info until I asked which I feel is the appropriate way to handle it.

I know I will be in the minority here (I'm a bit of a grinch), but I increasingly feel that, especially at Christmas, if you don't know the recipient well enough to chose a gift for them, why give a gift at all? There are exceptions to this, for example, when giving to charity or when giving to a child who needs the gifts. I mean, what is the point of giving gifts? Isn't it partly to show someone how much you love and appreciate them?

My husband and I have 5 nieces and nephews and we see them once a year (if that). I feel pressured to buy them gifts, yet we never know what to get them because we rarely see, talk on the phone, or otherwise interact with them. It feels meaningless to chose gifts for them from a list/registry. I would guess that our gifts feel equally meaningless for the recipients -- none but the oldest even remembers us from year to year.

We keep one for our daughter, but we also use it as a place to bookmark stuff for US to remember we liked for her when it comes time to buy something. I never give it out unless someone asks for gift ideas, and then I tell them that they do NOT have to stick to the registry or buy the exact thing on the registry - it's an idea list, but I don't care if people just glance at it and say "ohhh she's really into dolls! I saw an adorable doll at the store the other day that's not on this list, I'll get that!"

As a mom to an 18 month old, I can also say that I really appreciate there being a list out there for friends' kids, especially now that I know what a lot of space all that kid stuff can take up - I don't want to buy their kid something the kid already has or won't want - a list is a nice starting point for figuring out what might be a good gift!

I also created an Amazon wish list. It is so handy because you can add stuff from any site on the web. I initially did it just to keep track of what we wanted to get the kids but when the grandma's heard about it they wanted in and then so did the aunts.

I think, in general, people appreciate it because everyone wants to buy a gift that will really be loved and used. But I would NEVER send it out unsolicited.

I actually really like the gift lists when my friends do them. It eliminates the need to guess when you just want to make sure that you get something that they dont already have, or aren't opening 5 of the same on for their bdays/holidays.

Also, without a gift list you dont know whether or not they have the item or will like it so you include the gift receipt...but now if they do want to return it, they have to go thru the hassle of it.

Maybe it takes out some of the fun, but generally speaking, I think its a great idea. Also its still a surprise to the kid so win win.

My in laws do it. I don't buy off their registry. I don't think it's personal. But I understand why people do it. I personally hate the idea. But when my parents and in laws asked what the girls wanted for Christmas I sent them some links, so they could choose if they wanted. But I asked that they tell me what they bought so I wouldn't buy it too.
So, in short, if they ask give it to them.
If nobody asks don't say anything.

I hate registries. I sent an email out to a few families members about 2 months before Christmas with the generic information for clothing size and activity preferences and that's it. I only send that out so that folks know what size of clothes to get.

When I was a kid, I had a great aunt who would always buy us books as gifts, except they were always years too young for us. Annoying, but now, years after she has passed, and I look back and smile on that.

And, for the nieces and nephews that I never see, it only leads me to thinking up and making creative cool gifts that they wouldn't otherwise get. I'm not going to bother with mass market toys but the locally made, interesting, or things I make myself... especially if kids their age love it - that is a winner. It is harder for sure, but at least I know that they won't already have it!

Opinions about registries/wishlists invariably fall into two camps: those who think it's practical and those who think asking for gifts (ever, in any situation) is tasteless. You can probably tell from my tone which camp I'm in... :)

I love wishlists/registries. From a practical perspective, it makes it way easier to figure out what people need, what they're interested in, and all that. When I'm gift giving I usually buy one wishlist item and one surprise item; that way I know for certain they're getting something they want, but there's still some surprise involved.

I dunno, this whole attitude that people shouldn't want particular things isn't realistic. Sure, we'd all like to give everyone we know gorgeous, handmade, totally surprising but completely perfect, gifts that fit them to a tee, that they never asked for and had no idea existed. And how often does that happen?

Like I said above, I like to give a mix of requested gifts and surprise gifts... works for everyone. Ignoring wishlists, especially with children, tends to lead to duplicate or unwanted gifts. Using them as a guideline and extrapolating from them can be a lot of fun for everyone.

I think it makes gift giving too easy. I mean, to give and get a gift should be a special thing. To just demand this and that for my kids takes all the thought out of it on both ends. I guess I think a gift is less about the item and more about what the person who gave it to me or my child thought or felt about us.

I have never done this before but it's not a bad idea. I am constantly being asked by family what to buy for my 3 kids for their birthdays and Christmas, and I never know what to say. I know what my kids want but I don't know what their price range is and it doesn't feel right to ask. I could get my kids to pick things out in several different price ranges and let the family choose what works from them without putting them on the spot.

I totally have one for me and my daughter - and it has made the gift ideas for relatives SO MUCH easier! When someone asks - I just direct them to Amazon and leave it at that. I love that it eliminates multiples of the same gift. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten similar or the same item at birthday's for my daughter before I did it! Saves me time AND the headaches of returns!

We also use an Amazon wishlist for our son and appreciate the Amazon wishlist that my sister-in-law has for her kids. Before we buy anything for birthdays, preschool graduations, christmas... we check the wishlist. It's understood as a sort of guide for gift-giving; we rarely buy anything from the list or buy exactly whats on the list. If she lists Play Doh stuff, we find whatever Target has in that category. If she lists Star Wars stuff, we go that route. It's extremely helpful. Not rude at all.

I agree, having it is fine, insisting on it is rude. It is the same with any such list. It is better form to wait to be asked for it or leave it where it can be discovered, rather than directing people to it yourself. But, this etiquette can introduce some silly logistics, so I don't really mind being offered an unsolicited link.

I am amused by how judgmental people get on this point. It is awfully easy to slip into "horribly rude." For the record, I think a registry should have gifts at every relevant price point. Some people want to buy a big thing, so big things should be on the list along with plenty of under $30 options.

I have one for my son because his grandparents kept asking what he wanted for Christmas. He's 5 months old! He doesn't "want" anything ! hehe

So I put a few classic toys and books on it, but it's mostly useful things for feeding, travel, etc. It is not an extravigant toy list, and we don't just hand it out or insist people use it.

after being asked what our 20month old wanted for her birthday and christmas (mostly by grandparents on both sides), i asked if someone could/would open her a college savings plan, and for each holiday or milestone, a humble contribution would be the best gift they could give her.

we all have enough stuff, and making a registry of even more stuff sounds like overkill. i can see how it is practical - saves time, saves time/energy exchanging said items, but still something about it feels wrong.

Bad form, tacky, rude, I was insulted when an invite mentioned where the boy of honor was registered. Let's stop this trend now, it's so rude and frankly it takes the joy and fun out of giving and thinking of what the little one might want and shopping and all that...I can't stress enough how tacky and greedy I think this is. There's a reason people haven't always done this, bridal and baby are one thing but this is too much.