Good Questions: Moving in together and meshing styles

Good Questions: Moving in together and meshing styles

Mar 6, 2007

Hi AT,

Does AT have any advice for couples who are moving in for the first time and dealing with the merging/editing of possessions and creating a style that feels like home to both people?

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This is our first place together (we literally got the keys YESTERDAY), and we are really excited. During the past month we've been getting ready for the move by going through our respective stuff: posting furniture on CL and SFFN, as well as making numerous trips to Goodwill, Green Apple, and Amoeba to give away/sell various items. We've both made progress in terms of culling our possessions, but now that we are really, truly moving in together, we will have to navigate the tricky emotional waters of mixing his stuff & my stuff . . . and I am just a little scared, especially since neither of us has done this before. (I'm 30, and he's 32.)


Image: roger a

Dear Miki,

As with all other aspects of coupling, it can take a long time for two different styles to come together in a way that's fully harmonious. So approach your shared nest with open minds and hearts!

Disparate styles can and do mesh beautifully. You can catalyze this a bit by making it into a little game. After you've unpacked and found places for your respective furniture and belongings, allow one another to delicately nominate a few more unfamilar things for CL. (Be careful though: sometimes the ugliest object can be treasured by one person for reasons that are unfathomable to the other. It helps to cultivate some long-term tolerance for your partner's lapses.) After you get rid of these things, reward yourselves by finding replacements -- or a few new things -- together.

Anyone else?

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